The Ghost Detective Books 1-3 Special Boxed Edition: Three Fun Cozy Mysteries With Bonus Holiday Story (The Ghost Detective Collection)

by Jane Hinchey

  Crossing to the whiteboard, I updated the information I had on Lacey. She might be crazy psychotic, but was she a killer? I still couldn’t figure out a motive for her, and if Ben or Anita didn’t return soon, I’d go talk to her myself and get to the bottom of it.

  Returning to the computer, I began a check on Noreen. Now that I had the proper authorization, running checks would be one of the first things I do, I promised myself. I was reading through Noreen’s results, nothing shocking there, when Ben returned.

  “So?” he asked, laying a hand on my shoulder, making me jump. “How did the exam go?”

  I twisted in my seat to smile up at him. “I passed!”

  “Woop!” he cheered, “I knew you would. Well done, Fitz. We should celebrate.”

  My face fell. “I wish. But you’re a ghost, how can you celebrate with me? And none of my family are taking my calls—although I did tell Mom.”

  “Hey, I can still celebrate, I just can’t drink, which means all the more for you. Have you looked outside? The sunset is spectacular. Why not grab a beer and watch the sunset with me on the back deck?”

  “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.” I stood, stretching out the crick in my back, and padded through to the kitchen, my shoes long since kicked off and lost beneath the desk. Grabbing a beer, I headed out to the deck. Ben hadn’t been wrong, the sky was a work of art, streaks of oranges, pinks, and purples, blended vibrantly across the horizon.

  Lowering myself into one of the wooden recliners, I swung my legs up and leaned back, the warmth of the setting sun washing over me. “This is perfect,” I sighed, taking a swig of beer.

  “It sure is.” Ben agreed, taking the seat next to me.

  “Can you feel it?” I asked.

  “Feel what?”

  “The warmth of the sun?”

  He turned his head to look at me. “No, Fitz. I can’t feel anything.” And just like that, his words had my mood plummeting. Was I selfish in keeping Ben here, even though he’d assured me it had nothing to do with me, and it was his own personal choice not to move on? I wasn’t sure I was buying it. But I also wasn’t sure I was ready to let him go.

  “I mean, in the physical sense,” Ben continued. “But I can feel emotionally. For example, I can see the sunset, and that makes me feel good. I can remember the physical, I can imagine the heat of it, but it’s the emotion, the memories that surface of how many sunsets I’ve sat here, nursing a beer, winding down from a hectic day, that makes up for not feeling the physical.”

  I know he meant to be reassuring, that he didn’t want me to be maudlin. Still, his words brought back the tragedy of his death, that feeling the sun on his skin and the wind in his hair was no longer an option for him. That’d he’d never get married, have kids, grow old. I didn’t realize a tear had escaped and was rolling down my cheek until he tried to wipe it away. The shot of cold on my heated flesh was startling, and I sucked in a breath.

  “Sorry.”

  I smiled. “It’s okay.” I took another swig of beer. “Tell me about your day. What did you get up to? Did you find out anything?” Talking about the case was a sure-fire distraction.

  He jumped to his feet and started pacing. “I did. I went looking for Anita but missed her at home, but Tyler was there, so I figured I’d hang around, see what I could find out.”

  “And?”

  “He’s really good at Call of Duty.”

  “You watched him play video games?”

  He had the grace to look sheepish. “For a while.”

  I shook my head and took another swig. “Please tell me you discovered something.”

  “Actually, I discovered something really cool!”

  “Oh?”

  “It’s hard to describe, but I can… see... phones.”

  “I can see phones too, so what?”

  “No, I mean, I can, like, go into phones and see the data. Even though I can’t physically touch things anymore, it’s almost like I can travel the data waves.”

  I blinked in shock. “That could really come in handy,” I said more to myself than to him. No wiretaps. Just send Ben in. “How did you discover that?”

  “I was sitting next to Tyler on his bed, he kept checking his phone—I assume to see if Lacey had messaged him. She hadn’t. And then he tossed the phone aside, and I automatically went to catch it ‘cos he’d thrown it where I was sitting. Of course, it sailed right through me, but as it did, I got this flash, like millions of data transfers all at once, messages, photos, a big jumble of it all.”

  “Then what?”

  “I placed my hand over the phone, just enough so it kinda disappeared beneath the surface, but not all the way through. And if I concentrated, I could control what I saw.”

  “And? What did you see?” I scooted to the edge of my lounger and swung my feet to the deck.

  “Messages between him and Lacey. R rated.”

  “Urgh.”

  “And photos.”

  “Ewwww.” I cringed.

  “But, I’ve solved the mystery of the missing necklace.”

  “It’s what we thought, isn’t it?”

  He nodded. “There’s a photo on Tyler’s phone of Lacey wearing the necklace.”

  16

  I was thinking of how we could get the necklace from Lacey and back where it belonged when the doorbell rang. Heading inside to answer it, I almost tripped over Thor, who bolted toward the front of the house. “Someone’s here, someone’s here!” He meowed.

  “I know, I know.” I laughed, padding to the door and flinging it open, remembering belatedly that I should have checked through the peephole first.

  “CONGRATULATIONS!” The crowd screaming at me from my porch startled me so bad I jumped back, tripped over Thor, and landed with a jarring thump on my rear. My beer slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor, rolling away, leaving a trail of beer bubbles as it went. I looked up at my family, who stood frozen in the doorway.

  “Thought you’d have at least saved your beer, Audrey.” Dustin teased, stepping forward and holding out a hand to haul me to my feet.

  “I wasn’t expecting to open my door and be yelled at.” I protested. Dustin picked up the beer and demolished what was left.

  “Sorry, Aud.” Laura hugged me. “We didn’t mean to scare you. We’ll clean that up, don’t worry. But more importantly, congratulations, little sis, we are so proud of you.”

  My smile couldn’t get any wider, despite the throbbing in my ass. Did butt cheeks bruise? I must remember to check. Behind Laura and Brad was Mom and Dad, then Dustin and Amanda, and way at the back, Galloway. Their respective children raced past me, dutifully treading in the puddle of beer as they went.

  “The whole gang’s here.” I hugged everyone as they filed past. “We’re out back, enjoying the sunset.”

  “We?” Amanda asked.

  Shit. Me and Ben. But I couldn’t tell them that. “Me and Thor.” I pointed to my cat, who was now on his back, paws in the air, enjoying rather rough belly pats from Madeline, Nathaniel, and Isabelle.

  Mom ushered us all out onto the deck, taking over cleaning duties from the beer that had now been trampled through the house. Dad thumped his cooler down, flipping the lid open to reveal cider and beer.

  “Thanks, Dad. This is perfect.” I grabbed a cider, handed Galloway a beer, then headed down the steps to the grass where the kids were running around like mad things.

  “You’d think they’d be tired after a full day at daycare.” Laura sighed, watching the youngsters.

  “I get tired just watching them.”

  “Same.”

  Galloway slid an arm around my shoulders and tucked me into his side. I happily leaned against him. It had been wonderful sitting out on the deck with Ben, but with my entire family and Galloway? It was perfect.

  “We’ve ordered pizza,” Dustin said, handing Laura a can of soda. “Hope you didn’t have any plans.”

  “Nope.” I grinned. And if I had, I would have gla
dly canceled them to spend time with my crazy family. “So I take it you were all ignoring me on purpose?”

  “Sorry.” Laura squeezed my hand. “We wanted this to be a surprise.”

  “You surprised me all right.” I rubbed my butt that now felt kinda numb, and everyone laughed.

  “Well done, Audrey.” Amanda joined us on the lawn, her heels sinking into the grass. “Your mom is right, we’re all very proud of you. None of this can have been easy, not only the workload but you know…Ben.”

  “Thanks, Amanda.” I raised my cider in a silent toast.

  The sun continued its slide over the horizon. As the colors faded, we sat along the back deck, watching until the last rays disappeared and the night crept in.

  Behind us, the sliding door opened, and Mom said, “okay, everyone, inside. Dinner’s ready.”

  Galloway helped me to my feet, and we dutifully filed inside. My mouth dropped open. Balloons and streamers decorated the dining area, at least ten pizzas stood stacked on the table, along with two bottles of champagne.

  “Mom.” My eyes filled with moisture, and I blinked to clear my vision.

  “Darling, you are worth every effort. I’m sorry you felt like we were all ignoring you today. Because we were,” she giggled. “But, we were planning this.”

  “When did you decide all of this?” I waved my hand at the helium balloons dancing on the end of their weighted ribbons.

  “Last night. After the two of you left.”

  “Your mom called me today to clue me in,” Galloway whispered in my ear.

  “You guys are the best. I’m so glad to have you as my family.”

  “Gah,” Dustin snorted. “Let’s eat before you get all mushy.”

  The kids were set up with a picnic blanket on the floor, Thor in amongst it all trying to steal as much pizza as possible. No wonder he was getting fat. After the adults were seated at the table, I looked at the empty chair to my left, complete with place settings. “Are we expecting someone else?”

  “It’s for Ben.” Mom paused. “All of this was possible because of him. He deserves a seat at the table.” Silence descended, and everyone looked at me, waiting for my reaction. Ben, who was standing a few feet away, gave me the thumbs up. I wished I could tell my family the truth, that his ghost was here, but I wasn’t sure they were ready to hear it. I especially suspected Amanda would arrange some sort of mental health intervention if I told her the truth.

  Instead, I smiled, pulled out the seat, and said, “of course he deserves a seat at the table.” And because I’d made space for him, Ben came and sat next to me. “Thanks, Fitz.” I raised my cider to him and toasted. “To Ben.” The others scrambled to do the same bottles and glasses clinking as they toasted the ghost of Ben Delaney.

  After we’d demolished the pizzas, Mom handed me a small wrapped box. “This is for you. To mark the occasion.”

  “Mom!” I protested. “You didn’t have to get me a present.”

  “I know we didn’t have to. We wanted to. Go on, open it.”

  I blinked, feeling all misty-eyed again, then ripped open the silver wrapping paper with its matching bow. Inside was a long slim box. Flipping it open, I gasped. Nestled inside was a smartwatch with a white strap and rose gold face. “It’s gorgeous,” I whispered.

  Mom beamed. “We’ve all seen you drop your phone a million times, so we figured having a smartwatch would maybe stop you needing to reach for your phone so many times.”

  “Practical and stylish.” I winked at her. “It’s perfect, Mom. And Dad. Thank you.”

  “This is from us.” Laura tossed a package at me, and it hit my chest before I could catch it. It was wrapped in children’s birthday wrapping paper, and she shrugged when I shot her a look. Tearing it open, I barked out a laugh. Inside was a gag gift — a pen that wrote in invisible ink.

  “Every gumshoe needs an invisible pen,” Laura giggled.

  “Indeed. Thank you, another perfect gift.” I smiled so much, my face hurt. Amanda handed me a bigger, elegantly wrapped present. “I figure this might come in handy.”

  “Thanks, Amanda and Dustin.” Tearing away the paper revealed a leather compendium with my initials emblazoned on the front. I ran my hand over it before opening it to reveal the diary inside. “It’s lovely, thank you.” It was. Each of them had gotten me the perfect present, and it wasn’t even my birthday.

  “Don’t forget me,” Galloway said into my ear, surprising me by handing me a box.

  “You didn’t have to get me anything.” I protested, and he laughed. “Sure. I have a feeling I’d never hear the end of it if I didn’t.”

  “True.” Tearing into the wrapping paper, my eyes rounded in disbelief at the gift he’d bought me. “A stun gun!” I squeaked in delight. Not only that, a pink one.

  “A stun gun and torch.” He grinned. “Considering how your shooting practice went, I figured keeping it simple—for now—is an excellent strategy.”

  “She can’t zap herself with that, can she?” Amanda asked. I shot her a frown, although her question wasn’t too far off of what I was thinking. But at least if I zapped myself, it wouldn’t be as devastating as shooting myself.

  “Not if she’s careful,” Galloway replied.

  “Can I see it?” Dustin asked, and I handed it over, watching as it made its way around the table, everyone fascinated by the electroshock weapon. I just hoped I’d never have to use it.

  “Why a stun gun and not a taser?” I asked Galloway.

  He snorted. “Have you seen you fire a gun? A taser works on the same principle. Allows you to defend yourself from a distance. However, the chances of you hitting who you are aiming at are slim to none. While a stun gun can’t be used from a distance, if an assailant gets too close to you, one quick zap will subdue him. Or her. Even a warning zap without making contact can be enough to deter someone from attacking provided it’s a quick burst — you don’t want to deplete the charge.”

  “This would have come in handy on Saturday with Mills.” It was an offhand comment, but Galloway’s face darkened, and his eyes flashed. Ben was eagerly following the stun gun around the table as everyone oohed and ahhed over it.

  “It would have been perfect. And Mills would have deserved it one hundred percent.”

  I squeezed his thigh under the table. Galloway had been furious when he’d discovered what Mills had done and had only just managed to stop himself from rearranging the other man’s face… with his fist. But a formal investigation was underway, and Mills would finally get what was coming to him, I was sure of it.

  Isabelle chose that moment to start wailing, and Laura rushed to pick her up. “We should get going, it’s getting late, and this one is tired.” She soothed the rambunctious toddler who settled her head on her mom’s shoulder, struggling to keep her eyes open.

  “Yes,” Dustin stood, “time to get our rug rats bathed and into bed.”

  “Thanks for coming guys.” I smiled and began to clear up the plates when Dustin said, “catch!” and threw the stun gun across the table. It’s like my own brother doesn’t even know me. Since when can someone yell, catch, and then throw something at me and expect me to actually catch it? But instinct had me trying, anyway. Dropping the plates back to the table with a clatter I reached out both hands, made contact with the stun gun, only my grip was awkward, and the gun was facing the wrong way. My way. As the fingers of my left hand wrapped around the grip, the prongs connected with my right forearm, and the world spun off its axis.

  There was a cacophony of sound, none of it legible. As two zillion volts tore apart every vein in my body, my skin caught on fire. It melted off my bones, and my hair literally sizzled on my head along with a thousand pop, pop, popping sounds. My internal organs rearranged themselves, each one vying for space in the back of my throat. Pretty sure my ovaries along with all my eggs packed a suitcase and declared they were moving out, there would be no little Audrey’s in this lifetime thank you very much.

  Time slow
ed down, each second lasted an hour until my soul was burned to a crisp.

  “Damn. Shouldn’t have charged it.”

  “Isn’t there a safety switch?”

  “Oh my God, would you look at her hair… is that normal?”

  “Hey, Fitz. How you doing?” It was Ben’s voice I focused on, for he stroked my hair back from my face, and with his ghostly touch came blessed coolness.

  “Do it again,” I told him, turning my face toward his hand.

  “What?”

  “Touch me. Your skin is so cold. It feels good.” I sighed. My eyes were still closed, either that or I’d gone blind, but I heard the startled whispers. “Who is she talking to?” “Do we need to call an ambulance?”

  “She’ll be fine in a minute.” Galloway’s voice, strong and in command. “Let’s just give her some space. Maybe you guys should get your kids home? Read them a nice soothing bedtime story, so they don’t remember seeing their Aunt flying through the air?”

  Oh, my God. The kids had seen. Oh, the poor babies, I’d traumatized them for life.

  “Are you kidding?” Brad said. “They thought it was hilarious. Madeline thinks she was dancing.”

  I groaned. I wasn’t sure what was worse, that my nieces and nephew had seen me stun myself, or that they thought I was performing some sort of weird interpretive dance. Yet another Audrey story for future generations to dine out on.

  “Why is she talking to herself like that?” Amanda wanted to know. “Has she acquired a brain injury?”

  “She’s disoriented, that’s all. It’ll pass.” Galloway replied. “But seriously, you should all go home. She’ll be fine, honestly. Let this be a lesson to everyone here tonight — stun guns are not toys. No more throwing them at people.”

  “Sorry.” Dustin sounded truly chastised, and I would have kissed Galloway if my limbs weren’t wet noodles. I also had a sneaky suspicion I’d peed myself, for while most of my body felt like a thousand red-hot needles were digging into me, my groin had a sense of soothing relief. A damp soothing relief. I groaned in mortification.