"Really, Jude? Is your buddy going to cover for you now? Where's the bitch who's been kissing my boyfriend?" She looked around at the different girls walking past. "Well, Jude? Which one is she?"
"Zoey, relax. It's not like that at all. You know how the fans are, sometimes they want a little peck. That's all it was. You gotta believe me."
She studied his face for a moment. “You've been drinking, haven't you?" she asked. “You know I said I wasn’t going to tolerate that anymore. I just can’t, Jude. I can’t.”
"No, I told you it's been tough, but I've got it under control. Rehab did me good, Zoey. I swear I haven’t been drinking,” he said as he reached down and held her hands. “Come on, Zoey. You know I love you." Jude pulled a hotel key out of his pocket and gave it to her. “Look, it’s the penthouse suite. I got it just for us. I wanted this weekend to be special. Please believe me. I don't want to fight."
He seemed so sincere. Zoey knew he never meant to hurt her. Jude loved her. She knew that without a doubt. But she was so confused lately. Dealing with everything over the past five years had really drained her.
"I just need some air," she said as she pushed him away.
She saw the hurt cross his face, and he quickly darted his eyes away from her. A lump formed in her throat and she turned away to keep him from seeing her cry. Was she being over-sensitive? Maybe, but there was so much hurt in her that it sometimes trumped the good.
Slipping the room key he gave her into her pocket, she walked back the way she came then turned towards the exit. As she reached the large doors, she turned back and saw Donna rubbing Jude’s back. She might have been wrong, but she thought it looked like Donna was wearing pink sparkle lip gloss.
Hot rage shot through her veins and she thought about going back and giving both of them a piece of her mind when Jude walked away from Donna. She was driving herself crazy! She just needed some sleep.
“Hey, Zoey!” Cade called out as he caught up to her. “You going to the party later?”
“Party? No, I’m tired. I think I just need a little air and then I’m heading back to the room,” she said.
“Alright, hopefully I’ll see you around soon. We should catch up.”
For a moment, Zoey saw a glimpse of the old Cade and not the walking hard-on he became over the years. She couldn’t believe she snapped at him earlier. That wasn’t like her at all and she felt really bad about it. If anyone knew how rock stars were, it was her. Hell, as a club rat, she practically endorsed their bad behavior. So why was she being so sensitive now?
“I’m sorry about before. You really don’t disgust me. I’m just…I don’t know,” she said as she rubbed her temple. “I think I just need some air.”
“Don’t worry about it, Zoey. I know what I am,” he said softly as he removed his sunglasses and his eyes met hers. “Do you want some company?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Are you crazy? You have a show to finish. I think they’ll notice if you’re not out there.” She grinned at him, feeling a little better and listening to the crowd chant ‘Silverlight.’
“I don’t care about any of that. I’ll walk out right now if you say that’s what you want.”
Flustered, she searched his sky-blue eyes for the punchline, but there wasn’t one. He meant what he said, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t right. The most they ever were were friends. But if that was true, then why was she forcing herself to not ask him to leave with her?
Behind Cade, she watched as Donna approached Jude again and rubbed his arm with her fingertips. Her stomach turned. She had to get out of there. Her head was spinning. Everything was just too much at once.
Without answering Cade, she turned and pushed the exit doors open and passed through them into the cool Vegas night air. Breathing in deep for a moment, she followed the walkway in a daze back to the hotel Silverlight was staying in.
Being that jealous, crazy girlfriend was the last person she wanted to be. She didn’t even recognize herself back there. As she headed to the elevator, she knew she couldn’t go up to the suite Jude got. She needed some time to get herself back. Just to relax and get some rest and not have to worry about Jude or anyone else showing up. Turning, she went to the glossy marble front desk.
“Hi, I’d like a room for the night,” she said to the clerk dressed in the hotel uniform of a crimson vest with striped shirt.
“Sure, not a problem. Let me see what I have available.”
Zoey felt like her old self when she woke the next morning. Checking her cell phone, she noticed several missed calls from Jude but only one voicemail. She hesitated before playing it.
“Is this how it is, Zoey? It’s always what you want, isn’t it? It’s fine for you to get jealous, but I’ve had to deal with your friendship with Cade since the beginning. I see how it is. I’ve always loved you, and in the end you never gave me a chance. It's always been your way or no way."
She recognized that as drunk Jude and knew it was her fault. Feeling bad for how she acted, she scolded herself for not saying something to him before she left or at least texting him later that night. Instead, she got a hotel room and never said anything to him. This was her fault.
Quickly getting dressed, she grabbed his room key and rode the elevator to the penthouse floor. She knocked on the door and waited, but there was no answer. He’s probably still asleep, she thought. Letting herself into the room, she held the door as it closed so it wouldn’t slam and wake him.
The penthouse had a wall of windows that looked out at the city below, but the view was eclipsed by the mess in the room. Chairs were knocked over. Empty bottles littered the main room and plates of half-eaten food were piled on the counter.
Following a trail of clothing into the bedroom, Zoey found Jude passed out on the floor shirtless and with his jeans unzipped. Beside him were two naked women. One of them was Donna.
“Really, Jude?” she yelled as she kicked his leg. “Is this what I deserve?”
Jude groaned and rubbed his face before slowly sitting up. “Zoey? You came back?”
“I never left, but I’m gone now,” she said as she stormed out of the bedroom.
“Wait, Zoey. This isn’t what you think!” he said as he looked around before chasing after her.
She spun to look at him and saw Donna standing naked in the doorway, smiling like a cat that swallowed a mouse.
“How is it not what I think? I’m tired of this, Jude. And with that fucking slut? God only knows what you’ll catch off that skank. I’m done with this, Jude. I’ve had enough. Drink all you want, do what you want. You won’t have me to worry about anymore,” Zoey said as she slammed the door shut behind her and ran down the hall towards the elevator as fast as she could.
She knew Jude would follow her and she couldn't do it anymore. She couldn’t hear the excuses. She wanted so badly to believe him, but it was the same thing over and over, and she had had enough. It was time for her to think about herself and to listen to her head, not her heart. Her head told her enough times she was an idiot for staying as long as she did, and she knew it was right.
Getting into the elevator, she hit a random button multiple times, wishing the door would close faster as Jude ran down the hall towards her.
“Zoey, please! I love you! Please don’t do this. Don’t end it like this. Hear me out! Let me explain!”
As tears fell down her cheeks, she turned away from him as the elevator door closed. Her body shook uncontrollably as she sobbed into her hands. She thought she and Jude would be together forever. Forever couldn't come fast enough.
Present Day
“That was probably a little more than you wanted to hear,” Zoey said.
Nathan Fielding sat across from Zoey, his small recorder sitting on the large glass desk between them. Behind Zoey, several platinum records hung on the wall.
“I didn’t expect you to be so open, but this was all great. This will really give the Silverlight documentary more heart and emotion,” he sai
d as he jotted down a few notes. “Thank you so much for meeting with me. I didn’t think you would.”
“You didn’t give me much choice, did you?” she asked as she stood in a black pencil skirt and silk blouse and poured herself a glass of water from a nearby pitcher.
“Have you kept in touch with any of them?”
“With Silverlight? No. That night was the last time I saw any of them.”
“Not even Jude?”
“Not even Jude,” she said. “I couldn’t see him after that. I loved him very much, but in the end I was nothing more than a muse to him. It was best that we both moved on and never kept in touch.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s so sad,” he said.
“It’s always sad when the one you love doesn’t love you back,” she said as she shrugged. “But we were both young, especially me. It’s all history. I’ve heard he’s really in love now.”
“Yes, with Lucky Saldano. I was there when they met,” he said.
She nodded and looked at her watch. “Well, I have real clients that would like to meet with me so if you wouldn’t mind…”
“I’m sorry, I took up much more of your time than I intended. Thank you again for your honesty and your time. If I have any questions when I review the tape, would you mind if I called?”
“Actually, I would mind. I’d rather not talk to you again,” she said as she pushed a button on the phone. “Security, please escort Mr. Fielding out.”
Zoey walked to the full-length window with her arms crossed in front of her. Looking down, she waited for security to escort Nathan to the curb of the busy Los Angeles street. Once he was off the building property, she pressed another button on her phone and waited for the man’s voice on the other end to answer.
“Hey, it’s Zoey. Nathan’s gone, probably heading back to you. I told him exactly what you said, and he ate it up.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Zoey,” Jude said. “You know how it is. I have an image to uphold.”
She laughed. “Yeah, if they only knew the truth. If you need anything else, let me know,” she said as her voice caught.
“Everything okay?”
“Um yeah, it’s just…you know, there’s always a little truth in everything. It’s been a long time since I thought about it all. Lots of memories.”
"We have a lot of history together," Jude said.
"Yes, but we were always much better as friends. I'm glad we reconnected."
"Me too," he said. "I should have tracked you down sooner than just a few years ago. I needed to apologize. I was reckless with your feelings. I was just a stupid boy trying to keep up with you. I didn't respect you enough."
"Stop. We were both young. It's no one's fault," she said sincerely.
“You’re coming Saturday, right?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Jude. Tell Olivia to call me if she needs anything.”
“I’m sure you’ll hear from her either way. Thanks again, Zoey. You’re the best!”
“Don’t you forget it,” she said then pressed the button to hang up.
Smiling to herself, she pulled out a glass frame from a tall white bookshelf. One side was a photo of her, Jude, and Cade at the house in Seattle all those years ago. The other side was a photo of her, Jude, and Olivia on the Santa Monica Pier.
It was strange to think of everything that happened in the past, but they were mostly happy memories of first love and both of them growing up. She and Jude were never meant to be and they were better off as friends. Zoey was happy for both Jude and Olivia and loved them both very much.
10
Jude
Jude slid a knob on the soundboard up then turned to look at Nathan Fielding. Nathan scribbled furiously in his notepad as the recorder continued churning.
"Sounds like you got Zoey in a talkative mood," Jude said.
"Yes, she was very forthcoming and honest. Her interview alone will give this documentary heart. First love and heartbreak at the hands of one of the biggest drummers in the world? And without her, Silverlight as we know it wouldn't have even existed."
"You realize I was there, right?"
"I'm so sorry. Just hearing your version, too. I'm trying to make sure I get my notes straight."
"Well, you can do that on your own time."
"Just a few more questions. Please, Jude?"
"Fine," Jude said as he looked at the clock hanging on the wall. "Just make it quick, I have things to do, you know."
"I know you haven't talked to Zoey in all this time, but I can't help but wonder by hearing your stories, do you still love her?"
Jude laughed. "You're asking that because you've never been in love," Jude said then raised his hand against Nathan's protest. "Trust me, after you've been in love, real love, you'll understand. You never stop loving your first love. Love just doesn't up and vanish, not if it's true love. It's just sometimes you love someone you weren't meant for."
"And you think you and Lucky, I mean Olivia, are meant for each other?"
"I don't think, I know. Are we done here?"
"Just one more question. We found out last year that you and Donna had gotten married. Would you ever get married again?"
Jude's jaw clenched, hearing her name. "Donna manipulated and took advantage of me when I was at my worst. She just wanted in on the Silverlight money, and all her maneuvering was one of the reasons the band broke up. I was lucky the marriage wasn't legal. Regardless, I'll never get married again."
"Even to Olivia?"
"We know we're together for the rest of our lives. Neither of us needs anything more. Now if you don't mind," Jude got up and pointed to the door. "If you have any other questions for me, you can call my managers Ron Myles and Derek Lane. I've told you enough."
As Nathan left, Jude picked up the phone and dialed. "Sorry Liv, that took much longer than I expected."
"It's okay, I'm still getting ready, but our guests have already started arriving," Olivia said. "Hopefully that jerk doesn't notice them."
"I'm sure everything will be fine. He's so happy with his story I doubt he's paying attention to anything else. Wait, is it bad luck for me to talk to you?”
Olivia laughed. “No, silly! It’s bad luck for you to see me, but we can talk all we want. Except you still need to get ready.”
“Alright then, honey. I’ll see you later.”
Jude left the studio and followed the curving stone walkway towards the large house, then around back to a smaller building. He had spent the night in the guesthouse to avoid seeing Olivia. Not that either of them believed in superstitions, but he didn’t want to tempt fate. Part of him was old fashioned anyway.
As he unlocked the guesthouse door, he heard a pop and then “surprise!”. Cade held the opened bottle of champagne as Zoey passed out glasses to Richard, Matt, and Stone.
“Did you guys break in?” Jude joked.
“No, we just told security we were interviewing you,” Zoey said. "We all know how you love that.”
“That Nathan guy is still talking about how heartbroken you are. Is there any truth to it?” Jude asked.
“Are you kidding me? No, I mean maybe I was back then, but everything fell apart so slowly I think one day we just knew. We simply drifted apart,” Zoey said as she shrugged. “I was young too, really young, so I grew up a lot while you were on tour. You…well…” she laughed.
“Yeah, Jude never grew up,” Stone said. “I swear sometimes I envy you, buddy.”
“Do you envy what happened with Donna?” Cade asked.
“Hell no,” Stone said. “She caused enough trouble without my having to marry her."
“I think Donna was the only part of my story that was 100%,” Zoey said.
“Mine too,” Jude said.
“Why even bother with the charade? I don’t get it,” Cade asked. “Seems like a lot of work.”
“Just to fuck with him really. Olivia and I have been talking about getting married for a while now, but every time we made the sli
ghtest step towards it, one of those damn paparazzi would get wind of it. When Richard told me he was thinking about a documentary before we announce our reunion tour, I figured that was the best way to do it. They’re like dogs, so I gave them something to chew on while Olivia gets to have the private wedding of her dreams.”
“You know they’ll find out,” Cade said.
“I know, but when they do, it’ll be in the past. Nothing for them to ruin. They can try to get their hands on photos or whatever, but it’ll be old news.”
“You’re not worried they’ll think you’re some kind of drunk, drug-addicted…never mind,” Zoey said laughing. “I don't know what I'm thinking. You’re a rock star, you’re supposed to be like that.”
“Things aren't always as they seem,” Jude said. “And I've done the charade long enough that they'll believe it. They love the circus, so they’d rather have that story than the real boring one.”
“Well, you need to get ready. I’m going to check on Olivia to see if she needs any help. There’s too much testosterone in this room for me anyway,” Zoey said as she headed out of the guesthouse.
“Hey Zoey?” Jude said. “I really am sorry about the stupid things I did back then.”
“Gimme a break, Jude. We were young, we both did stupid things. At least we were able to be adult about it and stay friends.”
Cade closed the door behind Richard, Matt, and Stone, who all left with Zoey. Jude entered the bedroom and unzipped the garment bag holding his black tuxedo.
“Wow, a tux,” Cade said. “I have to admit I’m surprised anyone could get you to wear something other than jeans.”
“She thinks I’m wearing jeans, but I wanted to surprise her. The boots stay though. I have to stay true to myself," he said as he grinned.
“This is probably the wrong time to bring it up, but I really wanted to talk to you about something.”
Jude’s brow wrinkled as he looked at Cade. “Everything okay? You’re not usually so serious.”
Lucky: A Rockstar Romance Two Book Boxed Set Page 22
