The teen nodded, then folded a slice of bacon into his mouth.
Paige had kept her promise—it wasn’t like that should surprise him. But pangs of sadness and regret stung Ethan anyway. His heart beat hard as Bryan continued to speak, his appetite all but gone.
• • •
Three days later, Ethan pulled into his driveway after another all-night stakeout. This time, he had four hours before he needed to be back on shift. The schedule was grueling, to say the least. There was no way any of the volunteers would be able to keep it up. A few—the ones with families—had already bowed out.
He and Mark were among four officers still keeping vigil. The captain had been able to dedicate another four from patrols, but there were still no signs of the arsonist.
Stripping down to his underwear, Ethan got into bed. Within minutes, though, it became obvious he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Ten minutes later, he gave up trying.
He got up, made coffee, and then turned on his laptop. For the funeral, he’d used childhood photos of James to create a slideshow, and he needed to return the originals to James’s parents. When he did, though, he wanted to give them a copy of what he’d made.
Two hours later, he dropped off the prints and a DVD with a relative who answered the Wilsons’ door. Then he drove to Denise’s. He’d made a copy for her too.
She answered the door, her face haggard as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Her brow rose in surprise. “Ethan.”
“I have something for you.”
Denise took the DVD after he explained what was on it. “Thank you,” she whispered.
When Ethan looked away from her pained face, he noticed a backpack and duffel sitting near the foyer. “Are you going somewhere?”
“I’m going to take our honeymoon trip. I just . . . I need to get away for a while.”
Ethan frowned. “You’re going alone?”
She shook her head, then brushed her face with the back of her hand. “My brother’s coming with me.”
“I’ll keep an eye on your place while you’re gone.”
“I’m not sure I’m even coming back,” Denise said slowly. “I don’t think I can live here anymore.”
Ethan closed his eyes. She didn’t have to explain; he understood perfectly.
“I saw Paige at the service.”
Ethan blinked his eyes open and stared at Denise. “She was there?”
Denise put a hand on his arm. “Listen, I take back what I said last time. I really think you should go and see her. Try and find out what’s going on.”
Tamping down his feelings, he gave Denise a hug. “We’re going to find this arsonist. I won’t stop until we do.”
She squeezed his arm. “I know you won’t.”
As he drove to the station, Ethan thought of what Denise had said. Christ, he wanted to do it—to go see Paige. But she hadn’t sought him out at the service, and that alone was telling.
Even if she had nothing to say to him, he had a million things to say to her. An hour didn’t go by where he didn’t imagine them having a conversation. He inhaled a deep breath as fresh pain sliced through him.
What harm would it do, anyway, paying her a visit? It wasn’t like things could get worse. That was the thing about being in hell—you had absolutely nothing to lose.
Sadness washed over him as his thoughts turned to James. Their lives might be in shambles because of loss, but he’d meant every word he’d said to Denise. They were going to catch the arsonist.
• • •
That night after his shift, Ethan left the station and headed toward Paige’s duplex. Surprisingly, this time she opened the door.
They both stood frozen for a long moment. Now that he was finally standing in front of her, Ethan couldn’t figure out what to say first. He shifted on his feet, trying desperately to think of something to say that might make Paige open up to him. But she spoke first.
“I’m so sorry about James.”
He closed his eyes. “Thank you.”
They stood there for a few more seconds before he said, “I’ve missed you. Very much.”
When her gaze fell to the concrete, he drew in a breath. “Paige . . .”
God, he was already botching this. He was leading with his emotions, and that was never a good thing. He ran a hand down his face, trying hard to gain control.
“For weeks now, I’ve wondered what’s going on. I need the real reason you broke it off.”
There was silence after he finished speaking. For what felt like minutes, Paige just stood there. It finally became clear that she wasn’t going to tell him anything. But did that mean he was going to give up?
His heart sank and his stomach clenched. They’d never get anywhere if she refused to answer the most basic questions. Without another word, he turned and walked the three steps down to the walkway.
“Wait. Ethan . . .”
He spun around to see Paige biting down on her lip. Hope began to creep upward.
“I’d really like it if we could be friends.”
The hope instantly crashed back down. Her words cut into him, to the point where he nearly took a step backward. It felt like a hammer had just smashed his heart. Again.
Finally he cleared his throat. “If that’s what you want.”
She nodded and the awkwardness continued. Desperately, Ethan wanted the explanation he’d come for, but he questioned pushing her. Sheer need finally won out.
“I still don’t get it,” he said. “I don’t understand why you broke it off.”
Paige dropped her gaze, then reached out to tug at a leaf on a nearby shrub. “Because I’m a mess,” she finally whispered.
It was a struggle not to reach out and shake some sense into her. Instead, he controlled himself as he carefully chose his next words.
“You’re not a mess. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
She shook her head.
“You are.”
She pulled her hand back and closed her eyes. “You should go now.”
Ethan tensed. His hope had been shredded—there was no question. But it dawned on him that Paige was probably giving him all she was capable of. He’d settle for friends. For now, at least.
He nodded and headed back to his truck.
Chapter 36
After Ethan left, Paige sat at her dining table, trying hard to squeeze the image of his hurt face out of her mind. She’d assumed he’d be able to move on, but it seemed like she’d been wrong. He looked as if he’d been suffering as much from their breakup as she had, which made her feel even worse about the decision she’d made.
Finally she pulled her laptop out of her bag, thinking if she got back to work, she’d be able to put everything out of her mind. An hour later, though, her work lay untouched. She was lost in thoughts of Ethan and how he was hurting—both from James’s death and from their relationship.
She longed to be with him again, but nothing had changed. She was still the same screwed-up mess she’d been for two years. And whether Ethan realized it or not, he was better off without her. That night in his basement had proven things beyond any doubt.
Still, it was obvious he wanted an explanation, and he certainly deserved one. She scoffed at the memory of his calling her strong. What a joke that was. She was the polar opposite. And what she’d done—sending him off without even telling him the truth—had been cowardly.
Before she could change her mind, she pulled out her phone and composed a text to Ethan.
Paige: You’re were right about what you said. I owe you an explanation. Can we meet when you have the time?
She read it through twice, debating the wisdom of sending the message. But her heart eventually won out over her head, and with a trembling finger, she pressed Send.
Chapter 37
“Where should we meet up for surveillance tonight?” Mark asked as he and Ethan changed from their uniforms in the locker room the next afternoon. Since the arsonist still hadn’t been caught, surveilla
nce had continued as long as volunteers were available. Ethan and Mark were among the few die-hards who continued to give up their free time to the case.
“I’m meeting Paige for dinner first. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.” The hope Ethan had been nursing flickered to life again at the thought of finally having a meaningful conversation with her about what had gone wrong.
Mark frowned. “You’re back together?”
Ethan glanced at him, taken aback at Mark’s cold tone. Trying to keep his own voice even, he said lightly, “Just friends.”
Turning to him, Mark hooked his hands on his hips. “You really think that’s a good idea? After all she put you through?”
Doing his best to tamp down his rising annoyance, Ethan looked away and said, “I know what I’m doing.”
Mark shrugged and dropped his hands. “Your life.” He closed his locker and tossed a curt good-bye over his shoulder as he left the locker room.
Ethan walked out to the parking lot and got into his truck, doing his best to let go of his irritation at Mark. The two of them hadn’t really gotten any closer, so he’d never discussed his relationship with Paige with his partner. Apparently the station’s rumor mill had filled him in, which was to be expected with a close-knit group, but Ethan was still annoyed at Mark’s judgment on a situation he really knew nothing about. Especially when he wasn’t very open about his own life.
What a hypocrite.
Determined to put it behind him, Ethan pushed his thoughts toward Paige and the conversation he hoped they’d have. Twenty minutes later, he arrived at the restaurant she had suggested. She was already waiting, seated inside a booth, and he slid in across from her.
Immediately, he could sense how uncomfortable she was. As difficult as sharing his dyslexia had been, it seemed Paige was having an even harder time opening up to him. Instead of asking questions, he caught her up-to-date on the arson investigation. They’d ordered and finished dinner before she finally brought up their breakup.
She toyed with her glass after their plates were cleared. “Do you remember when we talked about the Campus Killer?”
Ethan nodded. It had made the national news nightly for weeks. Coeds kidnapped and murdered. Two of the victims had flat tires in the weeks before their abduction. The killer, Donald Naughton, had been a tow truck driver for one of the women, and had been found dead in a burned bunker along with two of his victims.
Understanding dawned even before Paige said in a soft voice, “I was one of his victims.”
Stunned, Ethan tried not to gape at her as his mind whirled. The one who’d escaped was Paige? Oh God.
Paige stopped speaking, and Ethan willed her the strength to continue. This had to be awful for her, so rather than risk spooking her with questions that made her uncomfortable, he bit his tongue and tried to relax. Being patient was difficult, and the cop in him squirmed at the inaction.
A few seconds later she swallowed hard. “I got home from class on a Tuesday in September of my senior year. My roommate’s car was in the parking lot, but I didn’t see her. When I walked into the kitchen, I . . .” She looked away and covered her mouth, then sniffed back her tears. A moment passed before she straightened her shoulders and met Ethan’s eyes. “I found my roommate in the kitchen, lying dead in a puddle of blood. I screamed, and the next thing I knew, he grabbed me from behind and put a rag over my face.”
All of Ethan’s muscles tightened, but he remained silent as he listened. Rage swept through him at the thought of what Paige had gone through, but he pushed it aside so he could hear the rest of her story.
“When I woke up I was blindfolded, in some sort of bunker. The smell of dirt was so strong.” She shuddered. “Part of me knew it was the Campus Killer, but another part of me was in denial.”
Her survival instincts, he thought, and then pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. So that’s why she reacted so strongly to the basement. That’s why she needed the meds.
“There was a bed he kept me tied to.” Her voice caught. “I couldn’t believe he’d killed Jane. I’d been there over a day when he finally loosened the tie on my wrist. At first I was too scared to move, but eventually I did.”
When she bit down on her lip, Ethan tensed. Desperately, he wanted to fold her into his arms. Instead, he reached across the table and grasped her hand. “You don’t have to talk about it anymore.”
“No.” She took a long breath. “I want to tell you.” She wet her lips and then continued. “It was a large space down there, several rooms. I could smell smoke, and it got worse as I tried to get out. But I found the ladder and started climbing. Twenty steps.” She shook her head. “Twice I almost fell, but I finally made it to the top. I opened the hatch, got out, and ran.”
Paige took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes for a moment. “I remember thinking he was going to catch me at any second. When I finally made it to the road, a woman passing by stopped to help. By the time the police got there, the place was burning. They said an oil lamp must have been knocked over. They figured he’d been distracted, and that was why he’d forgotten to retie my wrist.”
She sighed. “There isn’t much more. My name was kept out of the press but I made the mistake of telling someone at school. It was bad enough before, but after my name got out, I couldn’t go anywhere without seeing the looks of pity in people’s eyes. He’d murdered three women. I had no idea why I’d survived.” She stopped talking and stared down at her lap.
A swarm of emotions coursed through Ethan as he sat there. Rage at the person who’d done this. Pride in her ability to make her escape, then try to put her life back together. Sadness at the survivor’s guilt she’d experienced, and that she’d felt she had to keep things to herself.
There was something about being young and wanting to fade into the woodwork that Ethan understood all too well. But Paige hadn’t been given that chance. It was no wonder she’d moved several thousand miles for a fresh start.
“You were brave to move out here,” he said.
She shook her head. “I was just running away.”
“Moving away from everything you know and love to start fresh—you don’t think that’s brave?” He said it again, this time more firmly. “You’re very brave.” When she looked up at him, he gave her hand a squeeze. “And I’m really happy it’s this town you came to.”
Paige squeezed his hand back, then said sheepishly, “I had panic attacks for months afterward. I still do sometimes. Like that night at your house . . .”
He sat still, studying her. Aside from his father dying, the last few weeks had been the worst period of his life. But he had a feeling that he and Paige were finally back on the right track.
She drew in a sharp breath. “I thought I was doing better, but . . . well, you’ve seen me. I’m not normal, and I don’t think I ever will be.” The last words were filled with emotion, her voice cracking as she finished.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Paige,” he said quietly. “Nothing. You’re a strong person to go through what you did and be able to function at all afterward. A lot of people would have fallen apart and never found their way back. But you did. That takes guts.”
Their server stopped by their table to see if they needed anything else, and Ethan quickly paid the check.
“Thank you for coming out to dinner with me,” he said after they’d reached Paige’s car. He gave her a long hug before saying, “I’ll follow you home.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I want to.” His tone left no room for argument.
When they arrived at her duplex, Ethan walked her to the door.
Paige looked up at him. “I’m going to meet Bryan in the office tomorrow so we can work on the video. Would you like to join us?”
Ethan nodded, grateful not only that it was his day off, but that she’d given him an opening to see her again so soon. “I’d love to. I’ll take you both to lunch afterward.”
He leaned in and
gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. The scent of lavender hit him, and he withdrew with a sigh. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
• • •
The next morning, Ethan sat in Paige’s office alongside her and Bryan. He grinned as Paige played a clip of video. On it, Bryan maneuvered his skateboard up the sides of a smooth concrete pit before flipping it in the air. The kid was amazing on a board, fearless and flexible, making his stunts look effortless.
The camera panned the small audience that had gathered, and a flash of silver appeared on the screen. Ethan leaned forward. “Wait a second! Go back.”
When Paige and Bryan’s gazes simultaneously flew toward him, he nodded at Paige. “I need you to rewind it.”
She pressed a button and the video moved backward.
“Stop there,” he said abruptly. Once she did, he asked, “Can you slow it down?”
She nodded, and the frames began to roll forward again, slower this time.
Ethan pointed to the screen at a boy wearing a chain from his waist. “Hold it here,” he said again. “Bryan, do you know who that is?”
The teen squinted at the image. “That’s Nicholas. Nicholas Fairbanks.”
Ethan closed his eyes. That key chain—the way it was swinging. They were looking at the same person who’d been on the surveillance video from the warehouse fire. He had no doubt; the arsonist was Nicholas Fairbanks.
“What is it?” Paige asked after she’d followed him out of the room.
He explained in a low voice, then asked, “Can you get Bryan home?”
As she nodded, a worried look came over her face. “Be careful, Ethan.”
• • •
An hour later, Ethan, Mark, and Captain Liu stood inside the Fairbanks home. Although Nicholas’s parents were at home, he wasn’t, so a BOLO—a be-on-the-lookout alert—had just been issued for him.
“Do you keep any weapons in this house?” the captain asked.
Mr. Fairbanks blinked hard. “I have a gun.”
The captain frowned and stepped forward. “Can we see it?”
The man got up and, with a nod from the captain, Ethan followed him into a bedroom. The man retrieved a metal box from the closet and set it on top of the bed. When he unlocked it, the box was empty.
Brave Love Page 11
