She nodded, chewing her lower lip and wrapping her arms around her waist. “I can see that. I mean how do you even bring it up? Like maybe when we were discussing all the bedrooms in this house. Or maybe when I asked why you were building a house now… It seems pretty clear to me that you were thinking of bringing your daughter here. Was I part of it?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. He could tell he’d made her mad and he’d never realized how much of a temper she had because Emma was always in a good mood. Or had been up until this moment.
“Part of what?” he asked.
“The makeover of Red Aldean…or are you going to be William now that you have to impress your daughter’s grandparents?”
“I’m never going to be William to anyone,” Red said. “What’s got into you? I had this land forever. Since Braden is living out on the Delaney ranch now, I figured it was time I built myself a house like an adult.”
“That’s good. You should be an adult if you’re going to be a dad.”
“What’s got you so angry? The fact that I have a daughter or the fact that I didn’t tell you?” he asked. Once he sorted that out maybe he could figure out how to deal with Emma. “I’m not Trey Marcuse sneaking around behind your back all over town.”
“Of course, you’re not. It’s the fact that you lied.”
“I never lied to you. You’re calling me dishonest because of an omission, but I didn’t have enough of a hold on the situation to share it,” he said. She was a stickler for that and had told him from the beginning that she didn’t like lying. “I just didn’t bring up Molly because I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to bring her here. And I mentioned kids a couple of times and you completely shut that down. You know they wouldn’t even let me see her until last week. I had an undated baby photo that the lawyer sent me—that was all.”
He saw her face soften for a moment. “That’s not fair. And I do understand your reasoning and it was your secret, but once we slept together, you had to know I wasn’t thinking of this as casual. I wish you’d mentioned her.”
Red did too but saying that now was only going to wind Emma up even more. She stood up and walked to the end of the library and looked out the window as the afternoon shadows were lengthening into evening. Seeing her standing in the window made his heart ache because he wasn’t sure he had the words to fix this.
He knew he needed to say the right thing but for the life of him he had no idea what that was. She expected to be lied to by someone she loved. She’d admitted that so he guessed he’d fulfilled that in her mind. But he wasn’t like her parents. He hadn’t kept something vital about her from her.
“You know this isn’t like your mom and dad.”
“I know that, Red,” she said, turning around and he thought it looked like she might have been crying but the closer she got to him the less sure he was of that.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry that I’m mad or sorry you didn’t tell me sooner?” she asked.
“That you’re mad. I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t know how to talk to you about it. I don’t have a big family that I can discuss issues like this with. You’re used to going to your mom and dad with your problems. I’m not. My dad is more the kind of guy who doesn’t like to talk. I have Braden who’s like a brother and that’s it. I can’t change who I am and fit into the mold of the man you want me to be,” he said. “I’m never going to do that.”
“Fair enough,” she said. “And for the record I never asked you to be anything other than honest.”
He stood up facing her. “For the record I have been.”
“I guess you have,” she said.
“I tried to tell you when we had dinner down by the river, but you said you didn’t need to know what I was discussing with the lawyer, remember?”
“Don’t throw that back in my face. You had given me something—never mind—that doesn’t matter. You’re right, I stopped you, but to be fair I had no clue you had a daughter. Do you have more kids?”
“Hell.”
“Exactly. Are there more surprises? You don’t know and neither do I,” she said. “I’m going to go home. The house is gorgeous, Red. I’m sure you and your daughter will be very happy here.”
“Emma.”
She just brushed past him and kept on walking. He was tempted to let her go but he loved her. And she loved him. She’d said it. And Emma didn’t lie.
He caught her arm gently and stopped her. “I’m sorry. For all of it. I love you and I’m not ready to let you go.”
“I love you too,” she said, crying. “But I can’t live with this—I don’t know how. It’s not just you who has flaws, Red. I have them too.”
She tugged her arm free and walked out of the library and his house. He stood there in the room he’d built for her, feeling the emptiness of her, as he heard her car start and she drove away.
He wanted to go after her, but he needed time and so did she. He hoped that time would show him how to find a way back to Emma. But she’d hurt him too by leaving. She’d admitted she had flaws. So did he. He’d thought about telling her so many times but in the end he’d done what he thought was right—waiting to tell her about Molly until Molly was his.
He understood why she was mad. He’d cast his line and come up empty. He wished he was a different man. A better man. But he knew who he was. He’d wanted to change so he’d be the perfect man for Emma. Maybe he was meant to be alone.
Fishing Takes Patience!
~A Texan’s Guide to Fishing
Chapter Fifteen
Emma drove straight past her parents’ house to the Dragonfly where she knew Delilah would be. She didn’t want to bring Amelia down and to be honest she and Cal were probably still celebrating the news of their baby. Emma hated that she was crying but there was a part of her that had built Red up the last few weeks to where he had seemed…
Perfect.
She knew that no one was perfect. Hell, she wasn’t perfect herself but in her mind, he’d taken on epic proportions with his muscular build, easy smile and sexy way of moving. He just seemed to have everything going for him.
She knew in the rational part of her mind that he hadn’t needed to tell her he had a daughter until today. But oh, sweet Jesus, he had a daughter. She pulled her car into one of the empty parking spaces on Main Street.
Red had a little girl.
If ever there was a man who would be a good father, it was Red. He’d always been taking care of everyone and everything. He was just that kind of guy. Probably Emma guessed because his own family had left him to raise himself. She knew he hadn’t minded; he was so well adjusted and there were many who wouldn’t have been. But this was Red.
And he had a daughter.
She hated that her reaction had made him doubt that she wasn’t overjoyed that he had a child. That news must have knocked him on his ass. It sure had her. She took a deep breath and then pulled her phone out.
Emma: I just want to say I’m so happy you have found your daughter and that you will get the chance to raise her. This wasn’t about her.
She tossed her phone in her bag and didn’t look at it when it pinged because she was still mad at Red. Later when she calmed down, she’d be able to read whatever it was he texted her but right now she needed her anger to keep her from really breaking down. She noticed Lancey and Finn walking toward her car and she definitely didn’t want to talk to them, so she gestured to her wrist and waved, as she put the car in reverse.
She hoped they thought she had to be someplace else as she carefully backed onto Main Street and then drove over to the Dragonfly. The parking lot was almost full and as soon as she opened her door to walk up to the restaurant, she could hear the sound of live music from the large porch seating area that was built up over the river. The fairy lights in the trees back there twinkled as well.
All of it just made Emma a little bit sadder. She should go home and leave Delilah to her busy dinner service. She knew how much work her sister ha
d going during service but at the same time she needed her sister. She walked around to the kitchen door that opened to the back of the restaurant and two of Delilah’s staff were having a smoke break on the path that led up there. They waved to her and she waved back, realizing that for everyone life was still normal.
She had to remember that she’d had a cosmic shift when she’d realized that Red had been hiding something so huge from her. But to everyone else it was Sunday evening. A little bit of perspective might help her, she thought. But her heart still hurt.
She got as far as the back door and saw Delilah chewing out one of the line cooks and Emma thought maybe tonight wasn’t a good time for her to be coming to Dee with her problems, but her sister saw and waved her into the kitchen.
“Don’t do it again,” she said to the man she’d been talking to and then turned to walk over to Emma.
“Red texted me,” she said. “I really am slammed tonight but I have my assistant coming in and she’s going to take over the line.”
“You don’t have to,” Emma said, surprised Red had texted Delilah. How had he known she’d come here?
“I do have to,” Delilah said, giving her a big hug. “I’m sorry. I know you are hurting, and I will do whatever I can to help you.”
“What did Red tell you?” she asked.
“Just that he screwed up and you needed someone to talk to,” Delilah said. “Go sit out back by the river at our table. I’ll send down some food and is it wine or moonshine tonight?”
“Moonshine,” Emma said.
“I’ve got a bottle of Memaw’s in the freezer just for a night like this. And we’re closed tomorrow so as soon as Hannah gets here I’m off the clock.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out,” Emma said.
Delilah punched her in the shoulder. “Stop. Of course, I’m sure. Didn’t you drive all the way to Dallas for me? Sit in my apartment with me for three days when I was too humiliated to leave it?”
“I did,” Emma said. “That’s what sisters do.”
“That’s right. All sisters, Em. Even the baby of the family,” Delilah said, hugging her close.
Emma went down to the table and a few minutes later Delilah showed with drinks, food and ready to listen. But once her sister was seated across from her Emma realized she didn’t know what to say.
“Red’s an ass,” Delilah said. “Am I right?”
Emma nodded. But Red wasn’t an ass. He was a man. Flaws, she thought, trying to remind herself that flaws were what had attracted her to him in the first place. He wasn’t like everyone else.
“No. I don’t know. It might be me. Red has a kid. He just found out about her in January and didn’t say anything until tonight. He’s getting custody of her and she’s moving here,” Emma said.
“Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting. Why didn’t he say anything before now?”
She didn’t know for sure. “I guess he didn’t trust me.”
*
Red wasn’t the kind of man to chase after a woman. He never had been. He’d seen his mom leave too many times. He knew when a woman made up her mind to go…she was leaving. He’d run through the options of where Emma might go when she left his house and the only person he could think of was Delilah.
She wouldn’t want to go to Amelia who was celebrating her pregnancy or her friends. And he’d been fairly certain she wouldn’t go to her parents. So, he’d texted Delilah and gave her a heads-up so that if Emma didn’t show up, Delilah would go to her.
He knew there wasn’t a physical pain associated with a broken heart, but he was in pain. He left his house and walked down to the river. He stood there on the dock he’d built and watched the water flowing. Remembered his father’s advice from when he could first remember his mom leaving them. That certain women were like the river, always flowing and changing and a man had to enjoy the beauty while he could.
Red bent his head down and felt tears burning in his eyes. This day…he’d come so close to having everything. To having the secret dream of his heart and then he’d lost it.
Had he been too cautious? He really couldn’t say. What if he’d lost Molly and had been banned from ever seeing her? How would telling Emma have helped that?
He heard a truck in the driveway. One thing about being out this far was that there were no other buildings and sound really carried. He walked back up to the house, half hoping it was Emma coming back to give him a second chance. To give their love a second chance, but he doubted that.
She’d been hurt, deeply hurt, and he had known she would be. He’d messed up big-time and he knew it. But he hadn’t figured out any other way to deal with the situation.
He walked around the side of his house and saw that it was Braden. He was leaning against the side of his truck, just waiting.
“So…”
“So?”
“Delilah texted me and told me to get out here. You needed me,” Braden said.
Small-town living.
“Emma and I broke up,” Red said.
“Didn’t y’all just get together?” Braden asked. “I mean I know you’ve been seeing each other in secret but was it going public?”
“No. Got time for some tequila?”
“Yes. I’m staying the night and I brought the tequila. Do you have beds or do I need to bring my sleeping bag?”
“I’ve got beds and a bunch of furniture.”
“Good. Let’s get to it,” Braden said. “I’m sorry, Red. I thought you two were going to be solid.”
“Me too,” Red said. “But I didn’t plan for all contingencies.”
“I’m not going to even pretend I know what that means,” Braden said.
They settled on the back porch under the big ceiling fans with the bottle and two shot glasses.
“What spooked her?” Braden asked after fifteen minutes of drinking and not talking.
“I got custody of Molly,” Red said. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted to let Emma know first.”
“Congratulations, bro. You shouldn’t have had to jump through that many hoops, but I guess it just proved to her grandparents how serious you were about being a father,” Braden said. “So, Emma didn’t think you’d get her?”
“I hadn’t mentioned Molly to her until today,” Red said.
“Dude.”
“I know. But what if I never got custody of Molly? The truth is I had a one-night stand with a woman whose last name I didn’t know, and she had a kid. I just couldn’t figure out how bringing that up was going to make me fit into the guy I was trying to be for her,” Red said. Hearing it out loud made him realize that there might have been a part of him that hadn’t felt like he deserved Emma.
Which ticked him off because he’d been sure he was fishing for her. That he was the one on the shore casting his line, finding the right bait and the right spot, but in reality, he might have been the fish. Swimming around trying to tempt someone into wanting him.
He knew it might have been the tequila and just his own depression from having her leave the way she had. Until Emma he’d always been the one to leave. He liked that—it gave him a feeling of being in control even though he was still alone. He controlled why he was alone. He knew that a lot of that had to do with his mom. He’d had to figure out how to adjust to her being gone.
She’d left to do something that mattered to her. She’d even explained to him that when he cried it made it harder for her to go and do a job that very few women in the world were able to do. She’d been one of the first women Michelin-starred sommeliers.
“It’s okay. You were trying to do the best you could. Emma will see that when she has time to cool down,” Braden said. “She’s got a good heart.”
A good heart that had been broken by a family secret and the lies her parents had kept. He understood them and he knew that Emma had as well, but she’d built a barrier about these kinds of things and he’d broken her rule.
She didn’t have too many standards that s
he wanted in a man, he realized. She’d tolerate anything but a person she loved lying to her. Red had his own rule: don’t give a woman you love a reason to leave. Yet he’d broken that one.
“I built her a library, Bray. And she still left,” Red said at last, taking another shot of tequila and trying to pretend that it didn’t matter.
But they both knew it did. Braden asked him about Molly and Red showed his friend the pictures he’d taken of her.
Red knew his life wasn’t over, that he wasn’t going to be alone again now that he had Molly, but his heart would always miss Emma and think of her as the one who got away.
He couldn’t shake that thought for the rest of the night.
*
“I can’t believe he has a kid,” Emma said. Two weeks later at breakfast Red had texted her and said that he was meeting Molly in Whiskey River. Did she want to go? He’d reached out to her. It was an olive branch and she knew she should take it, but she was still hurt. And a little mad at herself for being hurt.
She was a little afraid that she might have had a knee-jerk reaction to Red that stemmed from her childhood. A part of her felt like the girl who had found comfort and escape in the pages of books where every story worked out. She felt melodramatic even thinking that, but it was true.
But this time was different. She hadn’t been able to lose herself in her beloved books—not with Red. She thought about him all the time. Remembered him as the only kid sitting alone at the Mother’s Day tea in third grade until Braden’s mom had invited him over to sit with them.
Remembered how he’d been plain about his flaws from the beginning and how he’d built that gorgeous house for a daughter that the courts might not have allowed him to have.
How he’d remembered her love of Because of Winn-Dixie and he’d re-created a scene from it for her.
She loved him.
And for the first time she saw the line between lies or imperfections and love. It wasn’t that people in love lied, it was that they lied to protect the ones they loved. Red wasn’t lying to make himself seem like a better man but to protect himself from being hurt. It wasn’t hard for her to see now that she’d had a few weeks to mull everything over that he hadn’t been as strong about his mom leaving as he’d always acted. And maybe her leaving…had hurt him deeply?
Red Hot Texan Page 14
