by Andrew Smith
“Or we were pretty small.” And I remember thinking as we sat by our fire and Gabe told his story that I supposed that all boys dug forts and played on roofs.
“Yeah, well, we were both covered with dirt by the time my dad came home and when he saw what we had done to the yard he looked like he could’ve killed us. First he went in the house and got mad at my mom ‘cause she didn’t know what we were doing and then he came out to get us and his eyes looked like a demon’s.”
“How would you know? You were hiding.”
“Well, I did hide under the plywood roof, thinking my dad wouldn’t find me. You remember what he called us, Troy?”
“Dirty little goats.”
“Yep. He said, ‘I don’t work this hard around here to have some dirty little goats tear up my property.’ And I was so scared I practically peed my pants.”
“You did, I think.”
“Shut up.” We both took another drink of beer, and Gabe went on, “But then Troy says to him, ‘It was my idea, Mr. Benavidez. I’m sorry, I’ll fix it back. Gabe didn’t have anything to do with it.’ And I still don’t know why he said that.”
“ ‘Cause I thought he would really kill you, and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me ‘cause he and my dad were friends.”
“So then, he takes us both in the house to our moms, and we’re both covered with dirt and making a mess all over, which made my mom mad, but I think my dad wanted us to get dirt all over the place. And then he says to Troy’s mom, ‘I’d never hit another man’s son, but your Troy owes me a bit of work.’ And Troy’s mom tells him to go ahead and hit Troy if he wants to.”
“Yeah, and that’s when I almost peed in my pants.”
“And so then my dad grabs Troy by the shirt and walks him out to the stable and makes him rake out a row of stalls.”
“Well, it wasn’t just that,” I said. “ ‘Cause I’d never been that close to horses before and I was so scared of ‘em. And he took me out to the stables where he had some giant horses in there and he hands me a rake and says, ‘Clean ‘em all up.’ And he made me get in the first stall with the biggest horse I ever saw and I was so terrified that it would kill me. He looked so big that I could stand up and walk under his belly without messing up my hair and I was crying I was so scared of him, but I didn’t make a sound, and I remember the tears just dripping off my face as I worked. And Gabe’s dad just says, ‘Don’t just stand there, you’ve got a lot of cleaning up to do so you better get to it. Ignore the horse. He doesn’t care about you.’
“So I started raking and crying at the same time. And while I did, Mr. Benavidez sat down on a crate and smoked a cigar and read aloud to me these weird scary stories that were like poems. I still remember them, by Octavio Paz, he said. And I don’t know why, but I thought that was really scary, too.”
“He read those to me all the time,” Gabe interrupted. “I remember the creepy one about the guy who took people’s eyeballs.”
I looked at Gabe, knowing the story, and continued, “Then Luz came out there and she kissed her dad and then she laughed at me, but she said I was doing a real good job and one day maybe her daddy would hire me to work there.
“I raked out seven stalls and then he said I could stop. When I came out of that last stall, he bent down and put his face right to the top of my head and he grabbed me and put his big thumbs right on my face and wiped at my tears and I heard him take a deep breath in and he said, ‘There. Now you smell like a horse. Do you like it?’ And I was so scared I just said yes. And then he said I should go home and let my dad smell me, too. And then when he was taking me back to the house he said, ‘Troy, I saw those two shovels out there by the hole you boys were digging.’ And I didn’t know what he meant by that for a real long time.” I looked at Gabe, his eyes glassy and calm, and I could tell he was remembering that day when we were so small. Then I took a drink. I had almost forgotten about his father wiping my tears with his calloused hands. “Now, you got a story, Tommy?”
“Not without another beer first.”
“Well, okay then. But now we’re all pretty drunk, I’d say.”
“I’d say it, too, if I was smart as you, Stotts.”
Tommy half stumbled back to the keg in the bed of the truck.
“Put some more wood on, Gabey, ‘cause I gotta pee,” I said.
We all found our places back by the fire, me and Tommy drinking our beers and Gabriel half-asleep. I was lying flat on my back, watching the smoke and sparks twist their paths up into the starry black.
“I know you guys probly won’t believe this when I tell you, but I’m swearing to you this is the truth,” Tommy said. “And I’ve been waiting for the right time to say it. I saw a ghost. It happened the night after we killed that mountain lion, too, which made it even weirder. ‘Cause you remember how we all painted our faces and Stotts called it ‘Ghost Medicine.’ “
“Like his horse,” Gabe stirred.
“But it’s ‘cause of what he said it would do, too.”
Tommy spit and took another drink of beer. Gabe’s eyes were wider now, attentive to the possibility of a real good scary story.
“That night after we buried that lion,” Tommy went on, “I woke up in the middle of the night ‘cause I thought I heard something. Well, it was real dark and real quiet except for the sound of the wind, just rustling stuff outside like scratching. There was a boy standing in the middle of my room, just standing there looking at me. He was lighter than the dark in the room and I could almost see through him. I was sure it was a ghost, and it was real.”
“What did he do?” Gabe asked.
“Nothing. He just stood there looking at me. He never moved, his face never changed, never did nothing. I just looked at him for the longest time, too. I got so scared I put a pillow over my head.”
“My dad told me one time that your house had ghosts in it,” Gabe said to Tom.
“You’re making that up,” I said.
“I swear he said it, Troy.”
“Well, what did he look like, then?” I asked.
“He had light-colored hair. He was small, probly only about ten or eleven years old. I couldn’t really make out what he was wearing. But the scary part was hiding my head under the pillow, ‘cause I kept making it out scarier and scarier so that I was almost shivering I was so afraid. No. I was shivering. I think I stayed there for hours, sweating, keeping my face hid, wondering if I could get up enough guts to look at him again, to see if he was still there. And then I told myself, I know I’m not dreaming now, so if I look and he’s not there, then maybe it was a bad dream was all. So I looked again.” He swallowed and paused. “And he was still there.”
Gabe looked around at the edge of darkness surrounding our fire. “That’s really weird, Tom.”
“What happened then?”
“I covered my head back up again, and then I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I knew it was light out, and of course the boy was gone. But that morning, I thought it might have been brought on by that ghost medicine, so I took the truck and went out to that lion’s grave all by myself. And there was nothing changed there, but it was real spooky. I found that little circle of stones from the creek we’d put on top of the grave just where it was under that tree.”
“The angel is sleeping in the woods,” I said.
Tom threw a little stick at me. “See what I mean about this guy, Gabey?” Tom said, and then, “You’re crazy, Stotts. Well anyway, it was real creepy being there alone. I had my gun, but it was real quiet that day and I felt like I was being followed the whole way, or watched, by that boy.”
“Did you ever see him again?” Gabe asked.
“No. But after that I wouldn’t sleep in my room. Always out on the couch, and CB keeps asking me if I’m sick or something.”
“Well, maybe it was just a dream,” I said.
“That’s what I keep telling myself. Still,” Tommy said. “But there’s always a part of me that really knows I was awake the whole ti
me.”
We all became quiet, overcome by the beer, the fire, the events of the day.
I love you so much, Troy Stotts. Rider number seven.
I could hear that over and over, staring up at the sky, smelling the fire, feeling the earth in my hair.
And I lay there, with my hand on my chest, flattening out that number seven and feeling the bumps of those four little pins that held it there; and all of us fell off to sleep like that, right there in the dirt.
We all three woke when we heard the church bells from Three Points. Eight o’clock. The sun was already drying up the cool that had been the morning.
“Oh darn! I missed church,” Gabe said, sarcastically.
“I need some water,” Tom said. “So bad,” I added.
We got up, shakily. I took off my shirt and brushed the dirt out of my hair with it, then threw it on top of my saddle. Tom scooped two cups of what had been ice out of the galvanized tub and handed one to me. We just stood there and drank two full glasses each.
“How you feeling?” Tommy asked.
“Not perfect,” I said. “Feels like my head’s swollen.”
“Rose would make a dinner table out of mine.”
It hurt when I smiled.
“What are you guys talking about?” Gabe said.
“Nothing,” I said.
Tommy took off his shirt and poured a cup of ice water over his head, and then on mine.
“Let’s drive over to the rocks and jump in the lake,” he said.
We got into the truck, leaving Gabe standing there back by the smoking fire pit. Tommy turned the key in the ignition. Click. The battery was dead.
He slapped the steering wheel, frustrated. “I left the lights on,” Tom said. “We’re stuck.”
“Let’s take the horses, then. After we cool off we’ll ride back to your place and get Carl to come out and jump us.”
“Let’s go!” Gabe said.
We didn’t think anything of the time that morning; it almost seemed like the sun wasn’t moving at all. But when Luz rode out to catch her brother missing church, she laughed at the three of us, fog-headed, swimming in nothing but our boxers, and I realized that the morning had drifted away.
And then Chase just came out of nowhere, laughing as he stole our clothes and waved my shirt over his head like a flag, riding his horse out through the clearing to the dirt road leading east to Holmes. Tom bolted from the lake, stepping lightly with his stiff knee over the twigs and stones toward the horses.
I said, “Take Reno. He can catch ‘em!” Tom was the better rider, but my horse was the fastest.
“That just stinks!” Gabriel said and slapped the water. Luz was still laughing at us. She turned and rode off after Tom and Chase.
I jumped off the rock, exhaled, and sank down, disappearing into the murk nearer the bottom of the lake.
And that was how Gabriel and I ended up that hot afternoon, wet and dusty, out on the trail without our clothes, chasing down Tom Buller and my horse.
SIXTEEN
Gabey, can I have your hat? I’m burning up.”
“Sure. It’s dirty.”
“I know.”
And when Gabriel asked about it, as we swatted away the flies and, practically naked, took those horses so slowly along the trail, I told him what happened to me up on that mountain, and how his sister had found me there. And how it felt. Like she brought me back to life.
“Did you make love to her?”
I think Gabriel was just curious, that maybe he wanted to know something hidden about his sister, about me. And at first, I found myself automatically forming the truth, no, with my mouth. Then I thought to lie for some reason and tell him yes. Then I kind of got mad at Gabriel.
“How could you even say something like that about your sister?” I sighed. “That’s between me and her, anyway.”
“Well, I’d tell you.”
“I don’t think I’ll live that long, Gabey.”
“You know, that’s a shame, too. And I was just about to offer my best friend Troy Stotts that he could ride my horse and me take on that old cripple Arrow.”
I smiled, knowing that Gabriel was just teasing.
“Am I the only person you told about your going away like that?” Gabe asked.
“Yep.”
Gabriel pulled back on Dusty, who turned in the path, stopping both horses and riders. He swung his leg over the top of the saddle and got down onto the trail, wiping away the sweat on the insides of his bare legs with his palms.
“Here, Troy. I’ll switch you.”
Gabriel held the reins on Arrow as I got down. “Are you sure?”
“No, but you can ride him anyway.” And then Gabe was up on Arrow, whose protesting backpedaling signaled that he had already eased into the thought of going riderless. “And besides, Dusty’s about the only horse around that I haven’t seen you fall off yet so I’m thinking today’s going to be his big chance.”
I was thankful for the cooling shade of the big trees here, and for the more comfortable gait and disposition of the buckskin. I could see the spot where the trees cleared away, far ahead, the bright sunlight reflecting from the yellow and dry grasses, where the old Butterfield stage marker stood, and the small trail linked onto the dirt road heading east.
“You know she’s in love with you, Troy.” He said it kind of like it was a question.
“Man, can you stop talking about your sister and me?”
I was embarrassed that Gabe was so straight with me, and at the same time I guess I felt a kind of pride that he knew, and felt, too, that someday we would be bound together by something more than just our friendship.
“Well, it’s true, in case you didn’t know. Or in case you were wondering.” Gabe rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Anyway, it’s okay with me.”
“Oh. That’s a relief,” I said, and I tried to change the subject, but I knew he would bring it back again. “You remember what you told us about your dad giving me the horse? How do you know about that?”
I held Dusty back and Gabe prodded Arrow up next to us.
“He didn’t tell me it or nothing, but my dad’s like a horse witch or something, like my grandfather was. But you know, Troy, because sometimes there are certain horses that can talk to you, and some people can talk to just about any horse. Like my dad can. And you. That’s why I said that about him giving you Reno. I just made it up ‘cause I was just trying to tease you about Luz.”
“Oh.” I looked out down the trail.
“You don’t need to tell me. I mean, if you love her. Because I already know. That’s what brought you back here when you left; otherwise Reno would’ve made you go away.”
you disappear
Gabriel stretched his arms out and yawned. Arrow lowered his head into the grass to the side of the trail. “One day, will you take me up there?”
“To that cabin?”
I looked at Gabriel.
“Sometimes I feel like I need to go back there, almost like it’s calling me to prove that it wasn’t just a weird dream or something. But if you just want to go up there and fish, we could go anytime. And Gabe, you won’t say anything, will you?”
“About where you went?”
“No. About her.”
Gabe held out a fist and I punched his knuckles.
“Gabe?”
“What?”
“Why do you act like you’re scared of her?”
Gabriel smiled. “She can beat me up, Troy.”
“I think you let her.”
“Okay,” he said. “But she never lets up on me, either. I think it’s ‘cause I’m the boy, and that’s what our dad always wanted. So she always had to prove she was tougher and smarter. Then I guess he ended up realizing that she really was.”
“She’s just trying to fool you, Gabe,” I said. “ ‘Cause she knows how good you really are. And she thinks that one day your dad’s gonna see you’re good enough to run that ranch. She told me.”
/> “She did?”
“I swear it.”
Gabriel yawned again, pretending not to think about what I just said. “Was it tough coming home?” By the time he said it, Arrow was already back to stumbling his front right foot on the ground, feigning a trip every few steps, which would inevitably lead to a more stubborn protest to come.
“Not at all.”
“He’s not going to move, Troy.” Gabriel exhaled in frustration above the stubborn Arrow’s lowered, pretending-to-eat head. “I think we’re going to have to walk ‘em again for a while.”
“We’ve been gone for an hour now and we haven’t even gotten to the dirt road yet. Tom’s likely already home and dressed by now.”
“You should’ve never offered up Reno for him. That Tom Buller owes you more than he’ll ever be able to pay back.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked. Arrow flinched at Gabe’s prodding.
“Well,” Gabriel said, “you saved his life when he got bit. And you’d do anything for him, and stick up for him and his dad. You’re such a good friend to him.”
“And he would do anything for me,” I said, then let out a sigh watching Arrow win the silent argument with Gabriel. “I never understood how someone who can ride like Tommy would settle for a horse like that Arrow. If you want yours back, I’ll take him.”
“It’s okay. Walking’s walking anyway. And I guess old Arrow thinks its kind of funny about us being stuck out here in our underwear, too.” Gabriel paused. “Remind me next summer if we all spend the night out after ‘49ers Day that we need to bring some extra clothes.”
“Yeah. And you remind me not to let Tom Buller talk us into drinking beer, too.”
“I could do that.”
We walked along slowly, Gabriel taking an occasional swig from his canteen. The stage marker was just ahead, and alongside it, the wider, level dirt road leading east into Three Points and Holmes beyond. On the right of the trail, a circle of light cut through an opening created in the space between a sapling and a taller, drooping pine tree. In that circle, the stone marker rose, reflecting the sunlight of the open roadway.
“Hey Troy, look at this.” And Gabriel bent down and grabbed an apricot-sized stone off the ground. “Gabriel Benavidez paints the outside corner of the plate with a vicious side-arm curve.”
