Fear struck her as she thought that his motive might be to make ultimate fools of her and her family. The thought made her angry. Was Darcy enough of a scoundrel to do such a thing? She didn’t know the answer because she didn’t know the man. She knew little of his background, only the snippets she had heard from Jane when Bingley talked about his friend. And what she’d heard passing by the first time she met him.
She calmed herself, remembering the twinkle of excitement in his eye when he proposed their little plan. He seemed genuinely delighted by the thought of “getting one over” on someone else, while at the same time helping someone out.
Her back started to ache and she turned over on her other side. He was such a handsome man. Why did he have to be so confusing? Mr. Collins wasn’t confusing. He was what he was, and he expected those he met to accept that and respect him, whether he deserved it or not. Respect is earned, Elizabeth heard her father’s voice in her mind.
It almost seemed there were two different Mr. Darcys, and that the one she had seen at the first ball was the pompous, arrogant, ostentatious fool, while the second ball showed a much more playful, happy gentleman, a man she wouldn’t mind getting to know better.
How was she to tell which Darcy was genuine? If his arrogant side dominated, that would prove to make the task of making him seem lovable much more difficult. But she was intrigued by his playful nature that night, and wanted to see more of it.
“What is happening to me?” Elizabeth whispered into the dark night. “I appear to have lost all sense! I cannot and will not marry Mr. Collins. But to marry Mr. Darcy? I do not even know him. There is just as much chance I will be unhappy all of my life in either case.”
No one responded to her. She was alone. She would have to make her decision without the aid of her sisters, Charlotte, her parents, or anyone else who was wiser than she.
She pushed one hand under the pillow, turning to her right side. She closed her eyes and tried to force herself to go to sleep, but her mind was racing. She could see Darcy sitting next to her, his quick wit on display as he spoke quietly about the other women he had danced with. He seemed to have no problem giving her details about each one of them, which gave her the impression he found no interest in them. She had to believe he wouldn’t have offered up the information if he thought she would be jealous of them.
Why would she be jealous? she asked herself. As handsome as he was, Darcy hadn’t given her a good impression upon their first meeting. Now, with her opinion of him changing somewhat, his words from the first meeting stung even more. He was rude, he was arrogant. He looked down on people who didn’t have money or a title.
Yet he was impressed with her father. One thing she didn’t believe Darcy to be was a liar. He was anything but. He was brutal with his opinion, to a fault. He didn’t care who heard him or what the effect of his words might be. He was open with his thoughts.
Would he be as open to changing his behavior? He would have to, if he planned to take this arrangement and make it permanent. But it wasn’t permanent.
Was it?
Elizabeth sighed and rolled over again.
The words “plain” and “poor” kept going through her mind. Darcy wasn’t the kind of man who would easily change. Then again, he had changed her opinion of him in just one night. Even if it hadn’t been to a great extent, and she was still confused about him. His money and good looks didn’t attract her. Those might have worked for other women but not for her. Elizabeth wanted more than security and the comfort of a home with servants. She wanted an emotional attachment to her husband that would rival any love story she had ever read. She didn’t want to wake up every morning knowing that control of her life had been taken from her and given to Mr. Collins.
She needed to be careful. She needed to remember that men like Darcy, no matter how much money they had, were set in their ways. She thought about the upcoming ride and wondered what he would be like, who he would be when they talked. Would he be cordial and friendly? Or obnoxious and arrogant?
She pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut. “I want to go to sleep. Dear Lord, help me get to sleep.”
It took nearly another half hour for Elizabeth to fall asleep. And when she did her mind still raced, giving her dreams of Darcy and Bingley and Jane and her other sisters at parties, balls, dances, picnics. She was at Longbourn, she was at the parsonage, she was at Netherfield. One thing she didn’t dream about was Mr. Collins.
Chapter 10
Elizabeth dressed, trying not to feel nervous. In mere minutes, she would be telling her parents that Mr. Darcy had asked her to go on a ride through the park with him, and that she was interested in seeing where it might go. Her parents would likely be shocked. Her sisters would be shocked. Everyone would be shocked. Especially after his stinging words had shaped their opinions of him, as well as her own.
She went down the stairs slowly, running her hand along the smooth railing, her heart pounding in her chest. She knew her parents would approve of Mr. Darcy. They had to. He was handsome and wealthy. Her father had spoken with him very cordially, and hadn’t mentioned him in a negative way to the family. By Darcy’s own admission, they had gotten along quite well.
When she stepped into the dining room, her sisters and parents were already seated at the table. They looked up, and greeted her with smiles and “good morning”.
She wondered if they could tell that she was nervous. No one gave her an odd look so she proceeded to her chair and sat quietly, looking down at her currently empty plate. She listened as her family chatted about what they would be doing that day. She knew one of them would eventually get around to asking her what her plans were.
Eventually, Jane turned to her and asked the inevitable question.
“Do you have something planned for today, Lizzie?”
Elizabeth thought it was somewhat strange that everyone turned to look at her when Jane asked the question. She had to assume it was because she hadn’t spoken a word since she entered, and everyone else had already expressed what their day would entail. She swallowed, looked at Jane, and replied, “Yes, I have been invited to go on a carriage ride by Mr. Darcy. I have accepted.”
After a moment of stunned silence, during which all of her sisters and both her parents stared at her, she raised her eyebrows. “He was quite a gentleman last night, and I believe his intentions are good.”
“You just told us what he said the first time you met him,” Lydia cried. “He described us as poor and plain. How can you justify that and go out riding with him?”
Elizabeth frowned. She wanted her parents to say something, not her little sister. “As I said, he was quite a gentleman last night. Very amiable, sophisticated, and warm.”
“Warm?” Kitty shook her head. “That’s not how you described him before.”
“I suppose anyone should be given a chance to change the impression they made, if they want to change it,” Jane said softly. Lydia looked at her.
“You are only saying that because you have fallen in love with Mr. Bingley,” she said hotly. “Mr. Darcy is a friend of Mr. Bingley’s, so you want us to like him.”
Jane shook her head. The look on her face didn’t change. “That’s not true, Lydia. I think Mr. Darcy should be given a chance simply because he is trying.”
“A leopard does not change its spots.” Lydia was still shaking her head, looking fairly disgusted. Elizabeth wondered why Lydia was so vehement in her dislike of Mr. Darcy. She looked at Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, who had been exchanging furtive glances throughout their daughters’ conversation.
“What do you think?” she asked directly. “Is it a good idea?”
“We were making plans for you, Lizzie,” Mrs. Bennet replied. “We were under the assumption you had not found interest in any suitors.”
“If you are referring to a marriage arrangement between myself and Mr. Collins, I am aware of it,” Elizabeth replied, with more courage than she thought she had. Her voice was unwaverin
g, and her outer determination overshadowed her nervousness about the scheme. “However, I am not interested in Mr. Collins. Not as a husband. Barely as a friend.”
Lydia and Kitty both giggled, covering their mouths with one hand.
“And now you are interested in going for a ride with a man who insulted the family?” Mrs. Bennet asked in a dark voice.
Mr. Bennet finally said something, and when he spoke his family sat in silence, listening. “I recently had a conversation with Mr. Darcy, Lizzie. He did not mention wanting to court you or any of your sisters. However, if he asked you last night and, as you say, he was a gentleman toward you, you have my blessing. We had a rather interesting conversation. I found him to be quite intelligent. He did not give me the impression he thought I was anything less than a gentleman of honor.”
Mrs. Bennet looked at him through narrow eyes. “What will we tell Mr. Collins? He is set on marrying Lizzie.”
“Mr. Collins has just as much chance of gaining Elizabeth’s hand as Mr. Darcy,” Lydia spoke up. “She doesn’t like either one of them.”
Titters went around the table as her sisters tried to restrain their laughter. Elizabeth’s cheeks reddened, and she lowered her head without smiling. She picked up a biscuit from the basket in front of her and took a bite, hoping it would keep her from having to answer any real questions. The truth behind her plan with Mr. Darcy pushed on her tongue, but she dared not say a thing about it when her parents were sitting there listening. She had no idea how they would react to such a plot. Especially when it left them wondering what to do about Mr. Collins.
She didn’t want to make eye contact with any of her sisters, either. They would surely have the thought that if she wasn’t going to marry Mr. Collins, one of them might have to. She didn’t want them to blame her for it, should something like that happen.
“I do not understand why she would want to marry either one of them,” Kitty said, shaking her head as she reached for a biscuit. She gazed at it hungrily, as though she had never seen a biscuit before and would probably never see one again. Before she took a large bite from it, she looked over it at Elizabeth. “You do not want either of those men, Lizzie. You will be miserable with either or both.”
Elizabeth kept herself from agreeing with her sister. She chewed, a thoughtful look on her face, and after swallowing said softly, “I would not be happy with Mr. Collins. Everyone is aware of this.” She didn’t look at her parents, though she was speaking directly about them. “And Mr. Darcy has so far proven himself to be a pompous, arrogant man who looks down on those who are less fortunate than he. But of the two, I would choose Mr. Darcy. He has many redeeming qualities.”
“For instance, he is one of the most handsome men in England,” Lydia voiced, leaning forward and grinning at Elizabeth.
Elizabeth finally allowed herself to smile, and nodded. “That is one of them, Lydia.”
Her sisters laughed again.
“My dear sister,” Jane said. “You are the only woman I know who would be willing to give a man even the time of day after hearing what he said about her family. With your own ears you heard these words, and still you give him an opportunity to win your hand for life?” She shook her head. “It seems odd to me. You would not normally be so genteel and forgiving.”
“Are you saying I am not a forgiving woman?” Elizabeth wasn’t truly offended, but wanted to steer the conversation in another direction. She didn’t care for how quiet her parents were being. She knew they would have a few choice words for her later, when her sisters weren’t around.
Jane shook her head again. “Of course I am not saying that, Lizzie,” she replied gently. “I am merely observing that you are being more forgiving than I would have thought, under the circumstances. The fact that you are willing to give him another chance to redeem himself from his bad behavior means you are a very mature and understanding woman. Quite the opposite of an insult, would you not say?”
“I would say that,” Elizabeth nodded. “Thank you, Jane. As I said, he was cordial and amiable at the dance last night. I am looking forward to this ride so that I can see how he behaves.”
“Perhaps Mr. Bingley and I can join you for your ride?”
Elizabeth smiled wide. “I would like that, Jane.”
“Shall I send a messenger to Netherfield or Pemberley House?”
“Whichever you choose. I am sure they will discuss it. I would send the messenger to Pemberley House, though, as it would be much more prudent to ask the original inviter to change his plans.”
“All right. I will send a messenger to Pemberley House. Do you know when he is to arrive?”
“Half past two.”
“Well, that gives us plenty of time to send a messenger and get a reply, don’t you think?”
“I do.”
“Wonderful!”
“Jane, you were just saying you hoped to find a way to see Mr. Bingley today. What a lucky opportunity has fallen into your lap!” Lydia clapped her hands softly, a delighted look on her face. Jane smiled at her.
“Yes, it is ironic, is it not?”
Elizabeth finished her breakfast, avoiding making eye contact with her parents. They would catch her later, she was sure of that. She would need to keep her courage strong, regardless of what she really thought of Mr. Darcy.
Chapter 11
The irony continued when it later came to light that Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley had already spoken, and both were planning to meet the Bennet sisters that afternoon for a ride through the park. Jane’s messenger returned with the information at noon, delighting both sisters. Elizabeth was pleased Jane was riding along. It gave her a sense of satisfaction that her sister would be there.
The ride was brief, much shorter than Elizabeth was expecting. The sisters were back at Longbourn within two hours. Bingley and Darcy were gentlemen, but Elizabeth was somewhat taken aback by Darcy’s attitude toward Bingley and Jane as they conversed. At one point, the two couples left the carriage behind to walk through the park.
Jane pushed one hand through the crook of Bingley’s arm, and the two of them strolled beside the body of water streaming through the middle of the park. When she looked up at him, it was easy to see that Jane adored him. Elizabeth smiled softly, watching her sister, wishing she had someone to gaze upon in such a loving manner. Or that someone would look at her that way.
Someone other than Mr. Collins.
She looked up at Darcy. He was also watching Bingley and Jane, but the look on her face was much different than her own. He was looking at them with a slight look of disgust. It confused her.
“My goodness, Mr. Darcy, what is going through your mind? You look upset.”
He moved his eyes to look at her. “You do not know me well enough to know how I am feeling.”
Elizabeth was somewhat taken aback. She raised her eyebrows and gazed at him. “I did not mean to offend you. I do apologize.”
The look on Darcy’s face changed, and he shook his head. “I am the one who should apologize. I did not mean to snap at you in such a rude way.”
“It seems to me that it is part of your nature, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth’s voice was a bit cold, which she regretted. She didn’t want him to have the impression his thoughts would have an impact on her, or that how he was feeling mattered to her in the slightest. She regretted saying he looked upset, and wished she had never formed the question to begin with.
Darcy was quiet for a moment before he said in a voice so low Elizabeth barely heard him, “It appears Bingley is having a grand time with your sister. They have grown quite close, have they not?”
“They have. She is very happy.”
“I do not think it is a good match. I do not think they will be happy together.”
Elizabeth frowned and stopped walking. He didn’t stop for a few more steps, but when he did he turned around to look at her. “Why would you say such a thing? What is wrong with their relationship that you would deem it unsuitable?”
“B
ingley is not the man for Jane. You… your family will not…” Darcy stopped. He was staring at her in a way that made her uncomfortable. “You would not understand.”
“I find it hard to understand how you can say such things, when you have yourself offered to court me in order for me to be released from the trappings of an arrangement between my parents and Mr. Collins.” Elizabeth’s confusion was making it hard for her to hold her temper. She wanted to slap the man in front of her, but she was also grateful for what he was doing for her. Presenting himself as a more suitable match than Mr. Collins proved easily done. But it wouldn’t stop his original thoughts, nor would he change overnight into a gentleman who didn’t hold those views. Elizabeth wasn’t expecting him to.
“I say it because I know the Bingleys. It does not appear to be a match that is made in heaven. Not in my opinion.”
“What do you have against my sister?” Elizabeth began to walk again, slowly, and with a few feet in between her and Mr. Darcy. He walked along with her. They spoke in low tones, as neither wanted the other couple to hear what they were saying.
“I have nothing against Jane,” Darcy answered her. “She is a lovely girl. However, I do not see this as a relationship that will end well.”
“Why must it end at all? It could very well be a match made in heaven, as you say. How are you to know that it wouldn’t be?”
Darcy shook his head. “It is not to be. I am sure of it.”
Elizabeth frowned. “Have you spoken to Mr. Bingley about it?”
Darcy hesitated before nodding his head. “I have.”
“And I do suppose you have not had any encouraging words to say?”
“I know the Bingley family. Jane will not fit in with their dynamic. They will not accept her.”
“In other words, you are talking about the Bingley family and not your personal views of Jane?”
“Yes, you can say that.”
“But if that were the case, sir, why did you insult my family the first day we met?”
A Convenient Darcy Marriage Page 5
