He tried to tell himself that the children sleeping upstairs peacefully for their afternoon nap were all that mattered. But that wasn’t a lie he could even sell himself.
Whenever he thought about her, his anger spiked. What sort of establishment sent people home with the wrong child? Sometimes he just wanted to sic his team of lawyers on them and make them bleed. But what would that solve?
Plus, he knew that that wasn’t a decision he could make lightly or even independently. Whatever he did would affect more lives than his. Also, any sort of litigation would be a matter of public record and would get unnecessary press attention. He knew he couldn’t make such a decision in anger, and without Tristan, he reminded himself.
His eyes wandered towards the huge envelope lying on his desk. It contained all he needed to know about Tristan Callahan. And had been there since yesterday. But he couldn’t bring himself to invade the man’s privacy anymore. Especially after meeting him.
A small sound from the baby monitor had him jumping up instinctively. Something must have woken Wyatt up, he thought. But not for long. He was quiet again before he could even get up and check on him.
He sighed. God, he loved his kids, and he had to figure out a way to keep his family together. He wondered briefly if he needed counseling but dispensed with that idea as quickly as it came. It wasn’t like he couldn’t decipher what he was feeling. He didn’t need anyone to explain those feelings of uncertainty and fear of losing what mattered most to him.
He got out of his chair and walked out of his office towards his children’s rooms. He needed some baby and papa time.
He looked in on Wyatt first in his crib. With his wisps of blond hair, he was absolutely perfect. He put his hands on his son's stomach, just feeling him breathe, then turned and walked out towards Emma’s room.
As he walked in, Emma’s green eyes opened, and she gave him a wide grin. Nathaniel picked her up adoringly. He loved this time when she just woke up. She felt cuddly and warm in her soft pajamas.
Everything would be sorted out, he thought, holding his girl. Everything would be sorted out. He would make sure of it.
11
Tristan
As Tristan approached a bank of windows, one slid open to reveal an elegant woman with smooth, ebony skin.
“Hi,” he said. “Tristan Callahan here to see Dr. Prescott.”
“The doctor will be with you shortly. Can you fill in the paperwork while you wait? Her last appointment is running long,” she said, passing Tristan a clipboard with a bunch of documents. “We’ll have you hooked up with Dr. Prescott as quickly as possible.”
Dr. Prescott opened the door before Tristan could even settle into filling the forms out. She apologized for the slight delay while seeing her guest out.
She then turned to Tristan and said, “I’m due in surgery in an hour. We’ll fill in your chart as we go. Today is going to be mostly me explaining what’s required in donating a liver, should your tests be positive.
“I’ll talk a little about the tests themselves and answer your questions. Have you visited Emma yet?
“No,” Tristan replied. “We, Nathaniel, I mean Mr. Alexander and I, set it up for the day after tomorrow. Saturday.”
“I’ve been thinking about what to say about who I am,” he rambled. “Not that it’s any of your concern,” he said to her apologetically.
Sympathy and understanding entered the doctor’s eyes. She said, “It says a lot about you that you’re here. This situation cannot be easy to deal with, for any of you.”
Tristan looked over at Teo, who had accompanied him by force, and said, “It’s not, but I have the best people supporting me.”
Tristan left the doctor and crossed the reception area to get Teo.
“Please, you two, come to my office.”
The receptionist gave the doctor a message. Then she showed Teo and him into the doctor’s office.
Eva, she said her name was. She directed them to beautiful and comfy chairs that flanked a large glass desk. She left, returning a moment later with a cold glass of water for Teo. Nothing for him since he had to fast for the test.
Teo looked around the room, “Utilitarian and feminine.” He turned around, thoroughly eyeing the framed certificates on the wall. “Impressive degrees too.”
“Including a fellowship in Pediatric Hepatology from Stanford Children’s Hospital. Nice,” he murmured.
“Sorry, fellows, I had a call from a resident concerning meds for a patient. My apologies for the delay,” Dr. Prescott said as she took her seat.
As she launched into a description of liver transplants, the implications of the information Nathaniel had shared with him truly sank in.
There was a child out there somewhere, a child who was Shannon’s. This child he had never met. It renewed his anger at the situation, at the hospital. He couldn’t help but feel he should have been there for her from the beginning. He would have been if he had been given the chance.
Almost forty-five minutes later, the doctor’s detailed explanation ended. She handed him and Teo folders containing more diagrams and brochures.
“You both have that totally overwhelmed look,” she noted.
“Basically, everything I’ve discussed is covered in these folders. You’ll want to study the information and discuss the impact such a surgery will have on your life. Tristan, I’m sure you’ll have a lot of questions. That’s what I’m here for. Me or my staff will answer them as frankly as possible.”
“Thanks,” Tristan said. “Maybe after I visit Shan… I mean Emma, all of this will make perfect sense.
“You said she’s getting treatment? How long can she survive on that?” Tristan asked.
“Normally a patient can exist until we find a donor from the national donor registry,” Dr. Prescott informed them.
“That’s good. I was just wondering if she was okay till all the tests were completed,” he assured her.
“I really hope I’m a match,” he whispered to Teo.
He held my hand and squeezed, knowing how much it would mean to me to be able to donate, without having to exchange any more words.
He looked at where their hands were joined and squeezed back.
He heard Dr. Prescott say, “She’s nowhere near end-stage liver failure, and even though we were able to treat the virus, her liver cells are dying, so she will need the transplant. But it’s not dire yet or even anytime soon. We are managing it currently.”
“Can we go ahead and do the preliminary testing?” he asked.
“Of course,” she replied. “Follow me.”
Tristan hoped he was a good donor for Emma, and to be honest, there was no reason why he shouldn’t be. He ate well, exercised consistently, didn’t smoke or do drugs, and was only really a drinker socially and sometimes not even then.
“The tests are straightforward,” Dr. Prescott said, jarring him out of his thoughts. “Did you fast?” she asked.
He nodded in the affirmative.
“Well, I’ll hand you over to our residents. If the tests are all satisfactory, I’ll schedule the surgery as soon as possible.
“It was lovely meeting you, Mr. Callahan.”
“Thank you, Dr. Prescott,” he replied.
“Oh,” he said as she walked away, “I give permission for Mr. Alexander to be given copies and informed about all test results.”
She nodded and kept on walking.
“I’m Levi,” a handsome redhead introduced himself. “I’m your resident, and I’ll be conducting the tests today. Buckle down. We’re gonna be here a while.”
“There are blood tests, tissue typing, and cross-matching, antibody screening, chest X-ray, lung function, blood oxygen test, electrocardiogram (ECG) to see how your heart is working. Echocardiogram and stress echo, also heart-related. Coronary angiography, kidney function tests, ultrasound scan, CT scan, MRI. Then the not so fun ones, a liver biopsy and Endoscopy. Oh! And at some point, you’re gonna have to pee in a cup.”
“Are you guys going to check if I’m pregnant too?” he joked.
Levi chuckled and replied, “And before you ask, yes, they are all necessary. It’s important that we see that you are fit enough to have the operation. It is also important for us to be sure that you are fully aware of the commitment that you need to make to your own healthcare after the operation.”
He tapped on his head and said, “You also gotta see the head shrinker.”
He sighed audibly, and Teo looked up from his phone tapping and said, “Guess the jig is up, Tris. Everyone’s gonna know you’re batshit crazy. Absolutely off your rocker. The secret’s out. It won’t be just us in the loop anymore.”
He knew what Teo was doing. He was trying to cheer him up, or at least take away from the seriousness of the situation. So he played along, giving him the middle finger. Then he turned to the doctor and said, “Well let’s get this show on the road.”
12
Tristan
Tristan took in the stunning ocean views and wide open spaces of Palos Verdes while driving to Nathaniel’s house. He had looked at houses in this area after deciding to sell Shannon’s place but had ended up in Hidden Hills at his current place.
He’d texted Nathaniel last night to confirm and again this morning to say he was on his way. He knew it was a bitch move, but he wasn’t ready to talk to him quite yet.
Thankfully Sammy was still sound asleep in her car seat, as he checked on her through his mirrors. He wasn’t ready to answer the multitude of questions she would have asked about where they were going and what they were doing.
All he had said was he had a new friend, who had a daughter the same age as her. A huge part of him wasn’t ready. But he tried not to focus too much on that, because the truth was he would never be ready.
He wondered what he would feel when he saw Emma for the first time. Also, would Samantha notice how she looked like Nathaniel? Did four-year-olds even notice stuff like that?
The one thought his mind shied away from was, what next? What happened after today? How did they move on, going forward?
Tristan followed the directions from his navigation system and right before he was about to pull into Nathaniel’s street, Sammy woke up and asked, “Are we there yet?’
“Almost, sweetie,” he replied. She huffed and sat back in her car seat.
The neighborhood was similar to his. Now all he had to do was find Nathaniel’s house.
He finally found it and drove towards the gate and pressed the button to be let in. The gate opened to a long, paved driveway that led to the large luxurious shingle-style house, which, if he was honest, surprised him. He guessed he had pictured Nathaniel in some modern glass-and-metal monstrosity. Not somewhere that apart from the size screamed white picket fence and 2.5 kids. He had the corner lot and a lot of space. Probably an acre.
Tristan admired the house. It was definitely somewhere he could see himself living. If he had a husband and family, he mentally tacked on.
“Well,” he said, trying to sound enthusiastic and ignoring the dread bubbling in his belly. “We’re here.”
“Where’s my new friend?” Sammy asked, looking around.
He laughed for the first time today. “Well, she doesn’t know we’re here yet.”
Samantha strained forward. She knew better than to unbuckle her own car seat, but she was telegraphing her impatience clearly.
He turned off his car and went around unbuckling Samantha, aware of the house behind him.
Was he looking out at them? Tristan was unsettled to realize that butterflies weren’t there because of Emma, but rather because of her father.
He hadn’t even gotten Samantha out of the car when he heard the front door open. And there was Nathaniel Alexander, with no shoes and a baby in his arms. He could also see little hands holding on to his legs, but hiding behind.
Today the man wore relaxed black jeans and a white V-neck tee, and did he mention barefoot. Dammit. The man was handsome. Fuck, he was actually beautiful if he was being honest. Plus, he had lost that unapproachable look around his children.
Sammy was bouncing with eagerness, but she waited for him to get their stuff together.
“Come on, Daddy,” she moaned, “quicker!”
Tristan wasn’t sure why he was going slower than he usually would. Well, that was a lie. He knew why he was practically in slow motion. He was trying to delay the inevitable. But he could feel Nathaniel’s eyes on him, so he decided he may as well get it over with.
A part of him hoped that he would look at Emma, and she would just be another little girl. And he would be able to do his duty, give her a part of his liver and let sleeping dogs lie.
He kneeled down and looked at his daughter and smoothed out her top. He looked into her eyes, stalling for time, but then Samantha asked, “Daddy, will she like me?”
He picked her up, looked her squarely in the face and said, “You’re perfect. Of course she’ll like you.”
He breathed in deeply and mentally tied his boot laces, even though he wasn’t wearing boots. And walked towards the front door. Towards him. Towards Nathaniel.
He finally looked up, locking eyes with Nathaniel for a second. With Samantha in his arms, it was even more apparent how much they resembled each other.
He finally got to the front door and said to his daughter, “This is my friend Nathaniel. Nathaniel, my daughter Samantha.”
“I… I’m happy to meet you, Samantha,” Nathaniel replied, voice choked with emotion.
Fuck! They look so much alike. Tristan couldn’t help but think.
He really hoped Samantha was too young to notice.
But luck wasn’t on his side because the next thing he knew, she said, “You have pretty eyes, just like me.”
“My daddy said I have the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen,” she told Nathaniel shyly.
She went on to say, “Daddy said I get a new friend. Where’s my new friend, Daddy?”
A little girl’s face peeked out from behind Nathaniel and giggled.
Samantha started squirming to be set down. Tristan put her down without looking away from the other little girl.
Tristan felt his stomach drop. He felt his body clamp tight. His mind screamed SHANNON! She looked part imp, part angel, with an unruly mop of dark curls.
Tristan felt like he would fall in a heap. Right there in Nathaniel’s doorway.
Then he heard her voice. Sounding bossy and assertive, even for a four-year-old, as she invited Sammy to come in and see her toys.
He watched as she pulled his daughter with her. He heard her tell Sammy that her daddy said they could have a tea party. Then maybe go swimming, but she wasn’t allowed by the pool alone. She didn’t even let his daughter get a word in edgewise, he thought. So like his sister, his mind screamed.
Shannon, he thought, nearly doubling over in anguish.
Just like Shannon’s, Emma’s face narrowed from sculpted cheekbones to a pointy chin, and like him and Shannon, those eyes. Those eyes that always sparkled with mischief.
He looked at Nathaniel and could see the misery that he imagined in his own eyes mirrored.
“She’s the image of my sister at that age,” he whispered to Nathaniel. He felt the tears coming and angrily wiped at them.
“Fuck! How could this have happened? How the fuck could this have happened?” he asked Nathaniel, not really expecting an answer.
He was overwhelmed by the sudden sense of loss, and not just of Shannon but everything he had missed out on with Emma.
His gaze collided with Nathaniel’s. The force of the impact shook him, and he knew they both could tell that whatever happened, from right now, their lives would never be the same.
13
Nathaniel
Nathaniel wasn’t sure how he would feel about meeting Samantha but seeing her, meeting her, that hurt. More than he could have imagined. He felt the wetness trailing down his cheeks and realized he was fucking crying. But that first glimps
e had brought reality crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. The kid was just amazing, beautiful, just simply magnificent. And nothing he could have imagined even in his wildest dreams.
All he thought about before seeing her was blood didn’t make a family, and he thought he could just acknowledge her existence and then go back to normal. He would just see to it that she was well taken care of. And then ask her bio dad or mom for a part of their liver for Emma.
But his heart wasn’t cooperating. It seemed it had dismissed that memo and was doing whatever it wanted. The thought of just chalking it up to having a biological daughter out there in the world, knowing she’s well taken care of wasn’t anywhere near enough anymore. That had been the plan. He realized it had always been a naive and fanciful plan.
She was like staring at his own reflection. At least, that’s what it looked like to him. The eyes were the same shade of blue he saw in the mirror every time he shaved. The only difference was, where his hair was almost straight, she had wild curls that looked like it took a while and a lot of will to tame. The small grin with even, white teeth, the straight, pointed nose, even the attitude that was all him. It was like looking at a female version of himself twenty-eight years ago.
He couldn’t wipe his eyes with Wyatt in his arms. So he headed towards the kitchen and put him in his playpen, figuring Tristan would follow. All he could think about was everything he’d missed.
He knew his bond with Emma could never change, but he also knew, deep down, Samantha was his too. She had gazed at him from eyes exactly like the ones that stared back at him each morning, and his world immediately shifted on its axis.
He knew with all certainty he had to get to know this amazing little girl. And he would. He just had to figure out a way to build a relationship with Samantha without giving up any of the bonds he had with Emma. And never letting either one feel like the other came first.
A Family For Keeps Page 7
