She walked out the door and left me in pieces.
I slammed the door behind her and sank to the floor with a lonesome tear in my eye. I spotted my bedroom in the distance. More specifically, the bed and sheets we’d been tangled up in last night. Only now, it felt like a lifetime ago.
It couldn’t be over. Not like this. When I’d done nothing wrong.
I had to get her back. I’d never been a quitter, and I wasn’t about to start now.
Bailey meant too much to me to just let it all go over a stupid misunderstanding.
I opened the ring box and looked at the five-carat diamond I’d bought for her this afternoon. She needed time to think. And I’d give her that. But she was going to give me another chance.
A chance I’d earned. A chance I deserved.
Because no one would ever love Bailey like me.
Chapter 16
Bailey
I was having a really bad week. Like a coward, I’d been hiding it from Carter.
The nightmares. The negative thoughts. The depression. The sadness.
I saw my therapist twice in one day. She recommended having a true heart to heart with Carter. One where I actually spelled out the aftermath of what had happened to me all those years ago.
But I didn’t want to share what I’d been going through. Because it was hell.
Deep down, I was also scared of losing him. What if I opened up my wounds and bled freely? Would my scars make him run? Some days, he was the only good thing I had. I couldn’t give that up.
So I’d been masking my pain with forced laughter and a sappy smile. He didn’t have to hear about the darkness inside me. No one had to. But keeping him out was forging a wall between us. He was oblivious to the racing thoughts in my head. And I intended to keep it that way. At least for a little while.
The truth is, I was on the brink of slipping into that deep, dark place. It was almost like falling for Carter had been a shock to my system. I never thought I’d find a love like this. While it was amazing, I’d been injected with a shot of fear. Because it was so good, so perfect, that I was terrified of losing it all.
We were spending more time together than ever before. Which meant I was hiding behind a veil of insecurity more days than not. Getting here had been hard. But I’d already let him in a little bit.
What would happen if I cracked open the door to my heart and let him all the way inside? He might not like it. There was a lot to see, and it wasn’t pretty. And that was what terrified me.
As I got ready for dinner, my eyes kept watering. I was wearing the red dress tonight. The one Carter loved. His favorite. But I felt like a coward. Because I was shutting him out without even trying.
I pulled myself together enough to fix my makeup for the fifth time. Then I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. I chanted a few positive affirmations, ones my therapist always recommended.
When I made it to the restaurant, Max greeted me at the door. The place was empty.
“Where is everyone?” I asked, looking around.
“We closed early today.” He turned on his heel. “Follow me. I’ll show you where the boss is.”
I took a breath as he led me to the back. But there was no one in the kitchen when we arrived.
“Sometimes, I think I screwed up.” Max made himself a drink at the counter.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Letting Carter steal you away the first night I saw you here in the restaurant.”
“That’s very flattering, Max.” I gave him a smile of confidence. “Thank you.”
“How are things going with the two of you?” he asked.
It was really none of his business. But Max had always been nice to me. So even though I was having a rough day, there was no reason to be nasty.
“Good,” I smiled. “Really good.”
He bit into a lime and then took a shot of tequila. I saw the veins popping out in his arms.
“Where is Carter?” I clutched my purse in my hands.
“He’s planned a surprise. He’ll come get you when it’s ready.”
“Oh.” I lit up. “Did he ask you to hide me?”
Max stared at me across the counter, his jaw twitching instinctively.
“What?” I asked, wondering why he was looking at me like that.
“Bailey, I hate to be the one to tell you this.”
My face fell. “Tell me what?”
“Carter bet two hundred dollars that he’d be able to get you in bed by the end of summer.”
I felt sick to my stomach. I had let him love me, touch me. I’d been such a fool.
“From the look on your face, I’m guessing he won.”
I staggered back and slammed into the wall, feeling faint and out of breath.
“Why?” I gasped. “Why would he do that?”
“It’s not just about the bet. I hate to say it, but I think he had an ulterior motive.”
“And what would that be?” I asked.
“Carter’s been wanting to expand. It’s his dream to open a restaurant of his own. Not just buy and operate a business someone else started. But he’s always had a problem getting investors.”
His words felt like a knife to the chest. “I don’t understand.”
“You were a huge opportunity for him. Benjamin Lewis’s daughter? For a guy like Carter, getting close to money like that could be his golden ticket.”
It all made sense. Why Carter had been so reluctant to date me from the start. He’d even put me in the friend zone instead of cutting me off completely. Because he wanted to use me to get to my father.
Everyone always did.
“Thank you for telling me, Max.” I felt tears brewing in my eyes. “I should go.”
“I’m sorry, Bailey,” he said. “Guys aren’t always how they seem.”
“I know that now.” I pushed the swinging door open and ran into Carter.
“Hey, there you are.” He looked so happy to see me. But it was all a lie.
“Don’t touch me.” I got out of there as fast as my feet would carry me, ducking into an alley to catch my breath. Tears ran down my face as I spotted a brick wall that reminded me of the one he’d kissed me in front of the night we finally got together. He’d stood me up that night. Maybe his conscience had been bothering him.
I went to his place and left my key on his dresser. Then I collected my things. I’d been so stupid to ever think this would work. There had been a million red flags from the get go. If he really loved me, he wouldn’t have pushed me away so much in the beginning. Now all those times finally made sense.
Carter showed up out of breath, dressed in a suit and tie. He looked so handsome, so nice.
We argued. He denied it, playing innocent. So I left.
The truth is, Max’s accusations just confirmed what I’d always feared about our relationship. That he was too good for me. And one day, when he realized it, the best days of my life would be over.
They were now.
I went to my apartment and cried. But everything reminded me of him. So I headed out late in the night to my shop. Despite everything that had gone wrong in my life, it was the one thing that was truly mine.
No one would ever take that away from me.
I locked the door behind me and turned on the lights. But then I saw Carter with his sister, the way he’d touched my arm, held my hand, asked me to join them for lunch. It was all coming back to me now.
Breaking into sobs, I retreated to the back and found solace in my office. But then I remembered the time he’d kissed me with so much passion, so much power. Could it really have been an act?
My phone buzzed in my purse. I didn’t want to check it, because it was probably Carter. But I looked anyway, surprised to find a photo of Grandma Sharon popping up on the screen. If I didn’t pick up, she’d alert every member of my family and then they’d all be blowing up my phone, too.
“Hello?” I masked the sadness in my voice.
“Hi
, darling. I know it’s late, but I wanted to ask you something.”
“Sure,” I said.
She had questions about some fabric. With everything going on, I could hardly add two and two together. But I made my brain work and talked to her about a custom gown. She’d never commissioned a piece from me before. No one in my family had, so I felt awfully proud to make the gown for her.
“I’ll pay top dollar,” she promised.
“Thanks, Grandma. I’ll be happy to design it.”
“Good. So tell me how you’ve been. Are you still with that Carter fella?”
I bit my lip. “Actually, I think we just broke up,” I cried, my throat clogged with tears.
“What on earth for?” she wondered.
“All he was ever interested in was Daddy’s money. Just like Nicole.”
“Who?” she asked.
“Parker’s ex-girlfriend.” I was surprised she didn’t remember her.
“Oh, right. But Carter is a Boudreaux. I know that family. They’re not like that.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I knew his aunt and they weren’t raised like that. Trust me.”
None of it made sense. But I wanted to believe her anyway. It made me feel good.
“I don’t know. Someone who works in his restaurant told me tonight.”
“Told you what?” she asked.
“The truth.”
“Who?” she said.
“Max something. I don’t know his last name. He works for Carter. He was there the night we met.”
“So a man?” It sounded like she was chewing something, probably a late night snack.
“Yeah, a man,” I chuckled, only to keep from crying.
“And you never thought this man was trying to steal you away? Maybe he’s the gold digger.”
I thought about what Max had said.
Sometimes, I think I screwed up. Letting Carter steal you away the first night I saw you here in the restaurant.
“Umm... well, I mean, I don’t really know Max that well.”
“But Carter does. So why don’t you ask him about it?” she suggested.
“I already did. He told me Max was lying.”
“Why don’t you believe him?” She was sipping something now.
I took a breath and walked to the storage room in the back. “I don’t know.”
“There must be a reason,” she sighed, pulling at the thread.
I leaned against the shelves and looked at the ceiling. “Because I never thought someone like Carter would actually want to be with someone like me.” It was the truth. I’d just never owned up to it before.
“What do you mean someone like Carter?” she asked.
“You know. Someone gorgeous and smart and successful.” I could have gone on to say ambitious and strong and kind and caring and thoughtful and a million other things. But I didn’t.
“You mean, like you?”
“Grandma,” I sighed. “I’m just not good enough for him apparently. Without the money, he wouldn’t have even talked to me. It really sucks, because I thought I knew him. It felt real. It felt right.”
“Bailey. You can take my advice or you can ignore it. But I promise you, Carter is not after the money. It’s you that he wants. Can’t you see that? Everyone else does.”
“I don’t know, Grandma,” I said.
“Just talk to him, darling. Give him a chance to explain.”
“He did explain.” I saw something in a box in the corner. “But I think I blew it.”
“Then unblow it,” she demanded, and it made me laugh.
I knelt down and looked inside the box. There were a dozen dead roses with a note attached.
“What?” Grandma yelled. “In the laundry room! Hey, I have to go. Todd can’t find his socks.”
“Okay,” I giggled. “Thanks, Grandma.”
“You’re welcome, darling.” She hung up and I stared down at the folded note in my hand.
Someone must have misplaced the roses by accident. That’s the only way they would end up back here. I was shaking a little as I opened the note. It felt like my heart had been sucked into my throat and the journey had cut off my air supply. But I’d rather perish than not read what it had to say.
I’m sorry about everything.
The truth is, I’m crazy about you.
I was afraid. But I’m not anymore.
Please call me if you still feel the same way.
Love, Carter
A heart wrenching sob escaped my throat. The missing flowers were real. So was the note he had attached to them. Carter was no liar. He was the most honest man I’d ever met. He’d opened his heart to me and shared everything, even the parts he didn’t want me to see. He’d relived the death of his wife just to assure me that I had been the one to pull him from the darkness. Out of the abyss.
Just like he had pulled me into the light.
And I’d gone and ruined it all. Over another misunderstanding.
Realizing my mistake, I grabbed my things and left the shop. When he was trying to explain, I’d never really listened. I’d automatically assumed he’d done something as horrible as reducing me to a mere two hundred dollars. But that wasn’t in his nature. Especially after everything he’d been through with his wife. And Carter didn’t need the money. When I thought about it, Max’s story just didn’t jive.
I ran all the way to his apartment, hoping I wasn’t too late. My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I beat on the door. I had been such a fool, never giving him a real chance to explain. I’d hardly listened at all.
He opened the door and stared, his marble blue eyes wide with wonder.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.”
He leaned into the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest.
“The truth is, I’ve just never understood why someone like you would want someone like me.”
He sighed and looked into the hall, but then his eyes returned to me. “Are you kiddin’ me?”
“After...” I shut my eyes. “I’ve never felt like I was good enough, pretty enough. I’ve been afraid and insecure, especially this week. But I’ve thought you were amazing since the night we met. Deep down, I guess I don’t really believe that I could ever have someone like you. I’ve been scared that one day you would wake up and realize that you’re out of my league. That you could be with someone who—”
“I don’t want to be with anyone else. I want you.” He touched my cheek. “I’ve wanted you from the moment we met. And it had nothing to do with money or your father or a bet. It’s because it was you.”
I leaned my cheek into the palm of his hand. “I’ve had a really terrible week. And I’ve been feeling so low. That’s why it was so easy for me to believe that you’d never wanted me.”
“Bailey, if you’ve been having a bad week, then why didn’t you just tell me?” he said. “You can come and talk to me about anything. Don’t you know that?”
“I know.” I lowered my head. “I’m sorry.”
“Come in.” He opened the door all the way. “Please stop standing out there in the hallway.”
I went inside and looked around. His apartment was the same. He shut the door and turned to me. For the first time, I realized he was still wearing his suit and tie. As I gazed up at him, he pulled me into his arms, hugging my body so close, so tight. It was everything I needed and more.
“I’m sorry,” I cried, burrowing my head in his chest. “I’m so sorry, Carter.”
“Shh...” He ran his fingers through my hair. “You’re forgiven.”
I smiled at him with tears in my eyes, letting out a nervous little breath.
“What’s that?” He gestured to the dead roses in my arms.
“Oh,” I sniffled, drying my eyes. “I found the flowers you sent me. And the note, too.”
There was the biggest grin on his face. “Where were they?”
“In the back of the shop. They must have
gotten mixed in with some of the inventory. Things can get kind of hectic when we have shipments, so it’s not unusual. It’s happened before.”
He looked into my eyes. It felt like we were finally on the same page.
“Why don’t we talk?” he suggested.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I’d like that a lot.”
He made me a cup of chamomile tea, because he knew it helped me sleep. We sat down on the couch in his living room and talked for hours. I told him about my demons, everything that had been troubling me lately. And he listened. He really listened to everything I had to say, never tuning me out.
When I talked about the nightmares, he said he still had them sometimes too. In my dreams, I was locked in a car with the devil and couldn’t get out. In his dreams, he was forced to watch his wife die over and over again. And there was nothing he could do about it.
I never realized he would be so understanding. He must have been exhausted. But he let me talk into the wee hours of the morning. When I was all cried out, he carried me to his bedroom and helped me undress. Then he lay down and tucked me in, curling my body into his arms.
“I’m glad you came back,” he whispered in my ear.
I touched his face as he held my gaze. “Me too.”
We looked at one another for a long time, falling asleep in each other’s arms. Carter made me feel warm and safe. I trusted him to protect me, no matter what. That’s why I’d been a fool to almost let him go.
When I woke up the next morning, sunlight spilled into the room. I yawned and stretched my legs, feeling lazy and sluggish. But then I spotted the time and jumped up in a panic.
“What’s wrong?” Carter asked.
“I am so late.” I slipped into my dress and grabbed my purse. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
He always set his alarm when I spent the night. If not, I would sleep in and be late every day of my life. I had no idea why he’d chosen today to either not set the alarm or silence it.
“Because you decided to take the day off,” he said.
“What?” I froze and stared at him.
An Agreement (Summer in New York Book 3) Page 19
