by A. Giacomi
“Then Henry appeared in the doorway of my room. He started yelling at me, things like where were you? How could you leave me alone? It’s like he had forgotten where I was for the past month. Then he came at me with a baseball bat.” I shiver at the memory of my father’s enraged face.
I see Alex cover her mouth immediately after I make mention of the bat. She looks horrified, and Eve looks like she’s on fire, prepared to commit an unspeakable act at any moment.
“I guess the shock of it all kind of messed with my memory, because I don’t remember any pain or how he hit me or when I went unconscious. I really don’t remember much more than that. It’s a blur.”
I try to move a little in my hospital bed to prove that I’m fine—I can’t take them staring at me like that—but each movement is excruciating.
“Although I seem to feel the pain now. Can you call a nurse for more pain meds?”
Alex runs off to find a nurse, and Eve helps me get comfortable. She’s so close I can smell her. Her arms wrap around me lightly as she fluffs up my pillow. I inhale a whiff of her dark chocolate hair. We are inches apart, and our eyes meet. There is a moment there; perhaps it’s just awkwardness from close proximity or sexual tension? I’m not sure, but I wish she would just kiss me or slap me so I can stop guessing.
Eve clears her throat. “The doctor says you have a broken rib. Try not to move too much. I’m not sure how long you’ll be in here, but you will come live with Alex or me when you can leave.”
I stare at her blankly, not sure how to feel about my next question.
“What about my father?” I really don’t know why I care, but I do. You can call it guilt, call it obligation, call it madness; somehow my father is still my father at the end of the day.
“He’s locked up for the moment, and I don’t think you’re safe with him anymore, Cam. He’s hit a new low, and I won’t stand by and watch you suffer with him.” Her eyes become glossier with each word, but she bites back the tears for my sake.
I close my eyes tightly, knowing she’s right and trying to accept it. I can’t go back home ever again. Even with the abuse, his lack of caring, and bad fathering, I still feel this need to take care of him. Like it is my responsibility somehow. My burden to bear.
He never hit my mother; I can give him that much. He loved her and she couldn’t help but love him. I’m sure she still loved him the day she died, even though they had a few arguments. I always thought my mother would want me to look after him. I feel badly because he was never like this before Mom died; he was still an alcoholic but a better man than he currently is. Now he’s simply haunted by her ghost and can’t escape his pain no matter how many bottles of Jack Daniels he cranks. Eve is right. Screw him! It’s time for me to have some kind of a life and be happy.
“You’re right, Eve. It’s time for me to move on. I can’t save him from himself. I think I should have left years ago.”
Shortly after our little conversation, Alex returns with a nurse. The pain meds are administered, and Eve and Alex leave me to rest.
I do try to rest but find my mind too full. I was happy when I woke to see them. They’re the best thing I have going. I’ve spent most of my life taking care of a man I barely know anymore. My mother’s death ruined him. Hasn’t he noticed that I’m in pain too? Yet I didn’t follow him on a similar self-destructive path. I just kept thinking of my mother and how sad she would be if she could see us both now and what’s become of us.
I choke back some tears at the thought. I’m a man, after all, and know that tears do nobody any good. I force the thoughts out of my mind and focus on getting some rest so I can heal. Whatever that means.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
EVE
After dropping Alex off, I head home to explain everything to my parents and hopefully, finally, get some rest. We have a long conversation, and my parents wholeheartedly agree to have Cam stay with us since we have an extra room anyway.
I return to my bedroom, and although my head is full of angry thoughts, I try to sleep them off so that I may feel fully functional again. I fall into a deep sleep quickly.
***
I awake to my mother calling me down for dinner.
“Shit, have I slept that long?” I rub my eyes and hazily begin to wake.
When I sit up, I find Winston at the foot of my bed.
“Hey buddy,” I say playfully and reach for him.
He looks out of sorts and is staring me down, growling again like I’m a trespasser.
“What’s gotten into you, boy?”
I get off the bed and try to pet him. Instead of allowing it, his teeth clamp down on my hand viciously. I scream until I am able to shake him off.
I hear footsteps running up the stairs. My mother must have heard the commotion because she is the first to come check on us.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she pants as she opens the door.
“Winston bit me!” I yell. “I don’t know what’s up with him, but he’s been growling at me and acting weird.”
Oddly enough, my mother doesn’t look too worried. “Well, he probably just missed you and is a bit miffed that you left for a little while. Don’t worry, honey. He’ll get over it.” She winks at me and ushers Winston out of the room and downstairs to have his supper.
Once my mother leaves, I check out my hand. It’s bleeding quite a bit but really doesn’t hurt. I manage to keep it hidden from my mom, but jeez he seems to have gotten me good.
I head into the washroom to clean my hands and begin rinsing them in the sink. To my horror, the gash is closing and healing at a rapid rate. The shock throws me backward, and I stare at my hands until the wound is gone. I think I stared for a long time even after the fact until I am sure there isn’t anything left.
“Oh God, what’s wrong with me?” I sob.
It is then that I realize that something awful is inside of me, and I don’t think it is ever going to go away.
CHAPTER TWELVE
CAM
After a few days, the hospital decides to release me with a few bandages and some happy pills. Eve and Alex are there waiting to break me out.
We drive to my house first to pick up my meager belongings. My dad won’t be there, obviously because he is in jail at the moment, but Eve and Alex refuse to let me enter alone.
Girls always worry about emotional scars and want to hug them all away. What they don’t understand is that’s not how guys work. We own our scars. They don’t leave us, and we don’t talk about them either.
I am happy to just grab my shit and get out of there, not that there is much to grab. I’ve never felt at home here, so I never bought things to fill the space, just my clothes, a toothbrush, and some family pictures. A little sentimental, I admit, but I can always say, Hey, I had a family once upon a time, if anyone ever asks where I came from.
I take a final glance at the small home. It doesn’t feel like mine as I stare at the home I grew up in. It hasn’t been maintained well, and I feel a pang of guilt for not helping with the repairs. The roof of the tiny bungalow needs replacing, the paint on the front door is peeling, and the single car garage door is dented, giving the home an abandoned look. The front yard doesn’t look much better. The yard hasn’t been landscaped in years and just looks like patchy dirt and dead shrubs. I felt a little like that front yard today: broken, patchy, and a little dead on the inside. I turn away and get in the car without another glance.
We drive off to Eve’s house, and I simply feel angry. I know the girls feel my mood bashing around in the car’s small space, and they keep giving each other worried glances the entire way. I can’t help it; I let my father beat me. Me, a grown man of nineteen, like I couldn’t handle myself? How did I not see it coming? Now I am to live with my best friend’s parents until who knows when? I just feel like a frustrated loser and that everyone around me is
making me their charity case. As soon as I can, I’ll find my own place and stop burdening others. I’m not their problem.
“Okay, you need to say something, Cam. You’re freaking me out. What’s up?” Eve asks, because if there’s one thing I know about Eve, it’s that she can’t stand not knowing what’s on someone’s mind. If she could have any superpower, I guarantee it would be telepathy.
“I guess I’m just, I dunno, wondering what to do next. I feel like a puzzle, and I don’t know where any of the pieces go or how they’re supposed to fit.”
“Well, that’s mighty bleak!” Eve blurts out with annoyed honesty.
“Yeah I know, but I can’t help myself, Eve.”
Eve hits the brakes hard, which jolts Alex and me to full attention.
“Listen, you’re going to live with me and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’re a good guy and deserve to be happy, so stop worrying. We’ll figure it out together! You have two weeks left before we have to start back at uni, and we’re going to have fun, goddammit, so suck it up and give me a goddamn hug.”
See what I mean about the hugging it out thing? I know better than to argue with Eve. I laugh and hug her over the backseat. Somehow she always makes me feel better, even though she pretty much bitches me out. I suppose that is for my own good.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EVE
Cam really settles into his new surroundings nicely over the next few weeks. It probably helps that I have known him for so many years. He practically grew up with me anyway.
He became part of our family without ever asking to be. My parents loved him from the moment they met him, mostly because they knew he was a good guy and wouldn’t try anything “funny” with their daughter the first chance he got her alone. Cam is indeed a gentleman, without ever even having the role model. I guess his father was a good example of what not to do.
Cam and I aren’t like that anyway. Sure, we had flirtatious moments back in high school, but it was innocent stuff, child’s play. I knew Cam had a crush on me years ago; I had one too, but I never told him, because I liked him so much I never wanted to lose him. Relationships ruin the best friendships.
I feel better with him in the house. Knowing he is near helps me forget about my little “dilemma.” I have almost begun to think I’m fine. Winston hasn’t taken another bite out of me, and I haven’t had any more weird reactions to food and no crazy quick-healing thing. Although, I am secretly interested in seeing if it will work again. But that is crazy because I will have to cut myself, and that in itself is madness, so I ignore the urge.
I head downstairs and find Cam in the kitchen reading the newspaper. His dark hair is getting a tad too long, and it covers his face while he reads.
“Hey, Cam, do you wanna head down to the lake for a bit? Alex called earlier to see if we wanted to go for a walk and get some ice cream,” I say.
“Yeah sure, I could use some fresh air.” He nods, wiping the hair away from his face.
Hopefully, this will lighten his mood. Most of our high school days were spent by the lake after school, or at lunch, or when we skipped class together. This was “our spot,” and something about it comforted us. We could be big kids there and escape the world for a little bit.
I often thought I would love to get married by the lake because it has such a special place in my heart. Some of our best conversations were held here. Cam and Alex shared their dreams with me, their fears, and their gossip.
I feel very lucky to have Cam and Al along for the ride; they make being me easier because they love me unconditionally.
As I think of them, I feel a sudden twinge of shame. I haven’t told them the truth about my arm or the strange dreams or the incident with Winston the other night. I haven’t told them a single thing, and I always tell them everything! I will have to do it eventually, but with all that Cam has been through lately, now just doesn’t seem the time.
***
I love our small town, because, within mere seconds, we arrive at the lake where Alex is already waiting in our usual spot with her roller blades on.
“Hey guys, nice of you to join me,” she says sarcastically. She hates when we are late, one of her biggest pet peeves.
“We’re only five minutes late, Al. Don’t get your panties twisted,” I say, sticking my tongue out at her.
I look around at the water glistening in the sunlight. It is a gorgeous day, and it seems like everyone is here soaking in the rays.
Once we have our ice cream, we begin to walk and reminisce about our trip to Egypt and how amazing it was, for the most part. I’m grateful they don’t bring up “the incident” and even more grateful that they haven’t asked to see how my scar is healing.
It’s only a few days until we will have to head back to university and be back in our dorm rooms. Thinking of the dorm makes me moody because the space is so crammed, and last year I had to argue with administration just so I could room with Alex.
Guelph University is just under an hour away, so our hometown is never too far to visit on weekends, but it still seems like such a big city compared to Little Lake.
I force myself to stop worrying about it. It isn’t time yet, and I’m determined to enjoy my last few hours before I have to snap back to reality and hit the books.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cam pull something out of his pocket. I watch intently as he retrieves it and then shouts with delight, “Oh my God, a super flyer! Where did you get that?”
Cam gives his best “aren’t I awesome” smirk.
It is nice to see him acting a bit more like himself.
“I found it online a few months ago, thought it would be good for a laugh. I haven’t played with one of these since grade nine; it was a fad for like a month, and then everyone moved onto something new.”
Alex’s eyes light up. “So are we gonna play or what?”
It seems like a good idea to me, and I think I smile so big that I time travel back to being about seven years old. I can be such a big kid sometimes; even my parents often ask if I will ever grow up. Well nope, probably not.
We are only playing for about ten minutes before we start to get a bit too competitive with our throws. I see Cam get this look in his eyes like he’s thinking, That’s it, you’re done for, and since I don’t enjoy losing, I give Cam an equally evil stare back.
“You’re going down, son!” I spit out at Cam.
He winds up his muscular arm, and when he lets go, it feels like a torpedo is coming for me. Damn boys and their upper body strength, curse him! I squeal a bit out of fear but keep running backward towards the road, determined to get it no matter how far it goes. It feels like I am running backward for hours in slow motion, and then the fun ends.
It all happens so fast. All I remember is hearing some screaming and then hitting the ground like a ton of bricks. I can taste the asphalt, and then I continue rolling until I face the sky.
Shit, I was on the road. How did I not notice I had left grass? I was so focused on my mission and didn’t think of cars. I feel a bit of pain and can’t move. I begin to panic.
A man gets out of his van and runs to check on me. I catch him eyeing my injuries, and he looks about ready to throw up. That bad, huh? is all I can think.
The next faces I see above me are Cam and Alex. They look horrified. Cam is on his knees assessing my injuries in seconds.
He takes a look at my leg. “Okay, it’s broken. Don’t move, Eve. I can see the bone. How does the rest of you feel?”
I lift my head slightly and look down towards my shin, where I see bone jutting out. Oh ew, why did I bother to look?
“I don’t feel anything, Cam. Honestly, I don’t feel hurt. Could be the shock?” Then my mind trails off with a sudden crash of terror. What if I start to heal rapidly around all these people? I don’t want to be a lab rat. No one can know about me.
I feel my bone snap back into place; it is an odd sensation, and I scream. This causes Alex and Cam to look at the injury that is now healing. I see their stunned and confused faces.
Okay, Eve, think. Think quickly. Cam will insist on going to the hospital, so I should ask Alex to take hold of the situation. She’ll listen to me.
In a desperate attempt to get out of sight, I sit up and grab Alex by her tee-shirt.
“Alex, I will explain to you later, but cover my leg and get me out of here.”
She is a bit shaken by my sudden recovery but nods. Without any hesitation, she takes off her tee-shirt so she’s only wearing her tank top. She quickly ties it around my healing leg so people can’t see it. God bless her.
Alex then runs towards her car, keys in hand, ready to go. Cam looks furious.
He whispers to me as the man who hit me paces back and forth, his hands tearing at his hair. “What the hell are you doing? Where are you sending Alex? We have to get you some help.”
I knew he’d say that, and I really need to keep him calm. “Cam, I know you don’t get it right now, but I need to leave. I’m going to be okay.”
When our whispered conversation ends, the driver who hit me is still freaking out, wondering what to do. I can tell he’s never hit anyone, probably never been in a car accident either. I look at him and try to smile.
“Sir, I’m fine. Don’t worry, please. My friends here are going to take me to get checked out, but I think I’m good, so I want you to forget this ever happened, okay? I can see you’re the type who will worry, but honestly, I’m fine. I’m going to get up now.”
I’m not sure I’ve been very convincing because he still looks like a wreck. Perhaps if I’m able to walk away, he won’t worry. I wink at Cam so he’ll get the hint to help me up. He does so with a snarl. Sorry, Cam, you’ll understand later.
I am up in an instant; I feel nothing but a bit of tingling. The man takes a deep breath of relief, realizing that it can’t be that bad if I can walk away from it. I can see he is still having a mental debate, though. He knows how hard he hit me and knows deep down inside that this can’t be, but he accepts it because he very much wants this to be true.
