Cullen didn’t move, not a muscle. As seconds ticked, the look on Dodge’s face grew more furious, a rage she wouldn’t let him unleash on Cul.
She planted a hand on Cul’s shoulder. Hesitantly, as if he didn’t want to lose sight of his father, he angled his head to meet her stare.
“Sweetheart, I’m okay. Go inside. I’ll see you after I’m done talking to your dad, okay?”
He scanned her face.
“I’m fine. I’ll be in soon.”
Lynn stepped forward, standing to her left, and grabbed hold of Cullen’s hand. “Cul, come on. Let’s go.”
Finally, Cullen nodded. He also glared at his father but then strode toward the compound with Lynn. Once the door into the compound shut behind Lynn and Cullen, Dodge spoke again.
“And now, you’re turning my kid against me. Fucking fantastic. I think I finally found a good woman and she’s a manipulative, loose bitch like the rest of them.”
Audible gasps sounded.
Her jaw dropped. Heart squeezed; pain radiated out of her chest to her limbs leaving no part unmarked.
Head spinning, it hit her she didn’t recognize this man because she didn’t know this man. She fooled herself thinking she did. Exceptionally stupid and reckless considering after three years, she hadn’t known Mitchell. Further, she knew Dodge could be harsh, and still, she let herself believe. Worst judgment call she’d made in her life, and yet, she didn’t regret it because of Cullen, the beautiful boy she loved who’d stood up to his jerk father to defend her.
She was any other woman, she’d lose her cool and create a bigger scene than Dodge had. He deserved worse, but she was smart enough to know if she responded now, even if to defend herself, he’d hurl more undeserving, hurtful insults her way. She knew when to cut her losses and it was time to do that.
“I should go,” she said, surprising herself with how strong her voice sounded. She hoped and prayed it’d stay that way until alone.
“I’ll drive you.”
A hand grasped her elbow. Lex shifted looking to her right. Em stood there glaring at Dodge. Mia stood to Em’s other side. She, too, shooting daggers his way.
A small weight lifted. At least, she’d made friends, good friends she wouldn’t lose.
She released a breath. “Thanks, Em. I appreciate it.”
“Just like that? You’re gonna fuckin’ go?”
She snapped her head his way. For a single moment, she let herself feel a little bit of anger so she could say what she had to without bursting in to tears. “You’ve made your opinion of me clear.”
She scanned the lot. She’d felt their eyes, but now, she knew everyone was looking their way. Then she met his stare. “To everyone. I don’t know what you expect me to do.”
With those last words, she sidestepped him and walked away. She didn’t look back, not once.
The moment she opened the door leading into the compound, Cullen’s body slammed in to her. Instantly, she snaked her arms around him. When she drew away, she knelt in front of him and clasped his hands in hers. “You and I will always be friends, Cul.”
She didn’t have to say that his father and she were over, but Cullen understood.
His chest rose and fell quickly. Then his chin trembled, and his beautiful, dark eyes watered.
Mind-numbing.
Heartbreaking.
Gut-wrenching.
She released his hands to cup his face. “Always, Cul. We’re neighbors and friends. Anytime you like, you can come over, and I’ll make you cookies and read to you, okay?”
A tear slipped out and skidded down his face.
She wiped it away, threaded her fingers through his thick hair, leaned in, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Love you, Cul. Always.”
To her disbelief, he whispered, “L-love you.”
She held his gaze, forced a smile, and prayed with every ounce of hope, she wouldn’t lose him. Heart pounding, eyes searing, anguish slicing her insides apart, she walked away from him.
It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do.
****
Lex pushed open the door to her house after a mostly quiet car ride. Mostly because Em tried to advise her, tried to get her to talk, and offered to be there if she needed to vent. Lex liked Em, liked the old ladies and wanted to keep them as friends, but she wanted them to know too, and made it clear to Em, that she and Dodge were over. After, she thanked Em, offered her a smile, one she knew was sad, stepped out of the car, and walked onto her porch.
Inside her home, she locked the door, leaned against it, and stared blankly at her hardwood floors thinking she was glad she hadn’t started demo on her pink bathroom. She spent so much time with Dodge and Cullen, she hadn’t put time in to deciding on a contractor. The bathroom was untouched and dated, but as a working bathroom, she’d sell her home much faster.
She hated to move but didn’t think she had another choice. No way she’d let him continue to demean her and no doubt with her living across the street, he’d do that every chance he had.
Hurt, hopeless, and humiliated, a rush of emotion overwhelmed her. She held her own for as long as she could, refusing to blink until she couldn’t see through the tears welling her eyes. After that first wave, no stopping them. The dam broke.
Lex didn’t let herself cry for long. She wiped her face, packed a bag, and drove, having no idea where she’d go but knowing she had to get away.
Chapter Twenty-One
Dodge watched Lex walk away until she was out of sight. Then he dropped his head, kicked a rock, and ran his hands through his hair. Heart pounding loud and hard against his ribs, body vibrating, he stood frozen staring at the ground, feeling the heat of everyone’s eyes, not giving a fuck about anything except his kid who was no doubt devastated by the turn of events.
Lifting his head, he caught Mia’s glare. He clenched his jaw and without thinking better of it, barked, “You got something to say, say it.”
Mia took two steps toward him. “I don’t think anyone needs to tell you what you did to Lex is fucked.”
“That’s none of your fuckin’ business, Mia.”
She quirked a brow. “You made it everyone’s business, Dodge.”
Fuck women. They only saw what they wanted to see.
“She made it everyone’s business.”
Mia crossed her arms over her chest.
He cocked his head and quirked a brow. “Missed that?” Clamping his jaw shut, he then spit, “Ask. Trick.”
“You gettin’ in my woman’s face?”
He twisted his upper body and caught Stone’s hard gaze.
No one fucked with Mia; her old man defended her no matter what. Considering Mia always had something to say, Stone stepped in a lot.
He fisted his hands, his nails bit into his palms. “No, brother, your woman’s getting in mine.” Then because he didn’t need any more problems, he walked away.
Dodge entered the compound with one thought on his mind, his boy. He combed the place, yelling Cullen’s name. It took a while, a good fifteen minutes before he found him and only because of Lynn, who’d told him Cul was hiding under the desk in the surveillance room, a room Cul knew he shouldn’t be in.
Dodge strode inside. His gaze, not on the desk, series of monitors, computer, chair, but on his kid. Cul had his thighs pressed to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs, and his head bent and resting on his knees.
He closed the distance between them and squatted. “I know you’re upset, but we’re gonna be fine, yeah?”
Cullen didn’t look up, didn’t respond.
“Dodge.”
He looked over his shoulder.
Trick, the last brother he wanted to see, stood at the entrance to the room. “Gotta talk.”
He closed his eyes and grinded his teeth. “I’m busy.” He shifted back toward Cul, but before he made it, he heard Trick again.
“Can’t wait.”
Turning back around, he glared.
Trick t
ook this as a chance to explain. “You told Mia I had something to do with you getting pissed at Lex?”
The brother had the nerve to play it like nothing happened? Lex was beautiful, but was she worth losing his brother, his club?
Dodge’s jaw went hard. He stood, fully turned to Trick, and strode toward him. Trick moved but not fast enough. Dodge bumped in to his shoulder on his way out. When he heard the door close, he faced him.
Trick raised his hands, palms out. “You gotta problem—”
“Nope.” He jerked his head side to side. “I don’t gotta problem ’cause I just got rid of my problem. She’s free now to be yours.”
Trick, eyes widening, dropped his hands and reared back. “What the fuck?”
He clenched his jaw so hard it ached. “I saw you, brother. I saw you with her.”
“A lot of people saw us seeing as we were sitting at a picnic table outside. Yet you’re pissed saying you and Lex are over, and Mia’s all up in my shit saying I had something to do with it. I got no clue what’s going on, but I hear you and Lex have been spending a lot of time together and that you and Cul are happy, so I’m asking again, what the fuck I gotta do with this shit?”
Trick took a step in his direction. “You wanted shot of her, and you’re using me as an excuse? I got your back, brother, like always, but you gotta let me in on that so I don’t look like it’s news to me when Mia and the rest of the old ladies come asking.”
He took a menacing step. “This isn’t a joke, Trick. This is my life—”
Trick shook his head. “You saw us talking. She was sitting alone looking tense. I get that and I get why. I knew you were busy at the grill. I thought I’d do you a solid and make her feel welcome. I went over to her with a beer, told her some stories so she’d loosen up, relax, and hopefully realize we’re all just people despite the cuts. That’s all I did, talk. She barely said a word.”
Trick shrugged. “I did something else, you tell me now.”
His gut clenched. “She was…”
Trick lifted a brow. “She was?”
He swallowed. “Laughing…and I—” It’d pissed him off, bad, and he’d reacted the worst possible way, but all she’d done was laugh. He just assumed.
Shit.
His face flamed, stomach rolled.
Trick shook his head. “We were just talking. She wasn’t flirting or anything like that, brother. Honest.”
He dropped his head and dragged a hand through his hair, swallowing the bile rising in the back of his throat. “I know.”
Then and there, he did. Lex wasn’t that type of woman. He’d just gotten so jealous. That jealousy quickly turned to something else—anger so much of it, he hadn’t been able to think straight. He’d never felt that in his life and he never imagined he’d feel it because of a woman.
“I just fuckin’ lost it.”
“She isn’t Lilliam. You know that, right?”
He nodded. “Lilliam deserved it and never, not once did I lose my shit with her. I lost it with her for other reasons but not for this.” He shook his head. “With Lex, no reason to and I fuckin’ lost it.”
“’Cause you care.”
Obvious. Still, he found the need to point out, “I cared about Lilliam too.”
“You cared ’cause she’s the mother of your kid, and you didn’t want your kid seeing her being a tap, but you didn’t care about her.”
Trick made a point, and yet, Trick didn’t know Lilliam like he did. Even when she got what she wanted—married him, a brother—she never gave him anything to like. He tried to make it work, tried to make her happy. She just wasn’t. He couldn’t do anything right, ever. She was manipulative and cruel too. No other way to explain why she didn’t give a shit about their boy, why she got off on hitting on his brothers in front of him. By the point she started doing it, he knew nothing he did or said would make her stop, make her change, make her give three fucks about him, but he kept her around because he wanted his boy to have his mother, because he prayed she’d wake up one day and give a shit about Cullen.
Yet Lex wasn’t Lilliam. He hadn’t known her long, but he knew this.
The magnitude of how bad he messed up hit him full-force. Shit feeling knowing he’d fucked up something good. Worse, knowing he hurt someone he cared about for no reason.
He had to fix it. He just didn’t know if he could. The deed was done. He had a kid and a nasty soon-to-be ex-wife, and what he’d done was fucked. Lex cared about him. He knew that, but they’d been dating for a few months. They were at a point where it could easily end, and both of them could go their separate ways. Besides, a beautiful woman like her could have any man she wanted. How to convince her to forgive him and give him another shot?
He had no clue, but he had to try.
He sidestepped past Trick, strode into the room, and crouched at the desk in front of Cullen. His boy hadn’t moved.
“I fucked up, Cul, with Lex, with you too.”
Cullen’s head snapped up. When he met his red-eyed gaze, Dodge swore his heart split in two.
He extended his hand, reaching for his boy. Cul flinched away, stopping him in his tracks. It hurt, but he didn’t let it show. He did there was a chance Cul would feel bad about it, and he didn’t want that. He deserved it anyway.
“I’m gonna fix it. I promise you I won’t let you lose Lex.”
Looking away, he released a pained breath before he once again met his eyes. “I’m proud of you, Cul. I always am, but today, I’m prouder than I’ve ever been ’cause you stood up for someone you love and took care of her. That makes a good man a great one. You aren’t a man yet just a kid, but one day you’ll be one. It’s good you start learning now.”
Cullen’s face softened, not much, but enough Dodge knew his son understood.
He stood, turned, exited the room, and found Lynn standing just outside.
She bit the side of her lip. “Is he okay?”
“He will be. Gotta ask—”
She smiled. “Don’t worry, go. I’ll watch Cul.”
He nodded, thanked her, hopped in his SUV, and headed for Lex’s house. He hadn’t been slow about it either, but when he arrived, she was gone. Only one place she’d go.
An hour later, he checked parking spaces outside her sister’s townhouse in San Francisco. Lex’s car wasn’t there meaning she wasn’t either, but he had a feeling she’d show eventually because Lex and her sister were tight, so he parallel parked at the end of the block and waited.
The first hour flew by, thinking about what he’d say and how he’d say it. By the end of the second hour, he was out of sorts, a mess of nerves and truth be told, worried. She wasn’t home or at her sister’s, and he had no clue where she could’ve gone. He hadn’t bothered to call her because he didn’t think she’d answer. As he thought this, he spotted her car turning onto the street. He watched her parallel park, exit her car, duffle bag and purse in hand, and watched her go inside her sister’s place. Then he forced himself to wait a full ten minutes before he followed.
Taking a deep breath, he knocked.
The door parted.
Face blotchy, eyes swollen and red, makeup smeared, and still, she looked stunning.
His stomach soured.
Her eyes widened then narrowed. “W-what are you doing here?”
“You weren’t home. Figured you were with your sister.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Right. It doesn’t matter—”
“I need to talk to you.”
“You did plenty of talking earlier.”
He had, and she hadn’t said a word, not even to defend herself. The shame of what he’d done choked him, but the need to fix what he’d destroyed overrode it.
“I fucked up. I know I did. Just let me make it up to you—”
“No.”
He’d been so sure she’d hear him out. Maybe that’s really what he’d been doing those hours he’d waited, convincing himself she’d listen, that she’d forgive him.<
br />
He squeezed his eyes shut then parted them. “You’re not even gonna let me explain?”
“What difference would it make?”
“We’ve had months of happy, Lex. Don’t know about you, but I’ve had months of perfect and I’ve never treated you like that, never wanted to, never even dreamed of it. Don’t you want to know why?”
It’d buy him time, he hoped.
After a long pause, she released a breath. “Fine. Explain.”
He looked around. “Out here?”
She nodded.
She’d listen, but she’d made up her mind. She was done with him, with them. He’d had a chance, she would’ve let him in. He knew this because he knew her. She liked her privacy, and right then, she didn’t care about making a scene because in her mind, after that day, he’d never show there again.
No choice, he had to convince her, an added pressure he didn’t need.
Heart racing, he swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry. I was out of line. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, but I saw you with Trick. He was talking, and you were laughing a lot and…” He shook his head. “I got jealous, and I fuckin’ lost it.”
She let her head fall slightly, gaze drifting behind him. Her expression softened so subtlety if he hadn’t known her well, he would’ve missed it.
His chance, the one he needed to break through.
“Cullen’s mother came on to my brothers. She did it all the time and she did it to rile me. It never worked ’cause I didn’t care. That’s not what you did, but ’cause it’s you, ’cause I care about you, I got jealous and pissed.”
Her stare shot to his and narrowed. “So you’re saying that technically, this isn’t your fault because the woman you impregnated and married flirted with your friends to get your attention because she knew you didn’t care about her?”
“I—”
She tilted her head. “This is supposed to make me feel better?”
“I’m trying to explain why I acted—”
“Like an asshole?”
He reared back. She never cussed. He did a lot and on a weekly basis, she explained why he shouldn’t.
“Except your explanation makes you look like a bigger asshole. The poor woman you knocked up and married, just so you could say you did the right thing, knew you didn’t care about her, so she flirted with your friends to get you to show her some kind of emotion, some kind of affection. If she went to those lengths, I can only sympathize with her.”
Riding Hard (Hell Ryders MC Book 4) Page 19
