“Come here, you – I need to sniff your beautiful face,” he laughed, and pulled her into his arms, kissing her thoroughly. Nikki adored these moments of laughter between them. That was something that had been missing at home before she’d been kicked out and honestly, it was missing with Ryan.
She had thought hard about the white elephant gift she was supposed to bring and was really nervous. She’d found a snow globe at the store where you could insert photos. She’d taken the picture he’d texted her from when she’d made the cupcakes for his work and had it printed along with one of her and Travis. The picture of Jakob was of him grinning with frosting on his nose. The other photo had her and Travis making silly faces. The white elephant gift was supposed to be a gag present and she couldn’t think of anything else personal to give. She had wrapped it in bubble wrap, put it in a box and then another box. She had no idea who was going to be at the party, but surely, they would know Jakob’s photo if nothing else.
Nikki had a bread starter sitting on the counter and was planning on bringing Amish Friendship bread to Jakob’s parents’ house. It was a recipe Mrs. Weatherby taught her last year when she’d filled in. The batter had been fermenting for the last four days. The earthy cinnamon smell combined with the cherries and peaches made for a delightful change of pace from the normal deserts of the season. Everyone had cheesecake, mincemeat pie or cakes. She wanted to bring something that was her. It wasn’t special or expected, but different, cherished and wanted.
Jakob had told her that his mother would have quite a spread of food laid out on the table, and that usually several people came to get together. Because of the families and the distance, they ended up each taking a weekend during the month of December. He’d skipped going to his sister’s to be with her, she found out yesterday, making her feel a bit nervous about meeting the woman on Saturday. The season was special to his family and she understood why; she was just a bit envious about how many family members he had! To her, it was just her and her son, which was why they did everything together – and part of the reason she was so very touched that Jakob included Travis in almost everything they did or where they went. He told her before not to worry, and always seemed to make time for them to be alone after Travis went to sleep or watched a movie.
Those evenings they watched a movie together were her favorite and started a few days ago. Jakob brought over Mud a few times for him to visit. Travis loved petting the cat and was particularly fascinated with the small kink at the tip of his tail. He was forever trying to straighten it out and it would flop back over, making him laugh.
Tonight’s movie was ‘A Christmas Story’ and the three of them had cozied up to watch it together. It led to Travis wanting a B-B gun and a massive fit of crying, to which surprisingly Jakob handled on his own. He’d pulled the boy onto his lap and explained that they were dangerous, the show was pretend- and how he knew a better toy was a ball. Then Jakob got out his phone and the duo shopped on Amazon together. It was the weirdest, quirkiest thing to witness but it worked.
Yes, a peace had settled over the house and in her heart. It made the Wednesdays that Jakob was gone seem so very empty. Even the animals seemed to know something was missing. Nikki pulled out her phone and texted him, Miss you and see you tomorrow. She wasn’t surprised when it took a while for him to respond.
He worked so very hard at the hospital and sometimes arrived at her house still in his scrubs and exhausted. Maybe she would suggest he leave an outfit in his vehicle, so he could change out of his work clothes. She thought about inviting him to leave a change of clothing here but thought against it. Too forward, and the mistake with Ryan was forever haunting her. When her phone rang, she answered it quickly with a smile.
“Hey there, are you off work?”
“Nikki?” She heard a man’s voice through the receiver and it took her a moment to place it.
“Who is this? Ryan?” she asked horrified, and stared at her phone. What in the world could he want?
“Hey Nikki, I wanted to see if maybe we could all get together for Christmas this year? My girlfriend wants to meet Trey.”
“It’s Travis, you moron and no! That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because he doesn’t know you. I don’t know you anymore. You haven’t been around him ever, so why bother now?”
“Because he’s my son and I owe it to him.”
“If you do, then you also owe him about $42,000 in back child support- or did you conveniently forget that too?”
“Nikki, don’t be like that-“
“This conversation is over. When I wanted you to be in his life, you wouldn’t even answer the certified letters or the summons. What kind of father does that? No, he’s better off without you and frankly- we both are!” she yelled, hanging up the phone, only to look up and see Travis standing there watching her.
“Daddy?”
“No, baby. I’m sorry you heard me getting mad.”
“Jakob?”
“No, but he will be here tomorrow night and we are going to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas together.”
“No yelling?”
“No, sweetie. No yelling, I promise.”
Just then, her phone rang again, and she didn’t even look at it -but hit the ignore button instead while she got up to tuck in Travis again. She didn’t want to talk to Ryan and could feel her cheeks flushed with how angry she was. How dare he come sniffing around because his girlfriend wants to meet his son! He couldn’t even remember Travis’ name! She put him in bed and kissed his forehead several times playfully.
“Mama loves you so much.”
“I love you too.” Her phone rang again and this time she looked at the display. She saw it was Jakob and picked up.
“Hey, is everything okay? I tried calling you and it went to voicemail.”
“Yes, I was just putting Travis back to bed.”
“Is he alright? Why did he get up?”
“I’ll tell you about it later,” she hesitated. “Want to tell him goodnight? I can put you on speaker.” She pushed the button and watched Travis’s face light up as he realized who it was on the phone. He held the screen display close to his face and talked loudly.
“Yeah, mama was mad, and I heard her.”
“She was? Not at you, little guy, right?”
“Nope. Are you coming over tonight?”
“Not tonight buddy but you be good for your sweet mama, okay?”
“Okay. Love you Jakob.”
“Love you too, buddy. Goodnight,” his voice was thick with emotion in the phone. Nikki felt tears running down her face at the sweet and simple innocence of her son – and the kindness in Jakob. He didn’t have to say that, but it meant the world to Travis. He smiled at her, nodded and handed her the phone. He quickly rolled over and put his thumb in his mouth. She took the phone off of speaker and walked out of the bedroom away from Travis.
“You didn’t have to say that,” she told him.
“I know I didn’t.”
“How was your night?” she said, changing the subject.
“How was your phone call? Who were you upset with? Can I help?”
“Ryan called.”
“I’m ten minutes away and coming over.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I’m coming over, Nikki. I think we need to talk.”
“Not tonight, please. I think I need some space and to think,” she said softly, praying he understood the chaos in her mind and heart. Here was a man that had practically fallen into their path, who was so wonderful that she couldn’t imagine a future without him. That shook her emotionally to the core. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that and kept waiting for the first real fight between them. She and Ryan had argued quite a bit because he was so arrogant and headstrong. They both had been. She was so afraid of making a mistake that could hurt not only her, but Travis too, that she almost felt frozen in place.
Things just needed to stay the same
for her sake and his. It wasn’t about her just having fun or falling in love, it was her son as well and the way he’d bonded with Jakob rattled her. They were good together; in fact, they were great together and she could see them easily slipping into more – but she’d imagined a future with Ryan too. Look where that got me, she thought angrily.
The silence in the phone was deafening.
“If you need space, I understand,” his voice was quiet over the phone, “I will be here when you need me.”
“Thank you.” Nikki hung up the phone and stared at it like it was a foreign object. Were all guys the same? When things were good, they were there? But the moment someone went against their wishes or went their own way, they disappeared? Was Jakob just another Ryan to disappear at the first snag? Hearing a knock at her door, she almost refused to answer it and then felt her temper creep up inside of her. Getting to her feet angrily, she threw the phone on the couch and yanked open the door with force.
“Space?” she retorted loudly before the door was even opened all the way. Jakob stood there, a frozen look on his face mixed with pain. He quickly masked it and crossed his arms in a protective fashion. She also noticed that he wasn’t in scrubs like usual when he got off of work. Had he lied to her? Now, she was really angry.
“I thought you had work tonight?”
“No, I said I couldn’t come by because I had a meeting. Nikki…” he began, and she cut him off rudely.
“So, you come over when convenient? That’s nice,” she snarled, her voice rising an octave. She was itching for a fight and knew she was taking her frustration with Ryan out on him. It was wrong, but she couldn’t help herself. The thought of Jakob misleading her or possibly using her, had her mind so enraged she couldn’t see straight. His face under the entryway lamp of her front porch, looked almost like a painting, beautiful and untouchable, something that had struck her from the very beginning as aloof. Just then, Jakob reached behind her, grabbing the door knob, shutting the door behind her and forcing her out onto the step.
“Don’t wake Travis with your temper,” he said firmly in a calm voice, his eyes staring directly at her, searching for answers. “If me taking parenting classes bothers you on Wednesdays – I will stop. I just want to be the best person I can be for you, and for him.”
There was barely five inches between them, but it felt like a chasm. She was picking a fight with a man that was doing everything he could to fit into her world. Ryan didn’t even know his son’s name, yet this man was taking parenting classes? She felt herself breaking apart in a way she didn’t know possible, letting him into an unknown space in her heart.
“Nikki,” Jakob breathed, smoothing his thumb over her cheek. “If you need space, I understand but if you need help or to lash out? I’m here and I can take it. I probably understand being upset or overwhelmed better than anyone – and I know you know that. I am not Ryan and never will be. I treasure you too much to disrespect you. The faster you realize that I genuinely care and stop comparing me to him, then maybe we can move forward.”
The honesty of his words surprised her. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but more of a promise that there was more to their future and he wanted to be there. As fast as she’d gotten upset, he’d deflated it. Jakob released her and stepped back, a sad smile to his face as if he thought he’d not gotten through to her. He had though, and she was stunned by his words. He walked to his car and climbed inside, yet she didn’t move. He was leaving, and she was letting him. Finally, she raised a hand – unsure if she was trying to stop him or waving, and ended up covering her mouth as she held back a wail of regret.
8
Nikki didn’t see Jakob until Saturday evening. She’d asked for space and he had given it. Those empty days were spent in solitude, almost as if she was mourning the distance between them. She almost called or texted him several times, but she didn’t want to make the first move. He’d been right, and she knew it. He wasn’t Ryan and yet she kept comparing him. She was fighting a relationship with a wonderful man by putting him in the shoes of a true loser.
Jakob had knocked on her door early Saturday evening. He stood there in a sweater and khakis with that irritating aloof look on his face. She knew that it was a defensive mechanism because she’d had a glimpse at the happiness that he was capable of. She saw a crack in the wall when she opened the door as he looked at her.
“Enchanting,” he admitted, standing there on the stoop politely. “You look utterly beautiful.”
“And you should come inside while I get Travis. Where is your coat at,” she blurted out and felt herself blushing hotly. She wasn’t his mother and sounded just like a harpy. If things were strained between them, it was her fault and the last thing she wanted to do was push him away further. Travis took that moment to shove himself past her, throwing himself bodily at Jakob.
“Hey buddy!” Jakob greeted him, swiping him up and into his arms. “Have you been good for your pretty mama?”
“Sometimes,” Travis hedged, glancing a wary eye at Nikki. “I didn’t pick up my cars and mama got mad about my coloring on the wall.” Jakob’s eyebrow shot up in question as he stared at the toddler in his arms.
“So, what would make her happy?” he asked Travis, prompting him. “Because we have a Christmas party to go to and I don’t want you in trouble. I heard there was going to be “O’s”, cheese blocks and cookies to snack on. You know we men love “O’s” on our pizza.”
“I’m gonna go pick up my cars right now!” Travis announced and began to wriggle in Jakob’s arms. He set him down and looked at Nikki, still waiting on the front stoop where he’d been tackled by the three-year-old.
“Come inside, please,” Nikki told him softly and held out her hand as an unspoken olive branch. She was afraid he was mad since he’d not called or reached out, but she hadn’t either. Were things still okay between them or had she ruined it all? She had her answer in two seconds flat, as Jakob stepped inside and pulled her into his arms in a massive bear hug.
“I know it’s crazy and you wanted your space, but I’ve missed you something awful. Whatever’s wrong, can we talk about it?” he whispered in her hair. Nikki felt herself melt against his large frame, feeling a sense of peace steal into her soul. She nodded against his chest and held Jakob tightly.
“You are sniffing my mama again, Jakob?” she heard Travis blurt out behind where they stood. Jakob’s laugh made his shoulders tremble where she’d wrapped her arms around him.
“Yes sir, she smells pretty spectacular too,” Jakob told Travis. Nikki glanced up at his face to see that he’d let his guard down and his hazel eyes were turbulent with pent up emotion. Nodding, she wrapped a hand around his neck and tugged him down, kissing him gently. The bitter sweetness of it made her heart ache.
“I’ve missed you,” he breathed against her lips.
“I’m so glad you are here,” she answered, only to have him interrupt her by kissing her again. His warm lips held so much promise and emotion, how had she ever questioned where her feelings stood?
“Ewwwwwww gross,” Travis interrupted, tugging on Nikki’s dress. “Mama, Jakob. You sniff like this!” His toddler face scrunched up his nose in exaggeration. “Not like this!” His mouth opened wide, where he began huffing and puffing. Nikki and Travis looked at each other in surprise, blurting out laughing at the description he’d given.
“Can we take a few photos?” she asked, suddenly inspired. She wanted to print out some more photos and put them on the fridge. When she’d made the snow globe, she’d realized that they didn’t have any of them together. Stepping away, she was suddenly pulled back into his arms.
“Here,” Jakob told her, handing her his own phone. “I’m not sure I’m ready to let you out of my sight for a moment yet,” he teased, holding up the phone to take a picture of the two of them. Travis began jumping up and down excitedly, his arms up in the air begging to be picked up. Jakob lifted him up and held him aloft, while Nikki snapped a photo of the thr
ee of them. Several were serious photos, but several involved the three of them sticking out their tongues at each other. Her favorite was the last photo.
It was a photo of Travis sitting on Jakob’s shoulders, hugging him, while Jakob and she were looking at each other tenderly. The simple, unguarded, expressive photo showed exactly what she knew in her heart. They were perfect, the three of them. She quickly texted the photos to her own phone before handing it back to him while he was tying Travis’ shoes. It was the little things that he did that would be unnoticed to some, but those touching moments had wiggled their way into her heart.
She loved him.
* * *
Dinner at his family’s house was overwhelming to say the very least. It might have been just Jakob and his sister growing up, but the influx of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents was astonishing. She’d never seen anything like it. There must have been at least forty adults as well as ten to fifteen children of all ages. People were walking around with disposable cameras, taking photos left and right. His mother had taken the time to give everyone name stickers for her sake and she appreciated the thoughtfulness.
“I remember being overwhelmed too, dear. Think nothing of it,” Evelyn told her with a warm smile and shooed her into the crowd, taking her coat. Travis was climbing up Jakob’s side in a mad rush to get to the children who were running and screaming through the loud house. Jakob set him down, removing the coat from the wiggling child, and instructed him to ‘be good’ before letting him loose to run with the other children. Nikki took a step towards her son before being blocked by several family members greeting her. She glanced over their shoulders distractedly and saw Travis was having a grand time playing with a few children about his age.
“It’s about time I see you at one of these shindigs,” Nikki heard loudly behind her and saw a woman fly into Jakob’s arms. If they didn’t look so much alike, she’d have been extremely worried. This must be his sister, Julia. She was stunning and had the same hazel eyes as Jakob did, a near mirror image of him yet extremely feminine. She was tall like her brother but instead of his brownish hair, hers was highlighted heavily and near blond in color.
Perfectly Matched: Opposites Attract (Match Made In Heaven Book 1) Page 6
