But as he walked away from me this time, I didn’t feel the sense of dread that had followed me around for the last day. Instead, I felt hope, hope that the odds were in my favor, because there was no way I was letting go of him without a fight. And after tonight, he’d know it too.
24 Panther
HOURS LATER, I pulled into the lot of the abandoned park, the one I’d come to after first kissing Solo at NAFTA what seemed like years ago. That day was the first time I really felt like I’d gotten to see a glimpse of the man behind the rebellious act he put on.
I shut off the bike and placed my helmet on one of the handles, then headed over to where the long-deserted merry-go-round sat empty. It felt like déjà vu being back here, all up in my head after another round with Solo. The start of his apology had seemed genuine enough, but I needed more than “I’m sorry” to make things right. I needed to know what was going on in his head that had caused him to lash out, and if he couldn’t give me that, then there wasn’t a present or future with him, no matter how much the thought of it stung.
Gravel crunched under the weight of Solo’s bike approaching, and I felt my stomach twist around itself in anticipation. Was this going to be the beginning or the end? I certainly knew which way I thought things were going, but after Solo’s outburst, I was starting to second-guess myself.
As he stopped his bike and climbed off, I wiped my sweaty palms on my thighs, my nerves shot to shit after everything that had gone down. But when he pulled his helmet off, the look of relief that crossed his face told me I wasn’t the only one.
Solo secured his helmet to the back of his bike and climbed off. As he made his way in my direction, I took a second to drink him in like this—like a lover would—just in case it was my last.
He was in jeans and a white t-shirt, and before he’d gotten off his bike, he’d slipped his Aviators back in place. It was one of the most casual outfits he could possibly wear, but Solo exuded this certain kind of swagger, this effortless sex appeal, that made every single part of my body respond—especially my heart.
He was it for me. I’d known it for some time now. But with the possibility of it coming to an end, of Solo feeling differently, I made sure to memorize this moment, this picture he made, for fear it would be the last thing I got.
“You’re here,” Solo said, coming to a stop in front of me, and it took everything I had not to tell him I would’ve gone anywhere if it meant him finally talking to me. He’d hurt me, and while I wanted nothing more than to stand up, kiss his frustrating mouth, and tell him everything was okay, I needed more than that. I needed an explanation.
“I told you I would be.”
“Yeah, but I kinda thought you might ditch me. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I wouldn’t blame me either.” When Solo grimaced, I blurted out, “You were a real dick yesterday, you know that?”
Solo nodded then gestured to the empty spot on the merry-go-round beside me. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“No. But only if you’re going to talk. I’m not really in the mood for the whole there’s nothing wrong speech again.”
Solo didn’t say anything to that, but he didn’t need to. The fact that he sat next to me spoke volumes.
“Panther, I…” Solo paused and looked over my shoulder for a second, and I could see the wheels turning as he tried to work out where he wanted to begin. Then his eyes came back to mine, and the pain there nearly made my heart break. “I’m so sorry for what I said to you yesterday.”
I could tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it, but that still wasn’t enough for me. “Which part?”
Solo’s eyes widened a fraction. “Which part? Um…all of it? I’m pretty sure yesterday’s flight caused my brain to melt and word vomit to just pour out of my mouth.”
“Yeah, but it came from somewhere, Solo.” I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. “You’ve had bad days in the air before and never lost your shit quite so spectacularly. So, I need more than that. I need you to trust me more than that if you want this”—I stopped short of saying “relationship,” because I had no idea how he viewed us at this stage—“whatever this is to continue.”
Solo stared at me as though I was speaking in another language. But then he took one of my hands in his and wrapped his fingers around mine.
In the last couple of days I’d realized two very important things about Mateo “Solo” Morgan: he had the power to make my world feel complete and the power to make it fall apart, and that scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
“This,” Solo said, as he brought my hand up and placed it over his heart. “You mean everything to me. Everything, Panther. So much so that the thought of losing you has made me lose my brain these last couple of days.”
I sat there staring into his deep brown eyes, and as his words played on a loop in my head, I kept getting caught up on one thing in particular. “Why would you ever think you were going to lose me?” Solo lowered his eyes, but I wasn’t about to let him shut down, not now that we were finally getting somewhere. I raised my hand and cradled his cheek in my palm. “Tell me.”
25 Solo
I’D KNOWN THIS conversation was coming—and had been dreading it. It was ninety-nine percent of the reason I’d been a total shit this week. But I knew there was no way out of this. Panther needed to know about the conversation I’d had with his father, and I wasn’t quite sure how he was going to react.
If it was anything like me, it wouldn’t be positively.
“Solo?”
I took in a deep breath and entwined my fingers in his.
“Do you remember that morning I ran out to the grocery store? The morning of the pool party?”
The pained look on his face told me he did. “It’s kind of hard to forget. You left my room with a smile on your face and came back looking like someone had run over your favorite pet.”
“Not someone, your dad.”
Panther narrowed his eyes. “Okay, back up a second. What about my dad?”
Well, here goes nothing.
“That morning, I ran into him at the store.” I let my words sink in, and when it was clear Panther wasn’t about to say anything, I continued. “I’m not sure if you remember what I was there buying, buuut it wasn’t just beer.”
“I remember.” Panther’s voice was calm, low, and a little bit…tense.
“Yeah. Uh, well, he said a few things to me that—”
“That what?” Panther demanded, drawing his hand away from mine.
I wanted to reach for it again, but the vibe rolling off him right now didn’t exactly scream, Comfort me. It screamed, Hurry up and finish the fucking story.
“What did he say to you, Solo?”
I licked at my lips, wondering how much to divulge, but in the end decided to go with the CliffsNotes.
“Nothing I didn’t already know.” I leaned back against the handrail on the merry-go-round and slipped my hands into my pockets so I wouldn’t do something stupid like try to reach for him again.
“Such as?”
“Such as, he’s not happy about this…us. He doesn’t think I’m a good choice for you, and I’m certainly not the one he would’ve picked out.”
I looked over my shoulder. Anywhere but at a silent Panther. I couldn’t seem to get a read on him, but when he shot to his feet and started to pace, I knew the smartest course of action was to wait.
Wait and let what I’d said process.
“He told you that?” Panther finally said. “He told you that he’s not happy about us?”
His icy tone sent a chill up my spine, and so did the tic in his jaw. Panther was pissed. When I nodded, he cursed.
“What else did my father say to you that morning?”
“Um…” I swallowed, and Panther leaned down and placed his hands on the rail I was leaning against, effectively caging me in. “He said that if I cared for you then I should do what’s best for you.”
“What’s best for me?”
&n
bsp; “I believe his exact words were ‘I expect you’ll do the right thing.’”
If anger had a shade, it would’ve been the red tinge now staining Panther’s cheeks.
“And what exactly is that supposed to be? Pushing me away? Treating me like a piece of shit for the last couple of days?”
“No.” I got to my feet, and Panther took a step back, but I wasn’t letting him go anywhere. “Trust me, that’s the worst thing I could’ve done. The dumbest fucking thing. He just…he got in my head, okay?” I threw my hands up in the air. “He got in my head, made me doubt myself—”
“And me.”
“Yes,” I admitted, as Panther went back to pacing. “And you. And, well, I started to think that maybe he was right and you would be better off without me. I mean, let’s face it, you deserve way better than someone like me.”
“I deserve better?”
“Yeah. I’m not stupid, Panther. You’re practically Navy royalty. You’re smart as hell, you fly like you own the sky, and you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. I love you, but I’m under no delusions. I’m aware that I probably only have you for a limited time here.”
Panther stopped and slowly pivoted. “What did you just say?”
As I thought back over my words, three that I’d never said to anyone stood out like a flashing neon sign.
As Panther began walking in my direction, I found myself backing up, not because I feared violence or rage, but because the emotions in his eyes mirrored everything I’d felt over the last couple of weeks and been too afraid to say out loud.
“You said you loved me.”
“I…”
Panther’s blazing blue eyes held me in some kind of trance, and his lips curved into a smug smile. “You said you loved me.”
Just hearing him say those words made my heart feel like it was going to burst, and that smile was designed to bring me to my knees. “I did.”
Panther reached for one of the belt hooks in my jeans and tugged me in as close as he could. Then he lowered his head and whispered across my lips, “Say it again.”
“I love you,” I said, and reached up to take hold of Panther’s face. “I just didn’t realize how much until I’d almost lost you.”
“Never.” Panther’s eyes fell shut and he leaned his forehead against mine. “You could never lose me because I’d refuse to go. I love you too, Solo. And I don’t care what anyone has to say about that, especially my father. These last few days have felt like forever.”
I pressed a soft kiss to Panther’s lips. “I’m so sorry for everything I said to you—”
“It’s okay.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s not. I should’ve trusted you, trusted us more. You’re right. I let your dad get in my head when I should’ve come and talked to you.”
“Trust me, I get it. If anyone understands the kind of mind games my father can play, it’s me. But next time, don’t shut me out, okay? We can deal with anything, even him, as long as we’re doing it together.”
“Deal,” I said, and then took Panther’s hand, an idea suddenly taking hold of me. “So, um, will you let me make it up to you?”
Panther arched an eyebrow and looked me over. “Well, I’m certainly not going to say no to that.”
I started walking backward toward my bike, a grin on my lips, his hand in mine. “Hmm, I was hoping you’d say that.”
Panther licked his lips as we continued toward our bikes, the heaviness from before replaced with a levity that made me feel like I could float on air.
“Okay, I have to do a few things first, but…how about you knock on my door at eight and I’ll treat you to a night you’ll never forget?” I pressed a kiss to his jaw. “A night that will remind you that you are exactly who I want and who I want to be with.”
A shiver racked Panther’s body. I stepped back then dropped his hand and climbed onto my bike. As I gunned the engine, I flashed a grin his way. I took a mental snapshot of him standing there, looking at me like I’d hung the moon, and I promised myself as I rode out of the parking area that by the time the night was over, I’d make sure he saw the stars too.
26 Panther
I WASN’T SURE why I was nervous, but as I stared at the clock, waiting for eight to arrive, I became more and more anxious. It was ridiculous, but at the same time made total sense after everything that had happened today.
Solo had promised me a night I would never forget, a night that would remind me that I was exactly who he wanted and where he wanted to be. That sexy smirk as he rode away from the playground told me he knew exactly what his promise had done to me.
I’d never felt such anticipation in my life, and he knew it.
I looked down at my jeans and shirt and wondered if I should change for the fiftieth time in the last thirty minutes, and then told myself to stop being an idiot. I looked fine, and I doubted I’d be wearing it for long anyway.
When it finally turned eight, I got to my feet and headed next door. Things had been surprisingly quiet over there, considering I could usually hear some kind of movement. But any worries that Solo wasn’t home disappeared the second I knocked on the door and he pulled it wide open, and holy hell, the sight of him took my breath away.
He was dressed in nothing but a pair of cargo shorts that sat low on his hips, and it was clear Solo hadn’t worried at all about what he was wearing, and why the hell would he? His body was a work of art. Any nerves I’d been feeling vanished in the face of all those rippling muscles begging me to touch them. Add in the dog tags hanging around his neck and the sexy smile curving his luscious lips, and I was done.
Nothing had ever made me feel the way Solo did. He’d not only managed to capture my attention but my heart. Now that I knew he was in this—really in this with me—I allowed all of those feelings I’d been wary of to take over. I gave myself permission to let go.
“Good evening, Lieutenant Hughes.” Solo’s smooth cadence was an invitation I couldn’t refuse.
Damn, he was beautiful. His brown hair, buzzed short, enhanced the thick lashes surrounding those dark eyes, and his high cheekbones and full lips spoke of his Spanish heritage, as did the spectacular tan. There was no way I could stop myself from touching him.
I ran my fingers down the silver chain hanging around his neck. “Evening, Lieutenant Morgan.”
Solo licked his lower lip, and for a second I thought I saw the same flash of nerves I’d been feeling a second ago. It was as though we both understood that this was a new beginning for us. The beginning of…forever.
“Would you like to come in?”
I nodded. “More than my next breath.”
Solo chuckled and stepped back to let me pass by. My eyes swept around his room and my breath got caught somewhere in the back of my throat. Sometime between him leaving me at the playground and now, Solo had turned his room into something straight out of my dreams.
The room was awash with a soft, flickering glow courtesy of God only knew how many candles set about the place. As I walked farther into his room, it became clear they weren’t the usual wax-burning variety but those battery-operated ones.
There were tall ones, short ones, tea lights, and even some little lanterns. I heard the door shut behind me and turned to see him leaning up against it watching me. The shadows of light playing over his skin made him impossibly sexier, and when my eyes traveled to the bed to see that he’d already pulled back the covers for us, my cock began to pound in time to my heart.
Solo had put a lot of thought into tonight, and the idea of him setting this stage for us, of him planning out the perfect night, made me love him even more.
“Solo, this is…”
When he pushed off the door and sauntered over to me, my knees buckled. Damn he was sexy, and even better, he was mine.
“You like?”
I looked around and nodded. “Mhmm. I like.”
Solo ran a finger down the buttons of my shirt. “Good, because I had this urge to see what you
look like in candlelight.”
I understood that, because he looked fucking amazing. “Where on earth did you find all these candles?”
His low rumble of laughter made my dick jerk. Oh yeah, I loved this sensual stage he’d set up for us tonight.
“Um, let’s just say if anyone is looking for battery-operated lights at any local stores, they’re going to have to wait until they’re restocked. I cleared them out. Of batteries, too.”
I laughed as Solo slipped his fingers under the top button of my shirt and began to flick each one open. “I love you.”
Solo’s fingers stopped and he angled his face up toward mine. “I love you too.”
I reached for his face and swept my thumb across his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut and he took in a deep breath. I lowered my head and brushed my lips across his.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For all of this.”
Solo slid his hand beneath my shirt to my chest and flashed that heartbreaker smile, and I knew no matter if it was tomorrow or the next day or one hundred days from now, I would do whatever I needed to to see that smile every day of my life.
“I mean, if you’re impressed with the candles, then I can’t wait to see your reaction to this.” Solo leaned over and picked up his phone from the nightstand and hit play, and when a familiar melody filled the air, I couldn’t hide my amusement.
“Excuse me,” Solo said as he sidled in close to me. “Are you laughing right now? I’ll have you know this song is very sexy.”
“‘Sweet Love’?” I wound my arms around his waist.
“Mhmm,” he said as he kissed his way up my jaw to my ear. “I like dancing with you.”
“I can tell.” With his hips swaying against mine, there was no mistaking his arousal.
“You like it too, I see.”
“Very much,” I said, and pulled him a little tighter against me. “I’m just afraid that every time I hear Anita Baker now, I’ll get hard.”
Classified (The Elite Book 3) Page 9
