The sound of soft music permeated the lower floor as Caroline finished walking down the stairs. She stopped at the foyer, glancing around at all the candlelight and fresh flowers in elegant porcelain vases. Under other circumstances, Caroline would have liked to see all the decorations and the house looking so lovely for a dinner party. But now that she understood the reason behind the flowers and the extra candles, it was only a sign of the dreadful thing she was about to do.
She would deny Lord Canton, and more than likely be talked about by all society. No one in their right minds would refuse such an offer. But no amount of wealth or security would compel her to accept his proposal when her heart belonged to another.
Caroline willed herself to move, to make it to the drawing room and participate in conversation with all those that had been invited. But as she walked, she went slowly, her eyes still seeking out William’s. She passed servant after servant who stood ready and at attention, and though she should have guessed it, she hadn’t.
Right before the drawing room door was William, given the task of escorting the guests into the room. She looked at him for a moment, silently crying out to him while she forced her face to appear emotionless. Their eyes locked and when she nodded, he turned and opened the door for her. It killed Caroline inside to walk past him without a second glance when all she wanted was to take his hand and lead him away to an empty room to hide away from the world together.
“Ah, there she is,” came her mother’s voice. The musician at the piano stopped his performance as everyone in the room turned their eyes on her.
Still, she remained emotionless as she folded her hands in front of her, stopping to take in everyone in the room. She saw her parents seated by the large marble fireplace and an extra-large looking glass hanging above it to give the room the appearance that it was much larger than it really was.
Lord Canton sat next to her father and stood as she entered, coming to greet her right away. “Good evening, Miss Caroline,” he said as he bowed and she curtsied.
As he extended his hand towards her, she allowed him to take hers and kiss the air above her knuckles. All the while, she simply looked on, neither smiling nor frowning. She didn’t want to give anyone the impression that she enjoyed his attention or was eager for this evening. Yet, she didn’t want to appear melancholy, either.
“Would you care to sit with me and your parents?” he asked when she didn’t respond immediately.
“Certainly,” she replied simply. When he offered his arm to her, she knew she couldn’t refuse, or she’d be seen as forwardly ousting him. So, she settled her hand lightly on his arm and crossed the room to where her parents were sitting on either side of the fireplace. Whispers filled the air as they walked together, all the other couples and families smiling and looking their way to no doubt commenting on how well they looked together. Caroline sat upon the settee as the musician started to play the piano once more, and to Caroline’s distaste, Lord Canton sat upon the settee with her.
“Good evening, my dear,” her mother said, allowing Caroline to focus her attention on someone else besides the man next to her.
“Good evening, Mother. You’ve done such a marvellous job at having the house decorated for this evening. The fragrance alone from the wildflowers is divine.”
Lady Goldman chuckled and shooed Caroline playfully with her hand. “Tis nothing, my dear. It’s always nice to be able to smell fresh flowers during dinner. It’s such a pleasing experience,” she replied.
“Tell me, who all is in attendance this evening?” Caroline encouraged, wanting to keep her mother talking for as long as she could. And since her mother was a socialite, it wasn’t a hard task.
“Well, let me see. Lord and Lady Munster and their two daughters. Lord and Lady Potters and their son. Lord and Lady Onyx and their daughter,” Lady Goldman said turning in her chair to view the entire room. “Plenty of amiable families from our neighbourhood.”
“How splendid. Do you wish to visit them with me?” Caroline offered, wanting to stand and take a turn of the room. She’d much rather speak with other families then be forced to speak to Lord Canton only. But as she watched her mother’s gaze shift from her to Lord Canton, Caroline was afraid she would refuse the request.
“I believe that is a splendid idea,” Lord Goldman said with a bright smile. Caroline rose with her mother and together they visited with the other families, giving Caroline the opportunity to speak with the other lords and ladies, and visit with the other women closer in her age. As she sat next to the son of Lord and Lady Potters, Caroline was almost tempted to flirt openly with the man in hopes of displeasing Lord Canton. But since she knew that everyone in the room had the knowledge that Lord Canton was going to propose to her tonight, she reasoned that it would look rather ostentatious if she did so. The last thing she wanted people to gossip about her tonight was that she was a loose woman.
Despite all the ways she was trying not to be close to Lord Canton, she knew her time had run up when dinner was announced. Caroline was forced to stop her conversation with one of the daughters of Lord and Lady Munster and follow her mother back to her father’s side. There, Lord Canton extended his arm towards Caroline and she knew she couldn’t refuse him once more.
Without looking into his eyes and donning her mask of emotionlessness, she followed after her parents towards the dining room, wishing there was some way to avoid what was likely about to happen.
Chapter 6
William tried his best to rid his hands of the shaking that didn’t seem to want to stop. Once he’d returned to the manor from his and Caroline’s secret meeting place, he discovered that all the servants were eagerly talking about this evening.
Cook was whipping up a fancy white cake with chocolate filling; the footmen were all making sure one another was finely dressed and didn’t have any smudges on their clothes. And as soon as William had taken the time to change into his uniform, he finally overheard what the commotion was all about.
“Do you think that Miss Caroline will say yes?” one of the maids whispered excitedly as he passed through the main room for the servants. William stopped dead in his tracks, moving aside to let someone else pass while he listened in on the women’s conversation.
“I don’t think she has a choice in the matter. Ladies of that status must accept a proposal from someone of equal status. She would be certainly mad to deny such a man as Lord Canton.”
“I just have a feeling that Miss Caroline doesn’t really like the man. After all, they haven’t really courted nor spent much time together.”
“Again, my dear. You must remember that people of status do things differently. It’s more about business than it ever will be about love.”
William went on his way then, knowing he needed to help accommodate the requests of Lady Goldman. With flowers to arrange and display, there wasn’t much time for him to ponder what he’d just overheard. His heart pounded in his chest, even though his fingers worked slowly to help arrange the flowers. He couldn’t bear the idea of Caroline marrying another, though he had no plan of his own to secure her hand.
“William. Start working on the candles. The madam wants all the footmen present and to bearing the iron candle holders,” Mr Westley said, tugging on William’s coat sleeve to help him focus on the next task. He always appreciated the older man looking out for him, especially when he knew how ill William’s father was.
After a while, William became focused on his work as he pushed from his mind the impending feeling of doom in his chest when he discovered that Lord Canton planned to propose during the course of the dinner. Hence, Cook had prepared a fine feast and reserved dessert for after the proposal.
Normally, William would have been excited at the idea of perhaps enjoying a slice of cake after the dinner party, but tonight he was filled with nervous feelings all throughout his body. He knew that Caroline loved him but wasn’t sure what her response to Lord Canton would be. William knew that she should accept,
that he was actually capable of caring for her properly. Yet he wasn’t sure if he could accept such a broken heart if she did so.
Before he knew it, William was being led away with the other footmen as the dinner portion of the night began. He’d been requested to help serve the meal as normal, but tonight he feared making a mistake. He was so nervous that he wondered how upset Lord and Lady Goldman would become if he gave his prized position up to another.
As the guests were settled in the dining room and the first course was prepared, William got in line with the other footmen and tried to remember his duty and responsibility to not only the Earl, but his father. He mustn’t make a mistake as he picked up the bowl of cold soup and made his way to the dining room.
As William stepped into the room with the others, his heart was pounding so hard that he could hear it in his ears. With each step, he felt like he was about to faint. By some miracle, he managed to serve the guest he’d been assigned to, and as he spent down towards the table to place the bowl in front of the gentleman, his eyes sought Caroline’s. And for a moment, they looked at one another even as he straightened his body. It was that one look that gave William the strength to keep moving.
“William, are you feeling well?” Marcus asked as he rushed up the hallway to reach William and gasp his elbow.
“Yes, why do you ask?” William replied as they all made their way back to the serving room.
“You look like you’re about to beat a man bloody. Your face is all red and you have this crazed look in your eyes,” Marcus said, causing William to stop in his progress to the serving room and really look at his friend.
“Do you think anyone else noticed?” William asked, now worried about his appearance. He knew that the reason he had this position was because of his good looks, and he didn’t want to lose it simply because he let his emotions get the better of him.
“I pray no one did. At least, no one has said anything to me. But you need to pull yourself together. I don’t know what’s going on or how your father has been faring lately, but don’t do anything foolish.” Marcus patted his shoulder and then rushed off to join the others.
William used the few minutes he had to take several deep breaths before heading where he needed to go. He wasn’t sure what he’d do when the proposal actually happened, but he realized he needed to keep his composure if he was going to keep his job. William reminded himself just how much his father was depending on him and, with that thought in mind, he focused on his work.
~*~
If I just tell my mother I’m not feeling well and that I’ll be returning to my bedchamber, then Lord Canton won’t have an opportunity to propose, Caroline thought as she ate her food. She’d remained rather quiet throughout the dinner, speaking once or twice to the young lady at her side. Lord Canton had been seated across from her, no doubt to have better command of the room. And though he often smiled at her, she was thankful that he didn’t try to engage her in conversation across the table.
Caroline was thinking of all sorts of different ways to avoid Lord Canton’s proposal and was about to lean over towards her mother to give her excuse when Lord Canton stood from the table. A wave of fear crashed down on Caroline as she watched him stand, the room becoming quiet as all eyes glanced between him and Caroline. She tried to breathe, to keep herself from stiffening up so much. And it was only when her mother patted her leg underneath the table that Caroline seemed to remember how to properly breathe.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take this moment to express my growing fondness for Miss Caroline these past many weeks. My dear, you are such a wonderful creature and would be so pleased if you’d except my hand in marriage,” Lord Canton said, extending his hand towards her across the table as though to offer himself to her.
The room grew so quiet that she was afraid everyone could hear her heart thumping hard against her chest.
Slowly, Caroline pushed back her chair and stood, her mother reclaiming her hand in her lap. She faced Lord Canton without a single expression on her face, wanting to make it perfectly clearly her intentions.
“Lord Canton, I am grateful for your offer and your words of endearment. Though you have a great fondness for me, I don’t feel the same for you. Our time together has been rather sparse and infrequent. Therefore, I don’t have an opinion of you as of yet. I cannot accept your offer at this time,” Caroline said, her voice void of either joy or anger.
The room filled with all sorts of whispers as she curtsied to Lord Canton. As she looked back up at him, he seemed shocked and surprised by her refusal of him, and she even watched as he exchanged a look with her father. Knowing she couldn’t bear to remain and try to eat any food while the dinner guests gossiped around her, she stepped away from the table and quickly made her way out of the room, only causing the guests to speak even louder.
Once the door was closed behind her, Caroline walked at a very fast pace towards the stairs. She even picked up the hem of her gown so she could move faster, afraid someone would try to come after her. But as she reached the base of the stairs without either of her parents trying to come to her and speak reason, she let out the air she was holding in her lungs as she quickly made her way up the stairs and towards her bedchamber.
Caroline finally felt like she could breathe once more as she stood inside her bedchamber, the door locked and secured. She was comfortable with the idea that no one could bother her at this time, even though she expected to be summoned at some point in the evening by her parents. They would demand to have an explanation, and unless she finally told them who she was in love with, she wasn’t certain if her parents would force her to marry or not.
Eventually, once Caroline’s nerves had settled, she took her time changing into a simple day gown. There was no need to be wearing one of her silk dinner gowns; she would eventually face her parents wearing something a little more comfortable. It was still too early for her nightgown, and depending if her parents would make her face Lord Canton once more, she wouldn’t want to appear so scandalous dressed in barely anything.
“Oh, William. If only there was some way for us to truly be together,” Caroline mumbled to herself as she changed. “If we married, I’d be able to love you openly and no one would be able to keep us apart.”
A knock on the door pulled Caroline from her musings. She was nervous as she finished dressing and slowly made it over to the door. Once she did turn the lock and open it, she found her mother standing on the other side, a sad smile on her face.
“How are you faring, my dear?” Lady Goldman asked.
“I am well enough,” Caroline admitted. “What about you and Father?”
“Well, he was a bit surprised. But once all the guests had gone, I explained that you were actually in love with another.” Caroline’s heart clenched in her chest, a deep fear passing through her body that seemed to grip her with a cold hand. She shivered, thinking this night couldn’t go well.
“I’m sure Father is waiting for an explanation,” Caroline reasoned.
“As am I, Caroline,” her mother was quick to add.
“Very well. I will come down,” Caroline said, raising her head. She and William knew that the day would one day come where she would be forced to confess her feelings. Her parents would need to understand why she’d refused such a good offer, despite the words in which she’d replied with. Perhaps, somehow, she could use the excuse that she simply didn’t know Lord Canton well enough? But with her mother already telling her father that her heart belonged to another, she knew that she had to speak of someone’s name. As she walked out of her bedchamber with her mother leading her back downstairs, Caroline knew that the only way to move forward was to finally be honest with her parents.
All manner of thoughts coursed through her mind as she followed her mother. She pictured her parents understanding and even allowing her to marry William. Then, the more realistic side of her mind showed her scenes of her father growing angry and doing all sorts of terrible th
ings.
A Lady's Passion Knows No Distance: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 5
