No one spoke right away. Then Winnie sat up taller. “But Daddy, just because I sleep every night with Ned right by me doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It’s a different kind of love.”
I looked at her in surprise. “You’re right, Winn. It is a different kind of love.”
“And you have been in the worst mood all week long,” Millie said. “We really can’t take it anymore.”
“We love her too, Daddy.” Felicity smiled hopefully, clasping her hands beneath her chin. “Please go get her back.”
“What if I try and it doesn’t work out?” I asked. “Are you going to hate me?”
“No,” Winnie said emphatically. “We’ll always love you.”
“But if you don’t at least try to get her back, we’ll be really mad for a long time,” Millie informed me seriously.
I looked at all three of them and thought my heart was going to burst. Was it possible I could be the dad they needed and the man Frannie deserved all at once? Could I be trusted not to mess up four lives? Was it fair to ask Frannie to accept all of us and every ounce of emotional baggage we came with? Could I ever be worth it?
I had no fucking clue, but right then I decided I had to try. “Okay. Will you help me?”
“Of course!” Millie jumped up and clapped her hands.
“Yes!” Winnie bounced excitedly.
Felicity hopped to her feet and reached into her pocket. “But Dad! You better take my lucky stone.” She fished it out and handed it to me.
Rising to my feet, I took it from her and closed my hand around it. “Thanks. I’ll take all the luck I can get. But you know what, girls? Right now I feel like the luckiest man alive because I get to be your dad.”
“I’ll give you a hug now,” offered Felicity.
I opened my arms and they all swooped in, and I thanked God for all three of my smart, sweet, loving girls.
“Can we go now?” Millie asked.
I took a breath, nervous and slightly sick to my stomach. But the girls were right—I loved her, I was miserable without her, and if she’d promise to forgive me for all the times I was less than she needed me to be, I’d promise to be open to anything in the future.
“Fuck, you guys.” I looked at all three of their faces. “I’m scared.”
“I know, Dad.” Millie took one of my hands. “But you can do this.”
Winnie took the other. “We believe in you.”
“We won’t even make you put a dollar in the swear jar until we get back,” Felicity said as she took off running for the back door. “Come on, let’s go!”
It didn’t occur to me that I hadn’t changed my shirt until I was parking the car across the street from Coffee Darling. I turned off the engine, looked down, and groaned.
“What?” Millie asked from the back seat.
“I should have changed my clothes. I’m wearing …” I pulled the shirt away from my chest. “Pink glitter.”
“Zip up your coat all the way,” Felicity suggested.
“No!” Millie was adamant. “The shirt is a statement about love and healing hearts. Plus Frannie helped make it. He should show her that he’s proud to wear it.”
I glanced back at her. “You’re pretty smart for eleven.”
She smiled. “I’m almost twelve.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. “Don’t remind me. Okay, let’s do this.”
“Daddy, what are you going to say?” Winnie asked, her hand in mine as we crossed the street.
“I have no idea.”
“I think you should tell her you’re sorry for being a big fat jerk,” Felicity offered as we reached the curb.
I gave her a dirty look. “Thanks.”
“And maybe you should beg for her forgiveness,” Millie suggested. “On your knees or something. That’s what they do in the movies.”
“I think I’ll stay on my feet.”
“Tell her she’s pretty,” Winnie said.
“Tell her she’s perfect!” Felicity shouted.
“Tell her you love her.” Millie grasped the door handle to Coffee Darling. “That’s important. She needs to hear you say that.”
I shook my head. “I’m going to die.”
Winnie giggled. “Not, you’re not.”
Millie looked me right in the eye. “You’re not going to die. You’re going to fix this and get her back—for all of us.”
She pulled on the door handle. It didn’t open. She yanked again, more vehemently, putting two hands into it. “Daddy, it’s locked.”
“We’re too late,” Winnie moaned.
“The hell we are.” Seeing someone with a broom moving around inside, I pounded on the glass with my fists.
I wasn’t leaving here without making this right.
Frannie
“Frannie? There’s someone here to see you. Several people, actually.”
I looked up from my batter to see Natalie’s husband Miles in the doorway to the kitchen, broom in his hand and amused expression on his face.
“To see me?”
“That’s what they said. A guy and some kids.” His mouth hooked up on one side. “And the guy is wearing some kind of sparkly T-shirt. You better come up front.”
Sparkly T-shirt? Something jumped around in my stomach. It had to be Mack and the girls. What were they doing here?
With my hands over my fluttering belly, I followed Miles out to the shop and stopped behind the counter. Sure enough, Mack and the kids stood on the other side of it talking to Natalie, and Mack’s open coat revealed the shirt Millie had made for the fashion show.
“Hi,” I said warily.
“Hi.” Mack took a step forward, then stopped. Opened his mouth and closed it again. He met my eyes, and I saw in them the apology I wanted. The warmth I craved. The fear that he’d messed this up too much already, and it was too late to get me back.
But I wasn’t going to save him. He had to go after what he wanted. He had to save himself.
Seconds ticked by.
Miles stood off to one side with his hands atop the broom handle and his chin on his hands, watching the drama unfold. As the tension grew thicker, Natalie looked from Mack to me and back again—I’d confided in her enough this week that she had to know what was going on.
“Dad,” muttered Millie under her breath from behind him. “Say something.”
“I’m trying.” Mack cleared his throat. “This isn’t easy. Give me a second.”
“Take your time,” Miles said.
“Miles, maybe we should give them some privacy?” Natalie gave her husband a look and jerked her head toward the kitchen.
“But Nat, something good is about to happen,” said Miles. “I can tell. A dude doesn’t wear a glittery T-shirt for nothing. This is big.”
Mack looked down at his shirt and winced. “Um.”
“Dad.” Felicity moved forward and gave Mack a push in my direction. “Come on, already.”
“Okay.” Mack recovered his balance and stood with his feet apart, hands fisted at his sides, chest forward. He took a breath. “Frannie, I came here today to tell you something—well several things. First, that I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, and I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”
Miles nodded appreciatively. “Taking all the blame. Nice move.”
“Miles!” Natalie hissed from across the room.
“What? He needs encouragement,” Miles said. He looked at Mack. “Go on, man. You’re doing fine.”
Mack nodded. “Thanks,” he said, tentatively moving a little closer to me. “Not only did I hurt you, but you were right: I did it for a stupid reason—I was afraid.” He shook his head. “Fuck, I’m still afraid. I feel like there’s no way I can do this, be the best father possible and be the guy you want. There’s only one of me, and half the time, I have no fucking idea what I’m doing.”
“I hear that, brother.” Miles nodded. “Being a dad is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can’t imagine what it would be like facing that job alone.”
/> “But you don’t have to face it alone.” Finally speaking up, I came around the counter and stood in front of him. “That’s the thing, Mack. I don’t expect you to divide your time, to try to be all things to all people at once.”
“I know you don’t,” he said, taking my hands. “Just like I know I’m going to fail you sometimes, and the kids sometimes, and myself sometimes. I’ve never been a perfect man, but I felt like I had to be the perfect father, to make up for what they lost. And I thought that meant I had to put my own needs aside.” His eyes shone. “But I can’t.”
“You don’t have to.” I squeezed his hands. “We can make it work, Mack. I know you’re not perfect, and I know being a good dad is your most important priority, but you deserve to be happy, too.” I looked over at the girls. “Right girls?”
“Right,” they said.
“And he wasn’t happy at all this week,” Millie went on.
“He was grouchy,” said Winnie.
“And mean,” added Felicity.
“Come on, give him a break, girls.” Miles gestured toward Mack. “He was lonely. He’d walked away from Frannie because he thought he was doing the right thing, and he had to spend some time being miserable to realize what an idiot he’d been.” He looked at Mack. “Am I right?”
Mack nodded. “Yeah. And it didn’t take long.” He met my eyes again. “I don’t know where we end up. I don’t know how all these pieces of my life are going to fit together. I don’t know how you’re going to put up with all my shit.”
“Do you have a swear jar?” I heard Millie whisper to Natalie.
“But I do know,” Mack went on, his expression confident for the first time, “that my life is much better with you in it, and if you’re willing to take this crazy journey with me—the back seat already full—I’m willing to see where this road leads.”
My eyes filled with tears. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes.”
“Because he loves you!” Winnie cried out. “He told us!”
“Winnie!” her older sisters admonished, Felicity hitting her on the shoulder.
“What? He diiiid.” Winnie rubbed her arm. “He should tell her.”
“It’s okay,” I said, embarrassed for Mack to have this moment take place in front of a crowd. “This is more than—”
“She’s right.” Mack stood taller, his broad chest straining against his glittery shirt. He looked me right in the eye. “I told them, and I’ll tell you. I love you, Frannie. I don’t know if I’m any good at it. God knows I failed in the past. But I love you. And when you love someone …” He glanced over at the girls and gave them a wink before meeting my eyes again. “You want to be with them. I want to be with you.”
“Aw, dude.” Miles clutched his heart. “You’re killing me.”
“Kiss her!” Winnie shouted, clapping her hands. “And not in the closet this time!”
With a smile tugging at his lips, Mack leaned forward and kissed me, softly but not quickly. Someone—maybe Natalie?—sighed.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Millie said. “Don’t get gross.”
Laughing, we broke apart and I opened my arms. “Come here, girls. Group hug.”
They came running toward us, Mack scooped Winnie up, and we all wrapped our arms around each other. “Thank you, girls,” I told them, choking over the words. “This means everything to me. I want to be with your dad, but I want to be with you, too. I want us all to be together.”
“We love you too, Frannie,” Millie said. “You’re part of our family.”
Miles began slow clapping as he made his way over to us. “That was fucking beautiful,” he said.
“Miles! Watch your language!” his wife shouted.
“Oh, that’s okay,” said Felicity with a grin. “We’re used to it.”
Mack and the girls went home, and I promised to come by after work. I had orders for six dozen macarons that I had to get over to Cloverleigh for an event later tonight, but after that, I was free.
Miles left shortly after Mack did—the two had hit it off and promised to get together for beers soon—but Natalie stuck around to chat while I finished filling and boxing the pastries.
“I can’t believe he came here that way,” she said, shaking her head. “Are you totally in shock?”
“Pretty much. When I left his house yesterday, I was fairly certain things were done. He seemed unhappy but unwilling to budge.”
“Thank goodness for those girls, huh? What smart kids.” She laughed. “Every time I think about that little one yelling, ‘Because he loves you! He told us!’ I crack up.”
I smiled and placed a pale green cookie on top of the pistachio filling. “Winnie. She’s such a doll.”
“So you get along with them all?”
“A hundred percent. I know I can’t replace their mom, and there will probably come a day when I’ll side with their dad on something and they’ll hate me for it, but—”
“Welcome to being a parent,” she said. “Speaking of which.” She put both hands on her belly. “This one is all kinds of crazy this afternoon.”
I laughed. “It’s been that kind of day.”
Since I was nearly finished, I told her to go home and put her feet up, and volunteered to make sure everything was locked up tight for the night. As I loaded the boxes of macarons in my car and closed up the shop, I felt the most incredible sense of accomplishment. I had done this—gone after something I wanted for myself and made it happen.
And now I had Mack and the girls too. Was the road always going to be this smooth? No way. We’d probably never feel like we got enough time together. And there would be times, I was sure, that it would be me apologizing for letting him down. But we were in this together, and we were in love.
It was enough.
After dropping off the macarons, I ran up to my apartment and took a quick shower before heading over to Mack’s house. When I arrived, they were unpacking bags of Chinese takeout.
We ate sitting around the dining room table, each of us taking turns at the end of the meal reading our fortune cookies.
“Find beauty in ordinary things,” read Millie.
“You will live a happy life,” said Felicity.
“You will be hungry again in one hour,” said Mack.
As we laughed, Winnie handed me hers. “Can you read mine?”
“Sure,” I said. “It says, ‘When one door closes, another opens.’”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“Well, I think it means that you shouldn’t dwell on the bad stuff in life, because something good is about to come along.” I ruffled her hair.
“What does yours say, Frannie?” Felicity asked.
“Beware of single dads who can’t cook?” suggested Mack.
Millie snorted. “For real.”
I cracked mine open and read it aloud. “Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.”
“I like that,” said Winnie. “But what’s a willing heart?”
“A heart that’s open to anything,” I said as something occurred to me. “And guess what? When I was young, I had three open-heart surgeries. So I think mine is open for sure.” I winked at the little girl.
“So nothing is impossible for you,” Felicity said eagerly.
I shook my head and smiled. “Nope. Nothing.”
Later, after we’d watched a movie with the kids and put them to bed, Mack and I turned off the lights in the living room and snuck in a little time alone together.
“Are you sure this is okay?” I asked as he stretched out on the couch and pulled me on top of him.
“Positive.” He wrapped his arms around me and I lay with my body along the length of his, my head on his chest.
“This is nice,” I murmured, loving the sound of his heart against my ear.
“It is.” He kissed the top of my head. “Although I wish you were naked.”
I laughed. “Not with the kids in the house.”
“I know. But I’m goin
g to get impatient with this high school stuff pretty soon.”
“We have time.” I picked up my head and looked at him in the dark. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’m not either. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to rip your clothes off and fuck you senseless right now.”
“You’re so romantic.”
Laughing, he pulled me up his body and kissed my lips. “Sorry. But beneath my pink glittery heart T-shirt is an animal with a hairy chest and a hard-on.”
“Oh yeah?” Shifting to one side of him, I ran my hand down the front of his jeans. “What do you know? You’re right.”
He groaned as I rubbed the thickening bulge through the denim. “Are you sure we can’t sneak into my bedroom for a few minutes?”
I hesitated, and he sensed his opening.
“Won’t that feel so good inside you?” He grabbed my wrist and held my hand over his cock, pushing it against my palm. He kissed me, his tongue stroking my lips. “Don’t you want my mouth on you? We can be so quiet,” he coaxed, his voice low and tempting. “Come on. Let me make you feel good.”
“You’re terrible,” I whispered as his mouth moved down my throat and his hand snuck between my legs.
“I know. But I love you.”
My entire body hummed, and I closed my eyes. “I love you too.”
“So come to bed with me. I’ve missed you so much. And I promise I won’t always be so terrible—we’ll behave tomorrow night. Tonight, let’s give in.”
Of course I gave in.
And of course, he didn’t keep his promise, and we didn’t behave the next night either.
Or the night after that.
In fact, there were very few nights over the next several months when we were able to resist one another, and eventually, he started asking me to sleep over. We tried to hide it at first, sneaking me out before the girls got up, and we thought we were doing a pretty decent job until one Saturday night at the dinner table Winnie said, “Frannie should just move in here. Then she wouldn’t have to leave so early in the morning and she could make breakfast sometimes.”
“Totally,” Millie agreed.
I nearly choked, and Mack turned a shade of red I’d never seen before, but later we discussed it and realized they were right. We wanted to be together all the time, and it would make life easier if I lived at the house. I made sure that Mack talked it over with the girls when I wasn’t around, and he assured me that they were completely enthusiastic about the idea. “Not only are you a much better cook than me, but you know how to do all kinds of braids, you smell better, and you’re much more patient.”
Irresistible: Cloverleigh Farms Standalone Page 23
