His concern caused another round of funny things to happen in my chest. My gaze lowered to his mouth. “It was…you were perfect.”
“What? Is that a compliment? From you?” He paused. “The same person who threatened to cut off my balls?”
“Can I take that back?”
“The cutting off my balls part?”
“No. The compliment part.”
“Harsh.”
I grinned, finding it surprising how…comfortable I was with him, even though I was lying there buck-ass naked with all my flaws on display. And there were a lot of them. Not just the scars, but the many, many nights of eating pizza, ice cream, chips….
“It’s been a while for me, too.” His voice was quiet.
That didn’t shock me. I looked up. “Not since the Queen’s spell broke?”
“No. The night you allowed me to feed, the night you saved me was the closest I’ve been to anyone really.”
“Why me?” The question left me before I could stop myself. “God, that sounded terrible. I mean, there is no shortage of women or men who’d light themselves on fire to be with you. And you and I, we are…”
“Complicated?”
My gaze searched his face. “That would be one word I’d use.”
“I don’t know, Brighton. I didn’t think this would happen, and I don’t think you came here expecting this.”
I laughed. “Yeah, no.”
The half-smile returned. “Those people you say would light themselves on fire to be with me? Most of them would because of who I am. The King.” His brows lowered as his hand stilled on my hip. “I didn’t—”
Although he didn’t finish, I thought I knew what he was going to say. “You didn’t want to be King.”
His eyes met mine, and there was something in them. A brief flash of emotion that traveled across his face but was gone before I could figure out what it was. “No, I didn’t. It was one of the reasons I hadn’t fed. When I did that, it put this into motion, and when I used the King’s sword, that was it. That was when I ascended.”
My mind traveled back to when that had happened. Caden had been different afterward. Quiet. And when Tink had seen him, what had he asked? Should I bow? Tink had sensed that the Prince had become the King.
“Why? Why do you not want to be King?”
His gaze shifted then to a place above my head, and he was quiet for a long time. “Certain traditions are…well, they are more like law. The kind that supersedes even biology. And…it was not something I wanted. Not after…”
Supersede biology? That made little sense, but the world of the fae was drastically different than that of the humans, just as it was similar. “You don’t think you deserve to be King, do you? Because of what you did while under the Queen’s control.”
Caden’s eyes shot back to mine. “There are a lot of things I don’t think I deserve because of that, but the kingdom is not one of them.”
“But—?”
“But, this?” His hand slid around to my ass. He squeezed, wringing a gasp from me. “I don’t think I deserve this either. Knowing that hasn’t stopped me.” He shifted suddenly, and I felt his hardness against my hip a moment before he rolled me onto my stomach. “And knowing what I do, it isn’t going to stop me now.”
My fingers dug into the sheets as I felt his mouth on my spine. He trailed a path of kisses down to my ass before he lifted my hips. “I’m selfish. I don’t think you realize that.”
A cry of pleasure left me as he entered me in one deep stroke that would’ve hurt if not for what we’d done before. Bracing himself on his arms, he caged me as his hips moved ruthlessly against mine, plunging in and out at a pace that was almost brutal and yet unbelievably hot. His lips pressed against my temple as he lifted a hand, working it under me. Those agile fingers found my bundle of nerves, and the combination of sensations was like a streak of lightning electrifying my blood. I rose onto my elbows, moving my hips back against him, panting as the release building in me came closer and closer to the edge.
He seemed to know when it was coming because he pulled out and rolled me onto my back again. There was only a brief rush of cool air against my heated, damp skin, and then his body was pressing down on mine, pressing into mine. I tangled myself with him, arms and legs and tongues twined, and when I came, so did he, and it was just as intense as the one before.
This time, after it was over, I somehow ended up sprawled across his chest, my muscles and bones completely gone.
If this was Caden being selfish, I had no problem with it. At all.
His fingers idly moved along my lower back, and I might’ve dozed off. I wasn’t sure. But the feeling of being…content was pure bliss.
I never wanted to move.
But I had to. And then what? Where did we go from here? Part of me was afraid to ask, but we’d just shared bodily fluids, so I needed to get over that.
“Caden?”
“Yes?” he rasped.
Keeping my cheek against his chest, I swallowed. “Where do we go from here?”
His hand stilled for a fraction of a moment. “I imagine you will continue hunting for Aric.”
That wasn’t what I had been asking about, but since he mentioned it… “Yes, I will.”
Caden’s chest rose beneath my cheek as he let out a heavy sigh. “I wish you would let me handle this. I plan to kill him, and I will make it slow and painful. I will make sure that he begs for your forgiveness before I end his life. Isn’t that enough?”
I lifted my head and propped my chin on his chest so I could look at him. “It’s not enough. It’s not the same.”
His eyes closed. “What else did they take from you that night?”
I pressed my lips together as I sorted through what I wanted to say. “Ivy and Ren don’t think I’m capable enough to be out there hunting. Like, at all. Not even run-of-the-mill fae. They just want me to be the Brighton I was before, one who was content to be on call doing research. I was happy that way.”
Caden’s hand started to move again. “And that changed?”
“Yeah.” I returned my cheek to his chest, staring at the dark wall. “They took that. My contentment. My happiness with the way things were. I saw value in my purpose before, and they took that, too.” I closed my eyes. “And they stole what I thought I knew about myself.”
“Were you happy before?” he asked. “Truly?”
I opened my mouth, but I found I couldn’t answer that question.
“You were afraid,” he stated, and my eyes opened. “You were afraid of me before. You helped my brother, but you were afraid of him, too. Even Tink. You blended then. Or at least tried to. You didn’t want to be seen. You just wanted to exist in your own corner of your world.”
My breath caught.
“Afterward, you were no longer afraid. You stopped trying to blend in. Now, you’re seen, and you’re heard. You stand up for yourself. You’re living. They did take a lot from you, Brighton. Your mother. Your contentment. But it also seems like you gained a lot. Not from them, but from yourself.”
Chapter 6
Tink didn’t end up leaving Monday night. Supposedly, he’d read on the internet that Tuesday was actually the best and safest day to travel. I had no idea if that was true or not. But it’d worked out because I’d spent Monday evening with him and Fabian marathoning the Avengers until one in the morning. We’d only made it through a handful of the million movies, but at this point, I was just grateful that Tink had moved on from Harry Potter and Twilight. Not that I had anything against them. I loved them with all my heart, but I was confident that I could quote at least half of those movies at this point.
I was just happy to spend a little more time with them and Dixon. It really was going to be weird waking up without a cat sitting on my chest or Tink singing made-up songs about eggs and bacon. I was happy for him, though. This trip would be good not only for him and Fabian, but Ivy was also right. It was far past time for Tink to see something other tha
n the Amazon website.
Having them to help occupy my evening had also stopped me from obsessing over what had happened that afternoon—and what hadn’t.
Luckily, Tink and Fabian had been squirreled away in Tink’s room when I returned from Caden’s. Otherwise, it would’ve been hard to explain why I was wearing an oversized man’s shirt with a skirt.
Caden had never answered what came next for us, and that left me…unsettled. I wasn’t naive enough to think that sex—even great sex—equaled a relationship. But for me, well, it sort of did. I didn’t care what it meant or didn’t mean for other people, but for me, that was how I operated. That was why I was so shocked that I had done it at all. Surprised that there hadn’t been a moment where I’d thought we should pump the brakes. It also stunned me that I had been so comfortable with him afterward. In the few previous relationships I’d had, I didn’t lay around naked to chat. I was always quick to cover up. But with Caden, I never felt like I had anything to hide or any reason to.
After he’d dropped that little truth bomb about how much I’d given back to myself after the attack, he’d received a call from Tanner and had to return to Hotel Good Fae. He’d kissed me goodbye, but there’d been no promises of any sort. The only thing I think he finally accepted was that I wasn’t going to quit looking for Aric.
I’d come this far, and I wasn’t going to stop now.
When I finally did go to bed that night, I’d ended up falling right to sleep. The multiple orgasms probably had a lot to do with that, along with the popcorn-induced food coma. But throughout the day, while I searched my mother’s books for anything about Devil’s Breath and headed into the offices to comb through all the papers filed away there, my thoughts kept drifting back to Caden’s apartment. To what he’d done, what I’d done, and I came to a realization. It…it had to mean something. All of it had to. Why he didn’t want me out there looking for Aric. The reason he felt like he needed to protect me. Caden wanted me, whether he liked it or not, and that had to mean something. Because he had only been with me since he came out of the Queen’s spell, and I hadn’t been stroking his ego by stating that he could have anyone he wanted. He could, and he…he wanted me.
As I thumbed through dusty papers, scanning them, I wondered about the traditions he’d spoken of that he wanted to avoid enough to not want to be the King. Part of me still believed that he didn’t feel worthy enough after what he’d done, and I hated that for him because I knew how it felt.
My mind shifted to Ivy and Ren, who I hadn’t seen yet today.
I knew what it was to not feel good enough.
My research was about as fruitful as stressing over Caden and myself. Nothing came out of either. By the time I returned home, I had a headache from sneezing over the dusty papers that no one had looked at in ages.
I passed a small army of fae outside my place loading up suitcase after suitcase as I walked inside. I stopped counting at six bags.
Dropping my keys and purse on the foyer table, I found Tink in the living room with Fabian. Dixon sat on the couch, staring at the carrier with his ears flat. He wore a little kitty shirt that read WORLD’S WORST BACKSEAT DRIVER.
I grinned at that as I walked over, scratching the little guy’s head. “How many suitcases are you guys taking?”
“The better question would be how many suitcases is Tink taking,” Fabian answered with a smile. He looked so much like his brother, except his hair was much longer, and he wasn’t as big. Then again, most people, fae or human, weren’t as big as Caden.
“I need to make sure that I have everything I could possibly want,” Tink defended himself. “Plus, I had to pack Dixon’s toys—”
“And his cat house and cat tree.” Fabian smiled. “Along with a cat bathing suit.”
My brows lifted. “They make cat bathing suits?”
Tink’s eyes glimmered. “I found it on Amazon, and I cannot wait to see him in his swim trunks.”
I glanced down at the cat, wishing I could be there when Tink attempted to introduce Dixon to swimming. Poor cat.
“My Prince,” a fae said from the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt, but there is a message for you from the King.”
My stomach did a stupid little tumble at the mention of Caden.
Fabian nodded at us as he stepped around the coffee table. “Please excuse me.”
I waited until he was out of earshot. “He’s always so polite.”
“I know.” Tink widened his eyes. “It’s annoying.”
“Shut up,” I laughed. “It’s a breath of fresh air.”
“It is.” Tink scooped up Dixon. “But his politeness makes me feel uncivilized, like I was raised by animals in the wild.”
“Well…”
He shot me a look as he placed Dixon in front of the carrier. The cat seemed to sigh but climbed in. “By the way, I think that’s the first time someone said ‘the King’ around you where you haven’t muttered ‘asshole’ under your breath. Turning over a new leaf?”
“No. He’s still an asshole,” I said without much heat.
Tink looked at me over his shoulder. “He is trapped by duty. That is what he is.”
“What kind of duty?” I asked, thinking of what Caden had said about the traditions.
“Lite Bright, there is not enough time to talk about all his duties.” Locking the door on the carrier, Tink met my stare. “But suffice it to say there are a lot of things that he has to do and say because of that. He had to sacrifice what he cherished most to become King.”
“What would that be? Freedom to do as he pleases?” Which would be a lot.
A faint, almost sad smile appeared on Tink’s face. “In a way, I suppose.”
Fabian returned then. “It is time for us to leave, Tink.”
My heart grew heavy at those words, and as I looked around my living room, it already felt emptier. “Have fun.” I plastered what I hoped was a bright smile on my face. “And take pictures and send them to me.”
“I’ll take so many pictures, it’ll blow your phone up!” My laugh was cut off as Tink all but tackled me with his embrace. We held onto each other for so long, I didn’t think he’d ever let go, but he did, and I saw that his eyes appeared damp when he pulled back. “Tink,” I whispered, sliding my palms down his arms until I reached his hands. I squeezed them. “I’ll see you soon.”
“And you’ll be okay?”
“Of course. Do not worry one second about me.”
He opened his mouth as if he wished to say something, but then he just nodded. “I suck at goodbyes.” He popped forward, kissing my cheek, and then he hurried to Dixon’s carrier, all but running out of the house. “Oh, there’s a package coming from Amazon with the name Peter Parker on it,” he yelled. “Don’t open it! Just put it in my room.”
I laughed, shaking my head as I turned to Fabian. “I don’t even want to know what’s in that package.”
“Strangely, neither do I.” Fabian came forward, hugging me. “You know, you are welcome to join us if you find yourself with free time. I would love to have you there.”
“I’ll think about that.”
“Please do.”
“Take care of him,” I whispered as I hugged Fabian, thinking how strange it was that a few years ago I never would’ve considered embracing a fae.
“Always,” he replied, pulling back. “I imagine you will be heading out yourself, to the meeting my brother called.”
Meeting?
“I do believe Ivy and Ren are on their way,” he added, reaching down and picking up a tote. “They received word that they believe will lead them to the Ancient who wishes to free the Queen.” His gaze caught mine with meaning. “Be safe, Brighton.”
I turned, watching him leave. Something told me that he knew I was unaware of the meeting and was telling me about it. My stomach knotted. Caden had information about Aric and didn’t tell me. I wasn’t exactly surprised by that. While he may be more accepting of me being out there hunting, that didn’t me
an he was going to help me find Aric. But it still stung.
The silence of the house settled around me.
Snapping forward, I hurried to the foyer and snatched the keys off the table.
Uninvited or not, I was not being cut out of this meeting.
* * * *
I knew exactly where to find them.
There were several rooms used for meetings on the main level of Hotel Good Fae, and we often moved from one to the other. But the two male fae standing outside the closed door with their backs rigid and their hands clasped was a dead giveaway.
The Knights were always present when Caden was here. I imagined he must stop them from following him when he was at his apartment. Or if they did trail him, they remained well-hidden.
I stopped in front of them, and one of them must’ve seen the look on my face because he stepped aside with a sigh.
“Thank you,” I said sweetly, opening the door.
Ivy and Ren sat across from Caden. Ivy was perched on the table, one leg curled up to her chest. Ren was sitting in the chair beside her. They looked over. Ren’s face went expressionless, but Ivy’s lips thinned. Faye and Kalen were also present, both standing by a window. The latter looked uncomfortable, but Faye looked well…annoyed. Like usual.
Caden was speaking. “Even though he was seen alone….” He trailed off, and without even turning around, I knew he knew it was me. “I see my brother has loose lips.”
The rather cold greeting after yesterday did more than sting, even though I told myself that this meeting wasn’t about us. It burned a hole right through my gut, but I lifted my chin. “I figured you just forgot to tell me.”
“Brighton,” Ivy began.
“Nope.” I held up my hand as I stalked across the room. Sitting down in one of the chairs, I calmly placed my purse on the floor. “I’m here. You all have some sort of information, and I’m a part of this whether you like it or not.”
Ivy looked down at Ren as if he were supposed to do something.
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