“Last night,” he started, “Emily cornered me outside of the dance. She saw us, and not by accident. She followed me and she made some threats. She doesn’t want us to spend time together, and if I don’t go along with it, she said that she would have her mom put in words with CalArts. And SMU. Because that’s near Baylor.”
He rolled his eyes. He was so casual about it, as if Emily’s scheming psychotic ass wasn’t totally insane and unreasonable.
“What the hell?” I gaped. “I mean, I’m not surprised. But I am. She’s … what the hell?”
“I’m crazy about you, Cheer.” He ignored my rant and sat up straighter, directing himself toward me. “The moment you caught that ball and threw it back, I was interested. And the more that we talked, the more I felt. You’re direct and honest. You don’t stand for bullshit. You are who you are, and you don’t apologize for it.
“When I took you to California, it wasn’t because I had nothing better to do. It was because I wanted to spend time with you. Watching you experience new things, it’s the fucking best. You have appreciation for detail. You don’t take things for granted. You don’t have your head up your ass, and when I dared you to kiss me, it wasn’t so I could win the bet. It was because I was too much of a coward to be up front about what I wanted. Because I was scared that I’d end up giving you my whole heart, and you would leave and take it with you.”
I leaned over and kissed him. He cupped my neck and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me onto his lap so that I was straddling him. Each time that we kissed, it got better and better. There was nothing to hold us back now. And it was evident in the way that we grabbed at each other and did whatever we could to close the distance between us.
“Wait,” I leaned back, breathless and dizzied. “What does this all mean? I’m—I’m going to California next year. I don—”
“You don’t want a relationship.” He nodded, breathless as well. His hands still had a tight hold on my middle. “I know. But I like you and you like me. Can you trust that I won’t hurt you and let’s see where this goes?”
His movements were restless as he clutched me. His green gaze was still fixed on my mouth and while it was something that I wanted to avoid, I couldn’t help but nod. Because I wanted to see where this could go as well.
“As long as you trust that I won’t hurt you either.” I shifted my hips and we kissed again. He had such soft lips, but he was so fierce and dominating.
“Wait.” I leaned back again. “Emily? I mean, she’s what? Out to get me?”
He dropped his head and exhaled. “Full disclosure, I don’t think that she’ll go that far. I think it’s an attempt to keep control over the situation. She’ll make life miserable, but I can’t see her messing with your college plans. She wouldn’t risk pissing me off to that extent. She’s lucky that I put up with her bullshit now.”
“Why do you put up with it?”
He frowned, holding me close while he watched the view behind me. “Because I’ve seen what her home life is like. I’m not saying that it’s an excuse to be a bitch. But … it explains things.”
I wanted to ask. But at the same time, I didn’t feel that I had the right to know. Or needed to know. I hated Emily, but this sounded personal.
“Her parents are pieces of shit,” he explained without prompting. “Her dad doesn’t acknowledge her. Her mom is more interested in pretending that she’s still a teenager rather than an adult with responsibilities. Their money and his career are more important than their daughter. I don’t know, seeing it in person is so much worse. It’s cold.”
I felt genuine empathy for her. I wasn’t a total monster. When my mom and dad were alive, Nathan and I were their entire world. We had the real deal. And the fact that Drayton was understanding of Emily and patient, and felt for her, it made me feel all that much more for him.
“We can keep this between us for a while.” I shrugged, running my fingers through his hair. “We don’t need to flaunt it all over school.”
“I shouldn’t have to hide you.” His hands moved down my spine, slow and tantalizing.
“We’re not hiding. We’re just not throwing it in anyone’s face. I wouldn’t mind a bit of time to figure this out myself. It feels as if it’s all happened so fast,” I said. What I didn’t say was that while it felt incredible, and I was happy and full of butterflies, I was aware of what the two of us were like. It might not last.
He watched me, his gaze moving across my face with a soft expression, like he wanted to absorb the moment. “All right, for now.”
And then we kissed.
Chapter 16
Over the course of the next week we abided by what we said and kept this new romance between us, under wraps. Gabby and Josh knew, and of course, she’d been beside herself with excitement. But other than that, we were discreet.
It was hard sometimes. We both had to resist the urge to kiss whenever we were close at school. We watched each other, and even that could be dangerous because Gabby was quite clear about how obvious it was when we gave each other the stare.
We stole a kiss here and there, when we were 100 percent alone, and he came over in the afternoons if I wasn’t working. That was when things grew more heated. The tension between us was reaching a boiling point. I almost couldn’t handle it. But it felt so good to be open with him, or as open as we could be while we were hiding.
On Friday evening, I had a shift at the diner. The third one that week. It was as crowded as it was most Fridays. I hadn’t worked a Friday in quite some time due to cheering at the football games, but now that the season was over, I was back in rotation.
Nathan drove me to work and swore that he would pick me up afterward. He didn’t have to tell me what he was doing, I knew that he had a date. It surprised me that there were girls left in Castle Rock he hadn’t slept with. Nevertheless, at the end of the shift, I wandered out to the parking lot. We’d had our first major snowfall that week, and it had been dropping white powder ever since, so the ground was like ice, and it was freezing.
Nathan was nowhere in sight although he’d promised me until he was blue in the face that he would be here. I walked down the sidewalk, pulling my coat tighter while I slid my phone out of my pocket.
Whoever he was with must have been a damn good distraction, because he had never forgotten to pick me up before. I dialed his number, hand trembling, nose stinging, lips quivering. If I had been preparing for a walk, I would have worn gloves and boots, not black lace-ups that were already soaked through.
No answer. I groaned, a cloud of white air billowing in front of me. My thumbs were stiff and rigid, but I managed to tap out a text. It was short because I didn’t have the strength for a long one.
Pick me up!
It occurred to me then that the roads were icy tonight, and it had become slippery and dangerous. I swallowed and tapped out another text message.
Please don’t be dead.
If I hadn’t been so distracted with frustration, I would have hung out at the diner or asked someone for a ride. Hindsight. I was almost frozen, and was losing the feeling in my feet and hands when a car went past me and abruptly slammed its breaks on. It was a miracle that it didn’t lose control.
When I noticed more than just its glowing red lights against the black night, I realized that I knew this car. This Jeep, to be precise. The driver’s door opened and Drayton stepped out. I almost didn’t notice how furious he looked because he was wearing a fitted button-up coat with the collar up and a pair of whitewashed jeans. He looked perfect. But he also looked furious.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“It’s nice to see you too, babe.”
“What are you doing, Dallas?”
“I’m—” I twisted, looking around behind me because I felt as though I was missing something. “I’m walking home.”
“Why? Where’s your car?”
“Nathan’s got it. He was supposed to pick me up, but I think he forgot.”
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br /> “Get in the car.” He turned around and stormed back to the driver’s side. His attitude was frustrating, and usually I would tell him to sort it out before I spent time with him, but I might have ended up with frostbite if I didn’t get into a heated vehicle.
Tension radiated from Drayton, which made the sixty-second trip undeniably uncomfortable. His knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel so damn hard. When we pulled up in front of the house, I was barely out of the car before Nathan swung the front door open and flew out of the house in a panic.
“Dallas, I’m so sorry!” He waved the keys in his hand. “I was literally on my way. I forgot for a sec. I got distracted.”
It was safe to assume that his date was inside. That was literally the only distraction that could possibly keep him from remembering something so simple. I was glad to see that he was alive though.
“It’s fine, Nath—”
“You forgot?” Drayton snapped. I hadn’t even realized that he’d hopped out of the car. “How the hell do you forget your own fucking sister!”
“Drayton!” I held my hand up to suggest that he stop. “Calm down. It’s not a big deal.”
“The hell it isn’t,” he shouted. “Don’t let your sister walk home in the middle of the night. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Take some responsibility!”
I was completely floored at the outburst and when I turned around to look at Nathan, he wore a similar expression to my utter shock.
“Fucking man up,” Drayton snarled as he stormed back toward his Jeep. He hopped in and tore off down the road, leaving Nathan and me on the front lawn wondering what in the hell had just happened.
“Sis, what is wrong with your friend?” Nathan blinked as Drayton’s taillights disappeared around the corner.
“I have no idea,” I mumbled.
As I passed him, I snatched the keys and ran inside. No surprise, there was a girl on the couch. I didn’t even wave. I went straight to my bedroom, changed out of my wet socks and shoes, pulled on some jeans, a sweater, and my snow boots, and then I left again.
I wasn’t a huge fan of speeding. I never had been. But I didn’t hesitate to hit the gas. Of course, speeding when it was snowing was going, like, ten miles an hour, so it wasn’t exactly The Fast and the Furious, but I managed to make good time.
When I pulled into Drayton’s driveway and shut off the car, I saw the Jeep. He must have seen me coming because the front door opened and he stepped outside, closing it behind him.
“Yeah, Dallas, I know,” he grunted. “I flipped out at your broth—”
“You need to tell me what the hell that was about,” I ordered, marching up the front steps.
“It wasn’t about anything.” He shrugged. The fury had faded but there was still a distinct hostility in his attitude. “Leave it alone.”
“No.” I stood in front of him, refusing to back down. “I deserve an explanation. This isn’t the first time you’ve flipped out at me for walking home alone at night. And if you’re going to yell at my brother, then I want to know why. Dray,”—I stepped closer and lifted my hand to the stubble of his jawline, gently caressing the sharp structure of his face—“let me in. Tell me what that was really about. I know there’s something you’re keeping from me. You can trust me.”
I didn’t want to think about the fact that we’d only been seeing each other for one week and we were fighting. He was unresponsive for what seemed like minutes. Total silence enveloped both of us but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Silence never had been with us.
I was relieved when he encased my hand in his own and turned to lead me inside. I’d been willing to let the secrets slide for so long, knowing that everyone has them, and his could be for a good reason. But after tonight, I needed to know, not just out of casual curiosity, but because I couldn’t stand to think of him being tortured by this burden. Whatever it was, I wanted him to know that I was there.
After I removed my boots, we sat down on the three-seater sofa in one of the living areas. It was a beautiful space, aesthetically decorated with decadent art pieces and the same stone theme as the rest of the house. The modern features, like the tinted windows and built-in television, were remarkable, and there was a faux lick of flames coming from the electric fireplace that cast a light mood throughout the room. But all of this was an unfocused image in the background because Drayton dominated all else. He outshone everyone and everything in any room he entered. To me at least.
I shuffled toward him as he took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together, almost as if he was amping himself up for the conversation, mustering all of his courage and strength.
“I haven’t told anyone this before,” he stated with his eyes on the ground. “I haven’t even really said it out loud.”
“I’m here,” I offered. I didn’t want to push him, but he needed to know that he could tell me anything.
“I haven’t always been an only child,” he told me with a voice so heartbroken that it almost shattered my own. “I had a twin sister. Her name was Abigail. Abby for short. She was—she was my best friend. We did everything together, you know? Dad was always taking us on these football fields and carting us around the country, but it was awesome because we always made the most of it.”
He smiled at the floor, his memories lifting his lips.
“When we lived in Texas, we had this group of friends who lived a few houses down from us. We were twelve and our friend was turning thirteen, so he was having a big party, minus alcohol, ya know? It was games like air hockey and pool, that sort of thing. A bunch of kids were invited so we all went together.
“Anyway, I got pretty tired around eleven. We lived down the street, so we walked back and forth all the time. It took us about thirty seconds to get home. I told Abby I was heading home and that I’d come back and get her when she was ready. She just had to text me.”
His head fell, hanging low as a sob racked his body. Watching him in so much pain was beyond unbearable. I’d seen him open up to me, I’d seen him express emotion, but nothing like this.
“The next morning I woke up and realized that I’d slept through a bunch of calls and texts. The last one said that she thought someone was following her.”
He took a moment to steady his voice and wiped his face with the back of his hand. Sniffing before he exhaled, he tried to gain composure. I didn’t need him to finish the story—I knew where it was headed—but I didn’t stop him when he continued.
“They found her body two days later, in a ditch about thirty miles from home. Naked, beaten, and assaulted. They caught the guy. He was just some sick pervert who happened to stumble across her. There was no association. My dad retired from the NFL and we moved here a few months later, in hopes of a fresh start.”
“Drayton, I’m so sorry—”
“Don’t!” He sat up straighter and turned to me with a firm expression, his eyes rimmed red. “Do not tell me you’re sorry. What happened to her is my fault.”
“No, it isn’t,” I argued, picking his hand up and lacing our fingers together. “Drayton, it isn’t your fault.”
“I should have walked with her. It’s my fault.”
“Stop! You were just a child,” I told him with a firm tone. “What about your parents? They should have been picking you up and dropping you off themselves. You can’t shoulder that kind of blame.”
“My parents left a sitter with us. Stupid airhead was obsessed with her boyfriend and not much else,” he growled with disapproval. “They were in Miami for a game.”
“Dray, please, you can’t carry around guilt for something that wasn’t your fault.” I squeezed his hand and didn’t take my eyes off his face. “It’ll make you sick. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Sure feels like it.”
A thought occurred to me and I lifted the sleeve of his T-shirt to reveal his shoulder, where the little boy and girl walked into the sunset. “This is about her isn’t it?” I asked, grazing my fingertips along
the surface of his skin, a field of goose bumps forming in my wake.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, his eyes focused on the hand caressing his shoulder.
“Drayton, if you don’t believe anything else I say, believe this: you are not responsible for what happened.” I tucked my hand around the length of his jaw and caressed his cheek with my thumb. “This isn’t on you. But I understand why you hate seeing me walk home at night now.”
His facial muscles quivered, and it hurt to see him in so much pain.
“That night that you walked away from me in Cripple Creek was—it was—shit. I felt like I was reliving a nightmare. Reliving that night and I couldn’t let it end the same way. Dallas, I don’t like seeing any young girl walking alone,”—he swiveled his body toward me—“but especially not you. Promise me that you’ll always call me if you need a ride. That’s what I’m here for. You mean too much to me. Promise me?”
“I promise.”
His shoulders relaxed and his features smoothed at the verbal agreement. I wished I’d known about this sooner. It brought him into a whole new light. I understood him better than I ever had. He’d been battling this demon on his own for so long, with no one to tell him that he shouldn’t feel the guilt that he did. No one to comfort him when the memories became too much. He pulled me into a hug, and I relaxed into his side, resting my head on his chest. We leaned back into the couch and remained like that for a while. It was quiet. Shadows danced on the dark walls from the faux flames. He smelled different. He smelled the same—intoxicating and alluring—but the nicotine wasn’t lingering. I hadn’t seen him touch a cigarette in a while, and after how wound up he’d been earlier, I would have expected him to turn to his vice. I kept the observation quiet, but I felt hopeful.
After some amount of time, I wasn’t sure how long, his hand began to caress my arm. “Thank you,” he murmured.
“What for?”
“For listening. For understanding and for not making me feel worse.”
The QB Bad Boy and Me Page 21
