by Nikki Rae
I was about to slam the door shut, but his hands clamped around both of my ankles and he dragged me from the seat as I clawed in vain to maintain higher ground.
My back hit the dirt hard, sucking the air from my lungs. There wasn’t time to catch my breath. Before I could roll over, he was on top of me, simultaneously shutting the door and sealing off any light. My Owner attempted to keep my hands still, but I wasn’t done.
I had no plan as to where I would go, what I would do, but I couldn’t let him take me. Not again, and not when so much teetered on the balance of me getting away.
Bucking beneath him, my weak muscles and even slower mind were no match for his weight. As he fought my every movement, I somehow managed to take him off guard with a knee to the groin. With a grunt, he momentarily reared back. This bought me enough time to free my wrists, but only until he caught them mid-air and easily pinned them against my chest with one large hand.
Panting, he leaned over me. I could see his lips moving but between the rain pounding down around us and my pulse, I couldn’t decipher what he was saying. My vision had blackened around the edges again, and I struggled to keep myself lucid.
Master Lyon brought his face closer to mine, and I didn’t hesitate to ram my head into his nose. Bright blood trickled to his lip and he wiped it away. It was eerie how unfazed he was by the pain. I couldn’t feel anything either, even as I took in the torn skin along my knuckles.
Nothing filled the air besides our grappling as he encompassed me with both arms, drawing me to my feet as he led us to the back door of the SUV. My strength returned in waves, and my legs immediately stiffened in front of me as he tried to lift me into the car. Each time I fought, Master Lyon appeared less surprised, more difficult to evade.
The light inside the cabin disoriented me for only a second, but it was all he needed to shove me into the back seat and lock us both inside. I backed against the opposite door, terrified of what he would do now.
Wordlessly, he stretched between the front seats and fiddled with something from the glove box. He returned with a paper napkin, which he used to clean away the remaining blood. When he was done, he balled it up and left it in the center console.
“Now.” His voice was rough as he struggled to keep his composure. “Are you going to behave?”
The way he spoke made something inside me snap, and without anywhere for that energy to go, I unleashed all of it on him. I was a fury of arms and legs, hitting anything I could. A scream ripped through me as my fists pounded his chest and ribs, competing with the thunder outside. It wasn’t long before he halted me again, pinning me to the leather.
“Stop this,” he whispered just above my gasping breaths. “You’re going to get hurt.”
He’d worded this carefully, and the threat pricked my ears. Without another thought, I spit into his face. Seeing I had no more fight, no way to flee, Master Lyon released me with a short, low laugh. Not bothering to clean his cheek, he delivered his own saliva with such force it made me close my eyes as it struck my forehead.
Master Lyon took advantage of the diversion to flip me onto my stomach, hand clamped around the back of my neck and pushing my face into the seat. Knee between my shoulders, he wrenched both of my arms behind my back. I cried out when I heard his belt unbuckling, but he quickly wound it around my wrists, rendering my hands useless.
Out of breath, he hooked one of the seatbelts through my bonds so he could step out of the car and go around to the trunk. I didn’t dare move; it was over.
He returned moments later with a duffel bag I assumed he’d packed for this occasion. Taking a deep breath, he righted me so I was sitting up straight, tucking my hair behind my ears.
I jerked away, biting the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t spit at him again.
“You aren’t well,” he said. “What did you take?”
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. Zoe had been trying to help me, not keep me locked up tight so no one would steal me from my Owner.
“Fawn, talk to me.”
I could feel the fragile expression on my face crumble to tears as he unzipped his bag. By the time he was looking at me again, I couldn’t hold them back any longer. Master Lyon opened my water bottle and brought it to my lips, but I was so wracked with sobs that I couldn’t drink and he took it away. He sat beside me, waiting for me to calm. If Marius were here, he would hold me, tell me it was all right. My Owner refusing to touch me was logical—I’d fought him every time—but it was also a form of punishment.
Once I’d quelled most of the tears, he tried again to give me water and this time I drank it. Though it was small, I heard a relieved breath escape him and it gave me hope. If he still cared about my wellbeing, he couldn’t hate me—not completely.
“What is it you want, Fawn?”
He asked this gently, but it was so abrupt it made me jump.
As I lifted my head so I could look at him, he whispered, “I’m listening now.”
My chest hurt with all the things I wanted to say, but I started with my demands first.
“A shower,” I croaked.
Master Lyon eyed me, but he kept his mouth shut so I would continue.
Clearing my throat, I added, “Food—warm food and a bed.” I coughed, mouth tasting of dirt. “And I want to talk. I want—” I panted, not knowing how to say it all in one breath; it was impossible.
He cocked one eyebrow, but then finally accepted my terms.
“All right.” I didn’t flinch when he stroked my jaw, and I let him help me lie down. From the same bag, he produced some kind of wipe, which he used to mop up the grime that clung to my face. I didn’t move as he did this, mindful that this might be the last time he touched me with any type of affection.
“Close your eyes and rest for now.”
An order spoken in the softest of tones, but it was one I obeyed whether I wanted to or not.
The rocking motion of the car made my stomach more uneasy, but my throbbing head commanded I close my eyes.
I didn’t open them again until I felt the tires slow to a stop. With my arms behind me, I was disoriented, unable to balance. Master Lyon opened the back door to assist me, but I didn’t want him to touch me right now—it hurt too much. He seemed to realize this and let me go.
Kneeling in the space between the front and back seats, his eyes traveled to my face. “Can I trust you?”
I nodded.
“No more running?”
When I looked at him, I wasn’t sure I could lie. That’s what it would be, and I think we both knew it. Even after this issue was resolved, there would still be Vultures. There would still be enemies to House Chimera. Figures in the dark awaiting the right moment to snatch us up like fairytale villains. If by some miracle the Order finally did collapse, then we would spend the rest of our lives separating ourselves. One way or another, people like us were always on the run.
He took my silence as an answer and leaned me forward until my head was against his shoulder. I felt the muscles in his arms as he untied me from the seatbelt, the beating of his heart. When he was done, I pressed into him more, soaking up his warmth despite everything.
“Can you walk?” he whispered, bringing my hands to rest in my lap as he moved away.
I nodded, and as soon as he’d helped me from the car, he led me through a parking garage with bright fluorescent lighting, making everything around me dance with sparks and color. No sooner had he slung our bags over his shoulder, I all but fell into him.
The rest of the way, he carried most of my weight and I kept my eyes closed, knowing wherever he was guiding me, it didn’t matter. Nothing did right now. Each time I tried to grasp what was happening around me, the details floated away, leaving only faint outlines.
I was half-conscious of the elevator ride, stopping at a concierge desk. Fleetingly, I thought we were back at the beach cottage.
“Zoe,” I mumbled into his chest.
Master Lyon pulled me closer as they spoke. Soon, I w
ould be back in my room with Marius there to soften my Owner’s blows in whichever form they chose to take this time. I would be safe.
There was another elevator, and that was when I knew it was a lie. We were caked in dirt, but nowhere near the beach. Even so, I was still with my Owner. At one time, that would have been admitting failure, but for now, I was home.
When we stopped at our floor, he lifted me, and I wrapped my arms around him like he was the sole thing keeping me from falling apart. My head spun, and my stomach roiled, but my mind refused to acknowledge this. Instead, I clung to my Master, and he held me just as tight.
I had no recollection of him opening the door, but as he set me down on a soft surface, I fell into him again, unable to balance.
“Elliot,” I slurred, a wave of prickly heat creeping up the back of my neck.
Unable to keep my eyes open, I felt him holding up my head, trying to get me to look at him.
“I don’t…” My mouth slammed shut as a surge of bile filled the back of my throat, and then the world around me turned black.
Ten
When I next woke, my head pounded, ears hot and goose bumps on my skin. I was in a bright bathroom, cold white linoleum under me as I hugged the bowl. Even this didn’t feel real, more like a dream where I couldn’t control what was happening, yet I knew it would end eventually. When I was done, Master Lyon gave me water from a plastic cup, which I gulped down before losing track of time again.
Later, I was more awake, but my vision had yet to clear. Blinking, I let my eyes adjust to the dim light given off by a lamp beside the bed. I lay atop deep brown covers, hair braided to one side and skin clammy. On the white end table beside me was a pitcher of water and a glass. Mouth unbearably dry, I reached for it.
I managed to pull myself into a sitting position, but my limbs were too heavy and my head hung between my shoulders. The sudden hand on my back made me jump and I nearly fell over, but he steadied me from the opposite bed.
“Are you going to be sick again?”
Taking a deep breath, the room finally stopped spinning. “No,” I whispered. “I don’t think so.”
He poured the water for me himself, helping me hold it to my lips when my hands trembled.
When I was done, he set it down on the nightstand and stood. “Come with me.”
As if I had a choice. Master Lyon pulled me from bed, cradling me against his chest as he headed for the bathroom. It wasn’t until he turned on the shower that I realized we were both still muddy from our scuffle in the woods.
My Owner unzipped the jacket he had let me borrow and I’d subsequently ruined, letting it fall to the floor as the space filled with steam. I flinched when he toyed with the hem of my shirt and he immediately stepped back.
“I need to see if you’re hurt anywhere else.” Gently, he grasped one hand to show me the dried blood on my knuckles, the bruises on my arms.
I undressed, staring at the steam accumulating on the glass surrounding the shower until I could no longer see through it.
Lifting my hair, he unclasped my necklace, but made sure to set it on the vanity by the sink so I could see it would be waiting for me. “I’ll leave you be if you sit. I don’t want you to fall.”
My nod sufficed as enough of an answer, and as soon as I was safely shut inside, he retreated to the bedroom. Even from the floor, hot water pounding against my back, I was freezing. The steam did nothing but make me shiver, and every muscle in my body ached. This didn’t feel like altitude sickness or fatigue from traveling. Maybe I really was rotting from the inside, filled to the brim with black tar that needed to come out.
I watched as the dirt washed down the drain, unable to bathe or wash my hair until the water became cool. Long after I turned off the stream, I sat in the quiet, listening to the droplets as they slid from one surface to another. I tried desperately to close off the part of my mind that contained all my failed plans, Zoe, Marius, the people I didn’t even know. Forcing my thoughts away from them sent me bounding into images of Odette as Gregor waited for me. How much was he hurting her or others in the meantime?
My teeth chattered and I couldn’t get my legs to work. Soon, my Owner had returned, knocking on the glass. I inched backwards so he could open the door, but other than that I couldn’t move. He was still fully dressed, down to his socks and shoes. There were a few patches of dirt on his jeans, but it was minimal compared to my soiled clothing rumpled in the corner.
He dried me with a towel and dressed me in one of his own T-shirts and boxers. It was like he could reclaim me this way, rejecting what I’d chosen to take with me and replacing them with what was his.
“We’ll get you something that fits better tomorrow,” he said as he helped me to my feet. “Right now, you need to rest.”
I wanted to argue, but it would get me nowhere, especially in my current state.
“Are you hungr—?”
I shook my head before he could finish. “C-can I just lie down please?”
Although he held both my hands in his, I couldn’t shake the sensation of plummeting to the ground, which seemed so far away. Guiding me back to the bed, he rested my head against the pillow and covered me with a sheet.
I closed my eyes, the room too bright and everything else too vivid. Master Lyon left my side so he could come back with a cold washcloth for my head and bandages for my hands. We were silent as he disinfected and wrapped the wounds, which were more sensitive from the shower. I winced as he turned my wrist.
“It’s probably sprained,” he said under his breath, using a different type of gauze to keep it still.
We both jumped when his phone vibrated on the table. He strode over to answer it, and after what felt like an eternity, he said into the receiver, “Yes, she’s with me.”
There was a reply on the other end, then silence.
“I will explain everything when I see you. Just don’t talk to anyone.”
He hung up without entertaining the idea of me speaking to him, but it didn’t matter. Marius had been informed of my capture and he was moving into a new phase of our plan we hadn’t discussed: what he would do if I didn’t escape my Master.
Returning his supplies to his bag, he slid it to the end of his bed. “Sleep now,” he said close to my ear.
“I…” It seemed forever before I could find my voice again. “I’m afraid you’ll hate me in the morning.”
He hadn’t anticipated a response like this; I could tell by the way his muscles tensed. “Oh, Fawn,” he breathed, voice just as quiet and strained as mine, “I could never hate you.”
I believed him. I just hoped he could be as forgiving when the sun rose.
***
My dreams chased me, ranging from pleasant to horrifying. Usually when I had nightmares, I could wake myself, stop the events from happening or avoid reliving them. I was granted no such privilege this night.
Teeth pierced my skin like needles laced with poison. Air couldn’t get to my lungs as the Vultures locked me in a cage, buried me under six feet of dirt. Somewhere, I heard my Owner’s voice. Soothing what he couldn’t fathom, trying to reach me under the waves. Already, I’d forgotten how to swim. To breathe.
When my eyes next opened, it was because the sun had risen. Someone had cracked the large window in the center of the room; the curtains were parted so I could see the city coming to life below. I had no recollection of where we were, how far we’d traveled. My eyes drifted across the space to find Master Lyon sitting at a small, circular table. I felt less sick as I inched up the headboard, but the uneasy feeling in my stomach returned when I took in his face. What he’d done.
He had gone through my bag—all my supplies and a few changes of clothes were lain out like surgical instruments he would use to cut me open.
“Is there something you’d like to tell me, Doe?”
My head throbbed, vision still fuzzy around the periphery. He could have found the book, the card I’d hidden, but it was missing from the array of i
tems. I wouldn’t bring up anything until I knew what he was after.
“I’m not sure what you mean, sir.” My throat was raw.
The first he chose was the water bottle, pouring until the hotel’s glass was halfway full. He held it in front of me when he returned to the bed, but when I reached, he stopped me.
Master Lyon brought the cup to my face so it was eye level, swirling the liquid until it was obvious what I was meant to see: at the bottom, white particles spun in the current he’d created.
“Still nothing, Doe?” His tone was pleasant, but it sounded forced.
I was speechless, just as confused as him.
Shaking his head, his knuckles were white around the cup as he set it down. “I know…” My Owner seemed to struggle—for what to say, how to keep calm. “I know it hasn’t been easy,” he said before facing my direction again. “But this isn’t a way to cope, Fawn.”
His voice was gentle now. The way he spoke to his horse.
My head had begun to throb again, and I eyed the pitcher sweating with condensation knowing fully well he wouldn’t give me a single drop until I gave him what he wanted.
“Please,” I barely said, hand flying to my temple as a sharp pain echoed through my ear. “Please explain what’s going on.”
Though the hardness in his eyes hadn’t faded, the way his fists relaxed against his jeans told me he could hear me over everything else. As if it had just occurred to him, he poured me a glass of uncontaminated water, which I had to hold with both hands as I gulped down. “You’re going through withdrawals, ma petit.”
Master Lyon’s hand stretched as if to reach for my leg under the sheet, but he stopped himself when I sat up straighter. “I don’t understand.”
“The effects come and go as the drug leaves your system.”
My tongue felt too thick in my mouth; the words wouldn’t come. “What drugs?” I practically whispered.
He moved to the other bed so he could better look at me, or perhaps put more distance between us. Inclining his head towards the milky substance that had settled at the bottom of the other glass, he said, “Cerberus dust,” like it was obvious. “How long have you been taking it? I assume a prolonged period, since you need to have an immediate supply.”
