by Nora Cobb
I enter the building as Anthony corners me. Well, not exactly. I just didn’t expect to see him when I open the door to enter the deck. We haven’t really spoken since Uncle Phil, and I’m having a hard time making eye contact with him. It’s apparent that he hasn’t washed his hair, and his clothes are stained. I wonder if he’s using his supply.
“Hey, Ant,” I try to sound casual, though my knees are trembling. I can’t shake that dirty look he gave me in the cafeteria from my mind.
“Nat, so you’re avoiding me?” he asks.
I look into his eyes, and the gloom in his cold stare makes me look away. My hand grips for the door handle as I back away and step outside, just in case I have to run.
“Look, you really upset my uncle,” I explain, looking around us, “so, maybe you shouldn’t come by anymore.”
Anthony frowns and takes a step back, giving me space. I inhale deeply, not realizing that I’d been holding my breath. It’s lame to use Uncle Phil as an excuse, but I don’t want to have this tough conversation with Anthony, alone.
“I saw you talking to Troy. Is he my replacement?” he asks.
My eyes widen in shock, and my mouth tenses into a thin line. That’s fierce, and I’m not scared anymore. “What do you mean by that?” I shoot back. “I can’t stand Troy. You know that.”
“You used to say you hated him.” Anthony frowns. “After all the things he did to you.”
“And what about all the things you did to me?” My comment wipes the snarky look off his face, and I’m glad. “You ought to be more concerned about the things you’ve done to me.” Maybe, I didn’t completely hate Troy, but his apology sounded more sincere than Anthony’s. Anthony says what he thinks I want to hear, but Troy says what he wants to say.
“It’s not your business,” I continue, “but Troy apologized to me. Not only that, but he’s going to lay off with the bullying. We called a truce.”
“You believe him?”
“I do believe him, because he’s already started doing it.”
Anthony shakes his head like I’m a hopeless sucker for believing whatever I’m told. Maybe that was true once, but I’ve been asking the right questions lately. I step to pass him, but Anthony blocks my way. He places his hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off.
“Don’t touch me.” My tone is steady.
“You used to kiss me,” he replies bitterly.
I can’t look him in the eye. But I try hard. “Anthony, I have to go.”
He scoffs, and his breath floats away in the cold air. “Are you too busy chasing after the captains to talk to me?”
I look him in the eye. “I’m not chasing after anyone. I’m busy getting my life together. My application to Columbia has been deferred, probably because of those selfies you promised to delete but didn’t.”
This time, Anthony looks away. “I apologized for that. Just like Troy.”
“Yeah, but shit still happens when you’re around.”
His head whips around. “What does that mean?”
“It means you keep fucking up,” I reply fiercely. “By the way, were you peeking in the windows at my house?”
He tries to laugh, but he can’t even do it convincingly. “Because you’ve been avoiding me. How else am I going to see you?”
It’s silent as we both regroup our thoughts. My hands are shaking, and it might be better if I ran back to the library. I turn so I’m near the exit door. I take another step away, making sure that we’re visible.
Anthony closes the gap quickly. “You spend a lot of time with Jacob and Lucas. People probably don’t know that we know one another. The only time you sat with me was in the courtyard. No one could see us together there. But you sit with them in the cafeteria. Never me.”
“We’ve sat together in the cafeteria before.”
“Not anymore.” He points his finger at me. “Because you’re too busy hooking up with them. I saw their cars at your house. They stay overnight.”
“You are spying on me.” I back away until I’m standing on the walkway to the library.
“I saw him touch you.” Anthony’s expression is hateful, and my knees start to shake. “I saw him between your legs. You said you loved me. When are you going to show me, Natalie? When am I going to get my chance?”
“That’s disgusting.” I hook my bag over my shoulder. “I don’t want to talk to you right now, Anthony.”
“Too busy to talk to me?” he shouts. His eyes are harsh as his mouth twists into a sneer. “You can’t keep the captains waiting. Who are you going to fuck next?”
I rush to the door, swing it open, and run smack into Beth. Startled, she jumps back as we both drop our bags on the ground. Books, pens, and lipstick scatter on the ground. Beth reaches for her bag, and I reach for mine.
“I didn’t see you,” she says swiftly. “Sorry, Nat. For a lot of things. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
“I can’t now,” I reply.
“I understand,” she lowers her eyes.
“No, I do want to talk, but—”
She follows my gaze, and I can tell by her concerned look that she sees Anthony towering over me. Beth slings her bag onto her shoulder and hands me the rest of my stuff from the ground. She stands up tall, her hand on her hip, and her bottom lip poked out. Beth looks a lot more threatening than I do as she scowls at a disheveled Anthony. Dumping him did her some good.
“Stalking again?” she asks him.
“Don’t start with me,” he replies.
“Why don’t you leave her alone?” Beth continues. “Everyone can see that she’s out of your league. Why don’t you be a good toad and crawl back under a rock?”
Anthony spits on the ground and then glares at her. “Fuck you, Beth.”
She laughs, placing her hand on her chest. “Then I’ll be getting more action than you.”
Anthony smirks. “Finally, you’d have someone willing to do it with you.”
It’s a cruel thing to say. I had no idea that their relationship had hit rock bottom since Thanksgiving. I noticed Anthony sitting alone, but I really was out of the loop on their lives.
“Look, it’s the boy who couldn’t take a hint.” With a snotty grin, Beth takes a step toward Anthony. “Let me list the reasons why she shouldn’t be interested in you. One—she fights your battles with the jocks. Two—you sold roofies to a dickhead and they ended up in her drink, and she was almost raped. Three—her selfies were taken from your phone and ended up on the internet.”
“They were stolen!” he shouts.
“You should have deleted them!” she yells back. “Even I know that. Or lock your fucking phone. Look, you’ve burned your bridges, so inhale that smoke and say buh-bye.”
“You think talking shit to me is going to make you a friend again?” he asks.
“Nope, I screwed up, and I won’t be doing it again. You, on the other hand, will do it again as sure as Cromwell will hold another boring assembly.”
I’ve missed Beth, and well, I’m still upset with her, but thank God she showed up. I whisper in her ear that Anthony is blazed. And she nods her head. But she won’t back down. I just want to get away. I’ll wait for another day to win the battle.
Anthony wavers as he holds his hands out in front of him. “I didn’t do anything on purpose.”
“Natalie, he is not your friend.”
“Shut up, Beth, this doesn’t concern you.”
“You aren’t a friend!” she shouts. “You’re just hoping to get into her pants. That’s your end goal.”
“Natalie,” Anthony looks at me with pleading eyes. “You don’t believe this?”
It’s time for me to take over. “Anthony, you’ve caused me a lot of problems, and all you’re concerned with is when you’ll get me in your bed.”
Beth laughs, and unfortunately, I smile, not because it’s funny, but I’m relieved that I finally told Anthony the truth. There was a moment when I thought it was love, but that moment is gone and forgotten
. Beth wraps an arm around my shoulder, and I wrap mine around her. What she did was really shitty, but if she can help me get rid of Anthony, it’ll make up for a lot.
Anthony’s face is the color of smoky soot. And then, he snaps. “You both think that my life is funny!” he shouts. “Well, you’re a bitch.” He points at Beth. “And you’re a whore.” He points at me, spitting out his rotten words.
Beth and I stop giggling, and Anthony freezes in shock at what he has just said. Beth glares at him and shakes her head, but she knew he was like this the whole time. I stare in disbelief at a boy I once had feelings for, and I realize that it was more pity than love. I’ve always felt pity for Anthony, but not anymore.
“Natalie, I’m so sorry.” Anthony holds his hands out in front of him as if he’s praying for forgiveness. “I didn’t mean to say it.”
Beth scoffs. “But you did, and that’s the problem. You claim that you don’t mean to cause drama. But oops, there you go again.”
“Beth, shut the fuck up!” Anthony shouts.
She doesn’t shut up. “Fine, keep talking, Anthony. Step in it and then put your foot in your mouth.”
I grab onto Beth’s jacket because I don’t want her to go. I need her with me. It was terrible what she did for Arielle, but I’ve seen what Arielle’s influence has done to people. I don’t know why, but I think for a moment about Troy. But Lucas, Jacob, and Beth were all right about Anthony. He has been the source of my drama since the first day when I defended him. I thought he was kind and decent. How was I supposed to know he dealt drugs to Jacob’s teammates? And I was labeled a West Lake user because of Anthony. Would I do it again? Would I defend a helpless person? Hell, yeah. But I’ll also choose better friends.
“Natalie, I really am sorry,” Anthony pleads. “You heard Beth taunt me. She gets me worked up on purpose.”
“Anthony,” my voice is calm as I look him in the eye. “Maybe you should own up to the things you’ve done. And not blame Beth.”
“What do you mean? You heard her.”
“And was she responsible for everything else?” I ask. “Were Jacob or Lucas? Even Troy? You played a part in everything that happened to me here. I don’t blame you, because I made some dumb decisions of my own, but maybe we should work on just being friends again someday.”
Anthony’s mouth drops as he holds his hands out and stares at me then Beth. He looks back at me, and his face hardens.
“Is that how it’s going to be?” he asks. “Well, forgive her, and the hell with both of you.”
Beth and I watch Anthony throw the door open to the deck and storm off towards the quad. The door bounces off the concrete wall, then slowly closes with a low creak. We watch it close, our arms still wrapped around each other.
“I am sorry, Natalie,” Beth says. “It was a dick move.”
“It was,” I agree. “But I wasn’t a good friend. Thanks for helping me deal with Anthony.”
“It really is the least I can do,” she replies. “I hear you didn’t get into Columbia.”
Wow, that spread fast. I shrug my shoulders. “My safety school was Tampa, so I don’t feel bad.”
“Tampa,” Beth’s face lights up. “I’ll have to visit you there.” Her face drops suddenly. “I mean ... well ...”
“Yes,” I pull her forward, and we walk arm in arm to the deck. “You will have to visit me there. After we go bikini shopping at the mall,” I whisper.
“Oh, the mall,” she laughs. “You know, Lexi’s mom has some cool bikinis coming out.”
“Listen to you, Ms. Fashion,” I gasp in mock surprise. “You still hang with Lexi and Cora?”
“Yes, but don’t tell Arielle.”
“Yeah,” I tease. “I’ll mention it tonight during our nightly call.”
“You know what I mean.”
“What is up with Cora?” I ask as we climb the stairs.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, she talked to me one day and gave me a cryptic warning about Troy.”
Beth and I stand near her car. Mine is two levels up. Beth opens the lock, not meeting my gaze as she thinks of a way to answer my question. “Cora is cool. Cooler than Lexi. She’s not hanging with Arielle as much as she used to because she likes Mancuso, and Arielle is a solid snob. He’s not old money, and Arielle doesn’t want him at the first table.”
“What a snob. Cora’s her friend.”
“Well, Cora’s in love with Mancuso, and I think she’ll be loyal to her man.” Beth switches on the motor. “Let me walk you to your car. And text me when you get home.”
I’m so grateful not to walk to my car alone. I hop into her car. “Thanks, Beth.” I’m not ready to talk about everything. Baby steps are necessary.
“You’re welcome, Nat,” Beth smiles. “Let me know when you want to catch up.”
CHAPTER 23
Arielle
Lucas has been avoiding me, and the whole school knows it. It’s undeniable. He actually sits at the table at the far end with Jacob and Natalie. A few times, Troy has joined them, but he prefers to eat at the second table or with his teammates. I’ve tried to make nice with Troy, but he’s stubborn and proud. He’s worse than me. He got caught in the crossfire, but it couldn’t be helped. Tossed like a dirty tissue.
Troy must have been delusional to think I’d marry him over Lucas. His mother has no breeding with her tacky overdecorated house and those hideous floral displays on every surface. Maya was actually expecting to plan my wedding. Please. She met his father while working as a server, or maid, or whatever.
Cora is pouting again. It doesn’t help my status if she sits there looking miserable. People would once stop by our table, but now, they hurry past. My marriage is making me look bad, and these girls are making me look worse.
“Cora?” I glare at her. “Stop looking like freakin’ orphan Annie. If you’re going to look miserable, maybe you should sit at the other table with ... Troy.”
Her shoulders sag when I say Troy’s name. I know exactly who she wants to sit with, and it won’t happen here. I don’t get the appeal of Mancuso. He’s a loud buffoon with new money. I think he actually likes wearing polo shirts and khakis. Ugh.
I know I’m in a shit mood, but I would be happier if everyone around me didn’t look bummed.
“They should have a requirement,” I announce, startling Cora out of her daydream, “that your wealth be traced back three generations.”
“I agree.” She smiles, swishing her black bob around her angular shoulders. She’s the only person I know who can look anorexic in a cable-knit sweater.
“That’s right, Lexi,” I smile kindly, “because you would be attending West Lake.”
Lexi frowns. “No, I wouldn’t. My father’s family has a title.”
“A title without money from what mythic country in Eastern Europe?” I scoff. “It’s useless as nipples on a breastplate. What’s the point?”
Lexi sulks as she crosses her arms in her lap. “Where’s Lucas, Arielle? He could cheer you up.”
Cora shoots her a look that I wasn’t supposed to see. She then looks at me anxiously, knowing that the comment will piss me off. It does, and I dive in.
“Your nail polish is not apple red.” I grab Cora’s hand. “I thought you were going to stop wearing pearl gray.”
“I didn’t have time for a manicure.” Cora yanks her hand out of my death grip and rubs it. “I wanted silver nails for Valentine’s ...”
Lexi nudges Cora but it’s too late. So, she went out for Valentine’s while I was handcuffed to a piece of Danish furniture. It was humiliating. After I came, I realized that Lucas had taken off with the key. I had to wrap myself in a bedsheet while I shoved my toy box under the bed. I didn’t have Taylor’s number, so I had to call my mother and talk to her for an hour before she finally called Taylor.
For once, Taylor hadn’t been drinking, but she laughed like a drunk, pointing at me until I broke an expensive lamp. She called the police for a key to u
nlock the handcuffs, she claimed. When they asked where Lucas went, I guessed that he was in the woods, or at the school. Later, I was relieved that he was in jail and not at Natalie’s house. My Valentine’s Day sucked, and if Lexi and Cora were smart, they would say theirs sucked worse.
“I wear pearl gray to show off my ring,” I flash it in the light. “I don’t want you dragging your knuckles around Montlake wearing the same shade.”
