by Jessa York
While there were likely many things I needed help with, I doubted she was the woman for the job. “I don’t think so,” I answered back, confused at her question.
“Maybe you could stop staring at me then?” she replied.
“Staring at you? Ma’am, you’re standing in front of me. It’s going to be difficult not to look at you.” It was infantile and possibly extremely stupid to start a fight with her, but the woman was pushing my buttons something fierce.
“Excuse me? Did you just call me ma’am? You’re older than me. Who are you to call me that?” she said, chin and nose lifted high.
First of all, Queeny had a good five years on me, easy. Secondly, since when did ma’am become a bad word?
“What’s the problem here, ladies?” the teacher said in a singsong voice. God help us.
“Ava’s new friend is being rather rude,” Queeny said, eyebrows raised, pretending to adjust her awful hair. Now, I had friends who got extensions, nice extensions. Hers were the cheap, bargain basement ones. Trust me, they looked terrible and frayed.
“Oh, we can’t have that now, can we? Let’s all get along please, ladies,” Miss Perky said with a smile and a hint of warning. Luckily, Ava didn’t give two shits about what was going on around her. All she saw were huge trampolines in the distance.
Queeny gave me one last humpf before turning back around. Good grief. The woman needed to remove the stick that appeared to be permanently stuck up her ass.
Fortunately, we managed to get to the trampoline section without another incident. “Tough crowd. I see the welcoming committee found you,” a shorter woman with mousy brown hair and a lisp said to me. Her box store yoga pants were not what fashion dictated, and she didn’t have a lick of makeup on her face. Taking an educated guess, she didn’t belong to the Bitch Crew.
“Yes, they found me, targeted me, and have all but stolen my lunch money,” I replied, and she laughed. It sounded more like a foghorn than an actual laugh, but still cute.
“I know. I do my best to travel under the radar, but they still find me. Once I left high school, I thought this part of life would be over,” she said, and I suddenly felt a kinship for her. Not that I was bullied in school or anything, but I stuck up for my share of kids. “I’m Sarah, by the way.” She stuck out her small hand.
“Harper,” I said and shook her hand. “Which kid is yours?” I asked, attempting to make conversation.
“The little guy with the blue sweats.” She pointed to her clone. “You brought Ava today?”
“She’s my boyfriend’s daughter. He had to work, and her mom couldn’t make it today, so I was lucky enough to get to fill in.”
“Ha, lucky. Right,” she said, nodding like a horse. “These classes fill up so quickly, and this was the only spot they had left. He’s three, and I wanted him to get out and meet new kids. But after the first class, I had my doubts. Maybe I should have saved the money and just taken him to the park.”
In my mind, that sounded like a super idea, but I wasn’t a mom. “You’d get to sleep in on a Sunday morning, too,” I said and poked her arm.
“Ha, ha, ha.” She foghorned back. “You’re funny. That kid has me up every morning at five.” With a forlorn face, she pointed to her kid again.
“Are you kidding me? What time does he go to bed?”
“As early as possible,” she said, and we both chuckled. “He’s out to kill me. I’m sure of it. No matter what time I put him to bed, he’s still up before the sun.” That would suck the big one.
“Ava’s a great sleeper. It’s her dad who gets up at the ass-crack of dawn,” I told her. Sarah snorted and hit me a bit too hard on the shoulder.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I heard a loud roar behind me. It was Brooke, all dressed up like a lady who lunched. What was she doing here? And why was she mad?
“Uh, Jack asked me to take Ava to her gym class,” I said and straightened my backbone because I’d done nothing wrong here.
“Uh, why exactly?” she mimicked me like a petulant eight year old girl. “Jack was supposed to take her. He promised me.”
“He had to go into work, so I offered to take her. She was so excited about going, I didn’t want her to miss out.” And that was the truth. She woke up this morning, and the first thing she did was start cheering and yelling about how it was gym day.
“This is his responsibility, not his girl of the week.”
“I’ve been his girl of the week for a long time now, so I guess he disagrees with you,” I shot back.
“She’s my daughter,” Brooke yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.
“You’re making a scene. People are staring,” I whispered loudly and looked around the gym to see everyone had indeed stopped to watch The Brooke Show.
“Do you think I care who hears me? You can leave now. I’m here.” Calming breaths didn’t work. Trust me, I’d taken a few dozen since Brooke arrived. She was on super-bitch mode and wasn’t going to back down anytime soon. This was up to me.
“Okay, let me go say goodbye to Ava,” I said, giving in just like Jack did. Who was I, though? Not her mother or father. There was nothing I could do.
“Nooooooo, I wan-you-to-staaaaaay,” Ava screeched at the highest decibel level possible while clutching my leg. Ouch.
“Your mommy is here now, honey. She can look after you,” I said and patted her head, attempting to calm the distraught kiddo down. It wasn’t working. Ava fussed more and more until she was purple in the face. If Brooke wasn’t here, I’d have carried her out and put an end to her display. On second thought, maybe I should have carried Brooke out of here.
“Are we okay over here?” Perky Teacher asked, unblinking, un-breathing, un-freaking-real. Anyone with eyes and ears could see nobody over here was okay.
“Ava’s just upset because her friend has to leave,” Brooke said with narrowed eyes on me.
“I see. Well, could Ava’s friend please stay for the next ten minutes of class? This is all unbelievably disruptive for our other friends,” Perky Teacher said.
We wouldn’t want our friends to get upset. “I can stay if Mommy says it’s all right,” I told Perky, completely avoiding eye contact with Brooke.
“Fine. Stay,” she spat, looking severely pissed off. Perky smiled a rather panicked smile and pranced away to the front of the line where the kids were waiting to jump on the trampolines and then land in the foam pit. I had to admit, that looked super fun.
Fun for the kids. We adults were warned that the foam pit was not for us. Something about, “You’ll get stuck in there forever…” After that, I stopped listening. No part of me wanted to be stuck forever in a kids’ gym, so I vowed to refrain from jumping in the cesspool of foam filth. Even though it looked like a ton of fun.
The kids glided right across the blue and red bricks so easily that part of my brain doubted the words of warning. Maybe they didn’t want the adults to have fun?
“She’s not looking. You can leave now,” Brooke spouted off again. My head was pounding, and if she said one more thing…
“I’m not leaving. The teacher specifically asked me to stay,” I reminded her and ground my teeth so hard I thought for sure I’d break something.
“Like she cares. Just go. It’s not like you really want to be here anyway. I know you’re only here to impress Jack. And from one girl to another? Nothing works. You will try and try and try everything to get that man’s attention, and it still won’t work.
“You know what he cares about? His businesses. His cars. His penthouse. That’s it. He will never give a rat’s ass about a girl who lives in the hood. How can you be so stupid not to see that?” She blasted the insults at me like a machine gun. My heart beat a dangerous rhythm, and my head was ready to explode.
“First, I love Ava.” I placed my hand on my chest. “And if she wants me to sit and watch paint dry, I’ll do it if it makes her happy. Secondly, Jack loves me, and he cares about a lot more than all that superficial crap y
ou seem to be so into,” I shot back, my eyes focused first on her hair, then her breasts. Oops.
“You little bitch,” she yelled and then pushed me. Nobody in my whole life had ever struck out at me like that, so I admit, I was unprepared. My legs took a few steps back, and I went, down, down…ahhh, down. I had the softest landing ever. Phew.
My happiness was short-lived when I looked around and saw the very foam bricks we had been cautioned about surrounded me. Shit. Don’t panic. Everyone knew that once you thought or heard those words, you immediately began to panic.
If I thought I felt claustrophobic in those tunnels last week, I was mistaken. Each move I made had me sinking deeper and deeper into the cushiony latex rubber abyss. Oh God, I was going to die in a foam pit. Certain this was the end, I attempted to swim upward, only winding up even further down. I whimpered. Death was surely imminent. My sweaty palms clawed for deliverance to no avail. I didn’t even have a will drawn up.
Dad was always instructing me on the importance of writing one, but I never got around to it. And now I was about to take my last breath, and who the hell knew where my high school graduation ring was going to end up?
“Why are you mean girls so mean?” I heard Sarah shout from somewhere out in the free world. From down here, I couldn’t see anything, but I heard Brooke’s voice yell. Then something careened to my right and gasped.
“Shit,” Brooke said as foam blocks flew all over.
“Stop moving. You only get more stuck, trust me,” I imparted my words of wisdom while standing stock-still. I knew since I’d been down here sixty seconds longer than she had.
“How are we supposed to get out then, genius?” she snapped back.
“Fine, sink to the bottom and die. See if I care. I was only trying to help,” I said, my voice hitching while I broke out into a cold sweat.
More blocks flew, and soon I could see Brooke’s face. “Are you wigging out?” she asked and looked me over. “It’s just a foam pit. We’ll get out eventually,” she said in a calming voice that confused the hell out of me. Ten seconds ago, she was ready to kill me, and now she was handing out words of encouragement? Oh God, we were going to die. Otherwise she wouldn’t be so remorseful.
“I tried to get out, and I can’t,” I said and moved my head around searching for what, I didn’t know. “Every time I move, it’s like quicksand,” I cried, and tears that I didn’t want to shed fell down my face while Brooke was in full view. Dammit. “It’s even worse than that stupid tunnel place last week. Those tunnels are way too small.” I fought for air that wasn’t there.
“Are you claustrophobic?” she asked, her head jerked to the side, still assessing me.
“I guess so?” I puffed, feeling my lungs shut down.
“My sister is, too. She even freaks out getting into small cars.” She laughed, but I didn’t think anything was funny. At all.
“That’s so hilarious,” I said, sniffing like a fool, too scared to wipe my tears away because that would mean having to move my arm.
“You’re going to be fine,” she repeated in a gentle tone and leaned in closer to me. “We’ll find a way out. You just need to calm down. Take some deep breaths with me. Close your eyes first,” she said with a sweet smile on her face. Oh God. Maybe I was already dead? I had to be hallucinating. “Harper, look at me.” I obeyed, because really, what else did I have to do?
“Good. Now I’m telling you that you’re going to be fine. Close your eyes.”
“Why? Will that make it easier for you to smother me?”
She giggled, and my brain stopped worrying for a second. I’d never heard Brooke laugh before. It was a nice laugh, too. If I weren’t about to take my last breath on this Earth, I’d like to hear more of that sound.
“Nobody is smothering anyone. Now, close your eyes and breathe with me.” She closed her eyes and grabbed my hands in hers. I did what she said. Three minutes ago, if you had asked me if I’d ever want to hold Brooke’s hands, I would have replied with a hysterical laugh. But now her soft hands gripping mine seemed to ground me and stop my inner self from flailing. “Breathe in for the count of five—one, two, three, four, five,” she counted and then made me exhale for the same count. We did this over and over again until my hands and feet finally stopped tingling.
“Friends?” a voice that sounded like Perky’s called down to us from somewhere in the real world. “Are you stuck?” How astute of her.
“If you could coach us on the easiest way to get out of here, we’ll manage,” Brooke spoke for us.
“I’ll go get Merv. Just stay there,” Perky said, and then I actually laughed. What else were we going to do?
“She’s not the brightest bulb, but the kids really like her. That voice makes me want to bang my head on a wall, though. How can anyone be that happy all the time?” Brooke said, smirking at me.
“Ava talks about gym class all the time. Last week she took all the cushions off the couch and was bouncing around, landing on them. Jack had a hyper spaz attack when he walked in and saw her,” I told her, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Ha-ha, I bet he loved that. You’re good for him, you know? He’s too uptight. I always imagined him with some prissy trust fund baby. But after watching the change in him since you guys have been together, I see what a good match you are.”
It may have been the oxygen deprivation or how close we were to death, but I started to cry again at her words. “I thought you hated me? You’ve been such a raging bitch every time I see you,” I sputtered at her words.
“It’s my job to give you a hard time. If I don’t look out for Ava and Jack, who will?” she said as she squeezed my hands. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch. Really. Jack has never seriously dated anyone since we broke up, and I think seeing him so happy made me go a bit psycho.”
“A bit?”
“Shut up,” she said and pushed my arm playfully. “More than a bit. Ava comes home with all these stories about what you do together. I guess I got jealous.” Her eyes filled with tears. “He treats you with such love and respect. Christ, how many times I wished he’d pay attention to me like he does to you.” She shook her head. “But in the end, I had to accept that he’d never feel that way about me. No matter how much I tried.” A graceful hand wiped away her tears.
“I really do love her. Ava, I mean. She’s such a great kid,” I sobbed and sniffed freely like the hot mess I was.
“She loves you, too,” Brooke said, wiping more tears from her eyes, trying her best not to smudge her heavy eyeliner. “It hurt to know I was being replaced, and when I feel cornered…well, watch out.”
Now we were both soggy, bawled-up disasters. “I’m not replacing you. Are you crazy? Ava loves you more than any of us.”
“It just…well, it feels like you suddenly stepped up to be her new mom. Jack has been asking for more time with her, and it freaked me out a bit.”
“You are Ava’s mom.” I gripped her hands even harder. “But if you’ll let me, I’d love nothing more than to help you out.”
“I think I’d like that,” she whispered and reached out and hugged me close.
Eventually, Merv came to save the day, and we managed to kick and roll ourselves out of the pit of forgiveness.
28
Jack
“This was one of our first trips to Disneyland,” my father said as he pointed to the photo album. Harper was completely enraptured with him. He was a charming son-of-a-bitch, but I wished she didn’t fall for his tricks so easily.
They’d continued with their daily lunches the last few weeks, under my supervision, of course. I expected Dad to have a temper tantrum and call the whole thing off, but no such luck. Every fucking day, I took off from work to come home and make lunch and listen to his mindless drivel.
We never spoke. Correction, I never so much as nodded when he tried to engage me. The game he played was as old as the hills, and I wasn’t falling for his act.
“Where’s Jack?” Harper said, and I
sighed and shook my fucking head. Here it came.
Dad laughed his ass off as he said, “Jack was terrified of mascots. The kid would not stop screaming, so Elaine and I took turns staying in the hotel with him.”
Mascots were fucking creepy as hell. Whose bright idea was it to make some hideous costume and stuff a human inside? It’s just unnatural.
Harper joined him in laughing her ass off as well. Jesus. “Why were you so scared, Jack?” she asked, wiping under her eyes. Each time my father was here, she would try to get me talking. Most times, I’d just give her a one word answer and go to the bedroom to finish my lunch.
“Are you kidding me? I think the real question should be why aren’t more people frightened?” I said, and she giggled and took another bite of the three cheese pasta.
“It was fine. His sister and brother teased him, but in a loving way, right, Jack?” John directed his question to me. I was a dick, but I also didn’t want to ruin Harper’s fun.
“If you call them threatening to leave me with Santa every time we went to the mall in December, loving,” I muttered, and Harper howled and doubled over.
“Oh my God, they were terrible. That’s so mean,” she said but continued laughing. My eyes narrowed playfully at her, but I still grinned.
“I forgot about that. They were little jerks sometimes,” Dad said, grabbing another piece of garlic bread. “Man, I’ve missed your cooking, Son. Your mother made some great meals, but yours were always on a completely different level.” He winked at me. What the fuck? Did he just compliment me? That makes exactly once that he’s ever said one positive thing about my food. I was too shocked to answer, so I stood there, staring at the stranger on my couch.
My couch? Harper’s couch, but I’d be replacing it soon enough.
The video continued to run on Dad’s laptop. I’d never seen this particular video before, and I was ashamed at how captivated I was watching young Blake and Iris run around and get on the different rides. My mind kept telling me to leave, but my heart ruled on this current battle.
