Only a month had passed, and in the last few days he had made it perfectly clear that he had no interest in ever hearing her talk again and would prefer that she didn’t. It made her sad. If she was always going to be so mistaken about men, she would be lucky ever to get to San Francisco.
At times, waiting, she had almost decided just to take the horse and the mule and try to find her way back to Lonesome Dove. Xavier had said he would marry her and take her anywhere she wanted to go. She remembered the day he had come into the room—his wild eyes, his threat to kill Jake. When she had nothing to do but sit around and think about it, her capacity for mistakes discouraged her so that she considered drowning herself in the little pool. But it was a sunny, pretty morning, and when she went into the pool a little later, it was only to wash her hair in the cool water. For a moment she put her head under and opened her eyes, but it felt silly—to die in such an element was only ridiculous. She began to wonder if perhaps she was touched—if that was why she made mistakes. Her mother had been touched. She often babbled of people no one knew. She talked to dead relatives, dead babies, speaking to them as if they were still alive. Lorena wondered if it was mistakes that had made her mother do that. Perhaps, after so many mistakes, your mind finally broke loose and wandered back and forth between past and present.
“Lorie, you look downcast,” Augustus said. “Not four or five days ago you felt keen and looked more beautiful than the sky. What’s that scamp done to cause such a change?”
“I don’t know, Gus,” Lorena said. “Seems like I change every day.”
“Oh, like most people do,” he said, watching her. She had a sad look in her eyes.
“I didn’t used to down in Lonesome Dove,” she said. “I mainly just felt the same from one day to the next.”
“Yes, hopeless,” Augustus said. “You didn’t expect nothing. Then Jake come along and started you expecting again.”
“I didn’t expect this,” Lorena said.
“No, but he got you hoping, at least,” Augustus said. “The trouble is, Jake ain’t a man to support nobody’s hopes but his own.”
Lorena shrugged. It hadn’t been Jake’s fault. He hadn’t asked her to turn herself over to him, although he had accepted readily enough when she did.
“I guess I’m in a fix,” she said. “He ain’t gonna take me to California.”
“Nope,” Augustus said. “It’s too bad Call’s ornery about women or we could make you a cook and all the cowhands could fall in love with you. Dish is near crazy with love for you as it is.”
“That won’t get him much,” Lorena said. Dish had been her last customer before Jake. He had a white body, like all the rest, and was so excited he was hardly with her any time.
“Well, he’s got you to think about,” Augustus said. “That’s more important than you might think. A young man needs a woman to think about.”
“I guess he’s free to think all he wants,” Lorena said. “Why’d you stop off, Gus?”
“Hoping for a poke,” Augustus said. “What’s it gonna be this time, draw poker?”
“No, blackjack,” Lorena said. “I’m luckier at it. What do I get if I win?”
Augustus grinned. “I’ll be your whore,” he said. “You can have a poke on demand.”
“Why would I want one?” Lorena asked. The notion of a man being a whore amused her a little, it was so unusual.
“Think about it a minute,” Augustus said. “Suppose it all worked the other way, and men were the whores. You just walk into a saloon and jingle your money and buy anyone you wanted. And he’d have to take his clothes off and do what you said do.”
“I never seen one I wanted,” Lorena said. “ ’Cept Jake, and that didn’t last any time.”
“I know it’s hard to think about,” Augustus said. “You been the one wanted all this time. Just suppose it was the opposite and you could buy what you wanted in the way of a man.”
Lorena decided Gus was the craziest man she had ever known. He didn’t look crazy, but his notions were wild.
“Suppose I was a whore,” he said. “I’ve always figured I’d make a good one. If you win this hand I’ll give you a free poke and all you’ll have to figure out is how to enjoy it.”
“I wouldn’t enjoy it,” Lorena said. She had never enjoyed it, and it would take more than Gus’s talk to change her opinion.
“Did you never play games?” Augustus asked.
“I played spin the bottle,” Lorena said, remembering that she had played it with her brother, who had been sickly and had stayed in Alabama with her grandmother.
“Well, it’s a kind of game we’re talking about,” Augustus said. “Games are played for fun. You’ve thought about it as a business too long. If you win the card game you ought to pretend you’re a fancy lady in San Francisco who don’t have nothing to do but lay around on silk sheets and have a nigger bring you buttermilk once in a while. And what my job is is to make you feel good.”
“I don’t like buttermilk,” Lorena said. To her surprise, Gus suddenly stroked her cheek. It took her aback and she put her head down on her knees. Gus put his hand under her wet hair and rubbed the back of her neck.
“Yes, that’s your problem,” he said. “You don’t like buttermilk, or nothing else. You’re like a starving person whose stomach is shrunk up from not having any food. You’re shrunk up from not wanting nothing.”
“I want to get to San Francisco,” Lorena said. “It’s cool, they say.”
“You’d be better off if you could just enjoy a poke once in a while,” Augustus said, taking one of her hands in his and smoothing her fingers. “Life in San Francisco is still just life. If you want one thing too much it’s likely to be a disappointment. The healthy way is to learn to like the everyday things, like soft beds and buttermilk—and feisty gentlemen.”
Lorena didn’t answer. She shut her eyes and let Gus hold her hand. She was afraid he would try more, without paying her or even playing cards, but he didn’t. It was a very still morning. Gus seemed content to hold her hand and sit quietly. She could hear the horses swishing their tails.
Then Gus let her hand go and stood up and took off his shirt and pants. Lorena wondered what made him behave so strangely—they were supposed to play cards first. Gus had on flannel underwear that had been pink once. It was so worn the color had almost faded to white. It was full of holes and his white chest hair stuck out of some of the holes. He also took off his boots and socks.
“You had your bath, but I ain’t had one,” he said, and went to the water hole and waded right in, underwear and all. The water was cold, but Gus went splashing off across the pool. He ducked his head under a few times and then swam back.
“Dern, that water was so cold it shriveled my pod,” he said. He sat down on a big rock to let the heat dry him. Then, looking beyond her, he apparently saw something she couldn’t see.
“Lorie, would you mind handing me my gun belt?” he asked.
“Why?” she asked.
“I see an Indian coming and I can’t tell if he’s friendly,” Augustus said. “He’s riding a pacing horse and that ain’t a good sign.”
His old pistol was so heavy she had to use both hands to pass the gun belt to him.
“Jake rides a pacing horse,” she said.
“Yes, and he’s a scamp,” Augustus said.
Lorena looked west, but she could see no one. The rolling plain was empty.
“Where is he?” she asked.
“He’ll be a while yet,” Augustus said.
“How do you know he’s an Indian, if he’s that far?” she asked.
“Indians got their own way of riding, that’s why,” Augustus said. “This one might have killed a Mexican or at least stole one’s horse.”
“How do you know?” she asked.
“He’s got silver on his saddle, like Mexicans go in for,” Augustus said. “I seen the sun flashing on it.”
Lorena looked again and saw a tiny speck. “I don’t k
now how you can see that far, Gus,” she said.
“Call don’t neither,” Augustus said. “Makes him mad. He’s better trained than me but ain’t got the eyesight.”
Then he grinned at her, and put his hat on to shade his eyes. He was watching the west in a way that made her apprehensive.
“You want the rifle?” she asked.
“No, I’ve shot many a sassy bandit with this pistol,” he said. “I’m glad to have my hat, though. It don’t do to go into a scrape bareheaded.”
The rider was close enough by then that she too could see the occasional flash of sun on the saddle. A few minutes later he rode into camp. He was a big man, riding a bay stallion. Gus had been right: he was an Indian. He had long, tangled black hair and wore no hat—just a bandana tied around his head. His leather leggings were greasy and his boots old, though he wore a pair of silver spurs with big rowels. He had a large knife strapped to one leg and carried a rifle lightly across the pommel of his saddle.
He looked at them without expression—in fact, not so much at them as at their horses. Lorena wished Augustus would say something, but he sat quietly, watching the man from under the brim of his old hat. The man had a very large head, squarish and heavy.
“I’d like to water,” he said, finally. His voice was as heavy as his head.
“It’s free water,” Augustus said. “I hope you like it cold. We ain’t got time to warm it for you.”
“I like it wet,” the man said and trotted past them to the pool. He dismounted and squatted quickly, raising the water to his mouth in a cupped hand.
“Now that’s a graceful skill,” Augustus said. “Most men just drop on their bellies to drink out of a pond, or else dip water in their hats, which means the water tastes like hair.”
The bay stallion waded a few steps into the pool and drank deeply.
The man waited until the horse had finished drinking, then came walking back, his spurs jingling lightly as he walked. Again he glanced at their horses, before looking at them.
“This is Miss Wood,” Augustus said, “and I’m Captain McCrae. I hope you’ve had breakfast because we’re low on grub.”
The man looked at Augustus calmly and a little insolently, it seemed to Lorena.
“I’m Blue Duck,” he said. “I’ve heard of you, McCrae. But I didn’t know you was so old.”
“Oh, I wasn’t till lately,” Augustus said. It seemed to Lorena that he too had a touch of insolence in his manner. Though Gus was sitting in his underwear, apparently relaxed, Lorena didn’t think there was anything relaxed about the situation. The Indian called Blue Duck was frightening. Now that he stood close to them his head seemed bigger than ever, and his hands too. He held the rifle in the crook of his arm, handling it like a toy.
“Where’s Call if you’re McCrae?” Blue Duck asked.
“Captain Call went to town,” Augustus said. “He’s shopping for a cook.”
“I was told I best kill both of you if I killed one,” the Indian said. “It’s my bad luck he’s gone.”
“Well, he’ll be back,” Augustus said, the insolence more pronounced in his voice. “You can sit over there in the shade and wait if you’d enjoy a chance at us both.”
Blue Duck looked him in the eye for a moment, and with a light movement swung back on his horse.
“I can’t wait all day just for the chance to shoot two worn-out old Rangers,” he said. “There are plenty that need killing besides you two.”
“I guess Charlie Goodnight must have run you off,” Augustus said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be off down here in respectable country riding some dead Mexican’s saddle.”
The man smiled a hard smile. “If you ever bring that goddamned old tongue of yours north of the Canadian I’ll cut it out and feed it to my wolf pups,” he said. “That and your nuts too.”
Without another look he rode past them and on out of the camp.
Lorena looked at Gus, half expecting him to shoot the man, but Gus just pushed his hat brim up and watched him ride away. Lorena almost wished Gus would shoot him, for she felt the man was a killer, although she had no basis for the judgment. He had not looked at her and didn’t seem to be interested in her, yet he felt dangerous. Sometimes the minute a man stepped into her room she would know he was dangerous and would hurt her if she gave him the opportunity. Even Tinkersley had been that way. Some days he was harmless, other days dangerous. She could tell, even with her back to him, if he was in a mood to slap her. If he was in such a mood, he would hit her no matter how small she walked. But she wasn’t really afraid with Tinkersley—his angers had a short life. He hit hard, but he only hit once.
The man called Blue Duck was much more frightening. He might not hit at all—or he might do something worse.
“Pack up, Lorie,” Augustus said. “You best stay near us for a night or two.”
“Who is he?” she asked.
“One we ought to have hung ten years ago,” Augustus said. “Couldn’t catch him. He’s a Comanchero. He’s got a greasy bunch of murderers and child-stealers. He used to work the Red River country from New Mexico all the way across to Arkansas, hitting settlers. They’d butcher the grown-ups and take the horses and kids.”
“Why couldn’t you catch him?” she asked.
“He was better at doing without water than we were,” Augustus said. “He knew them dry plains and we didn’t. Then the Army blocked us. MacKenzie said he’d get him, only he didn’t.”
“Would he have tried to kill you if Captain Call had been here?”
“I wonder,” Augustus said. “I guess he thinks he’s that good.”
“Do you think he is?” she asked.
“You never know,” Augustus said. “I don’t underestimate him, though he’d have to step quick to beat me and Call both.”
“He didn’t even look at me,” Lorena said. “I don’t think he’ll come back.”
“I imagine he took you in long before he got to camp,” Augustus said. “I ain’t the only one in the world with good eyesight.”
“I want to wait for Jake,” Lorena said. “I told him I’d wait.”
“Don’t be foolish,” Augustus said. “You didn’t know Blue Duck was around when you told him. The man might decide he wants to use you for fish bait.”
Lorena felt it was a test of Jake. She was frightened of the man, and part of her wanted to go with Gus. But she had trusted herself to Jake and she still hoped that he would make good.
“I don’t want to go to that cow camp,” she said. “They all look at me.”
Augustus was watching the ridge where Blue Duck had disappeared. “I should have just shot him,” he said. “Or he should have shot me. He was the last person I was expecting to see. We had heard that he was dead. I been hearing for years that he was dead, but that was him.”
Lorena didn’t believe the man was interested in her. Even if men avoided looking at her she could feel their interest, if they had any. The man called Blue Duck had been more interested in the horses.
“I don’t know that Jake can protect you, even if he comes back,” Augustus said.
It made her a little sad for Jake that all his friends doubted his abilities. He was not respected. Probably Gus was right: she should quit Jake. Gus himself was a more able man, she had no doubt. He might take her to California. He had made it clear he had no great interest in the cattle drive. He talked a lot of foolishness, but he had never been mean. He was still sitting on the big rock, idly scratching himself through a hole in the wet underwear.
“Gus, we could go to California,” she said. “I’d go with you and let Jake take his chances.”
Augustus looked at her and smiled. “Why, I’m complimented, Lorie,” he said. “Mighty complimented.”
“Let’s go then,” she said, impatient suddenly.
“No, I’m bound for Ogallala, honey,” he said.
“Where’s that?”
“In Nebraska,” he said.
“What’s there?” Lorena a
sked, for she had never heard anyone mention such a place.
“A woman named Clara,” Augustus said.
Lorena waited, but he said no more than that. She didn’t want to ask. It was always something, she thought—something to keep her from getting to the one place she wanted to be. It made her bitter—she remembered some of the things Gus had blabbed to her since she had known him.
“I guess you ain’t so practical, then,” she said.
Augustus was amused. “Do I claim to be practical?” he asked.
“You claim it but you ain’t,” Lorena said. “You’re going all the way to Nebraska for a woman. I’m a woman, and I’m right here. You could have the pokes, if that’s all it is.”
“By God, I got you talking anyway,” Augustus said. “I never thought I’d be that lucky.”
Lorena felt her little anger die, the old discouragement take its place. Once again she found herself alone in a hot place, dependent on men who had other things on their mind. It seemed life would never change. The discouragement went so deep in her that she began to cry. It softened Gus. He put an arm around her and wiped the tears off her cheeks with his finger.
“Well, I guess you do want to get to California,” he said. “I’ll strike a deal. If we both make it to Denver I’ll buy you a train ticket.”
“I’ll never make no Denver,” Lorena said. “I’ll never make it out of this Texas.”
“Why, we’re half out already,” Augustus said. “Texas don’t last much north of Fort Worth. You’re young, besides. That’s the big difference in us. You’re young and I ain’t.” He got up and put on his clothes.
“Dern, I wonder where that greasy bandit was going,” he said. “I’ve heard of him killing in Galveston; maybe that’s where he’s going. I wish now I’d have shot him while he was drinking.”
He tried again to get Lorena to come over to the cow camp, but Lorena just shook her head. She wasn’t going anywhere, and what’s more, she was through talking. It did no good, never had.
“This is a worrisome situation,” Augustus said. “I probably ought to track that man or send Deets to do it. Deets is a better tracker than me. Jake ain’t back and I ain’t got your faith in him. I best send one of the hands to guard you until we know where that bandit’s headed.”
The Lonesome Dove Chronicles (1-4) Page 168
