But when I thought about it, it made sense. Clash had a sort of loyalty to me, but I knew that his ultimately his loyalty was to the Fallen Lords.
I wasn’t a part of the Fallen Lords.
Not really.
Wrecker, Pipe, Nickel, Maniac, Boink, Slayer, Brinks, and Freak were part of the Fallen Lords. Those were the people that Clash would be loyal to a fault to.
Not me.
“I know you’re looking to move out of the clubhouse, and I want you to know whatever you need, I’ll be there to help you.”
I went numb and everything around me changed. I nodded and cleared my throat.
“Thanks. I’ll remember that.” I would remember a whole hell of a lot more than that. I would remember that everything I said to Clash could and would be repeated to Wrecker. “I actually need to run to the bathroom. Could you take these over to the table?”
Wrecker studied my face, but I must have been putting on a good face because he nodded his head and agreed. “Not a problem.”
I plastered on a smile and made a quick detour over to my purse that was sitting on a table with all of the other girl’s stuff.
Cora’s keys were sitting next to my phone, and I grabbed both of them. I made my way to the bathroom, knowing I couldn’t just run out the front door.
I spotted a side exit on the way to the bathroom, and I was out the door before I could really think about what I was feeling.
The key was in the ignition and my foot was on the gas pedal before I realized what I was doing.
I was running, and Clash wasn’t coming with me.
*
Chapter Twenty-Two
Clash
Raven.
Beautiful. I need you to call me.
Just text me to let me know you are okay.
I scrolled through all of the messages I had sent her the last four days, and she hadn’t replied to one of them.
I had gone to the bathroom at the bowling alley. It seemed like the time was perfect for her and Wrecker to finally talk. Everything was good, and then suddenly, it wasn’t.
No one knew why she ran.
She was there, and then, she was just gone.
For two days, I was convinced that someone had taken her, but the fact Cora’s keys and her car were gone told us that Raven had taken the car again.
The only difference was this time, she wasn’t answering my calls or texts.
We had searched every inch of Weston, and there wasn't a trace of her. It was like she had just disappeared into a cloud of smoke.
There was only one thing that was giving me hope.
The house she was buying was still under contract.
Her realtor didn’t know where she was or what she was doing, but she did tell us that Raven had called to let her know she was going out of town, but she would be back in time for the closing on the house.
That was twenty-one days from now.
Three weeks and Raven would have to come back to Weston.
I wasn’t going to stop looking for her until then, but I knew she wasn’t going to make it easy for me to find her. Something had hurt her to make her run.
Wrecker was adamant about the fact that everything he and Raven had said was good. They hadn’t argued, and she hadn’t seemed like she was about to run.
He was as clueless as I was about the whole thing.
I looked around her room and sighed. Everything was still here except for her computer and some clothes. We had figured she must have made a quick pit stop at the clubhouse before leaving town.
She was gone right now, but I knew she would be back.
I just had to find a way to be patient and to not move heaven and earth to find her.
*
Chapter Twenty-Three
Raven
“Is there anything else I can get you, dear?”
I shook my head and handed her my debit card. “My waistline can only handle one croissant a day.”
Lori smiled and swiped my card. “I think the table you like to sit at is open.”
I grabbed my coffee and croissant. “Perfect. I’ve got a project I need to finish up before I head back home.”
“Closing on the house already?” Lori handed my card back, and I tucked it in my pocket.
“Yeah. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been three weeks.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun.” Lori winked.
I wouldn’t go that far, but time sure did fly by. “I’m sure I’ll be back up here for lunch later. Thanks, Lori.”
I made my way over to the table by the window that I liked to sit at and set my computer, coffee, and croissant down.
For the past three weeks, I had been renting a room above the Sweet Bite bakery in Milfred Square and staying off the radar of the Fallen Lords. I had stolen Cora’s car again, but she would have it back tomorrow when I signed the papers on my new house.
After that, I wouldn’t be able to hide from the Fallen Lords anymore.
Clash texted me every day.
He called every day.
I had figured after a few days, he would just leave me alone but his calls and texts never stopped.
He wasn’t as easy to shake as I thought he would be.
I was only an hour away from Weston, but it was far enough that no one ever came looking for me here.
Clash wasn’t the only one who had called and texted me.
Wrecker called every day and left the same message. “It’s your brother. Call me so I know you are okay. Also, get your ass back home.”
Every day the same and every day, I erased the message.
The only messages I didn't erase were the ones from Clash.
I was mad he had talked to Wrecker about me. The fact I was moving was mine to tell.
I was pissed that, once again, the MC was more important than me.
But none of that was enough to make me erase those messages.
There was so much going on in my head.
I should have told Clash that I didn’t want him talking about me to anyone. Especially Wrecker. I had just taken the first step to moving past everything with Wrecker and then the fact Wrecker knew something about me he shouldn’t have freaked the hell out of me. Did Clash tell him I was moving because he was supposed to be keeping an eye on me or had he just told a concerned brother that his sister was moving? I hadn’t known the answer to that, but my instinct was to run.
I knew Clash couldn’t read my mind, but to me, it seemed like common sense that I didn’t want him telling my business to Wrecker.
My common sense obviously wasn’t the same as others.
My phone buzzed, and I didn’t have to look to know it was Clash texting me.
Morning, beautiful.
He still called me beautiful. He still texted me even though I had taken off without a word.
For a week, I had been pissed and justified my leaving by telling myself he had chosen the club over me.
Now I felt like a moron for running but didn’t know how to fix it without looking like a psycho.
Tomorrow, I was going to have to face the music, and while I wasn’t looking forward to it, I knew things would finally be ironed out tomorrow.
The messages Clash sent me suggested he would listen to me, but I didn’t know if he would like what I had to say.
I was going to lay it all out and hoped to God he wouldn’t run for the hills when I told him the Fallen Lords had no place in my life.
*
Chapter Twenty-Four
Clash
This swing was going to need some oil or something. It was squeaky as shit, and it was about to drive me fucking insane.
It was half past eleven, and I was sitting on Raven’s porch swing waiting for her.
At first, I had thought about meeting her at the realtor’s where she was supposed to sign the papers, but I didn’t want to upset her and ruin the happy moment.
Instead, I was gonna ruin the moment she stepped foot in her new
house.
“Fucking shit.” I shot up from the swing and was about to leave when Cora’s car pulled up to the curb and Raven stepped out.
She looked the same as she had three weeks ago.
Long black and red hair, svelte body, tattooed arms, and the small hoop in her nose shone in the sun.
She looked gorgeous.
“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” she called. She reached into the back seat and grabbed a manila folder and her computer bag.
At least she was expecting me.
She walked up the sidewalk and stood at the bottom of the porch steps. I moved to the top step and looked at her.
“Would have showed up three weeks ago if you had told me where you went.”
“Milfred Square.”
My jaw dropped. “You happen to make it into Sweet Bite?”
“Uh, almost every day. They make a killer croissant.”
I nodded. “Lori take your order?”
“Hold on. How the heck do you know about Sweet Bite and Lori?”
I laughed and shook my head. “‘Cause I used to live there, and Lori is my mom.”
“Oh, my God, “ she gasped.
“Gotta admit, it is pretty surprising you wound up there.”
Of all the places Raven could have gone, she wound up in the same town as my parents.
She fidgeted with the keys in her hand. “Just seemed like a good place to stop.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets. “You think maybe we can talk?”
She bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah. I was gonna come find you if you didn’t find me first.”
She climbed the steps toward me, but I didn’t move back when she was just a step down from me.
“I tried finding you, Raven. Everyday.” I just never thought to check Milfred Square. I took a step back, and she stepped up the rest of the way.
“I didn’t want to be found.” She dropped the manila folder next to the front door and set her computer bag on top of it.
“Everything good to go with the house?”
She nodded and wiped her hands on her pants. “Yeah. Went smooth.” She pulled a two keys out of her pocket and held them up. “It’s all mine. Well, the house and a pretty big mortgage.”
I sat down on the swing and patted the seat next to me.
She sat down, and we sat there swinging in silence.
“I don’t really know where to start, Raven.”
She turned sideways on the swing. “Then let me.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m a bitch, Clash.”
“No you're not, Ra—”
She put her hand up in my face. “Yes, I am. It’s okay, Clash. I’m not stupid. I fully embrace the fact that I’m a bitch. It’s just who I am.” A smile spread across her lips. “Although I’d like to think I’ve been a nice bitch these past few weeks and I think I’ll stick with that. I’ve got an attitude and just like you said, I had one hell of a chip on my shoulder.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “And you had a huge part in helping me get over that. I’m not fully over my past, but you helped me understand that while it sucked back then, it’s my past and that it shouldn’t continue to define me.”
“I said that?”
A light laugh escaped her lips. “No. You’re really not that good with words, but I know that’s what you were helping me to do.”
“Then why did you run, Raven? I thought everything was going great and then you were gone.”
“This is where I look like an idiot,” she sighed.
I grabbed her hand and threaded my fingers through hers.
“You told my brother I had bought a house. Instead of running, I should have told you to keep your damn mouth shut when it comes to anything about me.”
I pursed my lips. “Uh, no, I didn’t.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, you did, Clash. You don’t have to lie to me.”
“Raven. I haven’t told anyone you were buying a house. Even right now, I’m the only one who knows this is yours.”
She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. “But Wrecker told me he said I knew I was moving.”
“Beautiful, I swear on my fucking Harley, I never told Wrecker you bought a house. I had just mentioned to him that you were looking at places but you weren’t finding anything you liked. That was before you even put an offer in on this place.”
She dropped her chin to her chest. “Oh, my God. I’m an even bigger idiot now.”
“You thought I ran to Wrecker and told him your business, didn’t you?”
She slowly raised her head and shrugged. “Maybe?” she drawled.
I threw my head back laughing. “Fucking hell, Raven. Why would I tell Wrecker your business? I know you have issues with him and I didn’t want to cross the line when it came to him and you.”
“I just thought that you told him because technically you’re supposed to be keeping an eye on me and reporting back to Wrecker. In my head, you chose the club over me because you were telling Wrecker my business because that’s what he wanted you to do.”
“Jesus Christ, Raven. You think maybe you should have asked me what the hell was going on instead of running away? I haven’t thought of you as a job for weeks. Even before that, when I did feel that way, I knew there had to be a hell of a lot going on with you for you to be acting the way you were.”
“Clash, I suck at relationships,” she whined. “I told you Mayra was the only friend I had and all I did was work. Besides, the only experience I’ve had with the club is the whole debacle with Wrecker choosing the club all of those years ago. He chose the club, and I figured you had just done the same thing.”
“Did I at any time seem like I was choosing the club over you? Hell, Raven. I was the one who told Wrecker to go away when he was being a dick.”
I thought she could see that. If I had been siding with Wrecker and reporting back to him with everything she was doing, she would have known that. Wrecker knew absolutely nothing about Raven while I was watching her. Boink had kept an eye on her when she first came to the clubhouse, but once Boink had shit going on with Mayra, Raven had become my responsibility.
She bit her lip. “I know,” she muttered. “I just…it was easier to believe that you were just hanging around to report back to Wrecker than that you actually wanted to be with me. And, in my defense, I haven’t had a good track record with people actually sticking around.”
I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her waist. “Then I guess we’re going to have to work on that.”
She draped her arm across my shoulders and cradled my cheek with her hand. “I’m legit a hot mess, Clash. I’m still working on wrapping my head around everything that happened with Wrecker. I’m starting to see why he didn’t fight for me, but I still have days where it hurts like it just happened.”
“Raven, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. It was a mistake that was made that set off a chain of shit for you. I think if you were completely fine and weren’t upset about it, I would be more concerned.”
Her fingers traveled over the stubble on my face, and she smiled.
“You can’t smile like that and not expect me to kiss you, Raven. I’ve finally got you back in my arms and it’s taking everything I’ve got not to lay you down in the backseat of Cora’s car and have my way with you.”
“What’s stopping you from kissing me?” she whispered.
“Not a damn thing.” I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips against hers.
It was a sweet kiss.
A kiss that held a shit-ton of promise and a hope for a future together.
“No one really knows I’m here?” she whispered against my lips.
I shook my head. “Not a soul. Wrecker has been going crazy looking for you, but I didn’t tell him about the house. All I knew was you hadn’t canceled the closing so I figured you would be back. Also, the fact I could see you were reading my messages.”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Damn iPhone te
lling on me that I would read your messages as soon as you sent them.”
I pressed a kiss to her lips. “That helped me, too”
“Though I am glad it doesn’t show you how many times I listened to your voicemails and read your messages.”
“Oh yeah?” I laughed. “You telling me that you missed me?”
She held up her finger and pointed finger an inch apart. “Maybe just a little.”
“I missed you a hell of a lot more than that, beautiful.”
“As you should,” she sassed. “I am, after all, a prize idiot to have.” She scurried off my lap and held the keys to the house in the air. “Now that we’ve figured that out and you know I’m an emotionally stunted fool, let’s go check out my new house.”
She stabbed the key in the door and swung the door open. Before she could step inside, I swung her up in into my arms. “Clash,” she screeched. ‘What are you doing?”
“Carrying you over the threshold.” I walked into the house and turned in a full circle with her in my arms. “This place seems huge with no furniture in it.”
“Speaking of that.” Raven looked at her watch.
“Speaking of what, beautiful?”
A horn sounded outside, and huge smile spread across her lips. “The furniture is here.”
“So while you were hiding in Milfred Square, you were giving your credit card a workout?” I laughed.
I set her feet on the floor but she held onto me and pressed another kiss to my lips. “I’m happy, Clash,” she whispered.
“Good, beautiful. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
*
Chapter Twenty-Five
Raven
“Did you see her bed?” Mayra asked.
Karmen pointed at Mayra. “Yeah. I already told Nickel we seriously need an upgrade.”
Nikki ran her hand over the arm of the couch. “I’m more in love with this couch. I don’t even want to know how much you spent on this. It feels like butter under my butt.”
“Butter? Under your butt?” Alice laughed. “I’m gonna have to talk to Pipe and ask just what you guys are doing. I might have to tell Wrecker to pick up some butter on the way home.”
Fallen Lords MC: Books 4-6 Page 45
