Chapter 15
“I’m so sorry about that.” Aaron shook his head. “I had no idea this storm was coming in. I never would have sent you out on your own—or at all—if I’d known.”
“It’s alright. I know that.” I ran my hands back through my wet hair. “I think it’s passed enough now. She’ll probably be okay to ride home.”
“I’ll stay with you to make sure you get back.” He looked past me at Oliver. “Thanks for finding her. I’m not sure where you learned to ride, but you definitely have some skills. You might want to think about getting involved in our competitive riding.”
“No thanks.” Oliver crossed his arms as he stared at Aaron. “I’m not going to be around long enough to compete.”
His words struck me hard as he mounted Clover.
That’s right, Maby, he’s got one foot out the door. You need to stop letting your imagination run wild.
“Sorry to hear that.” Aaron offered me his hand to help me up onto Goldie. “Are you sure you feel okay riding her back? She might still be a little nervous.”
“I think I’ll be okay.” I climbed back up onto the horse without looking in Oliver’s direction.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be by your side.” Aaron smiled at me.
I waited for the warmth to billow through my stomach in reaction to his kindness and attention. Instead, all I could think about was Oliver’s eyes on me.
As I took Goldie’s reins, I did my best to focus on the trail ahead. Though the rain had faded to a drizzle, the ground had become muddy and Goldie needed my focus on her.
Aaron remained beside me, just as he’d promised, while Oliver and Clover trotted a short distance behind us. Once the horses were settled in the stable, I pulled out my phone and called for a taxi.
Oliver leaned against the fence of the corral and stared up at the still cloudy sky.
As I walked over to him, I was reminded of his touch on my cheek and the strange way we’d ended up in our own universe.
“Ollie.”
“Don’t call me that.” He frowned.
“Why not?”
“Does it matter?” He looked away from the sky and met my eyes. “I just don’t want you to call me it.”
“Is it what Shauna calls you?”
“No. No one calls me Ollie.” He peered at me with a faint smile on his lips. “No one until you.”
“Then I should be allowed to call you it.” I shrugged. “It’s tradition in my group of friends. Everyone gets a nickname.”
“That’s why you’re Maby?”
“Yes, and now you’re Ollie.” I leaned back against the fence beside him.
“Does that make me your friend?” He stretched his arms out along the fence.
I became aware of his arm behind my shoulder blades. I did my best not to actually brush up against him.
“Yes, you’re my friend.” I turned to face him. “You saved me today.”
“I was joking about the hero thing.” He smiled.
“I wasn’t. I could have really been hurt. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, I think she might have thrown me. Thank you.” I looked into his eyes. “I don’t think I said that.”
“You’re welcome.” He tipped his head toward mine. “But I’m still not a hero.”
“Maybe not, but you’re pretty close.”
A horn beeped, alerting me to the presence of the taxi.
“Are you going to ride back with me?”
“Sure. I guess I need to get out of these wet clothes.” He tugged at the hem of his shirt, then pulled it up over his head.
I should have looked away, but I just couldn’t. The moisture that lingered on his chest glistened in the sunlight that began to peek through the clouds. A second beep from the taxi made me jump.
“You okay?” Oliver looked me over.
“Sure. Yes, fine.” I turned and walked toward the taxi. Yet again, I found myself distracted by something that I felt I shouldn’t even notice. So what if he was shirtless? So what if he’d rescued me from a wild horse in the middle of a storm? None of that changed the fact that he was going to leave and that I had a rule about not dating while in high school.
He caught up to me at the taxi just as I slid to the far side of the seat. He settled in beside me, then leaned back and closed his eyes.
I stole a look in his direction. His face relaxed when he had his eyes closed. No charming smile, no sharp retort, just a placid expression rippling with subtle sadness. I wanted to know more about him, even though I knew it would do me no good. In that moment, it seemed as if he might be willing to talk.
“She really hurt you, huh?” The question hung heavy in the air between us. I swallowed hard as I realized that it wasn’t as casual as it sounded in my head.
“I’m resting. I’m all hero-ed out.” He ran his fingertips along the slope of his chest, then placed his hand on the taut muscles of his stomach.
“It’s okay, you know. You can talk to me about it. Most of my friends talk to me about what they’re dealing with.” I shifted in the seat so that I could turn to face him. “It helps and I’ve been told I’m great at giving advice.”
“Great at giving advice about romance when you’ve never experienced it for yourself?” He opened his eyes just enough to see me. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Maybe it does. Because I’ve never experienced it, I can have a pure perspective. I’m not blinded by the illusion.”
“Love isn’t an illusion.” He opened his eyes fully and sat forward on the seat. “If you’d ever let yourself feel it, you’d know that.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I rolled my eyes and looked out the window beside me. “You’re not old enough to know what real love is.”
“Is that what you really think?” I felt his bare shoulder touch mine as he slid closer to me. “That you have to be a certain age to know what it is?”
“Yes.” I refused to look at him as I felt my muscles tighten. Too close—he was far too close.
“Shauna and I dated for four years. We’ve known each other since we were kids.” He lowered his voice. “She was there for me when my grandfather suffered and when he passed away. I was there for her when she lost her little sister. So, was none of that real because we weren’t old enough?”
“It sounds like you two have a lot of history.” I frowned as I continued to look through the window. “No wonder it hurt so much when things ended.”
“Maby.” He placed his hand lightly on my knee.
I bit into my bottom lip and refused to look in his direction.
“Pretending we’re not old enough to feel things doesn’t make it hurt any less. Does it?”
“I wouldn’t know. Like you said, I don’t have any experience with romance.” I felt some relief as I saw Oak Brook come into view.
“Maybe not with romance, but I know you’ve lost someone.”
His words struck me hard. How did he know that? I glanced over at him and instantly I lost myself in his determined eyes. He wanted to know me the same way I wanted to know him.
The taxi pulled to a stop. It took me several seconds to remember that I needed to pay the fare. Once I did and stepped out, I thought I’d be able to make my escape. But he stepped right between me and the gate of the school.
“Tell me, who was it?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tried to walk around him.
“Maby.” He caught me by the shoulder, his hand warm and gentle against me, but his tone stern. “I told you something about me, can’t you tell me something about you?”
“You won’t understand.” I looked into his eyes.
“Try me.” He stared back at me.
“I lost my best friend.” I stared hard at the sidewalk beneath my shoes. “We didn’t have a four-year romance—she didn’t die—there’s no great tragedy here. I just lost her.”
Chapter 16
“I’m sorry.” He gave my shoulder a comforting squeez
e. “That must have been hard for you.”
“I know, you probably think it’s silly. Immature.” I peered into his eyes. “But ever since I lost her, it’s been hard for me to get close to people. She was more than a friend to me, she was my sister. One minute she was there and the next she was gone.”
“Did you two have some kind of fight?” He frowned. “Can’t you find a way to work it out?”
“Is that what you’re doing with Shauna? Why you keep calling her?” I searched his eyes. “Because you’re trying to work it out?”
“Some things are just too broken.” His hand fell away from my shoulder. “But yes. For the past few months, I’ve been thinking that I’d do anything to get her back.”
“And now?” I watched his expression closely.
“Now…” He smiled some. “Now, I’ve found myself forgetting all about her.”
“Maybe you’re starting to heal.” I smiled.
“Maybe I’m ready to move on.” He gazed steadily into my eyes.
The intensity of his stare made me take a sharp breath. Did he mean what I thought he meant? Had Oliver really set his sights on me?
“I should get back. You need to get some clothes on.” I laughed as I waved to him and hurried through the gate. I could pretend as well as anybody else. I could ignore the undercurrent of attraction between us. I could deny that I wanted to throw myself into his arms and promise him that I could help him get over Shauna.
My mind spun as I made my way back to my dorm room. My heart raced. As confusion filled my thoughts, there was one thing I was certain of. I wanted to be back in the rain with him, with his head tilted so close to mine. I wanted to run my hands across his chest and whisper promises that I would never hurt him the way that Shauna had.
“Unbelievable!” I slammed my bedroom door shut, then threw myself down on my bed. “This can’t be happening.” I groaned as a mixture of elation and horror flooded through me.
I’d promised myself I’d never go through this, not while I was still in high school, not when I had my future to think about. Yet, there I was, curled up in a ball in my bed, aching for a boy who would never feel the same way about me.
Oliver needed something to take his mind off his pain and I was that something. He could fixate on me and forget about Shauna. He could mend his broken heart by tearing into mine.
I couldn’t let that happen. But was it already too late?
A knock on my door jolted me from the chaos that swirled through me. For an instant I thought it might be Oliver, then I heard Fifi’s voice.
“Are you in there?” She knocked again. “Maby, what’s going on? Candy said she saw you run in here like someone was chasing you. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” I sighed as I rested my head against my pillow and closed my eyes.
“You’re lying.” She opened the door.
“Go away, Fi.” I groaned and hid my head under my pillow.
“Everyone is talking about some kind of crazy thing that happened at the stables.” She sat down on the edge of my bed. “Were you there?” She plucked the sleeve of my soaked shirt. “I can see you were caught in the rain.”
“I was there.” I turned over and looked up at her. For a split second I thought she was Jennifer. Then her features came into view. “A storm kicked up and it made my horse go a little crazy.”
“Did Aaron save you?” Fifi grinned. “I wouldn’t mind being saved by him.”
“No, it wasn’t Aaron.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wondered if I could tell her the truth. Maybe if I talked about it, I could get it out of my system.
“But someone did save you?” Fifi looked into my eyes. “Alright, you have to spill. I need to know what’s going on with you.”
“It was Ollie.” I winced as I realized I’d used his nickname. “I mean, Oliver. He was the one that saved me.”
“Oliver?” Fifi’s eyes widened. “I’ve noticed something going on between the two of you. Is it getting serious?”
“You noticed something?” I scooted closer to her. “What do you mean?”
“He’s always looking at you. He’ll make a joke and then he looks over at you to see if you laugh. When he walks into a room, he looks at everyone there until he sees you, then he just stops.” She shook her head. “I was feeling sorry for him actually, knowing that you won’t give him the time of day—you know—because of your rule.”
“Of course—because of my rule.” I closed my eyes and rested my chin on my knees.
“Unless you’re changing that?” Fifi nudged my ankle with her hand. “Maby? Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”
“The problem is, I can’t figure it out.” I opened my eyes again and sighed. “I have my rule for a reason, and even if I was to break it, Ollie is not the right person to break it for. He can’t wait to get back to England. He broke up with someone he thought he was in love with and he doesn’t even know what he wants.”
“You mean, you’re thinking about it?” She smiled. “Oh wow, I’ve been waiting for this moment.”
“This moment when I screw everything up?” I frowned.
“This moment when your heart opens up.” She took my hand and squeezed it. “Falling in love—it’s not easy. It never is. But you can’t fight it. It only makes it harder.”
“I’m not falling in love.” I clenched my jaw.
“Okay, sure, you’re probably not. So, it should be easy enough for you to walk away from Oliver and not look back. Right?” She looked into my eyes.
“Yes, easy enough.” I forced a smile. “Thanks for the talk, Fi, but I think I’m going to take a nap. All the craziness at the stables wore me out.”
“Alright. But if you want to talk more, you know where I am.” She gave my hand a light pat. As she reached the door, she paused and looked back at me. “I know I’m not Jennifer, and I know it’s hard for you to open up to anyone else, but I’ll always have your back, you know—for anything you need.”
“Thanks, Fi.” I managed a small smile, but her words bounced right off me. Everyone said that. Everyone claimed they would always be my friend. But that wasn’t how the world worked. I let myself get too close to Jennifer and then she disappeared. I couldn’t go through that kind of pain again.
As my chest tightened at the thought, I realized it was a sensation similar to what I felt when I thought about not seeing Oliver again. I squeezed my eyes shut as I realized I had already let things go too far with Oliver. Was it even possible to turn back now?
As my heart raced, I allowed myself—just for a second—to imagine what it would be like to give in. What if I just let it happen? What if I broke my rule? What if I risked getting hurt again?
I imagined his arms around me, his lips nearing mine. I imagined the look in his eyes, the way he would smile at me. I imagined my fingertips gliding through his hair. Warmth that I’d never experienced before spread through my chest, easing the tension there. It spread throughout my body, until I felt as if I could float right up off the bed.
Oliver said that I couldn’t understand love because I’d never felt it. Had that changed?
Chapter 17
That evening, I decided to skip dinner. I needed time away from Oliver, away from the confusion he created in me. I needed time to think. But no matter how much quiet I had, no matter what pro and con lists I made in my mind, it all came back to chaos.
Underneath it all, I had to admit to one thing, I wanted Oliver. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted Aaron or any other boy I’d known. I wanted to be close to him, to know everything I could about him, and I certainly wanted to kiss him.
By the time Fifi returned to the room after dinner, I’d gone through every ounce of mental energy I had. Sprawled out on the sofa, I watched as she walked over to me.
“Hey, not hungry?” She crouched down in front of me.
“No, not tonight.” I rubbed a hand across my eyes.
“Oliver asked about you at dinner.” She frown
ed. “He was worried about you. Are you sure you didn’t get hurt today?”
“No, I’m fine.” I sat up and sighed. “I’m just a little lost, I guess.”
“A little scared?” Fi sat down beside me. “Maybe?”
“Maybe.” I tugged at the hem of my t-shirt. “I just want to hide.”
“Running away won’t solve anything.” She nudged my shoulder with her own. “I’m sure you’ve given me that advice before.”
“It’s easier to give than take.” I wiped my hands across my face and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how I ended up in this mess.”
“Maybe it’s not a mess.” She leaned close to me and lowered her voice. “He’s waiting for you in the courtyard.”
“What do you mean?” I met her eyes.
“He was worried about you. He asked me to check on you and said that if you wanted to see him, he’d be in the courtyard.” She raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you should go sort things out?”
“I’m not sure if there is a way to do that.”
“I’m sure there isn’t a way to do that from here.” She stood up and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go. No hiding out.”
“I can hide out if I want to.” I drew my hand back and glared at her.
“Sure, you can hide out if you want to. But you don’t want to, do you?” She put her hands on her hips as she looked at me. “The Maby I know would never let anyone or anything drive her into hiding.”
“Ugh, you’re so right.” I stood up and placed my hands on my hips as well. “This needs to end. One way or the other, it has to stop.”
“Good luck.” Fi gave me a tight hug. “Just listen to your heart, Maby, and you can’t go wrong.”
I bit my tongue as I hugged her back. I knew that she meant well, but her words sounded ridiculous to me. Of course I could go wrong by listening to my heart, because somehow my heart had lost its mind. I needed to fix that. If it took seeing Oliver—confronting him face to face—then that was what I would do.
Still in a t-shirt and sweat pants, I marched down the stairs to the common room. Through the windows, I could see him perched on one of the stone benches. He tipped his head back and looked up at the sky.
Worth the Wait: A Young Adult Sweet Romance (Oak Brook Academy Book 4) Page 7
