Perhaps they were anticipating their return, waiting to see what would take place once Anthony realised Diana was in their midst. Had Elizabeth known that she was sitting among his friends, she would have gathered her sister and left well before meeting her.
Cecilia! In her desperation, she had forgotten all about her sister. What kind of a sister was she?
But how would she reach her sister without being noticed by anyone? She was of no mind to return from whence she came, knowing that she was the current topic of conversation.
A part of her wished to know what Anthony would say in her defence. But then again, he may remain silent as he looked on his love with adoration.
No, she was not in the least prepared to return.
Perhaps I shall sit here for just a moment and take in the scenery. Cecilia will likely not realise that I am no longer among the guests, so taken is she with the most recent gossip. Megan had come armed with new information, but if her sister had in fact noticed that Diana Lambert had returned, she may come looking for her.
A struggle took place in her mind. Risk certain humiliation and pain to assure her sister that she was indeed all right, or remain in her position until she was certain of how to get to her sister without needing to pass by Anthony and Diana? Who knew how long it would take for her to find another way of getting to her sister? She would merely have to be the mature woman that she was and return. Cecilia would need to leave with her for Elizabeth did not wish to remain at the garden party a moment longer than necessary.
If Cecilia had any true affection for her, she would agree to leave.
Decision made, she stood up, only to sit back down again. “I cannot see him again,” she said out loud. “I simply cannot! The wound is too fresh.”
Cecilia would just have to forgive her for her heart could not take another arrow of rejection aimed at her. The peculiar thing was that she could not feel anything. She was completely numb. Surely she should be crying? At least that would be a release of emotions rather than the deadness within her. She was carrying a deadweight of emotions but could not feel them as she ought to.
How she wished that she was at home playing the pianoforte, then all else would fade away. It did not seem that long ago when she did not have any troubles in her life except the learning of new music. Her whole life had centred around her music, and her future aspirations had been crystal clear.
But now it seemed a lifetime ago.
Elizabeth was no longer the same woman who had come to London for the season. She was not sure as to who she was anymore. Would she become like Mama? Unhappy and bitter?
She shrugged, bending at her waist to pick a slender stick up off the ground. There was some dry soil surrounding the stone where she sat, and she found herself drawing musical notes, her chin firmly on her knees. Elizabeth began to hum a melody, a sweet one that spoke of young love. It was the wrong choice of music considering the circumstances, but it was what flowed from her heart nonetheless.
*
Watching Elizabeth run away had pulled at his heart in a most painful manner. It was as if she were running away with a happier part of him, leaving behind a confused man without a thought in his head about what to do about his situation.
“Why would you not listen to me?” he whispered.
Anthony still stood where Elizabeth had left him, trying to come to terms with his jumbled feelings. Diana is here, but Elizabeth is gone. I should be happier – is this not what I created the plan for? To return her to me quickly? And now she is here.
Why was he not joyful? Why had he run after Elizabeth when Diana had been right there before him? He had seen her surprised look when he had taken off after Elizabeth, hearing her angry call for him to return to her. But Anthony had not listened, for he could not. The further Elizabeth had gone, the lower his heart sank.
Catching her did not help him in the slightest. She still chose to leave him. He could not even explain himself for heaven's sake.”
But what would he have told her? Could he have confessed his feelings knowing that the woman he had fought so hard to get had come back?
Had he told her of his feelings, would she still have rejected him? She seemed firm about attaining her independence.
A hand with sharp nails suddenly latched itself to his arm, startling him.
“Anthony, darling. Would you embarrass me so before our friends? Do return to the party and cease to think about that woman.”
His brow heavily creased, he turned to look at the face of the woman he had obsessed over for the better part of six years. She was still beautiful, but there was a cruelness to her that he had never noticed before. Could this be due to his time spent with someone who had shown him what the love of a woman should be? Anthony shook his arm away, belatedly realising that his actions may seem harsh. He tried to soften it with a smile, one that sat tightly on his face.
“I could not have just let her go like that, Diana. I was courting her.”
“But now I have returned. I am sure that she understands your love for me. There is simply no possible way that you could love her the way that you love me.”
Anthony searched her eyes. “But do you love me?”
Diana began to laugh, but the sound of it grated upon his nerves. He could not help but compare it to Elizabeth's laugh.
“What a silly question to pose, Anthony, dear. Come, let us return to our companions before they begin to think that you actually may have feelings for that simple girl.”
She took his arm once more, this time pulling him along. Anthony allowed himself to be led by her, his thoughts still in turmoil. They approached their friends who grew silent as they neared, their eyes curious. Diana stopped before them, slender hands planted on her hips, brow raised in question.
"Why have you all become so silent? There should be rejoicing, for Anthony and I shall soon be married!"
Everyone stared at them for a moment, looking more so at him than Diana.
If I do not do or say something, Diana will surely throw a tantrum, although we have yet to discuss anything related to matrimony. He decided that a smile would suffice, a small smile that would be the confirmation their friends needed. The group was suddenly filled with chatter, squeals, clapping and words to congratulate them. The only one to remain silent was Felton, who merely stared at him, his eyes narrowed.
Anthony knew that his friend would be the only one to understand his request. He looked Felton straight in the eyes and mouthed the words 'go to her, find her'.
Nodding, Felton immediately got up and slipped away from the group. He went unnoticed as everyone's eyes were on Diana, who could not have been any happier to be the focus of her audience. Anthony took a seat on the blanket, trying to be pleased that Diana had returned. But his mind continued to stray to the auburn-haired beauty with the amber eyes.
*
Elizabeth found that she could no longer sit about fretting over a situation she could not change. There was nothing for it. She simply had to return, collect her sister, and go home.
As she walked back to the party, she spoke the same words over and over again to herself.
“I am not a coward, I am not a coward. I am a strong woman with her whole life ahead of her.”
However, as soon as she spotted the garden party still in full swing before her, everything in her being wanted to turn around and run as fast as she could. She went so far as to turn her body, but a step could not be taken when a gentle hand held her forearm. Thinking that it was Anthony, she took a deep breath and turned back to pummel him with her words, only to encounter the worried gaze of his friend.
“Felton? Why are you not with the rest of your companions?”
“Anthony has asked for me to see how you are.”
Elizabeth looked to the side, unwilling for him to see the flash of pain in her eyes. He wished to know how I am, why? What good would it do either of us? Her numbness began to crack, letting in the emotions she knew were waiting to be unleash
ed. She forced herself to school her features before looking at Felton again.
“Tell your friend that he is not to worry about me. Diana is back, and he still loves her. I wish them all the happiness in the world.”
Liar.
She watched Felton shake his head, his eyes full of understanding.
“Do not give up, Elizabeth.”
She sighed. “This is not a case of giving up, Felton. It is a case of common sense.”
“Common sense? This is anything but common sense!”
Elizabeth looked at him, praying that she would not say anything to betray her feelings for Anthony. Did he know of the plan? Anthony did not say that he had told Felton. She decided to test him.
“Plans are not always successful, Felton. Anthony may have courted me for this short while, but I would have been foolish to believe that his love for Diana had died. Fate has run its course.”
"Fate?" he asked. "I had hoped that he would put aside his ridiculous wish for Diana to return to him, but I see that he did not. This is not fate, Elizabeth, but a well thought out plan that I daresay you were a part of. There is simply no possible way that you would have simply walked away being the headstrong woman that you are. If anything, you would have given Diana choice words about her cruel treatment of Anthony."
So he did know.
“When did you find out?”
“As soon as you had seen Diana. You did not question anything, you simply walked away. Why?”
“Because it was what he had wanted. You know that better than anyone.”
“I also know how much she hurt him. You would never do that to him, Elizabeth, this I am sure of. Do not give up on him. You are a much better match for him than Diana will ever be. He needs you in his life.”
She would not put her heart on a platter only for him to throw it to the pigs. “You are mistaken if you believe that it is all about suitability. Anthony loves Diana, he does not love me. Would you have me pursue a man who loves another woman?”
“Are you certain that he loves her?”
She laughed a bitter sound that was terrible to hear, even to her own ears. "What kind of a question is that? Of course, he loves her. This has always been about Diana."
And her music, lest she forget that.
"Anthony is confused. Severely so. Having Diana near him will not do him any good either. But I find that the most important question to ask here is whether or not you, in fact, love him?"
Elizabeth stared at him, unable to answer. What good would it do her to confess her feelings? She would only be a fool to do so. The sound of laughter attracted her attention, and she found herself involuntarily turning to inspect the source. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the scene before her. Anthony looked perfect beside Diana, two dark heads who undoubtedly attracted attention wherever they went. She watched as Diana placed her hand in his and then looked directly at her. Elizabeth waited to see what Anthony would do, half hoping that he would remove his hand. But he did not. Instead, he stared at the entwined hands, and then looked up at Diana, smiling. If Elizabeth could have cut out her own heart and thrown it into the sea, she would have. She stifled a gasp as an inexplicable pain erupted within her, choking her.
“Elizabeth,” Felton said. “Do you love him?”
She took a deep breath in, needing to control her expression. It was time to return home. Rather than answer his question, she said the only thing that she could say at that moment.
“Would you please collect my sister, Felton? I find that I am not doing too well. Perhaps the heat has been simply too much this day.”
Silence. She looked at him, wondering why he had failed to answer her. Seeing the sadness in the nobleman's eyes was nearly her undoing.
“Felton?” she asked again.
“Yes, of course.”
He not only collected her sister but also escorted them to their carriage. Once they were settled inside, she looked out of the window and bid him farewell. Only he did not reply in kind. Instead, he spoke a few words that stayed with her throughout her journey to their residence.
“I wish that things had been different.”
*
Peace was what she craved, but it continued to elude her as her sister pestered her with questions. “Why did we have to leave the garden party so early?”
“I have a headache.”
Cecilia frowned. “A headache? Eliza, you were well when I last saw you with the baron.”
“A great deal of time has passed since I last saw you speaking with Megan.”
Her sister settled back into her seat, but no sooner had Elizabeth closed her eyes than Cecilia chose to speak again. “The most peculiar thing happened today, but I am not entirely sure about it.”
Elizabeth did not even want to ask what it was, but she knew what was expected of her.
“And what may that have been?”
“I may have seen Miss Diana Lambert today.” Cecilia laughed. “But surely I could not have? She is in Paris. Why would she choose to attend an event where Anthony would be? Did she not reject him? And he is not courting you? But he did not escort us to the carriage. Why is that, Eliza?”
Perhaps if she did not answer, Cecilia would stop her questioning. It was not likely to happen, but she could hope. Elizabeth laid her head against the seat and tilted it upwards, eyes closed. It did not take long during their carriage ride for her to realise that the early arrival of Diana may not work in her favour after all. Their father may still continue with his ultimatum, believing that one brief and failed courtship was not enough to renounce marriage altogether. If Cecilia found out the nature of this courtship, she would be livid.
“Has something happened, Eliza?”
Elizabeth scrunched up her face, a harsh retort begging to be released from her tongue. To her relief, the carriage began to slow down. She could feel her sister's eyes on her, but she refused to look her way.
“Eliza? Will you ignore me?”
The carriage came to a complete stop, and before the footman could open the doors, Elizabeth burst out of the contraption and hurried to the door. It opened as she reached it, but she took no notice of the person holding it open. She swept past them and stormed up the stairs to her room. To her dismay, her sister followed closely behind her.
“Eliza! What is the meaning of this? Why do you ignore my questions? Has something happened?”
Elizabeth rounded on her sister. “Would you stop pestering me with questions that I have no desire to answer? Now, kindly leave my room and let me rest.”
“Certainly not! Something has happened, and I daresay that I know precisely what it is.”
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “Then why ask me? You apparently know everything without me needing to enlighten you. Well done, Cecilia!” She turned away. “Please, leave my room.”
“Has the baron rejected you?”
Hearing the words being spoken were like a knife to her chest. She gripped the area, so sure that her life's blood would come bursting forth. Her sister walked around her to stand directly before her.
“Has the baron rejected you?” she asked again.
Elizabeth laughed sorrowfully. “Define reject, dear sister. Would you call it rejection if you knew that it was all an orchestrated plan?”
Lords to Be Enamored With: A Historical Regency Romance Collection Page 48
