by C. A. Harms
When she lifts her gaze to meet mine, I see the shine there, the unshed tears she’s trying so hard to fight.
“We were going to have a makeover,” I finally say even though my throat feels unbelievably raw with emotion. I point toward the bottle of wine and the bottle of white grape juice that sits before the two wine glasses. Whitney thinks she is a big girl, so when she’s at Aunt Janelle’s, she has her own special wine glass she drinks from. The word princess in pretty pink lettering with a little crown tilted on the P of the word decorates the side. It has glitter and sparkle and of course is also plastic and childproof.
“I can grab another glass and you can join us?” I take another step toward her. “We can make it a girls’ night, maybe call Janie to join us.”
“Can we just have us?” Her eyes shine even more and her lower lip trembles. “I love Janie, I do, but I think I need to fall apart. I would like to keep the audience to a minimum if I can.”
“Of course.” I pause at her side on my way to the kitchen for another glass and press a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you, Jackie, and everything’s gonna be okay.”
***
Whitney is crashed on the couch, lipstick smeared across her little cheek, bright blue eyeshadow above each of her eyes, and bright pink cheeks too. Jackie and I sat back and gave her full control of her own makeup—why not, you’re only little once. Her giggles and smiles were like the medicine my sister needed to gain some control of her emotions.
I watched as Jackie focused on her daughter, and slowly I saw the shift. Whitney is her everything, and I think it hurt her more knowing that Rob’s action had forever changed the life of their daughter. And from what she’s now told me, he is still changing it with each stupid choice he makes.
“I wish there was a way to hide her from it all, ya know? Like she never has to find out about Rob’s fiancée,” she sneers at the word, “or the baby that may or may not be his.” I have to agree; the girl he threw away his life for is a misfit. She is young and flirtatious—okay, fine, she’s a loose whore—and I highly doubt that she is faithful to Rob. I’ll be the first in line to say, “Ha,” when he finds her in bed with the next guy. Hopefully, it is the bed he shares with her and he walks in to find her mounted, riding hard, just like Jackie found the two of them.
I still have absolutely no idea how she composed herself enough to walk away. I imagine broken limbs and hair that has been ripped out laying on the floor when I picture the scene. Someone deserves to lose an appendage, too, but hey, my sister is classy, a lot more than I am, it seems.
“She is so little, and she won’t understand.” Jackie brings me back to the moment. “She’ll have questions, and I’ll be the one left to help her sweet little three-year-old mind figure them out. It’s so unfair.”
“It is.” For the both of them.
“I know what you thought when you saw Shane and me.” I lift my glass to my lips, and she laughs. “It was written on your face then, and it’s written on it now.” Swallowing the mouthful of wine, I smile and play with the stem of the glass. “He witnessed the scene with Rob, and you should know that he came over in an attempt to rescue me and rectify the situation. I guess he saw I was breaking and his actions helped me remain in control in front of a man that doesn’t deserve to see me fall apart. He gave me the confidence I was lacking in that moment. Then when Rob left, it was Shane who watched me fall apart. There I was in your driveway losing it all in front of a man I barely know, and do you know what he did?”
I shake my head.
“He showed me, I think without actually meaning to, that he is not the man we all think he is.” My gaze meets hers. “He’s not the devil, and he is not a heartless asshole. I think he’s just guarded. For whatever reason he has, he is just scared of showing who he really is. But in that moment, I got a glimpse of the man he is, and Janelle, whatever he’s hiding, whatever he is protecting, it has nothing to do with what he feels for you.”
“He doesn’t feel anything for me but friendship.” Attempting to swallow past the ache in my chest, I refrain from looking away. I know if I do, she will see right through me.
“That man does not look at you like a man looks at a friend.” Slow intake of breath, a gentle calm release, I try to hide the effects of my racing heart. “Believe me,” she reaches out and places her hand over mine, “he’s fighting his desire for something more when it comes to you. Shane is a sweet man, he is. I think he’s one of the good ones; he didn’t have to do any of what he did, and he surely didn’t have to say the things he did, either. Maybe he just needs someone to fight for him for a change.”
A few seconds of silence pass between us before she leans back and places her glass on the coffee table. “I’m gonna carry this little one to the spare bedroom.” Standing up, she begins to slide her arms beneath Whitney’s little body. “Then if you don’t mind, I’m going to borrow something to sleep in and join her. Today has been draining, and I could use a good night’s sleep.”
“Of course.”
“You should clean your face before you go visit your neighbor.” I wrinkle my forehead, and she laughs. “Please, you know as well as I do that you want to see him, so go. Do me a favor, though; give him a kiss for me. I swear that man has the most kissable lips. You are right, he is almost too perfect to be a man; he’s almost pretty. Oh, the beautiful babies that man could make.” As she lifts her daughter up, she winks at me before walking off.
I waste a few minutes cleaning up the living room and taking the dishes to the kitchen. As I place the wine glasses in the dishwasher, I look up through the window and see one single light on in the house next door. The flash and flicker indicates it’s the television playing and not a light.
Gripping the edge of the counter, I replay my sister’s words in my head.
“Thanking him for being so nice to my sister is the right thing to do.” Maybe that will help me drum up the courage I need. “He was kind when he could have walked away. Friends thank each other. It’s the right thing to do.”
I am pathetic.
Before I know it, I am out my front door and walking up the steps of his front porch. The light tapping on the door, the sounds of the lock clicking just before it opens, and I find him standing before me. Shirtless, shorts hanging low on his waist, and barefoot. He is breathtaking.
“Hi.” A hesitant smile tugs at his lips, and I’m not sure where the courage comes from, but I take a step closer and place my hand against his chest. I immediately notice the way he takes in a deep breath and his heart begins to beat faster beneath my palm.
“I’ve just spent the last two hours listening to the complete breakdown of my sister’s day. She told me everything, including what you did for her.”
“It’s no big deal.” He watches me closely.
“It is.” It’s actually bigger than I think he will ever understand.
He remains silent, as do I. There are so many things I want to say to him, but honestly the words won’t leave my lips. My entire opinion of him, whether it be good or bad, has shifted. This guy is not who I thought he was. Jackie is right; he is a good man. Even if he wants me to believe otherwise, I know after today I can’t.
“Jackie and Rob were high school sweethearts. She has never loved another man, and to have him do what he did to their family is heartbreaking. But she’s never broke, at least not with us. But with you—”
“She didn’t really have too much of a choice to hide. He kind of forced her to feel in that moment.” Shane interrupts me, I know to take the attention off of himself. He doesn’t seem like the kind of man that accepts praise easily.
“But the things you said—” I try again, only I am cut short before I can continue on.
“Were true.”
Again we each grow silent. I look past his shoulder, seeing the continuous flash of lights that are highlighted by whatever he has playing on his television. The volume is turned low, giving nothing away.
“You know,�
�� I finally speak, still looking away from his penetrating stare, “when I first saw the two of you together in my driveway, in that position you were in—” Feeling foolish for what I am about to say, I pause. I finally look back at him once more.
“You thought that I was after your other sister.” Well, when he says it like that, I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Shrugging my shoulders, the foolish feeling inside me grows. “What is it with you thinking I want your sisters? First Janie, now Jackie.” He chuckles. “They aren’t the Pearson sister that I want.”
“You don’t want any of us, it would seem.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Shane
Janelle stands before me, looking up at me with doubt in her eyes, a timidness that makes me want to do nothing more than reach out and take her in my arms. I swear each time I see her, each time I get within a few feet of her, I find myself wanting her even more.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
Her forehead creases, and I take a step closer to her, reaching out to place my arm around her waist. She comes with ease, her body now only inches from my own. “It’s never been because I don’t want you, Janelle, not once. I think I’ve wanted you from the first moment I saw you.”
“You are so confusing.” Her words are nothing more than a whisper as she looks up at me through her long eyelashes.
“I know.” Leaning in slightly closer, I press a kiss near the corner of her mouth. “Wanting you, though, was never the problem. It’s the idea of hurting you one day that I can’t seem to grasp. Because it’ll happen, I know it will. I have so many things—”
“We all have things.”
“Some bigger than others.”
“We all have a choice, Shane.” I feel her body press in a little tighter to my own. “We can learn to live with the challenges of our lives or we can let them conquer and destroy us.”
I find ways to escape the pull I have toward her, a way to fill my time, not that I forget her, but so that staying away from her is a little easier, and then she shows up, saying things like this.
Janelle lifts both her hands, laying one on each side of my face, cupping my jaw. I watch her, taking in her beauty, enjoying the feeling of her hands on me. Rising up on the balls of her feet, she repeats my earlier movements and brushes her own lips against mine, pressing a gentle quick kiss to the corner of my mouth. “Stop trying to make excuses. Stop trying to convince yourself that you know what’s best for me. Let me decide.”
With her gorgeous blue eyes locked with my own, I weigh my options. I could again push her away, tell her that this can’t happen. I could continue to play off of the idea that this will end badly and that walking away now is for the best. Or I could give in to this overwhelming, uncontrollable desire I have for Janelle and everything she represents and ignore the voice in my head screaming no.
Fisting her hair at the back of her neck, I pull her in tight, licking along the seam of her lips. Hers part. Slipping my tongue inside her warm mouth, I taste her, tease her, and hope that with the kiss it tells her everything she needs to know. I can’t say it, though my mind is thinking it. I want this woman; I want her more than I have ever wanted anyone or anything in my life.
She whimpers when I tug at her hair, and her neck arches, her eyes open, and she looks up at me. “Are you sure about this?”
Janelle doesn’t answer me with words. Instead she begins to climb my body, and I grip her hips to offer help. Her long lean legs wrap around my waist securely, her warmth against my barely covered cock that already feels so fucking hard it hurts. A simple shift of her hips and I do nothing to stop her as she grinds against me. Nothing separating us but two very thin layers of clothing, and they do absolutely nothing to hide how wet she is.
“Jesus.” I throb against her, my breath growing ragged with each passing second.
Backing up, I shove the door shut and turn our bodies toward the couch. Stumbling over a couch pillow that was on the floor, I reach out to secure our weight as I lower her to the worn-out cushions below.
As I attempt to pull back, Janelle sucks on my tongue, and my cock jumps against her, making her moan.
Her body hangs half off the couch, her legs still hooked around my waist as I look down at her. A thin tank top, one that does nothing to hide her hardened nipples. Tracing over the hard pebbles with my thumbs, her back arches, pushing her tits up. Palming them, I love how they fit perfectly in my hands.
Her breaths are shallow, her body trembles beneath my touch, and the excitement for more rushes through me.
“You’re fucking perfect.” The word doesn’t begin to describe her, but in that very moment, I am at a loss for words.
Pushing the material of her thin shirt up, my eyes rake over her flawless skin. A light tan covers her, only two triangles a lighter shade over her breasts.
No longer able to stop myself, I lower my lips to her left nipple and flick my tongue over, feeling the hard bead beneath.
“Mm…” Again she pushes out her chest, and I suck, making her moan deepen. Her hips continue to move against me, and I imagine her moving like that when I am inside her. The thought drives me forward, and I thrust my hips, pushing my hardness against her. Fucking hell she was so hot.
Shifting lower, I begin kissing over stomach, sliding my palms over her sides until I am gripping her hips. I lick along the waistband of her shorts in a slow, tantalizing pace.
“Yes,” she pleads, her hips lifting again and again. I know what she wants. I want the same thing just as bad if not more. I’ve thought of tasting her, of driving her mad until she falls over the edge. Seeing the blissful look in her eyes as she looks down between her legs to meet my stare…I am starving for her.
Placing my thumbs beneath the waistband of her shorts at each of her hips, I slowly begin to lower them, feeling my heart race with anticipation. She unlocks her legs, lifting them straight up as I continue on the path of her long luscious legs.
She is a flexible one, fuck me.
Parting her legs once more, her shorts remain hooked on one of her ankles. With one palm spread out on top each of her thighs, she looks up at me, and I take a few second to simply take her in. Bare before me, her shirt bunched up above her breast, her eyes full of lust.
Using my thumb, I glide the tip over her pelvic bone, lower and lower until I feel her clit. Pausing, I move my thumb in a circular motion, and she bites her lower lip, again shifting her hips against me. Wanting to drag this out, wanting to take everything she has to offer, I move my upper body lower, positioning myself between her parted thighs.
I can smell her arousal, see her glistening, and it makes my mouth water.
Her tits lift with each ragged breath she takes, and I lean in, tracing along her inner thigh with the tip of my tongue.
“God, yes!” Janelle grips the couch cushions at her side, and she watches my every move. I move to the opposite leg, dragging my tongue along the crease of her legs, and they part even more. “Mm, please.”
“Please, what?”
Instead of answering me, she shifts her hips, and I smile against her thigh.
“Please what, Janelle?” Call me an arrogant prick, but I want nothing more than to hear her beg me to taste her sweetness. Fuck, I want it so bad, but I crave hearing her ask me to taste her.
“Shane…” Again, she shifts her hips, bringing her wetness closer to my lips, and I pull back.
“What do you need, baby?”
“You,” she pants, “your mouth.”
“Where?”
Her cheeks redden, and she averts her eyes toward the apex of her thighs. Still not enough, I want to hear the words.
“Taste me,” she whispers, “please.”
I am a vocal guy when it comes to sex. I want to hear a woman beg; I want to hear what she needs. In turn, I want to be able to demand and express how fucking good something feels. I would break her in over time. I’d turn Janelle into a demanding vixen if it took hours, days�
�hell, even months. I would have her telling me to lick her pussy and fuck her hard, that’s a guarantee.
I could drag this out, but I’m not sure I can wait a second longer so I give her what we both want and lower my mouth to her center. Gliding my tongue over her, I part her lips and taste what she has to give me.
When she grips the hair at the top of my head, holding my face against her, and begins to shift her hips, I feel satisfied knowing she’s getting what she needs even if she couldn’t say the words.
Her breathing grows shallower, her grip on my hair tightens, and when I slide a finger inside her, she bucks and begins to pulsate around me.
“Oh yes,” she fucks my finger, “oh God yes.”
Lifting my gaze to meet her face, I watch as she falls apart. She bites her lips hard, squeezing her eyes tight as she continues to ride out her orgasm. Seeing her fall apart is beautiful.
Slow even strokes with the tip of my tongue, I suck on her clit, and she whimpers. “Damn.” Unbelievable.
Her eyes slowly open, and as if searching me out, she blinks a few times before her stare connects with mine. She seems shy, tucking her chin as if she is embarrassed. Hell with that, she has nothing to be bashful about.
Moving up her body, I cover her mouth with my own. I kiss her, using my tongue to fuck her mouth, much like I plan doing to her very soon. “Give me a minute,” I whisper as I slowly pull back. The last thing I want to do is leave her, but I have no choice.
Hurrying down the hall toward my bedroom, I open the nightstand drawer and grab for the box of condoms that have been there for months. Tearing open the package, I grab one and immediately lift the foil packet to my lips. Tearing at the edge, I use my other hand to lower my shorts and kick them off my feet in a hurry.
Shuffling out of my room and down the hall, I pause in the entryway to the living room and stare ahead at the woman who awaits me. Fuck, she is breathtaking. Still remaining in the same spot, her legs are parted, waiting for my return.
