“You don’t have to gut fish to convince me of that,” he said. “I brought a pole for you to use and thought we’d canoe upriver to a spot that should be good this time of day.”
It was twilight and she’d read in a fishing guide that was the better time to fish—or sunrise. “Sounds good. I can canoe. I was in Girl Scouts and earned a badge for it.”
“I’m impressed. Do you want to steer?”
“Nah, it’s been a few years since I was fourteen,” she said with a laugh.
“Yeah, me too,” he said. They got in the canoe and Red put her gear with the stuff he’d already stashed in the middle.
She followed his lead, rowing when he told her to and then resting. The Pedernales wasn’t too high, as it had been a week or so since their last rainstorm and there was a breeze on the river that cut through the lingering heat of summer. Red wasn’t a big talker normally, so she was surprised that he kept up a steady stream of information as they paddled.
He pointed out birds, flowers and different fish in the water as they moved through it.
“You should write a guide for this area, Red. You know a lot of stuff,” she said.
“Well me and writing don’t get along.”
“Then maybe do a video series. Honestly, I don’t normally like to be outside and I’m already thinking about the next time you and I will be on the river.”
“I’m thinking about it too,” he said. “I hope you like fishing.”
“I’m sure I will. I’m with you and I usually enjoy that time,” she said.
“Me too, Ems.”
He angled the canoe toward the shore and then hopped out, pulling it closer to the bank and handing her the guide rope. “Hold this and I’ll carry you to shore so you don’t get wet.”
She did as he asked, and he lifted her in his arms. Spontaneously she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him. She was afraid to let herself fall for him. Didn’t want to look the fool the way she had when Trey had left but there was no denying the way he made her feel and she was tired of pretending.
He kissed her back, long and hard, and then lifted his head. “We better stop or I’m going to scare all the fish away making love to you in this river.”
She nodded. She wouldn’t have minded that, but she wanted to fish with Red. She wanted to do this thing that he loved and maybe figure out if there was part of her that could love it too.
He baited her hook and showed her how to cast and, to be honest, once she got the rhythm of it she liked it. Red moved further down the bank and Emma snapped a photo of him with her phone. He had his head bowed as he worked on baiting his own hook. He still hadn’t donned a shirt over his muscle tee and he looked so good it hurt to breathe.
She didn’t care what she told herself, no matter how much she was trying to protect her emotions and save herself from heartbreak, she wanted Red and she was falling for him.
*
Red was glad that Emma had suggested fishing this afternoon because his trip to Austin to visit his attorney hadn’t gone that smoothly. The house was nearing completion along but not fast enough if Red was going to push for custody before the end of summer. The Odems weren’t reassured by his building a house and were afraid, in their words, that he was just playing house and enamored with the idea of being a father since his best friend now had joint custody of his nephew.
Red rubbed the back of his neck and then shook it off. He couldn’t say they were wrong because on paper he knew it looked that way, but in his heart, he knew that he wanted to be Molly’s dad because of her. It wasn’t that he wanted what Braden had—he’d never been that kind of guy—but convincing two skeptical grandparents and a judge wouldn’t be that easy.
“Red!”
He glanced over at Emma and saw that she’d caught something. He reeled his line in and set his pole down to go and help her.
“What do I do?”
“Reel it in, nice and slow,” he said.
She started to, biting her lower lip as she did it and he moved behind her, putting his hands over hers to show her how to do it.
“Thanks.”
He stepped away once she got the hang of it and moved closer to the shore, ready to unhook her fish when she got it to the surface. It was a largemouth bass and looked like it might be big enough to keep.
“Feel like fish for dinner?” he asked.
“Oh my gosh, is it big enough to eat?”
“Yes,” he said. Just eyeballing it he guessed it was at least eighteen inches, well over the fourteen-inch minimum. He caught her line as she lifted it from the water and Emma reached out to touch the fish.
She looked in its eye and then shook her head. “I can’t keep that. I would feel bad if we ate it.”
“We could take it over to Delilah. She likes having fresh fish on the menu,” he suggested, wondering if their time dating in the dark was over.
She twisted her fingers together and looked down. “Do you mind if we just throw it back?”
Of course, she would want that. Her hesitance to go public with their relationship was what kept him from telling her about his daughter. He didn’t know what Emma wanted from them as a couple and he wasn’t going to bring his daughter to Last Stand to meet a woman who didn’t want to really be with him. Still, for right now he could respect her wishes. “That’s okay. Let me show you how to release them.”
He clipped the hook and took it from the fish’s mouth and then tossed it back in the river. “What’d you think of your first fishing experience?”
“I’m not sure I’d ever make it as a fisherperson but it’s enjoyable. I can see why you like it. Thanks for throwing it back.”
“I only keep what I can eat or if Delilah asks me to get some for the Dragonfly,” Red said. “No use taking what I can’t use.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
They continued fishing for another hour or so, doing only catch and release, and then when he could tell she’d had enough he suggested they paddle back to his place. She nodded but had an odd look on her face.
“What is it?”
“I’ve always thought of myself as an indoors girl but now I sort of wonder if that wasn’t it at all. I’ve never really gone fishing or any of that because I was afraid of what I didn’t know, but it’s fun. I really liked the canoeing part and of course being lifted and carried by you was great.”
“I do my best,” he said. “I’m glad to hear that. I know that this kind of life isn’t for everyone, but I wouldn’t live any other way.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “That’s why I wanted to try it.”
“For me?” he asked.
“For you,” she said.
He knew then that he had to find a way to tell her about Molly. Sure everything was still up in the air and he might never be good enough for the judge to grant him custody but he felt like the more he got to know Emma the more she was going to be hurt he hadn’t said anything.
He rubbed the back of his neck before realizing what he was doing. “Say, have you ever thought about having kids?”
“Why? I’m not ready for a family,” she said. “I’ve seen Amelia and Cal and all of the Delaneys circling to raise Lane and it’s hard with the six of them. I can’t even imagine how upside down my world would be if I suddenly had a kid… Is that what you meant?”
She had no idea. He was less sure than ever if he should tell her about Molly until everything was settled. “Yeah, something like that.”
“I like us, Red. I know that we are kind of keeping everything on the down low but that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t real,” she said.
“Mine either,” he admitted. “You know how my upbringing was. I’m not tied to whatever everyone in town thinks is normal or right, but I wish you felt confident enough in me to trust me.”
She chewed her lower lip and shook her head. “It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t trust my ow
n feelings. Everyone else could see the kind of man Trey was, but I never did.”
Red shook his head. He wasn’t Trey Marcuse. The guy had been a bit showy for Red’s taste and they’d never been close. “What did you see?”
She wrapped her arms around her waist and then dropped them, reaching into her pocket to put her sunglasses back on. “I’m not sure. I guess I saw what I wanted to see. You know I made him into the hero I wanted him to be. Even though he’d shown me time and time again he wasn’t that guy.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. What did she think he was showing her, Red wondered? He was afraid to ask and then realized that if he didn’t ask her then he’d never know. “What do you see in me?”
“Everything that I’ve wanted but been afraid to try for. You’re daring and bold and you always make my pulse race and make me look at the world in a new way.”
That didn’t sound so bad. Right?
“You do the same for me, Ems, make me stop and look at things that I normally just rush by.”
“Good,” she said. “Thanks for taking this slow.”
*
She knew he was tired of hiding the fact that they were dating and appreciated him giving her the space she needed to feel more comfortable. She doubted he understood how vulnerable she felt with him. Her feelings scared her, and she wondered if that was all that was going on between them. Sometimes it almost felt like Red was hiding something too.
But as she showed him the ideas she had for the upstairs guest bedroom and he took his time looking over the different boards she’d put together. She shrugged that feeling off. After all she was the one who was pushing them to keep their relationship quiet.
“I wonder if you wouldn’t mind making this room more kid friendly. I want this house to be more than just a bachelor’s place,” he said.
This was the second time he’d brought up kids and she was starting to wonder if he thought she would feel more comfortable with him if he was committed to her. “Sure, I can do that. Amelia got some really cute design books for the Delaney Ranch and the room they are redoing for Lane now that he’s not a baby anymore. They just bought him a toddler bed.”
“Bray didn’t mention that.”
“To be fair, I’m pretty sure he has no clue that Lane moving from a crib to a toddler bed is a big deal,” Emma said. “I think it was past time for him to move according to one book that Lancey was reading. Honestly making this room kid friendly will be easy since so many of my friends are helping raise Lane. Do you want it gender neutral?”
“What’s that?”
“You know not really too girly or too boyish, somewhere in the middle,” she said.
“Yes. That would be good,” he said. “Also, I want to have something on the wall. I found this quote from Winnie-the-Pooh about the smallest things taking up the most space in your heart. I can check the exact wording for you. Can you find someone who can paint that on the wall?”
She had just the person in mind. One of the older ladies who came into the library was a children’s book illustrator and would be perfect for the job. “I love that quote, Red. You’ve obviously given this some thought.”
“Yeah,” he said, reaching up to rub his neck but then clenching his hand and dropping it instead. “I never really had a home or a room that wasn’t at the cabin and I want this place to be…everything my childhood wasn’t.”
She thought about that. The fact that his mom was a world-famous sommelier and had lived apart from Red and his dad for all of Red’s childhood was commonly known. Red had always seemed fine with it. But she sensed now that he had wanted more security. Heck, that didn’t surprise her.
Her own childhood and the secret her mother had kept was still motivating her in everything she did. She was afraid to fall for Red because in part as she’d said, she didn’t trust her own judgment when it came to love thanks to Trey, but the bigger part was that she felt that love was always lined with lies.
“I get that. I think it’s a really lovely idea. I have a thought…what if we make the entire room Winnie-the-Pooh themed? I can bring in the outdoors, so it matches your aesthetic and the rest of the house.”
“Sounds perfect,” he said. “When do you think you can have it ready?”
“I thought I’d start with the master bedroom and your living space and do this for the fall unless you want it sooner?” she asked.
“Yeah I do,” he said. “I think it will be good to have this room finished.”
She put down her notepad and walked over to him. “Red, you know you don’t have to prove anything to me, right? I’m not embarrassed to be with the Red who lives in the cabin by the outfitters.”
He crossed over to her and looked her straight in the eye. “Sometimes I’m not too sure about that. You were reluctant to take fish over to your sister with me tonight. That makes it hard to believe you aren’t embarrassed by me. I know I can’t read, and I didn’t grad—”
She put her fingers over his lips to stop him from talking. “That’s ridiculous. I’m not embarrassed by you. If you want to take fish to Delilah, then we can do that another time. I am just taking my time because I’m hoping it will give my mind the time to catch up to what my heart is starting to feel. I don’t trust my heart, Red. But I do trust you.”
He took her hand from his mouth and pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply. “I can wait as long as I know you trust me.”
He kissed her again and then made love to her in the empty room that he wanted for his future children and she wasn’t there yet—the children part—but she was starting to feel more and more sure of Red Aldean and her feelings that continued to grow and deepen for him. Even that niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach that he was keeping something from her was quieted by his lovemaking.
Let your bobber float on the water.
~A Texan’s Guide to Fishing
Chapter Nine
The next three weeks flew by as July melted into August. Emma and Red were spending more time together and blissfully no one in her family seemed to notice. Partially because most of their dates were at his new house. She’d watched as Red’s house had taken shape.
The sweeping brick drive had finally been laid and it matched the house that Red had built. It was made of Texas limestone designed to evoke a graciously crafted two-story home with French touches. It had a chateau-like feel, which had surprised her at first, but once Red had shown her a picture of himself and his mom taken in France when he was ten, she’d understood it. The house was stately and grand, not what she’d have expected from Red.
Anyone who saw the house would be impressed. He’d spared no expense in the entry and formal rooms, which all had gleaming tile floors and floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the lush view of his lawn down to the river. Intricate local millwork, custom wrought-iron and hand-laid mosaic tile added to the feeling of luxury.
Downstairs the flooring was a mixture of hardwood in the den, game room and that gorgeous marble in the formal rooms. The bedrooms were all being carpeted, and in the downstairs Red had gone with a beautiful Moroccan tile that Emma had seen in a picture online and had immediately thought of him.
She wanted to believe that everything was just as peachy keen as it seemed but a part of her felt like there was something Red was hiding from her. And from the beginning of their friendship he’d never been the kind of man to lie to her. He’d told her straight up in sixth grade when they’d been paired together in science that he couldn’t read. He’d never hesitated to face his flaws with unflinching truth, but still it felt like there was something more he wasn’t sharing.
When they’d both been at the saloon on a big group night out celebrating Finn and Lancey’s baby announcement—the official one—Red had left the group early and never come back. And since no one knew they were seeing each other Emma had just kept quiet instead of going after him.
But there were other moments too. Like today when he’d shown up with a Folio Library
Edition of The Blue Fairy Book for her. It was an illustrated replica of Lang’s 1889 fairy-tale book. She held it in her hands, pulling it out of the dust cover and flipping through the pages.
“Do you like it?” he asked. “There were a bunch of different colors but each one had different stories in it. This one has Beauty and the Beast, which I know is your favorite.”
“I love it. Thank you. I saw a paperback years ago but it’s nothing compared to this. This is gorgeous,” she said, leaning over to kiss him quickly since they had tile men working in the downstairs and flooring going in up in the attic. The house was swarming with people. The blinds man—Dave—was working in the kitchen fitting the custom shutters she’d ordered.
“This house is coming along. Pretty soon I won’t be needed…” she said.
“You’ll be needed, Emma. I wanted to talk to you about maybe going public,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But not right now. I have to run back to town to teach water safety to a group of kids. How would you feel about having dinner on the patio tonight? The pool is finished, and the landscape gardener finished the light and outdoor dining area.”
“I’d love it. Want me to text Delilah to see if she’ll prepare something for us?”
“No. I’ll cook. I caught some trout earlier and thought I’d grill it. I have some corn that I picked up in town as well. So maybe you could pick up some bread and a salad?”
“I can do that. What time?”
“Meet back here around seven?” he asked.
“That’s perfect,” she said. “I’ll bring dessert too.”
“That’s great. Sorry to leave you with all these workers,” he said. “You sure you’ll be fine?”
“Yes. I’m going to sit on the porch swing and read this book.”
He leaned over and pulled her close for a kiss that was much deeper than her thank-you kiss had been, and she felt her entire body go on alert. She wondered when he was going to take things further with her again. She threw her arms around him and kissed him back, rubbing her tongue over his and pressing her body to him.
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