by Brenda Novak
“Is it okay if I play with you guys?” she asked him.
He put down his glass. “Of course. But Atticus can be your partner. I’d better not start another game.”
Harper froze. He was leaving?
“Where are you going?” Jada asked, obviously as surprised as she was.
Tobias wouldn’t look at Jada anymore, either. “Home. With Carl at the house, who knows what might happen. I should get back.”
Maddox shifted uncomfortably. “But we were just about to start a game.”
“It won’t take Atticus long to get the drinks.”
“Tobias—” Maddox began, but Tobias talked over him by saying good-night. Then he walked out.
* * *
Tobias paced up and down the back alley of the Blue Suede Shoe. It was freezing outside and raining, but he was so numb he could hardly feel it. He was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what he should do. His first instinct was to go back inside. He hadn’t been very polite to Harper. He didn’t want her to think he was an asshole. But she’d caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to run into her, especially when he was with Atticus. He didn’t want her to be anywhere near Jada’s brother. Atticus’s wheelchair would raise questions. It always did. People were curious to find out what’d happened to him, and if Harper asked that question, the answer would instantly destroy any positive feelings she might have toward him, even the memory of their time together before that pocket dial.
“Shit,” he cursed and finally climbed into his truck. He should just leave. Why would he do anything else? He couldn’t expect her to understand that he hadn’t really intended to hurt anyone that night so many years ago. That he’d been only seventeen when he’d made the stupid decision to drop acid. That he didn’t even know what he was doing when he pulled the trigger. No one cared about the circumstances; the results were all that mattered.
He was better-off getting out of there and never talking to her again. And she was better-off not associating with him. She could get just about any guy she wanted; why would she ever want him?
Hoping to distract himself from the emotions churning in his gut, he turned up the music until sound thumped through the entire vehicle, and drove home. He’d barely walked into the house when his brother called.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Maddox demanded.
Tobias could hear the music from the Blue Suede Shoe in the background, even though his ears were still ringing from the classic rock tunes he’d been blasting in his truck. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why? I know you like her. I can tell.”
“What I feel doesn’t matter.” He tossed his keys on the counter. “It’s over between us—if there was ever anything to begin with.”
“That’s just it. She wouldn’t have made the attempt to hang out with you tonight if she didn’t want to be with you. It took guts to walk across that bar and approach you.”
“It didn’t mean anything. She was just being nice.”
“And you had to be rude?”
“I wasn’t rude! I didn’t want to be standing there when she asked why Atticus is in a wheelchair.”
Silence.
“So that’s it,” Maddox said at length.
Tobias clenched a fist in his hair. “Yeah, that’s it.”
“You haven’t told her.”
“Of course I haven’t told her! Would you? How do you tell someone about something like that?”
“You mean, how do you tell someone you want to think well of you.”
“Of course that’s what I mean.”
He heard his brother take a deep breath and then release it.
“Tobias, if you’re hoping this thing between you and Harper will turn into something, you’re going to have to come clean eventually.”
He turned on the TV and propped his feet on the coffee table. Fortunately, all had been quiet when he passed Uriah’s house. He was in no mood to deal with Carl, afraid of what he might do if he was provoked. “What are you talking about? You told me not to get my hopes up, remember?”
“I know, but...I like her. So does Jada.”
“How does that change anything? She’s leaving after Christmas.”
“Then what does it matter if she finds out?”
“I don’t want her to know if she doesn’t have to.”
“I think you might be selling her short.”
“In what way?”
“I believe she likes you more than you realize.”
Tobias pressed three fingers to his forehead. “Harper’s too good for me. You told me that yourself.”
“No, I didn’t. I said I didn’t want you to get hurt. But now...”
“Believe me, you were right the first time.”
“Either way, sometimes you have to take a risk.”
“Maddox, she’s Axel Devlin’s ex-wife. Axel Devlin. Almost every woman in America wants to be with him. He’s not only famous, he’s loaded. And the worst thing he’s probably ever encountered is a cold. Compare that to me. I’ve spent thirteen years behind bars, have had to watch my back, fight for my life, do things most men never have to. And you know how we grew up.” He stared down at the various nicks and gouges that marked his hands. “Even if she could get beyond what I did, I have too many battle scars.”
He heard Jada say something in the background.
“Jada says to tell you it’s Christmas,” Maddox said. “That means anything can happen.”
“Yeah, for people like Axel.”
“Maybe for you, too. Just so you know, once you walked away, Harper apologized for interrupting us, but we managed to convince her not to hurry back to her table.”
“So where is she now?”
“With her sister and her sister’s husband. She only played one quick game.”
“With you, Jada and Atticus.”
“Yes. And she never once asked how he lost the use of his legs. To be honest, she seemed much more worried about you than she did Atticus.”
“You don’t have to try to mollify me. I’m not a child.”
“I just want you to know how it went.”
“It doesn’t make any difference. Quit worrying. I’m okay. It’s all okay.”
“Tobias, you have a lot to offer. Don’t think you don’t. There’s no one more loyal, more willing to protect those he loves—”
“Stop. I told you I’m fine,” he said and disconnected.
With a sigh, Tobias turned the channel to SportsCenter, but he must’ve nodded off soon after he learned of the latest Clippers victory, because it was late when he opened his eyes again. For a moment he thought the television had awakened him. But then he heard a sound that let him know otherwise.
Someone was at the door.
15
Harper knew she had no business showing up at Tobias’s house, but ever since he’d walked out on her at the Blue Suede Shoe, she’d felt sick inside. She’d been so caught up in her own problems she hadn’t been very thoughtful when it came to him. After all, it had been her idea to sleep together in the first place, and her mistake with the phone. It wasn’t as though he’d done anything wrong.
The night was so cold she could see her breath misting in the air while she waited for him to answer her knock. She’d passed Carl when she drove in. He was standing under the eaves of his father’s house, smoking. The end of his cigarette had glowed red, and she could smell the tobacco once she got out of the car.
He’d seemed restless, bored, which made her uneasy. She’d ducked her head and hurried to Tobias’s stoop without speaking to him, and he hadn’t said anything to her, either. She was relieved about that. Already uncomfortable coming here so late, she hated that she now had a witness to her visit.
But who was Carl going to tell? He didn’t know her sister or Terrance. He�
�d just returned to town after a long absence, and they’d moved here while he was living elsewhere.
In any case, she was dying to see Tobias again.
When he came to the door, she could hear the TV behind him, but she could tell she’d woken him up. She wasn’t surprised; it was nearly two in the morning. She’d spent the past hour, ever since she and her sister and brother-in-law had come back from the bar, pacing in her bedroom, trying to talk herself out of sneaking out of their house like a teenager. She could’ve texted him if the only thing she was interested in was apologizing.
She wanted more than that.
“Harper.” He blinked as if she was the last person he’d expected.
“Can I come in?”
He pushed the door wider, making room for her, and she shivered as she brushed past him. His house smelled like he’d just pulled a fresh load of warm laundry from the dryer.
She liked being here, she realized. She felt good here, had wanted to return ever since she’d left. There was no question that Tobias was a bit rough and unpolished, but she liked him, too. The tattoos. The long hair. His simple, minimalist approach to life. She supposed it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous, too.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Suddenly a little nervous, she drew a deep breath. “Yes, everything’s fine.”
He rubbed a hand over his face, obviously trying to shake off the last vestiges of sleep. “Then...what’s going on?”
“I’m not sure,” she said. “I just...had to see you.”
“You want to...talk?” he guessed.
Closing her eyes, she kneaded her forehead. “No, not really.”
“So...”
She dropped her hand as she looked up at him. “You’re all I can think about. It’s crazy. We don’t even know each other that well. And yet...”
Now he was fully awake and watching her with far more interest. “And yet?”
“I’m dying to touch you, and I’m dying to feel your hands on me.”
“Then what the hell took you so long to come back?” He sounded almost angry. But she had reasons—good ones. She just didn’t want to think about them right now. She only wanted to think about him, the way he tasted and smelled and how his body felt against hers.
“My situation. My children. The fact that I’ll be leaving soon. All of it.”
“None of that’s changed,” he pointed out.
“I know. I have nothing to say to that except, after seeing you at the bar, I couldn’t stop myself from coming over here.”
“I guess Axel didn’t treat you too badly after the last time...”
Tobias still hadn’t reached for her. Was he going to turn her away? “He’s not happy about it, but I don’t care.”
They stared at each other.
“What is it?” she whispered, and then she felt she knew. “You don’t want me anymore. I’m sorry for waking you up. I’ll go.”
She turned to let herself out, had already yanked open the door when she felt his hands settle on her shoulders. The warmth of his fingers seemed to travel clear through her coat.
“No,” he said, his mouth at her ear. “Don’t leave.”
She needed to get out while she still could. She’d made a mistake coming here. It wasn’t fair to get involved with him, not when she was already so lost and confused.
But she let him close the door, and she didn’t resist when he turned her to face him.
He wore an intense expression as he gazed down at her, one that probably mirrored her own. She was feeling so much, far more than she thought she should.
He searched her face, seemed torn himself. But then he bent his head to kiss her.
She told herself she’d only let it go so far. One kiss. One embrace. That wasn’t asking too much, was it?
But the second their mouths touched, she knew she wasn’t going to leave until she’d taken everything he was willing to give her.
He tasted even better than she remembered, kissed even better, too. The softness of his lips and the warmth of his body as he leaned into her made her tingle from head to toe.
She delved into the long strands of his hair and curled them around her fingers.
Her excitement and arousal leaped to a whole new level when she heard him groan.
Arching into him, she closed her eyes as his mouth traveled down her neck and he peeled back her coat so that he could reach the sensitive skin above her blouse.
Then he straightened. “Where’s your phone?” he asked.
After she dug it out of her purse, he turned it off and put it on the kitchen table before guiding her into the bedroom.
* * *
Tobias wouldn’t let himself think about anything—not what Harper knew or didn’t know about his past, not the rock star she’d been married to, that she had kids she’d most likely never want him to meet or that she’d soon be leaving Silver Springs. She was here in his arms; he had this one night. That was all he could be certain of. In case it ended here, he planned to make the most of it. Other than his brother, nothing good stayed in his life for very long. He’d learned not to expect it.
It wasn’t hard to get lost in Harper. The feel of her nipples tightening against his tongue. The curve of her waist. The way she slid her legs between his. All of it put him right on the edge of climax. But he took his time with her, reveling in her trust and the eagerness of her responses—and making the most of each new sensation, each new quiver and gasp.
“You’re so beautiful,” he told her, admiring her bare body in the moonlight filtering through the blinds.
She’d turned off the light when he removed her clothes. He didn’t mind that; the darkness contributed to the overall effect of disconnecting from the rest of the world and forcing time to stand still for just a little while. This was his Christmas present, he decided. He didn’t care if he ever got anything else. But he also wanted to see her a bit more clearly, to memorize the heavy-lidded expression on her face. Nothing made him quite as hard as the way she was looking up at him right now. As though he really mattered.
She groaned and covered his hand with both of hers as he found the sensitive spot he’d been looking for. “That’s good,” she said on a long exhalation. “That’s so crazy good.”
He tilted his head to take her nipple in his mouth again, but she caught his face with both hands and brought it up so that he’d have to meet her gaze.
“You are so...”
“What?” he murmured when she didn’t finish that statement.
“Fucking amazing.”
When he started to laugh, she did, too. He kissed her nose. “Let’s see if we can make you swear a few more times.”
“Holy shit,” she said, almost immediately, but they were too caught up in pleasure to laugh. Her smile faded, and she allowed herself to be carried away by what he was doing with his hand.
“Now,” she whispered. “I need you inside me.”
He’d been drowning in testosterone just watching her hips move with his hand, hoped he wouldn’t climax as soon as he pushed inside her, so he took a few seconds to regroup while putting on a condom. Then he tried to distract himself as he rolled her beneath him by thinking of something distinctly unerotic.
But it was no use. She was licking his ear and whispering how much she loved it when he fucked her like this—he wasn’t sure if her choice of words was a continuation of the joke or not, but they were certainly effective—and when he slowed down and touched her face in a silent plea for the help he needed to be able to last, she only made matters worse by pulling his thumb into her mouth.
The gentle sucking action combined with the softness of her breasts rubbing against his chest with every thrust and the way she locked her legs around his hips, encouraging him to move faster and take them both higher, made it impossible for him to do anything except
succumb to his body’s urging to do exactly that—until he cried out in release.
“Shit,” he said once he’d regained his breath. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” she said. “I wanted to see you lose it. You were trying so hard to hang on.”
He scowled at her. “You knew that and didn’t help me?”
Her lips curved into a devilish smile. “I wanted to see what you were like when you were completely overcome.”
“Yeah, well, now you know it’s not as much fun for you.”
She nipped at his shoulder. “It won’t be a bad thing in the end. It’ll just give me a reason to stay a little longer.”
“You don’t have to leave right away?”
“Not unless you want me to. It won’t get light for a few hours.”
He smiled. He liked the idea of her staying. Somehow sleeping with her like this was even more intimate than having sex. “Then you’re not going anywhere,” he said and started kissing his way down her stomach.
* * *
Harper had Tobias set an alarm so they wouldn’t oversleep and curled into his warmth. “I love the way you smell,” she murmured as he pulled the blankets up around them. “I’ve never had that kind of reaction to anyone but you—you just smell good.”
“That surprises me, since we both smell like sex,” he said with a laugh.
She laughed, too, as he smoothed her hair back. “I like that smell. Don’t you?”
“Absolutely.” He leaned up on one elbow. “So...you cuss like a sailor—”
“Only when I’m highly aroused,” she joked.
“Only when you’re highly aroused,” he echoed, “and you like the scent of sex. Anything else I should know about you?”
She pulled him back down with her and burrowed closer. “I think that’s enough for one evening.”
He assumed she’d drifted off to sleep. She wasn’t moving and her breathing seemed steady. But after a few minutes, she roused herself enough to ask, “What are you doing for Christmas?”
