by Keri Lake
“Bravery is simply learning to control the fear inside of you.”
I stare at his scars borne of the violence he’s suffered in life. “Nothing frightens you, though. Not the Ragers, or mutations. Death. A band of psychotic women.”
He snorts a laugh and nods. “My fears are much simpler.”
“What are they? Tell me.”
Lowering the cloth from my face, he stares at me, and reaches to push a strand of hair behind my ear. “I fear the day I can no longer gaze into these eyes.” With a quick downward glance, he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “The day these hands no longer touch my skin.” Edging forward, he plants a soft and gentle kiss to my mouth, avoiding my cut. “The day I can no longer taste your lips on mine, or breathe in the flowery scent of you. These are the things I fear.”
My heart swells, as if it might burst with all this emotion he’s stirred inside of me. So much stronger than what I felt for Will, that it surely must be love. Smiling, I cup his face and kiss him on the lips once more. “As long as a heart beats inside my chest, that day will never come.”
“I’d plead, even to your God, to make that true.”
Turning playfully serious, I frown back at him. “So then, why the hell were you so willing to turn yourself over to those heathens without a fight?”
He chuckles and wipes a small bit of blood from my knuckles. “I willingly put my fate in the hands of a fierce Viper. Failure never crossed my mind.”
“I wanted to kill Lilith for the way she talked about you. The way she looked at you like a piece of meat she would nibble on for days.”
“You’re jealous?”
“Had that been a camp full of men wanting to have sex with me?”
“They’d all be dead.”
“Well, then. Seems I failed in my duties, after all.”
“Duties for what?”
Suddenly, I feel strange saying it. Girlfriend. It sounds so frivolous out here. Not even companion sounds right, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the G-word when Titus’s life depended on it, either. “Nothing. How can someone who brings so much calm and contentment in my life make me so violent at the same time?”
“I ask myself the same question. Did you mean what you said earlier? About the two of us staying here.”
“Yes.”
“And if you never see your family again?”
“They’ll be fine without me. They have Jack to look after them.”
“Who’s Jack?”
“My father’s closest friend.”
“One you trust to look after your family?”
“Yes. In spite of his nickname, he’s actually a decent guy.” At the look of confusion wrinkling his face, I keep on. “We called him Jack Snake Eye Hunter because his one eye--”
“Looks like a snake’s.” His eyes darken as he backs away from me. “What was it you told me about your father?”
“Just that he was a Legion officer, a high ranking one, killed by an … Alpha.” The contempt I once had for his kind has changed, and I no longer feel the need to spit the word as before.
“This Alpha. Would he happen to be light-haired? And have a tattoo of a--”
“Skull across his ribcage.”
An urgency burns in his eyes. “You’ve seen him?”
“Yes. Jack brought him to us as a gift.”
“A gift?”
“So we could face my father’s killer. My mother spared his life, but he was forced to live in an underground tunnel. Purgatory.”
“Atticus,” he mutters.
“What is he to you?” I already know the answer to the question, though. I don’t know why I didn’t make the connection before. Why I didn’t consider they’d know each other, having come from the same place. “He’s one of your brothers.”
Instead of answering, his expression turns more grave, setting my teeth on edge. “It wasn’t an Alpha who killed your father, Thalia.”
I stare blankly at him, searching for the lies. “Why are you saying this?”
“I was there. I saw what happened.”
“Tell me what you saw.”
“Snake Eye was with Remus …”
“Remus? That doesn’t make any sense. How … how would he know Remus?”
“I don’t know. But the two of them were raiding a hive. Atticus and I happened to be there that night. They shot me multiple times with the poison. Atticus, too. I thought they were going to finish me off, but your father showed up. He threatened to have Jack relieved of his position. That’s when they killed him. Jack killed your father and blamed it on Atticus.”
Words spinning like a vortex inside my head, I’m desperate to grasp something that makes sense. Something that doesn’t reek of disloyalty and betrayal. “No. Jack has been like a second father to me. He wouldn’t betray my father.”
“He would, if pride and his security were threatened.”
“He wouldn’t have lied to me. And to my mother’s face. He couldn’t have.”
“Thalia. I’m just telling you what I saw.”
Snapping my attention back to him, I scowl and swallow down the rage cocked at the back of my throat. “And how do I know you’re not the one lying? How do I know you haven’t been lying to me all along? How do I know you didn’t help me escape just so I’d get you into Szolen to free your friend?”
“Because up until now, I was certain Atticus was dead. I have nothing to gain by lying to you.”
The anger inside of me screams that he has everything to gain. All of Szolen. To seize it for his own. But my heart knows better. Knows that isn’t Titus. It isn’t the man I’ve come to care for over the last few weeks.
As much as I don’t want to, I let my mind carry the possibility that Jack murdered my father, and new thoughts spring up from all that murk in my brain. Conversations that I didn’t piece together until this very moment.
“Will told me that Jack sent him to retrieve one of those silver boxes from the convent. They were raided by Remus and his men. Jack must’ve set the whole thing up.” The more I think on it, the more I wonder if he was the reason I never reached the convent. The mysterious contact that Sam, the guy who sold me off to Madame Beaumont, didn’t want to divulge to me. “But, why? Why would he do such a thing? Why would he destroy my family?”
“Only two reasons: he wants something, or he wants to hide something.” His finger hooks my chin as he lifts my gaze to his. “Thalia, I have to go back for my friend. If he’s alive. I have to set him free.”
“Going back there is dangerous, Titus. The guards will shoot us on sight.”
“I know of a way in.”
“The tree? They tore it down. There is no way in now. Will was my ticket home.”
The defeat is written on both our faces, as we stare off, likely wondering the same thing.
How?
“I’ve not been there in a couple years.” He huffs, falling back against the wall behind him. “I’m sure it’s become a fortress by now.”
“It has. But hang on ...” Knocked with an epiphany, I grip his thigh as it unravels inside my head.
His comment brings to mind a conversation I overheard my father in a few months ago. He was complaining to the head guard at the gate about how a fortress like Szolen could have such a silly chink in its security.
“Every twelve hours, the Mediators switch off,” I say. “A truck carries supplies and the next shift of guards out to the solar panels. During the day, it’s well guarded and secure. But at night, they’re vulnerable. They have to shut the power down for emergency services only. If we wait at the panels, we can hitch a ride back into Szolen unseen.”
“The guards coming back will be in the truck. They’ll see us.”
“The food they take out there is transported in large cooler boxes on the back of the truck. I once helped pack them for a school volunteer project. They come back empty.”
“And I would fit in one of these.”
“Yes. They’re feeding a
literal army of men. Both of us can fit in one. It’ll be snug, but it’s a relatively short ride from the panels to Szolen.”
“You know for certain when they’ll be at the panels?”
“Yes. I used to hide in the warehouse as a child, watching the trucks come and go. Waiting for my father. Will and I would sneak into the coolers, playing hide and seek when they returned.”
Hand rubbing across his chin, he seems to consider my proposal. “The panels are nearly four-hundred miles south of where we are now. Unless we find fuel for the vehicles, that’s a ten-day hike. There’d be stretches of no shelter from the sun, or marauders.”
“Where the hell will we find fuel around here?”
“There’s a corn fuel farm a few miles from Remus’s compound. If I walk through the night, I can make it there in about eighteen hours.”
“What do you mean I can make it there? I’m coming with you.”
“It’s too dangerous, Thalia. That’s a common stop for Remus and his men.”
“How much does each gas can hold?”
His lips press tightly together, telling me he’s already calculated this and knows what I’m going to say. “Five gallons each.”
“Not even ten gallons is enough to make it to the panels. You’re going to haul all that fuel on foot by yourself?”
“No. I’m going to retrieve enough to drive the vehicle there and fill the rest of the tank. From there, we’ll head to the panels.”
“Why not just fill one can, then?”
Brow quirked up, it seems he’s already thought of that, too. “Two balances the weight better.”
Climbing down from the tub, I slide onto his lap and grip both sides of his face. “We. We are going to fill the rest of the tank and head to the panels, right?”
“Yes. I promise I won’t leave you behind.”
“I know. I trust you.”
Chapter 36
I lie on my side facing the fire, while Titus presses his chest to my back. Having secured the perimeter, as he does every night before we lie down, he pulls me into his body that blazes like an inferno. Light kissing to my shoulder is only a minor distraction to the thoughts swirling inside my head. Thoughts of him being captured by Remus and his men, and my having no awareness of it until he, ultimately, doesn’t return.
Thoughts of what Remus might do to punish him.
If they bothered to keep him alive, at all.
“Your mind is somewhere else,” he says against my skin.
“Yours isn’t?”
“Not when I’m with you.”
“I’m sorry, I just …. I think too much. It’s a curse.”
“You need to stop thinking about this. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“I want to, but I can’t. If Remus--” A hand across my mouth cuts my words off at the same time fingers slide between my thighs. The bruise on my cheeks is only a minor ache beneath the pressure of his hand.
“You talk too much, too.” His fingers tunnel their way along my seam, circling over my sensitive clit.
The sound of my moans trapped against his palm is an unexpected delight. As much as I try to deny it, I seem to enjoy being at a disadvantage around Titus. Teeth graze the edge of my throat and bite down at the crook of neck, at the same time a quiet growl rumbles in my ear.
Eyes rolled back, I arch into him as he drags his tongue over the tender spot, my movements limited by his unwavering grip.
Knee prodding the back of my thighs, he holds my legs wide and dips his fingers up inside of me. A whimper escapes me and I reach back to grip tight to something, finding his cock pressed against my backside. In the same tempo that he pumps his fingers in and out of me, I stroke his length, reveling in his masculine grunts and moans in my ear.
“You are the best torture, Thalia. What I wouldn’t give to fuck you right now.”
His delicious words only stoke the flames inside of me, while he squeezes my mouth in time to each glide of my palm, as if he’s imagining his own hand there.
I love being at the mercy of this man. This beast, who could easily break me if he wanted to. He could violate me in every manner, and I would welcome it.
He won’t, though. As many times as I’ve begged him to, and even this morning, when he briefly entertained the thought, I knew he’d refuse. The man is stubborn and protective to a fault.
Fingers slick with my juices, he drags the sticky fluid up my belly and rubs it across one of my nipples. I arch against him, my moans fizzling into his skin. Two fingers thrust up inside of me, harder this time, and he spreads me wider. “Imagine me buried deep inside of you. Fucking hell, you’d feel so soft, so tight.” His voice cracks on the last word, as I squeeze his shaft in demonstration of his fantasy. “You make me weak, woman.”
Faster, his fingers thrust, and just as he said, I imagine him between my thighs. His big body swallowing mine as he rocks into me, his hips slamming against mine. A long droning moan rattles inside my mind, and I roll my head back and forth, squirming against him, as my muscles tighten. My nipples stand rock hard, and I caress one while keeping with my strokes along his cock. Harsh breaths slam from my nose, beating against his fingers still trapping my mouth.
“Come on my hands. I want to lick every drop of you from my fingers.”
His words!
I arch again, my body spasming with the heat building inside of me, ready to explode. I tremble to hold it back, to resist the impending crash, but I can’t.
I can’t.
Tingles burst across my skin, and I let out a muted scream into Titus’s palm.
“Fuck, yes,” he rasps against my ear, and lifts his hands to show me their slick surface, rubbing his fingers together. Painting circles on my clit, he spreads that wetness he’s worked up and grinds his hips into my backside.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Titus put his hands to his face, sucking me off his fingers. The sight of which, has my belly contracting with the pulsing at my core.
Leaving my mouth, he climbs over top of me, forcing me to release his cock, and buries his face between my thighs, sucking at my swollen flesh, as if he’s ravenous for more. He’s a man of few words, but his exuberance says it all.
I cry out, slamming my thighs against his ears and run my fingers over his hair. “Let’s pretend. Let’s just pretend.”
“Pretend?”
With a nudge to his shoulders, I urge him up on his knees where I take hold of his cock. I run his tip over my still-slick seam and watch his eyes roll back. He thrusts his hips in the motions of sex, while I hold his cock against my flesh, letting it slide over my skin. Fingers tight around his thick shaft, I squeeze with every thrust into my palm.
“Imagine filling me, Titus. Think of how good it would feel. The relief we’d both feel.”
“You’re killing me. Goddamn it, I can’t take this anymore.”
“Then, do it. Fuck me.”
My words seem to send a shiver down his spine, and he falls forward, catching himself on his arms. “I could. I could fuck you so hard right now.”
His jaw tightens, veins popping out of his neck, as his hand covers mine, guiding my strokes, squeezing harder than before. Licking his lips, he palms my crown with one hand, both of us stroking him, while his hips pound against me. Faster and faster.
Warm fluids coat my fingers, and he pushes up to direct his release across my bare stomach, which oozes down my sides. Eyes on him, as he bangs out the last of his release, I run my fingers across the slickness and suck it off my skin.
His stomach muscles clench hard, and more ribbons of cum spring from his tip. “Christ, you are a vision.” He collapses beside me, breathing hard against my shoulder as he plants a kiss there. A gentle hand cups my jaw, and he turns my head toward him for a kiss to my lips.
“And you are a god.” I tease, in reference to the events earlier in the day.
“I’m too weak to be a god. Though, I’m pretty sure not even a god would have the power to resist you.”
Smiling, I tuck his arm under my cheek as I lay on my side, snug to his chest, my whole body soft and spent as I watch the fire crackle. In the quiet, my thoughts drift to Jack. The remorse in his eyes when he brought us the news of my father. The way he held my mother when she collapsed in his arms.
The tension winds inside my stomach, thinking of him executing my father.
“What’s troubling you?”
“Jack took my father’s position. They rewarded him for his bravery and loyalty.”
“He usurped your father’s command. He’s a fraud.”
“He has to die.” Turning over, I face Titus, staring into his eyes. “I want to kill him myself.” In the seconds that follow, I wait for him to talk me out of it. To tell me I’m a ridiculous little girl, pawing for something that will never come to pass. Once, when Grant was being bullied by one of the boys at school, I vowed to get back at the kid, at which my father chuckled and patted me on the head. He told me not to trouble myself with revenge, to leave it to the boys, and to focus on other things. It made me feel weak and useless. Not that my father set out to belittle me, as I’m certain it was his own fears for me that dictated his response.
Titus, on the other hand, remains quiet, stroking my hair while he stares off.
“You’re not going to ridicule me for that?”
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m a woman, talking about killing a Legion officer.”
“You’re passionate about killing him, yeah?”
“I am.”
“And you see no other way?”
“I don’t.”
He shrugs, still toying with my hair. “Then, I see no reason to doubt you.”
“Are you bullshitting me right now?”
“No. I’m very familiar with a woman’s determination, and know better than to stand in the way of it.”
“How so?”
“When my brother Valdys was locked inside Calico, it was Cali’s determination to find a way inside that ultimately led us to him. Even when I had my doubts, she refused to give up on him.”
If that were Titus, I wouldn’t give up so easily, either. “She loved him so much she was willing to face hell.”
