I stood—mostly because he had a hold on my arm, but also because I knew that he needed someone right now. Before we could disappear, I turned and looked at Ellie. “Thank you for dinner. Loved it.”
In Drayton’s room, I closed the door and watched him in front of his window. His shoulders were broad, and his jawline could cut the tension that had been felt in the kitchen. Even though he was still, looking into the night, his frame hummed with restless irritation. Relationships between a child and parent were never something that another person should weigh in on; all families were different. But I felt pissed that Leroy chose tonight to grill me over college. It was meant to be his son’s celebration, and he spoiled it.
From that one interaction, it was obvious to me that Leroy was smooth when he was getting his point across. He didn’t need to shout or get upset because his delivery was calm, intimidating, and calculating. I knew what he meant without him saying it once. He didn’t want me influencing Drayton’s college choice. Not that I’d ever attempted to.
Drayton’s sigh was low and exhausted. He didn’t even look this drained after a grueling three-hour practice. I sat down on the bed and waited until he wanted to talk. He knew that I was there. He pulled his hoodie off. It pulled up the T-shirt underneath, exposing his firm torso.
I knew that I shouldn’t drool over his unreal muscle definition at a time like this, but I couldn’t help it. He pulled his shirt down and dropped the hoodie on an armchair beside the fireplace. When he sat beside me on the bed, his familiar scent surrounded me.
“He thinks that I’m going to choose you over Baylor,” he told me.
I wasn’t sure what Drayton had told his parents about our … relationship. Had he told them that it was the real deal? Hell, he hadn’t even told me that. There had been no talk of titles or labels, even if I felt it. I was still uncertain about what our future held.
“I talk about you a lot,” he answered my thoughts. “And a month and a half is longer than any of the other girls have lasted.”
I let out a breath of laughter through my nose and nodded. “I get it. This is new for me too.”
“I’ve obviously dated here and there.” He shrugged, still watching the soft charcoal carpet beneath his feet. I noticed that his socks had little footballs on them. “But most of them dip after one evening in our house.”
“Can’t handle the embarrassment?” I nudged him, referring to the earlier baby momma comment.
“You say that like it’s a joke, but it’s pretty much how it is. I put my cards on the table. I don’t hide much—with the exception of my sister—but most of them want the surface and not the rest of it. They see who I am. Who I really am. And they complain. Nitpick. Freak out that I say whatever I want.”
He turned his head and watched me with that gorgeous green stare. His lashes were thick and framed his almond-shaped eyes.
“You don’t take shit,” he murmured, his gaze sweeping my face, focusing and absorbing all of the details that he saw. “But you’ve never made me feel like I shouldn’t be exactly who I am.”
“With the exception of telling you not to be a jerk to me at school in front of the boys.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss against his soft lips. “I like all of who you are,” I whispered.
“You’re not going to run?”
It was hard to know what would happen after school. Falling in love with someone before I moved was the reason I’d avoided it for so long. And it still scared me.
“No running,” I promised.
This feeling could become so strong that it broke me. But I didn’t want to turn back now. I loved being in love.
Chapter 21
I was not a book person. I was more of a doer. I didn’t love sitting down to read pages and pages of someone else’s life when I could have been living my own, or, even worse, analyzing and writing an entire essay on whatever book the teacher had chosen—not even a book that I’d chosen. It was just … tiresome.
“This is stupid.” I kicked the couch behind me. Gabby and I were sprawled on her living-room floor working on an assignment together. “What does it matter what color the author uses to describe the walls? She probably just picked something and went with it.”
Gabby rolled from her back to her stomach. Long strands of her wild brown hair curtained around her as she stared at me with disapproval. “We’ve been over this a million times.”
“Still don’t get it.”
“Do you want me to do it?” She’d finished her assignment a while ago.
“No, I don’t.” I stared at the paper below me.
“Give me the paper. I’ll do it.”
Full disclosure: my grades would sink if it weren’t for Gabby. She held out her hand. I could feel her stare boring into me. She happened to love doing the work, so I didn’t feel too awful sliding the paper across the carpet.
“This will be your students one day.”
“What?”
“When you’re a professor at some swanky college and your papers are full of intellect and challenge. This will be your students.”
She shook her head, giggling as she stared at the paper. While she got to work, I checked my cell phone. It was Drayton’s actual birthday tomorrow. His parents were out of town. I wasn’t sure where; I hadn’t asked. Josh and Drayton were out getting supplies for tomorrow night’s party. Food. Alcohol—I wasn’t sure how they would manage that one—cups, soda for the sober, and whatever else a house party required. Eight new text messages.
Cheer, should I get blue or purple ping pong balls? Both?
Should I get a rainbow selection of ping pong balls?
I found flavored condoms. You hate cherry, I know this. What about orange?
I got strawberry.
Josh has a Richie Rich haircut. Noticed that? He works it though. Should I do that to my hair?
Na fuck that.
You’re busy huh? English? I’ll see you later? I’ll pick you up from Gabby’s when I drop Josh off. He’s super-excited to have dinner with her mom tonight.
Sarcasm.
The messages made me laugh. I didn’t want to derail Drayton’s plans for his birthday. He had his own traditions. But I did have something planned for the two of us that night while Josh and Gabby were having dinner here with Camilla.
“Drayton will be here soon,” I mentioned, sitting up. I’d been sprawled on the floor for too long, causing my ribs to become sore. “I need to get dressed.”
Her absentminded smile lifted. She was thinking about the fact that she’d get to see her man soon. I felt that.
Gabby continued the assignment so that I could get dressed. I had a duffel bag with me for the weekend. I’d be at Drayton’s that night and the next, so I figured that I would save a trip home and pack what I needed for both. My outfit was nothing special. An oversized turtleneck, boots, and black jeans. My hair was down and straight, so I slipped a beanie on. I was excited about this evening. I was nervous as well. The gift that I had planned for Drayton was a little different, but I hoped that he would love it.
The transition from Gabby’s bedroom to the rest of her house was such a change that you could forget it was the same building. She once worked an entire summer at the bakery with her mom so that she had enough cash to decorate her room. The walls were lavender and the furniture was white. It was simple but sweet.
The rest of the house was older, with patterned wallpaper and couches. Colorful quilts hung from the walls, rugs covered the carpet, patterned vases and wrought iron figures lined the shelves, and there was an enormous square mirror above the fireplace.
“All right.” Gabby stood up from her spot on the floor fifteen minutes later. “I’m done. Mine’s an A. Yours is a B plus. I had to keep it real,” she said. “Do you think Emily will be at Drayton’s tomorrow night?”
“Who knows. It doesn’t bother me. We’re on … civil terms after the whole Lincoln thing.”
“It is killing me that I can’t tell anyone the most scandal
ous thing that’s happening at our school.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned her. The last thing that I needed was Emily believing that I’d spread rumors about her. Not that rumors was the right word. Nonetheless, no one was going to find out. “She’s got it harder than we thought. I feel bad for her.”
“Don’t show her that you care.”
“No, I wouldn’t. That’d make her furious. I think the charity game in February is the last game that we cheer for together and then I’m done.” It was a relief just muttering the words out loud.
The Archwood Wolves and the Kenner Valley Bobcats were having their annual charity game to raise funds for homeless and troubled youth. It was a freezing-cold, extra-long night—longer than our usual matches—but it was for a good cause. Most of Castle Rock attended.
Emily hated it. She made a fuss about cheering in less than ideal conditions and never put effort into the routine. I used to think that it was because she was a soulless shell of a human being. Now I was beginning to think that the whole cause hit her a little close to home.
The front door opened and closed, and then Josh and Drayton sauntered in. Drayton had never been to Gabby’s before, so he looked around the living room for a brief moment before he found me draped across the sofa, scrolling through Instagram.
“Hello, beautiful.” He pulled me up and gave me a kiss.
Josh fell into an armchair and nodded. “Smells good in here.”
“Mom’s cooking chilli,” Gabby informed him, falling into his lap. “It’ll be hot.”
Josh smiled and nodded, then ran a hand through his slick hair. Drayton picked up my duffel and kept me tucked under his arm as he pointed at our friends. “Do either of you want to tell me what the fuck I’m in for tonight? I don’t like being left out of the secrets.”
Gabby frantically waved her hand, her brows pulled tight. “Don’t swear! My mom is here. Are you insane?”
Drayton gave her a blank stare before he shrugged and tried again. “No one? No one’s going to tell me?”
“You are such a baby,” I laughed. “You’ll find out soon.”
He pulled me toward the living-room entrance, waving over his shoulder. “Come on, then. I’m hoping there will be nudity involved.”
The sounds of Josh’s and Gabby’s protests were silenced by the door closing behind us. We made a fast dash for the Jeep. It was cold out as usual, but I hoped that the snow would hold off for a few more hours.
Drayton had been attempting to extract information from me since he’d found out that I had a surprise for him. Josh had been kind enough to lend some assistance—I needed the patio on the second floor set up. I couldn’t do it myself, so he did it for me.
It was the first place that I went when we arrived at his house. Drayton carried my duffel bag.
“I just need to go to the bathroom,” I announced and slipped out from under his arm when we hit the second floor and stopped in front of his bedroom door.
He stared down at me, finger pointing at his room with his lips parted, no doubt to suggest the en suite. But before he could, I spun around and beelined down the hall. The second-floor living room was warm; the electric fire cast a moving shadow on the off-white walls as I moved across to the patio doors.
It was too cold to hang around outside, and it was a rather inconvenient gift, considering the weather, but it was all in place. Sitting on the ground beside a two-seater outdoor sofa draped with rugs and pillows was a lantern, a silver gift box, and a paper bag of snacks. At the edge of the patio, in front of the stone railing was a telescope.
The space was enchanting. There had been a light snowfall since Josh had put this together, but the roof extended far enough that the patio was protected. White powder coated the tree branches, and the railing was illuminated with twinkling white lights that glowed a soft blue against the crisp white.
There were times when I considered the coating of Colorado in ice and snow a total disadvantage, but without a doubt, it was magnificent. The snow appeared so soft, and flurries of snow-flakes danced in the wind. In those moments it was easy to forget just how destructive the snow could be.
My appreciation for the scene in front of me was interrupted when I heard the glass door being tapped behind me.
“What’s all this?” Drayton asked as he came outside.
“Your birthday present.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said as I scuttled over to the sofa and picked up the gift box on the ground. “What’s that?”
“Questions,” I drawled with boredom and shoved the box into his hand. “Open it.”
His curious stare remained on me while he lifted the box lid. I could feel the pom-pom on the top of my hat bopping while I bounced with anticipation. It seemed that I was more excited than he was. He discarded the lid and inside of the box, among blue satin lining, was a framed certificate issued from the Star-Name-Registry.
Abigail Eleanor Lahey
The gift came with its own coordinates and a letter of confirmation. He read the certificate over and over again.
“You had a star named after my sister,” he murmured.
“I swear that it’s there.” I turned around and stared up at the clouds. “It’s just … not the best night for stargazing. But the telescope is here, so we can hang out and hope that it clears up. I also bought this lantern to light in her honor.”
Drayton told me that he usually got blackout drunk on his birthday. It was a coping mechanism and I hoped that I wasn’t overstepping. My heart beat a bit harder when I picked up the lantern and realized that he might hate this entire thing.
“We need a lighter,” I said, aware that he was unresponsive. I was afraid to look at him now. I was afraid that he’d tell me I needed to butt out. “I know that you don’t smoke a lot now, so I brought one with me. We ca—”
My sentence was halted and the perpetrator was his warm mouth. The lantern almost slipped from my grasp when his large hands cupped my neck and his body crushed mine. Drayton ran warm no matter the weather, and the winter chill dissipated as I melted into his kiss.
“You know this is the best thing that anyone has ever done for me?” He sounded breathless as he held my face.
“Really? I was worried that you would be upset.”
“Up-Upset?” he stammered. “No, Cheer. Not a chance. This is so fucking thoughtful. It’ll be as if she’s right here.”
His hands continued to hold me while he stared upward. I wasn’t going to complain about the human heater keeping me cozy. If he didn’t want to let me go, I wouldn’t object. His tortured gaze glistened. It was as if the universe was in his orbs. Dark but so bright.
“She was always meant to be a star.”
“Do you want to light this?” I asked, holding out the lantern.
He dropped his hold on my face and nodded. We wandered over to the railing. Not all aspects of the gift were going in our favor tonight—we couldn’t see the star because of the clouds— but there were no leaves to hide the lantern when it went up. And the snow wasn’t falling.
I handed Drayton the lighter, and the flame glowed, casting a shadow that flickered. There was a cute surprise when the lantern candle was lit—the paper casing had silhouettes of a little boy and girl on all four edges. Each edge had a different action.
The boy and the girl were holding hands.
The boy and the girl were flying a kite.
The boy and the girl were throwing a football.
The boy and the girl were hugging.
Drayton was quiet as he turned the lantern in his hands. There was a small tremor. It was almost unnoticeable, but it was there. Still, he smiled. Even when two or three tears rolled down his face, he smiled.
This was his moment, so I remained at his side but kept quiet as he lifted the lantern into the cold, dark sky and let it go. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and tucked me into his side. He smelled like cologne and the leather seats in the Jeep.
/> We sat down on the sofa and watched the lantern. It was a speck now. A beautiful, glowing speck among the miserable-looking clouds. Sort of like Abigail’s memory, I imagined. The circumstances and devastation around her death were wretched. But remembering her was enough to make Drayton smile, and that was a testament to what a light she was in his life.
The throws and pillows provided shelter against the light wind that picked up. I cuddled into Drayton’s side. We chewed on chips and sour worms.
“She used to tell me that she was going to end up marrying one of my friends,” he said. His arm held me close. “She said that it was obviously going to happen because she’d be at all of the football games and all of the practices.”
“Naturally,” I chuckled.
Billows of white air were expelled with each breath.
“I didn’t approve. We were, like, eleven and she was talking about her future wedding. I hated it. We used to argue, and she’d get in the shit with me.”
Pain tainted his words, tarnishing memories with the inevitable hurt. But his light laugh made it a little less heartbreaking to listen to him reminisce.
“But we had this thing,” he told me. “We didn’t have to talk. We could just … communicate. She’d run up to me after a fight, hug me, and it was good again. She hated the fact that I was so protective of her.”
The end of his words were bitter, like he didn’t think he’d been protective enough. I didn’t want him to do that to himself. “Did she look like you?”
“Same eyes. Similar nose. Hers was smaller. Girlier, I guess. I have photos on my phone.”
He reached into his back pocket. The chip bag slid off the blanket and onto the ground, where I left it. The sour worms had been forgotten as well.
“There’s a whole room dedicated to her downstairs,” he said, excitedly tapping his screen with his thumb. “Mom and Dad agreed not to have photos of her around the house when I started bringing friends home. No one wanted to answer any questions.”
“Here.” He held the phone out in front of me. It was a portrait shot. One that would have been done at school. “That was taken three months before she died.”
The QB Bad Boy and Me Page 26
