Not now, I told myself. If we had time, maybe we could talk about it later, maybe I would ask him why. I’d certainly asked myself why a million times and I’d never figured out the answer. Maybe he had one.
“Stop it,” he whispered, those oh so familiar eyes on me.
“Stop what?” Though he and I both knew what. I was a worrier. He’d never been but there were worry lines on his face now, lines I’d never touched, didn’t get to see grow there. That familiar ache rose in me and I ruthlessly pushed it down.
“Why do you have so many clothes on? I thought you put on those damned silk PJs.”
He laughed, ducking his head into my neck to nuzzle at the sweet spot near my collar bones. “I was going to go for a walk to try to keep myself from knocking on your door.”
“How’d that work for you?” I asked, a little breathless as he drew his tongue over my skin then blew on the wet spot.
“Well, I didn’t even make it past your door.” A thumb slid over my nipple and back. I pressed up against him, wanting more than what he was teasing me with now. He would have obliged me once, in as much of a hurry as I was, but he must have learned a little bit of patience since then because he let up, his fingers brushing lightly on the side of my breast, almost but not quite a tickle. “I was hoping you’d come to me.”
“You think I’d be so forward.”
He snorted. “Uh, yeah.”
“Sorry I disappointed you, horn dog.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Woof.”
“That’s it. You have to do all the work.” He rolled to his back, taking me with him and then I was straddling his body, his easy grin reminding me why I’d fallen for him.
The jerk.
“If I’m doing all the work, I’m in charge,” I said. “Get naked.”
There was a bark of laughter from Jake ... and a chuckle from the main room. Heat, all liquid and light, filled my body. I’d always been one who liked it when someone watched me come. Or listened. He knew it, knew how wet I got when I had an audience. I’d fucked him once, long ago, at a party. We’d had people listening at the door; we both knew they were there and despite his reservations at first, I couldn’t help but get louder and louder, until he realized that I was into it. Really into it.
We experimented a lot after that.
Got warnings by the local sheriff not to have sex in Jake’s truck or my car. Not to let him find us in the orchard naked again. Little did the sheriff know, his warnings only served to stoke the fire rather than dampen it.
I helped him with his shirt, unbuckled his belt, then wiggled his tight jeans off his hips. When I did, his erection sprang free, its beautiful length ready and willing. “I want you inside me.”
“I want that too, sweetheart.”
I climbed back on him, shifting until the tip of his cock was poised to spear me. I eased myself down on him slowly, watching his face, the play of emotions, of desire there. He filled and filled me until I was gasping with it.
“They’re listening, Dez. Give them a show.”
The low moan of desire spooled out of me at that, at the picture in my head of the three other males outside the room, maybe standing in the doorway watching. Another moan. Another. He always knew what to say, what to do to make me so hot I thought I might self-combust right there on top of him.
“You’re so beautiful. I missed you, missed the way you throw your head back when you’re overcome with passion, missed the way you say my name.” His fingers gripped my hips, guiding me along his shaft. “I missed you.”
My breath caught in my throat.
“I shouldn’t have left you.”
“Jake, don’t.”
His eyes gleamed in the moonlight. “We could have made it work.”
With him inside me, his hands on me, his eyes filled with emotion and promises, I could almost forget why we were doomed from the beginning.
Almost.
“Don’t talk. Just fill me, Jake. Fuck me for old time’s sake.” His hands tightened on me, those work-roughened hands, and I moved my hips harder, faster, wanting him to forget what we had. It was too late for that. We had now, though, and that was what I wanted to enjoy. We’d fuck, we’d tangle up after, and then I would leave so he couldn’t get hurt, so the reasons why we parted ways so long ago wouldn’t come back and bite him in the ass.
I should have kept my door shut, I knew that. But I was selfish enough that I opened it and let him in. Selfish enough to be here on top of him, feeling his cock slide deep inside me, seeing his beautiful face contort with his pleasure. He still wanted me. Maybe he still loved me.
No, Dez. Do not go there.
I curled my fingers into his chest hair and squeezed. He hissed, popped his hips upward to fuck me harder, just what I wanted. Needed.
Desire built within me as I pictured the shifters watching from the doorway. I had no idea if they were actually there or not, but I pretended it was so, pretended they could see my ass spread from Jake’s hands, see his cock plunge inside me, see his balls tighten as he came closer to coming.
I thought of all times I’d wanted to get kinky with him, all the times I’d begged him to take me up against the wall or pull my hair. He’d been young then, too timid. Was he too timid now? I wanted to ask but didn’t. Couldn’t. If I asked him, he’d do it. He’d do it and I’d stay, and I’d put him in danger.
Gods, I wanted more, wanted everything he could give me and more.
“Come for me, Dez. Come for them. They’re watching.”
I had no idea if he was telling the truth and it didn’t matter. The thought of their eyes on me opened me up inside and my orgasm poured through. The noises I made were primal. My sweat-slicked body shuddered as it thundered through me. When I felt the heat of his own release inside me, I came again. There was something so primal about being filled with a man’s come, at least for me.
He rolled me, still thrusting slowly inside me, cock jumping with his orgasm, pressing himself up tight inside me.
My muscles trembled as he bit down on my neck, claiming me the way he used to. I whimpered with pleasure, spinning away into the fog of eroticism. He knew me, knew what I liked, what I needed. My fingers curled into the flesh of his back, making him growl low in his chest. The sound rumbled through him, making my hips jerk in response.
Oh gods, I still wanted him. Still wanted to be with him.
What kind of fucking cruel world did I live in that I couldn’t have him?
Chapter Eight
I’d planned to slip away that night, but instead, I fell asleep in his arms. When I woke, I was delightfully sore and sticky. Jake was curled up next to me sleeping like a dead man, his body heat causing us to sweat where we touched. I slipped from his limp grasp and went to the bathroom to shower.
My neck was red from his bite, the teeth marks making me feel a little weak-kneed with the memory. I wanted more of that, more of the claiming, but I couldn’t have it. “Off limits,” I whispered to my reflection. My eyes were droopy with remembered pleasure and I smiled at myself before climbing into the shower to wash off the night before.
Once I was clean and my hair finger combed, I dressed in a new set of clothes dropped off sometime that morning by hotel staff. I wondered if Alexa was keeping a tab and wondered how the hell I’d ever pay her back for what had to be five-hundred-dollar jeans with an equally expensive silk cami and buttery soft sweater combo. The underwear and bra were equally decadent and fit me perfectly. Jake again or did Alexa’s goddess powers extend to knowing exactly what size I wore?
I decided I didn’t want to know.
I ate breakfast with the shifters, feeling downright dainty with my plate full of food, considering their meals consisted of a lot of lightly cooked meat of all kinds. Steak, deer, roast pork, chicken and turkey. Bones included. You’ve never lived until you’ve eaten with shifters who had jaws and stomachs strong enough to devour whole sides of beef, bones and all.
It was noisy.
They all hesitated until Jake dug in, probably wondering if I would be grossed out. Maybe they’d forgotten or didn’t know Jake and I had once been a thing. Our thing hadn’t just been about sex. He’d invited me to his den, where his first wolf pack lived, though it hadn’t been an actual cave as I’d first naively pictured. Jake’s family was well off, their pack home well-appointed and well-built. Two stories and a basement. I’d been everywhere inside, accepted as one of them, my null ability a minor nuisance. Wolf packs were stronger when they were together, and my power-sucking barely registered there.
The first time I’d ever seen someone shift was at Jake’s house. I’d eaten with them, slept over—well-supervised by his mother and sisters—and been accepted as much as any non-shifter could.
Then ... and then ...
“You okay?” Jake asked, a particularly drippy slab of meat lifted halfway to his face.
“Yep,” I said, blinking away the memories. No use in looking back. I wasn’t going that way. “These pancakes are amazing. Maple-blueberry syrup is my new favorite thing.” I licked the fork in illustration and paused when I saw four sets of greedy eyes on me. I finished up nice and slow, then sent my tongue darting out for the last little bit on my upper lip. “Mm.”
Jake shifted in his seat and I dropped my gaze to my plate to hide my smile. “So,” I said, knowing I had their full attention. “What’s the plan? We can’t hide out here forever.”
“Well, we can, and we will. Until the rest of the pack from Omaha can get here, we’re staying put.”
I was shaking my head as soon as he said Omaha. “I’m not going back there.”
“It’s the safest place for you.”
“Nope.” I pushed my plate away and stood, cleaning my fingers more thoroughly than I might have usually. Usually, I would have wiped them on my jeans, but who does that to Lexi Mortis originals? Not this crass bartender. “Not happening. Tell you what. You guys cause some sort of distraction and I’ll slip right on out the back.”
“And go where?”
“I don’t know. Away. I’ll hide in New Orleans.” I knew where I would actually go, had been planning it ever since Persimma got her damned fey claws into me, not that I’d tell Jake that. “It’s dripping with tourists right now and will be for months. I’ll just hide in plain sight. The oriales will have the ghosts of Past Days so stirred up, no one will be able to see the brown- and blackouts.”
Oriales were spirit-workers and didn’t technically work with magic. They worked with the dead, talking to them, helping them, harming them if they were dicks, and generally stirring up messes to keep themselves relevant. Kastigas was a month-long celebration of the dead and most of the twelve islands had some sort of festival, but the denizens of New Orleans took everything—including Kastigas—to extremes.
“You’re coming with us and that’s final,” Jake said.
I narrowed my eyes at him. The bossy shit started and ended in the bedroom. He knew that, knew I hated it when he acted like an alphahole outside it.
“Boss, I think she’s figuring out how to dismember you in your sleep,” Michel said with a cheery grin.
“Probably. Fact remains, it’s not safe anywhere else. The pack can protect you, Dez. Really protect you.”
“I would be smothered. For all your good intentions, that’s what ends up happening. You smother. All you shifters do, with your puppy piles and kitty clumps and whatever the fuck you are.” I narrowed my eyes at Simon, whose expression didn’t change under my scrutiny.
“I forgot she wasn’t one of us,” Giles said. “Ordinary sniffers must be so boring.”
“Well, I can’t smell dog shit a mile away, so not sure that’s true,” I shot back, and he nodded.
“You’re right. There are downsides.”
I pointed at Michel. “Wolf of some sort. Not the same as Jake, but close.” I skipped Simon and said, “Big kitty. Not a tiger. Not a lion. Puma?”
He snorted.
“Snow leopard.”
His eyes widened. “How the hell did you guess that?”
I didn’t want to tell him that Nicta, Persimma’s sister, had kept one as a pet for a dozen or more years. The leopard had a similar dismissive attitude for pumas and so I’d taken a guess. Things hadn’t ended well for the leopard. I didn’t say that either. I turned my gaze back to Simon. “I’m getting serious cat energy from you, too, but I don’t know what the hell kind.”
“Exactly.”
I waited but he said nothing more. “What?”
“He’s a hellcat,” Michel volunteered.
Oh. “Okay?”
“He’s a shifter within a shifter. Hellcats are slippery bastards. When he wants, he can be a snake, a cat, a wolf, an oct—”
“Shut up, Michel,” Simon said, his eyes still on me. “Cat energy, huh?”
I shrugged, intrigued though I didn’t want to admit it. What did a hellcat look like? What did any of them look like in their animal forms? I knew what Jake was like, remembered the beautiful reddish-brown of his fur, how thick and smooth it had been as I ran my fingers through it. He was a gorgeous wolf.
I had no doubt these beautiful men would have equally beautiful animal forms. Too bad I couldn’t stick around to see them. “Fine,” I said, startling all of them into silence.
“What?”
I shrugged, putting as much nonchalance into the gesture as I could. “I’ll go. I don’t want to, but I don’t see any other option right not. But you will not put me under pack protection. Understand?”
“Dez,” Jake started, but I held up my hand.
“Non-negotiable. Or I take my sweet ass to New Orleans and party with the dead.”
“Party? More like join them,” Simon muttered.
“If you’re under pack protection—” Jake started but I cut him off again.
“I’d be subject to your commands. No fucking way. I’m my own person.” Sort of, Persimma’s hold on me notwithstanding. “Deal or not?” I plunked a hand on my hip and glared at him, daring him to press his luck.
Finally, he sighed and made a show of looking like I’d bested him. “Fine.”
I knew it was a lie. I knew he’d try to wrangle me into pack protection the minute I stepped foot on their land.
Good thing I didn’t plan to step foot anywhere near his den. I’d be gone long before morning.
Chapter Nine
I went to Alexa. It wasn’t ideal, but there was no way in hell I’d be able to slip away from Jake and his minions, especially since I was sure he didn’t believe a word of my acquiescence. I wasn’t the acquiescing type. He knew it. I knew it. Perhaps I could have fooled the other three, but I was guessing they had good bullshit meters.
The goddess was wearing a gold bikini as she lounged on her balcony and she gestured me over languidly, the staff who let me into her suite fading silently back inside. The sun was bright, and I immediately wished for my own swim gear. I wouldn’t look as good as Alexa, but that didn’t bother me. She was a goddess after all.
“How are you enjoying the suite?”
“It’s amazing.”
She tipped a look at me over her glasses, the small smile dancing on her ruby lips making me wonder if she didn’t have the damned place bugged. “Good. Now, what do you need?”
Putting it all out there. All right. “I need to slip away from Jake and his shifters. Tonight. He’s wanting to take me back to his den and hide me away from the world.”
“And that doesn’t appeal to you?”
“No.”
“But you care for him.”
I stilled, looking out over the city instead of at her. Damned prying goddesses. Even as a null, I couldn’t escape her all-knowing gaze, curse it all. “I do, which is why I need to get as far away from him as I can.”
“Why?”
“Because Persimma will kill him,” I said bluntly. “When she wants me back, he won’t give me over. So, she’ll take me and kill him.”
Alexa p
icked up a violently orange drink and sipped at it through an equally obnoxious pink straw. “Why do you think she’ll come for you?”
“Because she needs me.” It still grated on me that Persimma used me the way she did, that I sometimes felt good about being there to protect her. She was a bitchy micromanaging jerkface and still there were days I was glad I was around to watch her back. I knew my main value was in the null, mostly, but I had eyes, didn’t I? Ears. People said shit around me they didn’t ordinarily tell others. One, because I was a bartender and we became alcohol-appointed counselors, and two because super-powerful creatures forgot to be careful around things they didn’t think were dangerous.
I wasn’t dangerous, but Persimma was.
“Mm,” she said. We sat on the balcony for a long while, one of her staff bringing me out a drink, a sun hat, and sunblock.
While I slathered the rich cream onto my arms and face, Alexa said, “Where will you go if I help you slip away?”
I debated whether to tell her, then heaved a sigh. She probably already knew. No point in trying to lie to her. “My dad has a place in the mountains of Colorado. There’s a village near there where most everyone is flat.” Flat equaled no magic, or close to. Different than nulls. “They won’t notice me there. They’ve been working on non-magical workarounds for a lot of their homes and industry.”
“They have industry?”
I shrugged. “Small stuff, sure. But they’re trying to manufacture goods that run on stuff other than magic. Liquid from the ground, wind power, sun power.” I shrugged. I didn’t understand much of it, only that they were a little out there. My father called them dreamers in an admiring tone. Most people mocked them. “Basically, no one will notice I’m there. No magicals to lose juice, very few magical fixtures or items to be had.” It would be great, to be honest, to live in a place where I wasn’t grumbled or shouted at for fucking things over. Much of the magical tech these days had buffers built in to keep asshole magicals from screwing up the functions. Even without assholes, there were enough competing magics that power cores often got fritzed-out before the buffers.
Bound to Change: A Limited Edition Spring Shifter Romance Collection Page 46
