“We’re not together,” she whispered, the words little pokes of a dagger. Her insides were raw at this point, battered and bloody, and yet the hits just kept on coming.
“Don’t say that.” He closed his hand around hers but she wrenched away, trying to gather herself. Trying to make sense of any of this. She felt the heat of his body behind her, although he didn’t try to touch her again. “This can’t come between us. Not now.”
“I trusted you, Cole. I love you.”
As soon as she said the words, she knew they were a mistake. His features went blank, as if he were suddenly made of stone.
“You must have heard I was a bad bet,” he said with no inflection. “You should have listened.”
She drew in a breath, squared her shoulders and met his dark gaze. “That’s an excuse to keep yourself from being hurt, and we both know it.”
“I care about you, Sienna.” He shrugged, ran a hand through his hair. “That’s all I have to give you.”
Care. What an inconsequential word compared to the all-encompassing love she felt for him. Care was a nibble on a corner of stale bread and she was ready to offer the entire buffet—her heart and soul spread out before Cole. She’d wanted to give him everything.
“It isn’t enough, and I don’t believe it anyway. Not after everything—”
“Jase would have told you about the checks,” he interrupted, a clumsy change of subject that made Sienna want to scream in frustration. “Eventually. Or made Declan do it. You shouldn’t have found out the way you did.”
“Thanks, Sheriff Obvious.” Her anger was the rising tide at the beach on a hot summer day. She let it wash over her, obliterating her heartache—at least for the moment.
It was hard to see Cole as anything but the man she loved, so Sienna let anger surge through her heart. The less she allowed herself to feel right now, the more she could handle without a total breakdown.
“I’m sorry,” he said, lifting a hand as if to reach for her again, then dropping it when she took another step away.
“Me, too,” she whispered, her hand on the door to his office. “You’ll never know how much.”
* * *
“Make it right, Jase.”
Cole didn’t need to turn around on the barstool where he’d been planted for the past two hours to know his friend had arrived at Elevation Brewery, the most popular bar in Crimson. Guilt radiated from Jase, hot and sticky, scorching everything in its path.
“Tell me how.” Jase took a seat next to him and inclined his head to the man behind the bar. “Hey, David. Gimme whatever the sheriff’s drinking.”
“Too much whiskey,” David McCay, the bar’s owner, said quietly.
Out of the corner of his eye, Cole saw Jase nod. “Sounds good to me.”
David frowned but pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels from the shelf behind the bar. “Is there some high altitude apocalypse on the horizon?” he asked as he poured two fingers into a highball glass and set it in front of Jase. “Because it concerns me to see two of our top town leaders bellied up to my bar looking like they just got kicked in the family jewels.”
“His fault.” Cole hitched a thumb toward Jase. “He’s a damn liar.”
Jase grimaced. “Mind dialing down the volume? That’s the last thing I need broadcast out to the town.”
“A coward, too,” Cole added, ratcheting up his voice another notch. “I’m only telling the truth here. You should try it sometime, Mr. Mayor.”
“How much has he had?” Jase asked David.
“Enough that I’m cutting him off after that one.”
Jase leaned toward Cole. “Ida Wasinski is devouring a plate of wings at the table to your left. She’s the biggest gossip in Crimson, and she’s watching you like you’re covered in buffalo sauce.”
“You can’t cut me off.” The burn of the alcohol was the only thing that could ease the stabbing pain in his heart. Cole drained his glass, then pushed it toward David. “You think I’m going to be arrested if I have another drink?”
David shook his head. “I think you’re going to keep running your mouth, which might be worse.”
“Bring the lawman a drink, barkeep.”
Cole groaned as Shep slapped him on the shoulder.
David’s eyes widened and he swore under his breath. Jase swiveled his seat so he was facing the two Bennett brothers.
“That must have been one hell of a pour,” he said, glancing toward his empty glass. “Because I’m seeing double.”
“Not for long,” Cole muttered. “Get out of here, Shep.”
“In your dreams.” Shep settled on the barstool next to Cole. “I take it my brother the sheriff didn’t spend his off-duty hours regaling you with clever anecdotes from our twinsie childhood.”
“They know about you.”
“Hypothetical knowing and real-life seeing are different things,” Jase said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Put your faces next to each other’s so I can compare your features.”
Cole rolled his eyes. “Kiss my—”
“Another round for everyone,” David said quickly. He poured liquor into three glasses, then got called to the other end of the bar.
“My brother,” Shep said, leaning back to speak directly to Jase, “never loses control.”
Jase held up his glass as if he was toasting Cole’s self-control. “He’s a steady force in this community. A real prize.”
“A prize,” Cole muttered with a sharp laugh. “Gee, thanks.”
“Which makes whatever’s going on tonight all the more intriguing.” Shep tapped a finger on his chin as if he was pondering the future of the world. Cole wanted to punch him.
“What brings you to Crimson, Shep?” Jase asked.
Cole might be damn angry with his best friend, but he could still appreciate that Jase was trying to distract Shep. Cole sure as hell didn’t want to share anything about his feelings for Sienna with his twin. Even without details and not factoring alcohol into the equation, Shep had to be able to sense how upset Cole was and that meant giving his brother too much power.
“I bought some property here.”
“A summer home?”
“Not exactly.”
“The ski resort,” Cole blurted, sick of Shep’s weird little head games.
“Thanks, bro,” Shep whispered.
“It’s not like it’s a secret.”
Jase’s mouth dropped open but he quickly closed it. “You’re with the Trinity Development Company?”
“I’m the president.”
“Well then, welcome to Crimson.”
“You’re the mayor, right?”
“I am.”
“And friends with my brother.”
“Yes,” Jase said at the same time Cole mumbled, “We’ll see.”
“Trouble in paradise?” One side of Shep’s mouth curved. “Did one of you lads break the bro code? Skim a little from the other’s milk?”
“Shut up, Shep.”
“Nothing like that,” Jase clarified. “It’s my sister.”
“You dishonored a friend’s sister?” Shep nudged Cole’s shoulder. “I didn’t think you had it in you, buddy.”
“Do you ever get sick of being a jerk?” Cole asked his brother.
“Nope,” Shep said with a laugh. “It’s my superpower.”
“A jerk is handling the reopening of the ski mountain?” Jase downed the remainder of his drink. “Perfect.”
“Sienna is the only thing I care about right now.” Cole leaned his elbows on the bar and bent his head forward. “You should have seen how she looked at me.”
Jase sighed. “I know exactly how she looked at you because it was the same way with me.”
“Not the same,” Cole muttered. “You’re not in love with her.”
Shep whistled
low under his breath.
“Hell, no, I’m not in love with her. She’s my sis—” Jase stopped, sucked a breath. “Did you say you’re in love with her? With my sister?”
“That explains everything,” Shep said. He took another sip of whiskey. “If you love this chick, then of course you messed it up.”
“She’s not a chick,” Cole snapped, then turned to his brother. “Don’t call her that.”
“Yeah,” Jase agreed. “Show some respect.”
Shep held up his hands. “Got it.”
“What do you mean, of course I messed it up?”
“Tell me what happened.”
Cole pressed his lips together. “There was something she didn’t know that I knew and when she realized I knew before she knew—”
“He lied to her.” Jase rose from his stool.
“I didn’t lie,” Cole countered. “I just didn’t tell her that you’d lied.”
“It was for her own good,” Jase said, shaking his head.
“I thought so, too,” Cole said.
“Like all of Dad’s lies were for Mom’s own good?” Shep asked.
Cole shook his head. “Don’t go there.”
“Isn’t that what he told her?” Shep took another long drink. “That’s what he told all of us.” His tone was disgusted. “He ruined her.” He tipped his glass toward Cole. “And this ch...woman probably got off easy. How long were you together anyway?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Cole said. “What matters is that I should have told her from the start.”
“What was the big lie anyway?” Shep asked.
Cole glanced toward Jase, who shrugged.
“There was something she didn’t know about the agreement her parents had for child support after they got divorced,” Cole said.
Jase laughed softly. “You should be the politician. That was the biggest spin I’ve ever heard.” He took a step toward Shep. “My mother moved away from Crimson with Sienna when we were kids. My dad was a mess. Mom sent him money, and it was understood that he wouldn’t contact her or see my sister.”
“Like a payoff?” Shep asked.
“Such an ugly word,” Jase muttered.
“Exactly like a payoff,” Cole admitted, even though he’d tried to convince himself it was something different when Jase had first told him about the arrangement.
“That’s bad.” Shep leaned forward over the bar. “Bartender,” he shouted. “Another round for these two idiots and one for me, as well.”
Cole looked to David and shook his head slightly. “No more for me.” He glanced at his brother. “It’s bad.”
“Why didn’t you tell her?”
“I’m an idiot,” Cole muttered. “Just like you said.”
“It’s my fault.” Jase shook his head. “I asked you not to say anything.”
Shep gave a small laugh. “Bros before—”
“Sometimes I wish we were twelve again,” Cole interrupted, “so I could tackle you to the ground. It’s better this way. She got out early before I could hurt her even worse than I have. I’m my father’s son after all.”
“You don’t actually believe that.”
Cole glanced at his brother. “What are you talking about? We look just like him.”
“I’m not debating paternity.” Shep ran a hand through his hair. “But you aren’t like him.” He leaned in closer. “You are not our father.”
“I lied to her,” Cole whispered.
“Yes, and you’ll have to fix the mess you’re in. I recommend flowers and jewelry and a load of sappy, humiliating groveling. You can make this better. Hell, Cole, Dad could have made it better if he hadn’t been such a coward.”
“He was going to jail.”
“Which didn’t stop Mom from loving him. He gave up on her and on himself. That’s the part I couldn’t face. That’s why I never came back. He was supposed to be the strongest man I knew, and he gave up. Don’t be like him. Don’t give up.”
“I hate to side with your brother,” Jase said, “but he’s right.”
“Hell, yeah, I am.” Shep stood from his chair, pulled his wallet from his back pocket and threw a few crisp bills on the bar. “Do you know why?” He held up a hand before Cole could answer. “Because you are the strongest man I know. It sounds like this woman loves you, and there is nothing worth fighting for more important than that. Speaking of, I’ve actually got a lady waiting on me tonight. You two sad saps remind me I’d rather be with her.”
“I thought you just got to town,” Jase murmured. “You work fast.”
Shep flashed a grin. “Something like that.”
Cole met his brother’s gaze, and it was like looking at a version of his own reflection. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said quietly, surprised to realize it had been true from the first moment he’d spotted Shep on the ski resort’s patio. His brother might infuriate him, but their bond couldn’t be broken.
“Besides...” Shep quickly drained the glass of whiskey David had set on the bar in front of him, then took two steps back. “If you don’t handle it, I’m going to have to make myself available to help this poor girl get over you.”
“Shut up.”
“See ya, Cole.” Shep turned with a laugh and walked out of the bar.
“Can I fix this?” Cole asked Jase a moment later.
His friend sighed. “I sure as hell hope so.”
Chapter 18
Sienna looked up from the suitcase she was packing the next morning, shocked to see her father standing in the doorway of her room in the inn.
“You were discharged?” she asked, pressing a hand to her chest.
Declan shrugged. “AMA.”
Sienna felt her mouth drop open. “Against medical advice? Dad, you can’t do that. You have to go back. Let me take you back.”
He inclined his head toward the window at the front of the house. “I’m paying the cabbie to wait. Johnny and me have been friends forever. He cleaned up his act a few years before me, but he understands what I’m trying to do here.”
“Which is?” she asked slowly.
“Make things right,” he answered, flashing one of his self-deprecating grins. The years might have been hard on her father but she could see the handsome man he must have been twenty years ago. It was no wonder her mother had found him irresistible. “Can I come in?”
“You need to be in the hospital.”
“They were going to release me eventually.” He lifted a brow. “This won’t take long, baby girl, but you have every right to send me away if that’s what you need to do. Lord knows I deserve it.”
Sienna closed her eyes for a moment. A part of her wanted to refuse to hear him out. She had a flight booked to Chicago that afternoon, even though she didn’t recognize the life she was returning to. Her mother had left Crimson last night. She’d tried to convince Sienna she’d sent the monthly checks for Jase’s benefit and not to bribe Declan to stay out of Sienna’s life. Sienna didn’t believe it, but where else did she have to go at this point?
At least she had a history in Chicago. A job and friends...although the connections she’d made during her short time in Crimson felt just as strong as the relationships she’d had for years.
“I’ve got five minutes,” she said, meeting her father’s slate blue gaze.
“I only need four,” he promised and stepped into the room.
He took a thick envelope from his back pocket and shoved it toward her. “Johnny ran me by the house before we came here,” he explained. “This is for you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want your money.”
“Darlin’, I don’t have any money,” he said, then laughed. “Just open the envelope. Please.”
She took it, and they both ignored her trembling fingers.
“Why?” she whispere
d, glancing between her father and the thick stack of checks in the envelope. They were made out to Declan, written in her mother’s precise script. Each one was dated for the first of the month, and they went back over ten years.
“Your mother sent them even after Jase graduated high school.” He lifted one shoulder, let it drop like the weight on it was too much to sustain. “I was in pretty bad shape at that point, and she knew it. She sent a note—it was the first communication other than the checks I’d had with her since she left with you.”
Despite Sienna’s anger, the pain in her dad’s voice tore at her heart. Was it any wonder she was so messed up in her own life when she had the parents she did? Declan and Dana made dysfunction anything but fun. “You don’t have to share this with me.” She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to feel anything for this man.
“She told me to use the money to get my act together,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. Sienna got the impression he was saying the words as much for his own benefit as hers. “Because if you ever came looking for me, she wanted me to be around to deserve a second chance with you.”
Sienna shook her head slowly. “I don’t believe it.” The checks felt like a flame in her hand. It burned through her skin, but she kept her fingers tight on the edge of the stack. She couldn’t let go just yet. “She didn’t want me to see you. She hated when I came here.”
“Can you blame her?” he asked. “I don’t. Of course your mom didn’t want you anywhere near me, but she still wanted what was best for you.”
“So why didn’t you cash the checks?” She held up the envelope. “What’s the point of saving them?”
“That note was a wake-up call.” He scratched at the stubble that covered his jaw and smiled again. “Not that I was ready to wake up just then, but it resonated with me. I didn’t want to owe getting clean to your mom. I wanted to earn my way back into your life on my own.”
“But you never contacted me,” she countered. “Even after you got sober.”
“Letting you go was my greatest regret,” he said quietly. “Don’t think I didn’t realize what kind of a father it made me, even if I could rationalize it at the time. I still don’t deserve to be a part of your life, Sienna.”
A Place to Belong Page 34
