by Dana Burkey
“But our raw score,” I began again, only to be cut off.
“Everyone get in positions for your elite flying and then we’ll go over the changes,” Nicole said before turning to me. “Max, can I talk to you for a minute.”
I gave Lexi and Halley a confused look, but they just shrugged and moved to stand in the places Nicole had directed. I noticed that Tonya was now on the mat as well, talking to the first of the stunt groups, and likely explaining the new motions to the flier. Since Tonya was the gym’s main flying coach it made sense that Nicole brought her in to help us rework the routine. Pushing those thoughts aside, I followed Nicole off the mat, not sure what she was going to say.
“I understand you're frustrated, Max,” she said finally. “And I feel the same way. But for some of these girls, it’s hard to do moves that come easily to you. They just can’t stay in the air. And I would rather them stay up and feel like they did their best at what they can do, then to fall and fail. If we hit a clean routine and still don’t win at least we can say we did what we planned to accomplish. But if we push it super hard and lose, then it won’t build up their confidence at all.”
“So we’re going to admit defeat, and just choose what form of defeat we accept?” I asked, trying to sum up all that I had just heard.
“No,” Nicole began again. “We have girls on this team that will be on a level 3 team for another year or two. They can’t push to places you can. They don’t have skills that you have. We started the season out by hitting a routine, winning a bid to Summit, and everyone felt great. But then when we started to make it harder we learned we aren’t quite ready for that. Maybe next year we can make the routine harder and push the team more. But for now, all we can do is work at our skill level and make it clean. I know it’s not the easiest decision to make, but it’s the best one for everyone on the team.”
I noticed she said a lot of the same things my dad had said after the last Blast practice. In response, I simply nodded. But inside, I was screaming. No matter what sport I was playing or what game I was trying, I was competitive. Losing wasn’t fun, even if it was at something as new to me as cheerleading. I knew this was likely because for me all of the flying and tumbling was super easy. The extra classes and time in the gym working with Gary and Tonya and my friends from higher level teams like Connor and Gwen helped even harder skills to be basically second nature. Finally, I walked back to where my stunt group was waiting. I tried to control my frustration though, and not let it show to the other girls.
“We’re just doing a lib and then a heel stretch before the arabesque,” Halley filled me in quickly
“We’re taking out the tick tock in the lib?” I asked, certain she forgot to mention it.
“Yes,” Halley nodded, looking rather dejected. “We’re also taking out the scorpion and your tumbling into the basket.”
“Tonya said even if Nicole changes things in the pyramid, your part should still be the same,” Olivia quickly said, likely noticing the look on my face.
“Okay girls,” Nicole called out after Tonya had spoken to everyone and stepped off the mat. “From the top of this section. 5-6-7-8.”
I spent the rest of the evening trying my best to put on a fake smile and work on the routine with the changes. I was still doing all of the same tumbling I had been working on all season, but with changes in my flying, it was hard to have a good attitude. Instead of holding my leg up in the scorpion I was used to, I was simply standing on one leg in the lib, or liberty pose. It was just one of the many things I had to do instead of the harder moves I had worked so hard to learn. Nicole called out encouragements as we worked on learning the easier routine, then ran everything full out a few times. Everyone was having a much better time staying in the air, and we even hit the routine without mistakes on only the third try. It proved the changes were a good idea, but still did little to help me feel happy about all of them.
“Good job today Max,” Tonya said to me as I was packing up my gym bag after practice was over.
“Thanks,” I said to Tonya, although I’m certain my facial expression didn’t match my words. I was too bummed about everything to fake it any longer. And, as if dealing with everything wasn’t bad enough, I was, of course, stopped by a familiar face before I could make it to where my dad was waiting for me near the door.
“The routine looks really cute,” Leanna said, flashing me an exaggerated smile. “For a second there I thought I was watching a level 2 team performing.”
Ever since I first met Leanne at a private practice shortly after I joined the gym, I got the sense she didn’t like me much. She was always quick to shoot glares at me, make rude comments, and especially roll her eyes. Unlike when Gwen rolled her eyes, Leanne was always annoyed and serious in her disdain for me. I had observed her rolling her eyes at other people and even making not so nice comments here and there, so I got the feeling it was just her personality. But, knowing that still did little to make me warm up to her.
Part of the reason could have been that everything about Leanne seemed a little forced and fake to me. Even when she was at the gym for practices she wore more makeup than some girls I saw at competition. Her blue eyes were always surrounded by thick layers of makeup and even fake eyelashes. It didn’t help that her hair was so blond it was almost white, but not in the natural way that both Lexi and Matthews’s hair looked. Her hair was bleached and teased and curled so big it was a lot to take in, especially against her skin. Like a lot of girls that I saw at cheer, Leanne spent time in the tanning bed to get ready for competition. But, unlike a lot of girls, Leanna didn’t seem to know when to stop. Her tan was so dark and almost orange that, when added to her makeup and hair, it was impossible not to look at her. And not always in a good way. Sure, she was thin and muscular and only an inch or two taller than me, but her look was so over the top it seemed to get her attention for how out of place she looked even around other cheerleaders.
“We’re just making a few changes for this weekend,” I finally said to Leanna, knowing she was just looking for a way to make another comment. Like many times before, I got the feeling she was going out of her way to be petty.
“You did awesome,” a voice said behind me. Turning, I was happy to see Connor walking up to me with a smile on his face. “You’re going to hit for sure with the changes to the routine.”
“Thanks, Connor,” I smiled, glad for his vote of confidence, and also the distraction from Leanna’s rude comments. “Are you ready for Saturday?”
“Saturday’s going to be a breeze,” Connor grinned, his face lighting up and drawing even more attention to his dimples, as always. “If we lose Saturday then it’s no big deal. What I’m worried about is Worlds.”
“You’ll do great,” I assured him quickly. “You’ve come in first or second all season. Everyone is saying you're a shoo-in for the finals.”
“We better. We have to keep the gym’s reputation good in case other teams fail,” Leanne said with a fake smile before she walked towards the mat where the other members of Nitro were getting ready for practice. I knew she was making yet another comment about Blast and the fact we hadn’t been doing great all season but chose to ignore it since at least she was walking away from me.
“I should get going,” I said, knowing Connor’s practice would be starting soon.
“See you Saturday,” Connor said to me before I turned to head out of the gym. “Oh, and Max?”
“Yeah?” I asked, pausing to face him again.
“Even if you don’t get to show it when you fly with the new routine, everyone is going to see how amazing you are when you tumble.”
I nodded in response, a grin quickly growing on my face. It faded some when I noticed that Leanne was once again shooting me one of her death glares. Not wanting to join her in whatever bad mood she had found herself in once again, I simply gave Connor a goodbye wave and turned to walk to where my dad waiting for me.
Before I started cheerleading I never once th
ought about my hair. I either pulled it in some kind of a ponytail or let it hang around my face without a thought. And it never bothered me. But then, I joined the TNT Force gym and realized that my hair was important. Not just my hair, but also my makeup and wardrobe. It was a lot to take in, and even more to learn. I had to wear my hair in a ponytail high enough to show off a bow, I needed to put on enough makeup for the judges to see it from across a dark and crowded room. All of that, as you might guess, is easier said than done. But it was all a part of the look. A look, that in the case of both my practice uniform and team uniform, was basically covered top to bottom with rhinestones and glitter.
“Dad, did you buy more hair spray?” I called from my bathroom. I was diligently trying to tease my hair bright and early on this Saturday morning.
“Under your sink,” he called back. “We need to leave in half an hour.”
Letting out a sigh, I opened the cupboard and pulled out a nice new can of mega hold hair spray. I coated my hair in it before attacking it again with my teasing comb. Doing my makeup in the car was easy enough, but my hair needed to be ready when I walked out the door. Lexi and Halley had spent a lot of time trying to teach me how to curl my hair with a wand, make a front ‘poof,’ and even put my bow in place without needing help. But every time I got ready before a competition, it still took a lot of effort. The only good thing was that after the hour car ride to the competition site, I would be able to get a little help touching up everything before I had to perform.
“Ready!” I called, racing out of the bathroom looking only half put together. I was wearing a short-sleeved black shirt with TNT Force glittering on the front in silver and red letters, and a pair of black sweat pants. The look was quite a juxtaposition to my hair that was teased and styled into a mass of brown curls, all coated in a thick layer of hair spray.
“You’re performing like that?” Kyle asked, glancing up in shock from where he sat on the couch.
“No,” I said with a frown. “I have to do my makeup in the car.”
Looking Kyle’s way, I wasn’t surprised to see he had both Thunder and Lightning sitting in his lap. The two kittens joined my family after my dad bribed me to give the cheer gym a try. At the time I assumed I would end up with two cats and no more cheerleading. Boy, was I wrong on that one. Kyle speaking to me had been loud enough to wake up both kittens, causing them to open their sleepy kitty eyes. After all, it was still only just after six in the morning. Thunder let out a yawn then tried to curl back up into a little gray ball and sleep. Lightning, however, began moving his small white and orange striped body around to get comfortable before trying to go back to sleep. I knew they were going to be moved and likely woken up again when it was time to leave, but they would get over it. They were still young enough that they slept often during the day; usually when they finally stopped running around the house and playing.
“I’ll carry your bag,” Peter offered as he walked into the room, picking up my glittery red gym bag that contained my uniform, makeup, and cheer shoes.
“Thanks,” I breathed as I slipped on my matching glitter backpack and headed outside to start getting loaded into the car.
Checking my phone as I climbed into the back seat with Kyle a minute later, I saw that I had missed lot of texts from the girls in my stunt group. When we were traveling from home for competitions we always started the day with a chat to get us ready to perform. The chat was usually reminders about parts of the routine we struggled with in practice, songs we should listen to that would help us get pumped up, and of course lots of corresponding selfies on Snapchat. I was still working on getting good at selfies but snapped one with the note ‘time for makeup in the car’ so everyone knew why I wouldn’t be texting for a little while longer.
“More selfies?” Peter asked, startling me. Looking up I saw he was smooshing his face between his seat and the side of the car so he was closer to me. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of his face all scrunched up, framed by his curly black hair.
“Just one,” I laughed. “I have to do my makeup now for real.”
“Okay,” he sighed, turning to face forward once again.
I began unpacking my makeup bag, lying the tools and products around me to be reached easily. Beside me, Kyle was in a world of his own playing games on his phone with his headphones and everything. Just when all of my makeup was laid out and I was ready to get started applying it, my phone went off. Assuming it was a photo from Halley or Anna, I opened Snapchat and was surprised to see a photo of Peter. It was an up close selfie, with mostly just his green eyes in the photo. They were crossed at such an extreme pose that I instantly had to stifle a laugh.
“Stop,” I said trying not to smile. “I need to do my makeup.”
Peter apologized, allowing me to get back to work. But, as I began to spread makeup over my face in thick strokes that would look bold and exciting even from across a room, I could hear my phone buzzing frequently with more messages from the front seat of the car. Trying my best to ignore them, I managed to get everything but my eyeliner and mascara done by the time we pulled into the quickly filling parking lot of the high school where we would be performing. I knew I would be able to coat on the mascara okay by myself, but even after trying over and over, I couldn’t quite put on my eyeliner the way the other girls could. I always needed help to get both eyes to match, complete with winged out corners.
“You’re here!” a voice called out as I was finally climbing out of the car.
Turning, I wasn’t at all surprised to see Lexi skipping towards me. She was wearing the same outfit I was, only with a pair of short red shorts replacing my sweatpants. I gave her a hug then grabbed my bags, taking the one Peter had hauled into the car.
“Can you help me with my eyeliner?” I asked Lexi, knowing she would eagerly agree.
“Duh!” She laughed before linking her arm with mine and taking off towards the buildings’ entrance.
“See you in there,” I called behind myself, knowing my dad would find the other TNT cheer parents before too long.
“Are you going to answer that?” Lexi asked, noticing my buzzing phone before I did.
“Oh, it’s just another Snapchat from Peter I bet,” I sighed. “He was sending them the whole way here.”
Opening my phone, I couldn’t help but laugh at the image that popped up. Not only was Peter smiling in the photo, he was joined for the selfie by both Kyle and my dad. My dad stuck out in the photo, his skin much lighter than my neighbors, who got their dark tan skin from their Mexican heritage. As if that wasn’t enough to make my dad stand out, his eyes looked more gray than green compared to the emerald colored eyes surrounding him. His hair was also looking extra gray in the photo. especially at the temples where his brown hair was less and less evident all the time. Kyle and Peter, on the other hand, had matching black hair that was curled up in tiny ringlets. If it wasn’t for Peter’s angular jaw and thinner face, Kyle could almost pass for his twin.
“Any messages from Connor?” Lexi asked, a strange look on her face after seeing the photo Peter had sent me.
“I don’t think so,” I said with a shrug before checking. “Oh. I have a few missed ones from him. And the group text.”
Knowing I was about to see everyone, I slipped my phone back into my pocket and continued walking into the school. It wasn’t worth the time to reply to messages when I had hair to fix and makeup to finish and a uniform to put on. And that was exactly what I did. Lexi, with her expert hair skills, touched up the curls that I hadn’t gotten quite right. Halley helped me get the eyeliner applied to my lids in a perfect sweep that I still hadn't mastered. Then, she helped me get enough layers of mascara on to match everyone else on the team. It left me with just enough time to get my uniform on before we had to head to warm-ups.
Giving myself one last glance in the bathroom mirror after changing, I was happy to see I looked the part of an all star cheerleader once again. Our uniform skirts were black with thick wh
ite and red stripes along the bottom hem that was spotted with rhinestones. The top of the uniform was a long sleeved black shirt that had the same glittering white and red bands around the neck and down the sleeves, both dotted with sparkling rhinestones. On the chest of the uniform, much like all of the official clothing from the gym, the letters TNT Force were printed big and bold for everyone to see in glittery red and silver. The uniforms were simple compared to some of the other teams we went up against each weekend, but with the addition of the big hair, big bows, layers of makeup, and bold white cheer shoes, it was good enough for me.
“Selfie!” Halley announced the second I walked out of the bathroom. Much like buying bows when we lost, pre-warm up selfies were also a competition tradition. Like always, we snapped the photo and posted it on all of our social media accounts before following the rest of the girls on Blast as they walked towards the room where we were going to be stretching before warm-ups.
“Did you check your phone yet?” Lexi asked, peering over my shoulder as I posted the photo to my Instagram account.
“I’ll do it now,” I assured her, pulling up my messages. After skimming the latest in the group text, I pulled up the message from Connor and was happy to see his simple message.
“Win or lose, watered down or full force, you are one of the best cheerleaders I know, and I can’t wait to see you kill it today!”
“How sweet!” Halley immediately said into my ear, clearly having read the text over my shoulder.
Ignoring her, and the looks Lexi was sending my way, I wrote a quick “thank you” to Connor before sliding my phone into my cheer bag. As expected, my dad was waiting to give me a hug and take my bags as we walked into our stretching area. I planted a quick kiss on his cheek then gave a high-five to both Peter and Kyle. Then, knowing I needed to get ready to take the stage, I followed after my friends and started preparing for the upcoming performance.
