Dr. Nokes gives me a couple of minutes to strip down and get ready. The examination table has white paper laid over it, and it crunches as I sit down. I lay the sheet she left for me over my lap and stare at the ceiling, waiting. A soft knock on the door sounds, and the doctor comes back in.
“Ready?”
“As ready as ever.” I force a smile, but my nerves are cranking tighter.
Dr. Nokes swings the stirrups over and directs me to scoot down to the edge of the table. I’ve done this dozens of times for Pap smears, and I shouldn’t be nervous—but when Dr. Nokes inserts the speculum, fear clenches in my stomach.
The doctor makes a soft noise, and my heart starts to thump. She pokes her eyes up above my knees and tilts her head.
“Dahlia, is there any chance that you’re pregnant?”
24
Damon
Medical residency is tough. Add on top of that an inquest into my mother’s death, the disgrace of my father, a new monarch for the Kingdom of Farcliff, and a new girlfriend for me. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.
Maybe that’s why I don’t notice a change in Dahlia right away.
After two weeks together full of studying, sex, and very little sleep, I’m put on the night shift. I come back to her place—it’s starting to feel more like our place—and slump down on her sofa.
“I’m on a two-week night rotation at the hospital starting tomorrow,” I tell her. “After that, I’m back to days.”
“Night shift,” she says, sticking out her tongue. “That sucks.”
“We might not get to see very much of each other.”
“I feel like I’m on night shift already.” Dahlia laughs. “Haven’t had a full night’s sleep since you started staying here.”
Her face looks lined, and she glances away from me. Am I imagining things, or has something shifted between us?
Maybe she doesn’t want me to move in as quickly as I have. Maybe she wants some space. My chest tightens at the thought—irrationally, I know. Everyone needs space. The last thing I want to do is crowd her.
We’ve been spending every spare moment together, and I haven’t felt this good in years. Even a subtle shift in her demeanor is troubling to me. I open my mouth to ask her about it, but I don’t get the chance.
Dahlia takes a deep breath and stands up, brushing lint off her shirt and heading toward the kitchen. “You okay with leftovers tonight?”
“Yeah,” I answer, following her. “That’s fine.”
She opens the fridge without looking at me. There’s tightness in her shoulders, and I watch her avoid my gaze.
“Dahlia, is everything okay?”
She pauses what she’s doing and turns toward me. With a deep breath, she lifts her eyes up to me and opens her mouth.
Nothing comes out.
I wait for her to speak, and she finally sighs. “Yeah,” she says. “Everything’s fine.”
Dahlia walks up to me and wraps her arms around my waist. She buries her face in my chest and lets out a long breath. I squeeze my arms around her.
“Are you sure?”
She nods, saying a muffled ‘yes’ into my chest. When she pulls away again, the tightness is gone from her face and she nods toward the food.
“Let’s eat. I’m starving.”
I eat, and Dahlia pushes food around her plate. I frown, but I can tell she doesn’t want to talk to me about whatever is bothering her, so I don’t push it.
We’ve only really been together for a couple of weeks. I don’t know all her moods yet, or how to react when something is bothering her.
So, I do what I like people to do for me. I give her some space.
We don’t say much to each other that evening, and we go to bed early. She gives me a kiss before heading to her classes, and I hang around the house until it’s time for my shift in the evening.
I’m gone before she comes back, and then I’m too busy at the hospital to think about what’s happening between us. Emergency medicine takes a lot more mental and physical energy than I ever would have imagined. I’m running around all night, trying my best to do whatever my attending physician needs of me.
When the sun comes up, I’m doing mountains of paperwork.
By the time I get home, Dahlia is already gone off to her classes. I collapse into bed and fall asleep.
I don’t see Dahlia for three days, because we’re always missing each other.
On the fourth day, I come home a bit earlier and catch Dahlia getting ready for her day. I wrap my arms around her and inhale the scent of her hair.
“I’ve missed you,” I groan.
“Me too,” she says, kissing me gently. She nods to her phone. “Elle just called. She gave birth to baby Charlie.”
My eyes widen. “Already?”
“Right on time,” Dahlia smiles. “Today was her due date. I’m skipping my morning classes to go see her.”
“Can you hold off for half an hour? I’ll come, too. Just have to shower and call Charlie.”
Dahlia nods. She has the same tightness around her eyes as she did early in the week, and her face is still shuttered. But she kisses me gently and wraps her arms around me, and my fears start to melt away. Maybe we’re both just tired.
The darkness in my heart loves to needle at my insecurities, though, and I wonder if there’s more to it than just fatigue. Maybe she’s second-guessing this relationship? Maybe she’s not happy with me after all?
I shake the thoughts away. I know what self-sabotage feels like.
We’re probably both just exhausted.
Elle gives birth at the Farcliff Royal Hospital. It’s closer to the castle than Farcliff General, and is where all the monarchs have given birth in the past. Dahlia and I make our way to her room and are ushered in by a glowing midwife. “Congratulations, sir,” she says. “You’re an uncle.”
Dahlia goes to Elle, and Charlie stands up from a chair. I shake his hand, smiling. “Congrats, Your Majesty.”
“Thanks, Damon,” he smiles. His baby is cooing in its bassinet by the bed, and Charlie strokes the baby’s cheek. “Elle was fantastic.”
“You? Not so much,” our new Queen smiles. “Charlie passed out.”
“That is officially a state secret,” Charlie laughs. “That does not leave this room.”
“You didn’t!” Dahlia exclaims, laughing.
“There was more blood than I was expecting,” Charlie says.
Dahlia goes to the new baby and lets out a soft sigh. Her hand drifts to her own stomach, and her eyes soften. Feeling my gaze, she lifts her eyes up to mine.
For the first time all week, a genuine smile stretches across her lips.
“You want to hold him?” Elle asks.
Dahlia sucks a breath in. “Can I? I’m scared.”
“Don’t be,” Elle grins. “He’s only the heir to the throne.”
Dahlia giggles and reaches for the baby.
“Support his neck,” Elle instructs. She’s smiling, staring at her new son like only a mother can.
Dahlia has a similar look on her face. She looks so happy, holding that baby, and it makes my heart skip a beat. For a fraction of a second, it looks like Dahlia is holding her own child.
It makes my mind rush in a million different directions. Is that what I want?
A lump forms in my throat as I watch Dahlia with the baby. There’s so much joy in this room, and Dahlia looks so natural as she holds the newborn. She rocks him and lays a kiss on the baby’s forehead.
Glancing at me again, she gives me a shy smile.
I gulp.
A part of me wants that—a part of me would put a baby in Dahlia’s womb right now. I’d be a father to our child. I’d love her until the ends of the earth.
But another, bigger part of me hesitates. I’m not ready to be a father. I barely even know Dahlia! Plus, there’s so much damage inside me that I don’t even know that I could be a parent.
I’m not fit to be a father. I’ve always kn
own it. There’s too much badness inside me, too much scar tissue. I couldn’t. I can’t. I won’t.
My heart starts to thump, and suddenly I need some air.
I duck out of the room and lean against the wall, taking long, slow breaths until my heartbeat quiets down. After a few minutes, Dahlia appears in front of me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “My mind just started going crazy there. I started thinking about having kids and…” I shake my head.
“And…?”
“And, well, I’m glad we’re not having any right now.” I laugh, shaking my head.
Dahlia’s face falls. “You don’t want kids?”
“No! I do! It’s just… I don’t know.” I put my hand to her waist and Dahlia pulls away ever so slightly. She looks devastated.
I clear my throat. “Not right now. It’s not… How would we…”
“I get it,” she says, nodding quickly. “Yeah.” Dahlia glances up at me and then away again. “I’d better go back in there.”
She slips away from me without saying another word. I’ve done something wrong, but I don’t know what.
Just like that, in two or three minutes, I know that something has shifted between us. The happy, domestic life that we’ve been living for the past few weeks shimmers in my mind as if it were all a mirage.
25
Dahlia
He doesn’t want kids. The father of my child doesn’t want a baby.
I drift through the day, doing my best to act normal, even though everything inside me is crumbling.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve felt like I’m walking a tightrope. At any second, I’m going to fall down, down, down. Hearing Damon say he doesn’t want kids made me wobble, and I try my best to keep it together.
I’m pregnant. Even thinking the words makes my heart thump harder. It had to be the day in the study, at the royal wedding. I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out how this happened. We’ve been safe every time except for that day.
I can’t believe this is happening. When Elle got pregnant, I thought she was the most irresponsible person in Farcliff. I never thought it would happen to me.
How could I be so stupid?
Damon and I make our way back to the house in silence, and all the while I’m pretending that I’m not coming apart at the seams.
The Prince says a few words to me, and goes into the bedroom to sleep before his next shift. I mumble a response and watch him walk away, and my heart turns black in my chest.
I lounge on the couch and run my hand over my stomach.
I’m pregnant. Squeezing my eyes shut, I let out a sigh and slump down.
I thought everything was going well. I thought my life was starting to look up, and that Damon and I had a chance at happiness. I even thought that my family would be able to come back to Farcliff.
I thought I’d live happily ever after.
Ha!
Panic starts to well up inside me. My mind races a million miles an hour, thinking of every possibility in my future.
Getting rid of the baby—adoption or otherwise—is out of the question. Even a few weeks in, I know this baby is mine to keep. In a flash, I understand how Elle felt just a few months ago.
The Prince doesn’t want kids. My parents would have a fit if they knew I was having a Prince of Farcliff’s baby.
So, what choice am I left with? Lie to my parents? Lie to Damon, and do this on my own? Tell them, and risk the fallout? Disappear back to the Rocky Mountains and pretend this never happened?
My heart squeezes, and I do my best to take a full breath.
I jump when knock comes on my door. Sitting on the couch, I stare down the hall without moving. I’m not answering the door. I don’t care if it’s the King of Farcliff himself, I’m not talking to anyone.
No way.
They knock again, a bit louder this time. I sigh as I heave myself off the couch, trudging down the hallway. Whoever it is, I’ll just tell them to leave.
But then, I open the door to see my mother and father standing on my creaky old stoop. My heart sinks. I’d forgotten they were invited to the Farcliff Castle, and now with baby Charlie being born, it’s the perfect opportunity for this reconciliation to begin.
Wonderful.
I can’t wait for us to be one big, happy fucking family again.
I say a silent prayer of thanks that Damon is sleeping, but my palms still start to sweat. I know that my parents are nervous about coming back to Farcliff—how would they react if they knew Damon and I were seeing each other?
How would they react if they knew he was sleeping in my bed?
How would they react if they knew I was carrying his child?
“Darling, is this where you live? You could have asked us for money,” my mother says, her eyebrows drawing together. She looks at the front porch, rotting and falling apart in places and then sweeps her eyes over the front yard. I feel like crying.
I’ve never been embarrassed of my home, but there are too many emotions swirling inside me.
“Nice to see you too, Mom.” I lean over to kiss her cheek. My father wraps me in a tight embrace before pulling back with his hands on my shoulders. He studies my face, frowning.
“Your mother is right, Dahlia. You can’t live in a place like this.”
“Like what?” My spine stiffens. How dare they come here and criticize my house like this? They shipped me off to the mountains to be homeschooled by my aunts, but now, all of a sudden, I’m too good for Grimdale? Now, all of a sudden, I’m a Raventhal again?
Anger spikes through me and it takes me a moment to catch my breath. I don’t know why I’m feeling defensive about this house, but it’s been my home for over two years. With Elle gone up to the castle, and my love life taking a sharp turn toward disaster, this house is the last familiar thing that I have.
“Maybe we should get a hotel, Harry.” My mother glances around the neighborhood, and frustration bubbles up inside me. They didn’t mind me living in a shack in the woods until I was sixteen, but apparently when I’m in Farcliff, I’m supposed to live in the lap of luxury.
“You guys want to come in?” I ask, pulling the door open wider. Defiance makes me jut my chin out. Let them find out about me and Damon. Maybe I’ll tell them all about the baby! They probably wouldn’t care about a few rotten planks of wood on my front stoop if they knew about that!
My father glances at me, and then he looks at my mother. “We tried, remember? Everywhere is booked up. People have come from all around for the birth of the Prince. The King invited us to stay at the palace, Tabitha,” my father continues. “We should accept the invitation. They’re expecting us today.”
My mother wrings her hands in front of her, biting her lip.
I take a deep breath to compose myself. My emotions are cranked up to a hundred right now, and I need to remember who I’m talking to. My parents have been away from Farcliff for years. Of course they’re worried about me, and about themselves.
“Tell you what,” I say. “I’ll come up to the castle with you. All three of us can stay there. Elle said she’d appreciate some help with the baby, and it’s closer to campus.”
Not to mention, that means they won’t be staying at my place—and they won’t know about Damon just yet. They’ll get to stay in nicer accommodation, and I’ll have time to figure out how to break it to them that I’m falling in love with one of the Princes…
… Oh, and that I’m pregnant.
Holy Farcliff, how will I tell Damon? My stomach clenches, and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I can’t keep up with this roller coaster. Is this what they mean when they talk about pregnancy hormones? Am I going to spend the next eight months struggling to keep up with my own emotions?
“I don’t know,” my mother says, shifting her weight from foot to foot.
I force a smile. “It’s fine. I’ve met the royal family, and my best friend Elle is the Queen now. It’s safe over
there.”
“My best friend was the Queen, too,” Mom snaps. My father squeezes her hand and they exchange a loaded look. They’ve probably talked about this a million times.
My mother straightens her shoulders. “Okay. Fine.”
“I have class in an hour, but I’ll meet you there tonight, okay?”
My mother lets out a sigh and nods. “Okay. It’s good to see you, Dahlia.” She wraps me in another hug. She holds me tight, and it takes all my self-control to not break down in her arms.
What if I did tell them? What if I blurted it out—blurted everything out about Damon, and the baby, and how I feel about it all?
Maybe they would help me.
But my mother pulls away and takes a deep breath. She forces a smile and nods to me. “See you tonight.”
I watch them walk away, and my lips stay sealed.
Damon wakes up around four o’clock looking tired as hell. I’m waiting for him in the kitchen when he stumbles out.
“I made you lunch for your shift.”
“Thanks, babe,” Damon says, kissing my forehead. “That’s nice of you.”
“Also… I’m moving up to the castle.” And I’m pregnant, and you’re the father. “My parents want me to go up with them. Moral support, I guess.”
Damon frowns. He’s still groggy, and I can tell he doesn’t understand what’s going on. “Okay—but I thought you hated the castle.”
“I don’t hate it. It’s just… My parents are in town. They’ll only go up there if I’m with them.”
Damon rakes his fingers through his hair and takes a deep breath. “All right. Did you tell them about me?”
I bite my lip. “Not exactly.”
“Not exactly as in ‘no’?”
I snort. “Yeah.”
“Are you embarrassed of me?”
“No! Not at all. It’s just that it’s hard enough for my parents to come here in the first place. For me to be dating a Farcliff Prince? That might be a little much for them to take in.”
I resist the urge to put my hand to my stomach. Every second sentence, I think of telling him about the baby, but the words just won’t come out.
Royally Unexpected: An Accidental Pregnancy Collection Page 32
