She’s a minx. And she’s not going to get the real answer out of me.
I married Emily because it’s what I thought I was supposed to do. The divorce option was always on the table in case it didn’t work out. As far as her hurting me…I don’t think I let her in enough for her to hurt me.
“Not me. I’m more afraid of Zoey getting attached to somebody and then it doesn’t work out.”
She considers this a moment and nods.
“You’re a good dad, Derek.”
Her gaze captures me. For the first time since I met her, her gaze isn’t haunted by fear or pain. There’s something about her delicate features that shows me she’s more than a victim. She’s free. And she’s spending her time with me.
“Thank you.”
We reach a comfortable silence. The current of the water relieves the ache in my feet. The gentle breeze tangles in her hair, which bothers her enough to tie it in a ponytail.
“I’m not a mean person,” she says quietly. “I…um…I think when you challenge me, I tend to get mean.”
“Because you feel threatened?”
She shakes her head. “No. Because you point out the ugly truth and I’m a sore loser.” She refuses to meet my gaze. “I don’t know what to do about you. You’re family to my family, you’re my best friend’s boss and friend, apparently…but when it comes to me…I don’t know where to place you.”
I itch to pull her into a hug, but I refrain. We’re not there yet.
“I thought we were friends.”
That gets a giggle out of her, albeit a nervous one.
“Yeah, we’re friends.” She sighs. “I missed so much here. There’s a chunk of my family’s lives I wasn’t a part of. It’s a little disorienting.”
“I didn’t take your place, Ace. You have no idea how much they all talked about you while you were away.”
She groans. “I can only imagine.”
“Nothing bad. They called you the quiet one. The real free spirit.” I won’t tell her what the rest of the town says about her. I’m not here to be cruel. “How did you meet Olson?”
This question takes her by surprise.
“The time I was on lockdown, I learned to be observant. Charlotte was constantly sneaking off with her driver, Charlie used to get hard beating the shit out of me, Dodge Senior liked to watch…stuff like that. But I noticed Olson would watch me when I went to the grocery store. I had a security detail follow me everywhere so I wouldn’t run.
“He couldn’t approach me in the store without Charlie’s goons finding out about it. So I learned sign language. Not all of it. I used to listen to videos as I walked to the store and practiced when I would spot his SUV. I learned enough phrases to discreetly get a message out to him as I passed him. He caught on and left a burner phone in a box of pasta. Then…we came up with a plan together.”
“He’s a good guy.” I know he is. He’s my baby brother.
“Yeah, he is. He kept me informed how my family was doing. I couldn’t have escaped without him.” She weaves her long fingers in the grass. “It took me a while to gather everything Olson needed. I met him twice before he got me out of there, but we spoke on the phone every day.”
He’s good like that. He took care of Steve’s daughter the only way he could. And in doing so, he’s going to put away her abuser and make her world a little bit safer.
I shift my gaze to her and study her watching the current in the creek, gently swinging her legs.
Who is the real Aria McKenzie?
“What do you do for fun?”
She swings her wild gaze to meet mine.
“Um…I don’t know. I used to ride, but it’s not an option at the moment.”
I want to ask her why, but she continues. “I like to cook, I guess. I read.”
“You’re not one to hit the town?”
She bursts into a fit of giggles.
“Absolutely not. Not even pre-Charlie was I into that.”
Okay, making progress.
“What do you and Jackie do when you hang out?”
“Oh…um TV, usually. Trash TV is a guilty pleasure of ours.”
“Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?” It’s out before I can stop myself from saying it. I close my eyes in frustration. “I meant as friends. I was going to invite your sister and Chris too.”
“That depends. What are you making?”
“I was thinking about going to Rico’s. It’s this taco bar in town—”
“I know where Rico’s is. That was one my haunts when I lived here.” She grins. “Sure. As friends, of course. No funny business.”
Of course. A woman this broken should be a giant red flag, a hoard of flashing warning lights to stay away from. But I can’t. It’s important to me she’s safe…she has the opportunity to live her third chance at life.
16
ARIA
19 weeks pregnant…
“I mean, I’m never going to say no to Rico’s, but is there another reason why you want me to come with?” Annie asks as she sets her suitcase on the bed, throwing all the dirty clothes into the hamper. She got back from Canada two hours ago, and I bombarded her the second she got in the door.
“No. He said he was going to invite you and Chris anyway.”
Her smile is contagious. Derek Hawthorn is a handsome man. I’m not blind. However, I could always do with more friends. And I’d love to stop acting so awkward around him.
Because secretly I find him tantalizing.
“Are you crushing on him?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not in high school anymore. No, I’m not. He’s just my friend. And I already told you I’m forever off the market.”
Annie frowns, continuing to empty her suitcase. “I don’t like that. Don’t let Charlie ruin you for other men.”
I want to avoid this part of the conversation. I should’ve shut my mouth.
“I’m not. But I have other things that require my attention.”
Her gaze falls to my abdomen completely disguised by my baggy shirt.
“Have you thought about finding out the sex?”
Nope.
“Um, haven’t thought about it yet.” Lie. “Anyway, it would be cool if you could come tonight. I haven’t had Rico’s in forever. And now that I don’t look like I was mugged in the back of an alley, I wouldn’t mind eating out. Under the watchful eye of my favorite sister and my idiot brother.”
Annie snorts. “He is an idiot.” A lovable idiot. “Fine. I’ll go. Then I want to hear about what’s been going on since I’ve been in Canada.”
“When do you have to have your article written?”
She huffs. “I got a lot of it done on the plane. If I spend all day tomorrow finishing it up and then editing, I should be on target.” She eyes me up and down with concern. “I’m sorry for leaving you, Peanut. I know you just got here, but I couldn’t cancel.”
I throw my arms around her and breathe in her floral scent. “You have a life, Annie. I don’t expect you to drop everything for me. I managed. Jackie stayed over a few nights. I’m okay.”
And it’s the first time I somewhat believe it.
She squeezes me and pulls back. “Okay. Give me fifteen and I’ll be ready.”
Right on cue, the doorbell rings.
“I’ll get it.”
I shouldn’t be this excited. I’m not, but I’m excited for Rico’s. It’s the only place in town with good Mexican food.
Without warning, the door opens, and Chris lets himself in.
“Hey, Peanut.”
“Does this mean you’re coming to Rico’s with me?”
He grins. “As if I’d ever miss an opportunity to go.”
“Annie’s getting ready. She needs a few minutes.”
For a Wednesday night, Rico’s is packed. We’re led to a table by the window. Olson joins our party in plain clothes. He’s still tense, and constantly on the lookout. I sit across from Derek, sandwiched between Olson and Annie. I scour the menu to focu
s my attention elsewhere. I already know what I’m getting.
“Tell us about Canada,” Derek says to Annie with an amused grin.
“It was fun! I learned how to make Ice Wine. And I ate at a lot of places too. The weather was beautiful and much to my surprise, the coffee was better there.” She grins widely.
“Where are you going next?” Chris asks.
Annie shrugs. “I have a few things lined up. Malta, Australia, and Bora Bora, but that’s closer to the end of the year. The magazine gave me some time to spend at home.”
To be with me. The guilt hits me like a freight train.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Olson narrows his eyes at me when I make no moves to silence it. Yet, the sound brings everyone’s attention to it. I don’t want to know what else Charlie has to say to me. That last message was enough to scare me into the next lifetime.
The jellybean inside me demands sustenance. Nausea swirls in my belly, and when the waitress stops by with a basket of chips and salsa, I could kiss her.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Derek asks while Chris, Annie, and Olson all talk amongst themselves.
“I’m giving a lesson tomorrow. But other than that, nothing.”
“Would you like to go shooting again?”
Yes. Especially after the scare the other morning, I absolutely want more practice.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Olson pipes up. “Count me in.”
Chris scowls but doesn’t voice his concern about his baby sister hanging out with a bunch of guys and shooting guns.
“By the way,” Derek chimes, shifting his gaze to Annie, “maybe you should come too. Aria found your gun in your nightstand with the safety off.”
Annie scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I highly doubt it. I’m careful.”
Chris barks out a laugh. “No you’re not!”
“Regardless, it wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’d feel better if you at least had a few lessons with us,” Olson says. “I know you’re busy, but we can book around your schedule.”
Annie isn’t one who likes guns. She was the one who cried every time Daddy pulled us out into the pasture to shoot. Getting her to do this is going to be like pulling teeth.
“Name the time and the place and I’ll show you guys up.”
Everyone chuckles.
“I’ll be right back.” Chris excuses himself.
Chris, the guy who thinks he’s so smooth, approaches Eliza North, a local, like she’s a deer in headlights. They chat while Annie and I spread out in the booth.
“So, Olson, tell me about yourself,” Annie probes, not so innocently.
Derek and Olson share a look, one that tells me there’s more to…this than either of them is letting on. Does it make me feel better, or worse?
“What do you want to know?”
“Your life story. How you take care of my sister…you know. I’m trying to gauge if I need to kill you now or later.”
I face palm my forehead.
“You can’t threaten a federal agent,” I snap.
“It wasn’t a threat!” She grins like a hyena, but she’s not as innocent as she likes to pretend to be. Luckily, Olson is tolerant and chuckles.
“I’m from Lancaster, Pennsylvania and joined the Marine Corps right out of high school. I did some things I can’t tell another human soul about, but after I retired, I joined the FBI. Your sister found a way to communicate with me when she realized I was watching.” He glances at me and offers me a reassuring smile. “We’ve gotten close over the last few months, haven’t we?”
I shrug nonchalantly. Olson has become family to me. I trust him with my life.
“You didn’t give up on me.” Even when I told him I killed someone in an attempt to escape.
“I still won’t.” He turns to Annie. “Her safety is important to me, not because she’s the lynchpin in this case. In fact, I’m hoping we stay in touch when all of this is over.”
When all of this is over. Is this a reality?
“Sure.”
He grins and shifts his gaze back to Annie. “I’m capable. I’m trained. I’ve been to hell and back, and I promise you, the Dodge’s won’t be an issue for your family when all is said and done.”
Except for the baggage I carry.
“Stop interrogating him. He’s here to help,” I plead with my sister. She grins at me and pulls me close.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she coos. “I’m looking out for you. I want you to be able to live your life without him hanging over your head.”
Yeah, me too. But I’ve accepted the fact it’s not a possibility.
Olson’s attention is taken by his phone. He excuses himself and takes the call outside while Annie sways in her seat to the upbeat, Latin music. Derek’s eyes scan the crowd, and then not so casually, out the window to stare at Olson.
My eyes follow his. Olson’s brows are furrowed, and he stares at the ground. A vein in his forehead pulses with anger. While he listens to the other person on the phone, his lips press into a hard line.
“That doesn’t look good,” Derek murmurs so only I can hear him. I can’t bring myself to say anything back. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay. He can handle it.”
I turn my gaze to him. It’s now where I notice how icy the blues of his eyes are. His face is relaxed, like he believes what comes out of his mouth is fact. He gives me a reassuring smile, and the idiot inside of me longs to push the long hair out of his eyes.
Derek Hawthorn makes me nervous, yet content all at the same time. It’s totally inappropriate, I know. I shouldn’t be wanting for whatever he’s trying to sell me, and now I can’t stop thinking about the guy who literally followed me into a crappy situation with Charlotte after only knowing me for like two minutes.
His full lips quirk into a smile, and it takes me a whole minute to realize my sister has vacated her seat and is somewhere else in the restaurant, mingling like the social butterfly she is.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re beautiful.”
And there it is. The sucker punch to remind and taunt me of what I can’t have.
“Derek…”
“Don’t worry. I’m not trying to get into your pants or convince you to drop everything and be with me. I wanted to let you know.”
I lick my lips nervously. He thinks I’m beautiful and all the while, I look like I stepped into a burlap sack.
“I’m sure you say that to all the girls.”
Shut. The. Fuck. Up!
He smirks and sits up straight.
“Beautiful isn’t the word I use.” I raise my eyebrows in anticipation for whatever charming bullshit comes out of his mouth next. “When you’re trying to set an expectation of no strings attached, you have to create a barrier. Beautiful isn’t what you call someone when you’re trying to push them away. You call them hot. Or sexy. Pretty.”
“So by calling me beautiful, you’re not trying to set a barrier to keep me out?”
He leans slightly closer to me, lowering his voice and putting the fear of god into me when my downstairs tingles. “You and me? We’re kindred spirits. We don’t play games. We keep our eyes on the prize. You don’t want to be with anyone. I don’t want to be with anyone.” He shrugs. “We’re friends. That’s all it could ever be, right?”
Right.
It has to be like this.
I’d never forgive myself if I brought my bullshit home to Zoey. That isn’t fair.
“You’re beautiful, Ace. I don’t need to beat around the bush, because I know nothing could ever happen between us. But…I feel like you should know. Someone should tell you every day how incredibly beautiful you are.”
My cheeks heat, and it’s right this very second I wished I put make up on to hide the stupid blush on my cheeks.
“If we’re telling the truth here, I think you’re dumb.”
I love taking him off guard. The way he gapes, like he wasn’t expecting me to roast him. But somebody needs to tell him
he’s being an idiot.
“Derek, you’re handsome. You’re passionate and irrationally hardheaded. The way you treat your daughter…I can only imagine how you’d treat a woman you invested your heart into. Zoey is a strong girl, and if she’s anything like me, she’d only want you to be happy. Stop blaming your fear of commitment on her.”
He leans forward, like he wants to tell me a secret.
“I appreciate your honesty.”
Yeah, right. I’m sure he does.
“Do you think this…fear of giving your heart to someone is going to last forever?”
His question shouldn’t surprise me, but I feel the pit in my stomach. The pit that craves love and affection or when it sets the butterflies free.
“Yeah,” I whisper hoarsely. “I do.”
His smile wanes.
“Okay,” he replies softly, the smile never leaving his face. “I’m just double checking.”
If I close my eyes, I can picture us. Not together, but losing myself in him, even if it was just one night. My hormones are all over the place. And this is the first time in a year I’ve wanted to be with someone.
“Derek…”
I can’t say what I want to say. It’s too embarrassing. He’s beautiful too. So beautiful it’s insulting.
“Sorry about that. I had to check in,” Olson announces, sliding in next to Derek, saving the day before I said something incredibly stupid.
“Everything all right?” Derek asks.
Olson gives him a hard look and a wince. Derek nods. They’ve known each other for what, two months, and they already have some telepathic language between them?
I smell fish.
“So, what’s good here, Aria? I was eying the tacos, but there are a bunch of other shit on here that looks good.”
I clear my throat, to banish the awkwardness, to wake Derek up from staring at me with that stupid, but dreamy look.
“Anything on the menu is good. I always go for the fajitas. The beef comes from our farm.”
Olson glances up in surprise.
“Seriously?”
“So does the corn and dairy.” I grin. The day Daddy signed the contract with the owners was one of the happiest days of my life. Rico’s has been a staple in our family…where we celebrate all the good that comes our way.
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 14
