I shook my head, whimpering, fingers clenching with the desperate need to reach her side.
But she nodded again. Be still, my beast. I could have sworn I almost heard her say that to me. The voice resonated through me like a gentle wave. I was flooded through with peace. With her peace.
And I went suddenly still.
I shuddered out one long breath and stopped. And the walls stopped shaking with me.
Themis thinned her lips, but I could almost feel the relief from all of them prickle upon my skin. I wasn’t sure if Themis enjoyed punishing us. All I knew was she’d be forced to, whether she agreed with the punishment or not.
I stared at the image of the dove that’d been seared upon Dite’s skin and swallowed hard.
She smiled softly, an encouragement. I am well. Be at ease.
My lashes fluttered, and I briefly closed my eyes, quivering all over.
“And so we begin again,” Themis intoned gravelly. The colors blurred. The room faded.
And when I looked up, I saw us. She was holding me, kissing me, with wild abandon upon her bed.
The bed I’d never dared share with her in this world.
In that one, she lay in the center of the plush furs, laughing as I tickled her navel with my tongue.
“Mm, like the sweetest of wines,” he murmured gravelly, and I snorted. What a ridiculous line.
But she sighed, wrapping one of her sexy, long legs around my waist as she moved and writhed on me.
Gods, she was lovely. All dewy and pink, flushed through with excitement and covered in the sweat of us.
I swallowed hard.
Wishing I could reach inside that memory and live in it. Wishing I knew what it was actually like to be held by that woman in truth. I’d had sex with Aphrodite a few times, but there’d always been the sense that she’d wanted me off her as soon as possible. As if it was a task, a chore she was forced to endure. Crumbs she was forced to give me in order to keep me loyal to her. But this Aphrodite didn’t look as if she wished to be anyplace else but in his arms. In their bed.
I was so good at disguising my emotions, but right now I felt the small muscles in my face trembling, and I couldn’t seem to catch a proper breath. To know that kind of love, I could not imagine it.
“Hephy,” she said with a hint of coquettishness to it, and I grinned, sensing she’d be up to no good. But not in the way the other Aphrodite had been with me… more like a plea from someone truly in love trying to win the affections of her partner through seduction. And that was a game I’d be more than happy to play along with.
I leaned forward on my toes.
“Hm,” he said, leaning upon his elbow as he smiled down at her tenderly. A fire blazed in the massive hearth behind their bed. His large fingers traced languid lines upon her smooth golden flesh, and I watched in envy as goosepimples raised upon her pretty skin. She’d loved his touch.
It seemed incredible to me that she could. But it was obvious that she did. She purred like a contented kitten with a bowl of warm cream in front of her. The pit of my stomach tingled, and my hands curled into tight fists by my thighs. The image of her blond hair trailing upon the marble floor with silks and furs draping provocatively upon her perfectly formed body would now and forevermore be permanently sealed upon my memory banks. Longing so profound cut through me like a sharpened blade, and I softly grunted as I felt my body stir.
Primordial gods of the above and below, she was haunting.
“Come with me to the ball,” she said silkily.
He paused in his tracing of her body, and the ease of moments earlier was gone. His face grew stern, no longer so free or light as it had just been. “Dite, no. You know I cannot stand the looks and jeers from the others. We tried this once before. It didn’t go well.”
“Once, Hephy, you’re right. Obviously, it didn’t go well. They were seeing us together for the first time. I’m sure they just needed time to assimilate the idea of us. But”—she shrugged—“I don’t care, and neither should you.”
“Well, I do,” he growled.
I frowned. He was a fool if he really meant to send her off without him. Couldn’t he see how badly she wanted him there? Her eyes were wide and her cheeks flushed. This wasn’t artifice—it was truth. Her chest heaved with breath as she shook her pretty head.
“Beast, why!” She sat up, hugging her hair to her body almost like a shield and staring at him in obvious vexation. “Why must I always go to these bloody spectacles all by myself. I have a mate. I’d like the world to know it.”
He rolled his eyes. “Aphrodite, don’t. We’ve talked about this before.”
“No, you’ve talked at me! I never agreed to this! Seventy years we’ve been together, beast. Seventy!” She shoved seven fingers into his face. “Longer than I’ve been with anyone ever. And still I worship you. Still I hunger for your touch. Crave your hands upon my body. Haven’t I earned your faith by now? Surely you know that I wish to be with you and only you.”
He growled. “Is that why you had someone else in your bed last night?”
I winced, knowing that had been a stupid thing to say the second he’d said it.
Her jaw dropped, and her words suddenly cut off. All I could hear was their breathing, and I wanted to rip his tongue out for saying so. Aphrodite was who she was. How could he not have understood that? That damn fool had had the one woman I’d have killed to belong to. He’d had her, and he’d brought her to tears. I could see the sheen of pain in her eyes, and it broke my heart into a thousand shards. I palmed my chest, rubbing at its ache.
“Hephaestus, how… how could you?” she asked, shocked and clearly upset by his words.
He frowned and sat up, knocking the sheet down around his hips as he wrapped his arms around his legs. “Sorry,” he said gruffly, still unable to look at her.
I growled. If I’d had that jackass in front of me right now I’d have smashed his face in for being such a pathetic loser.
But he did not sound sorry. He sounded like a petulant child, and I loathed him. He had no idea what he had. I did, because I’d been saddled with a version of her that had been the exact opposite of everything that beautiful woman on his bed was. That Hephaestus could not appreciate her because he’d only ever gotten the very best parts of her. It was so damn easy to neglect someone when all they ever did was want your love in return. And I hated him for that.
She blinked.
Her face changed instantly from heartbreak, to fury, and then back to heartbreak again before landing somewhere between the two.
“You know who I am,” she said simply.
I nodded along with her statement. Truth was truth.
“Godsdammit, Aphrodite, of course I know who you are. I’m just… I’m…” He blew out a heavy breath, shoving his fingers through his hair. Looking stern and gruff and so terribly hideous compared to her soft beauty. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me lately.”
Still looking grumpy but also compassionate, she tugged on his massive shoulders. Running her fingers through his long hair as she slowly gathered the strands together into a knot upon his head.
I quivered, almost able to feel the glide of those silky beloved fingers scraping along my scalp. But for me it would only ever be fantasy, an unattainable dream. I’d destroyed any possibility of her and I ever seeing eye to eye again. I swallowed the despair in my throat, stomach aching fiercely.
“Gods above, it would be my misfortune to have fallen in love with such a grizzly bear,” she whispered huskily before planting a tender kiss upon his groomed cheek.
He snorted, a ghost of a grin feathering upon his lips as he shook his head and looked over his shoulder at her, love clearly burning in his eyes.
“Little ass,” he murmured tenderly as he cupped her fragile and delicate cheek into his meaty palm. He glanced down at her lips, his intentions obvious.
But she grabbed his big wrist, her small fingers unable to even come c
lose to encircling it. “Look at my eyes, beast.”
And he did. Mouth twisted up, heart in his eyes. I could relate. I always felt as if I could hide nothing from Aphrodite, no matter how much I often wanted to. I could hide from the rest of the world, but with her, I’d never been any good at deceit.
Her eyes were full of tenderness and even sadness. A tiny smile lingered upon her rosebud lips, but the light of it didn’t reach her eyes. Aphrodite was heavy hearted and even from here, I could feel her pain. I shuddered.
“I slept with that female last night because I had to see something.”
He lifted his brows, and his face slowly transformed, from pain to annoyance and then to acceptance of a sort. “Yes, wonderful. Please don’t share. I don’t need to know this. You’re right. You are who you are. And I am who I am, and maybe it’s just best if we don’t—”
“Gods, you’re annoying,” she snipped then kissed him, silencing his words with her tongue and body.
I watched them make love, because that was surely what this was. It was tender. Soft. Slow. He was gentle with her, and she with her expert hands played him masterfully. Aphrodite took the dominant position over him, worshipping him with her tongue and mouth, pulling upon his nipples tenderly with her teeth as she reached between their bodies and lovingly guided his cock into her warm, wet sheath.
And when he grunted as he slid deep into heaven, my whole body trembled. Jerked as I imagined it was not his cock but my own breaching the warmth of absolution. Blood raged through my veins, headed south between my legs. Made me feel full and heavy.
And I didn’t want to watch them anymore. I wanted to see her. I looked over toward my Aphrodite, the one sharing space with me now.
She was not looking at the scene. Instead, she stared at the little dove in her hand, a soft, sad little look upon her face, and my heart squeezed. She was so powerful. Beautiful. And also lost.
I could see it now. The way her fingers played so tenderly upon the head of that mechanized bird. The other Aphrodite had only ever called my creations quaint, and only if she’d been of a mind to be kind.
But this one seemed to delight in my works, found wonder in them. I suspected that she was not looking at the scene of tender lovemaking not because she was repulsed by it, but rather, because the images elicited a powerful emotion of longing in her. This Aphrodite had lost her mate. Her one true love. That kind of loss was a nightmare that haunted the waking and dreaming hours. Relentless and cruel in its torments.
Her skin gleamed like moon pearl, but she didn’t gleam as she often did. She was pale and unwell. Always pretty but soul sick. Just as I was. When I looked at the faces of the others around us, some of them were gazing upon the sex scene with scorn and also longing, others were openly lustful, some even moving their hands over the hardness between their thighs. A few were looking down upon her where she sat on the throne, curiosity and the ever present desire to carnally know her stamped upon their handsome faces. But I knew not a one of them truly cared for the precious soul that burned within her tempting body.
Then I watched my brother. His face was stern. There was no desire or sexual fire burning in his eyes. But there was another emotion being played out. I was not as adept at knowing his mind as I was at knowing hers. All I knew was, he was very deeply troubled by what he was learning.
He looked up and locked eyes with me. I frowned and shook my head, not even sure what that might mean.
“Oh, my darling boy,” I heard the image of her croon, and I was helpless to her thrall, even knowing she did not speak those words to me.
It was all over, and she was playing with his hair, as seemed to be one of her favorite things to do. “I had to see, Hephy. Had to try and figure out what’s going on with me.”
He frowned, looking down at her with obvious tenderness. “What’s happened to you, Dite? Are you ill?”
“No. No,” she said more quietly and shook her head. “But I have been thinking a lot lately. I’m alone so often now. You’re always busy at the forge, and I understand that. I do.”
He opened his mouth, no doubt to protest, but she planted her palms upon his chest and gently squeezed, giving him a soft smile, and he grew silent.
“But,” she pressed on, “I am a jealous goddess, though I am loath to admit it. I’ve never known jealousy before. I do not know how to handle this new and terrifying feeling that’s come over me. And… and lately, I’ve found my eye wandering.”
She whispered the last softly, as though she was ashamed, and my heart squeezed in my chest. A sense of panic and fear gripped me tight.
Had she left me in that world too? He almost appeared to stop breathing, and I was pretty sure my reaction had been the same as his.
“What?” He sat up on his elbow and looked down at her with pupils large and dilated, the whites of his eyes nearly obliterating the lightning within. “Do you not want—”
“Oh no,” she was quick to assert, “I will never not want you. You must believe that, my forger. But I am telling you that I’m lonely. And I’d hoped that the female would take the edge off, but the truth is…” She blew out a deep breath as her words trailed off, and then she frowned as she glanced over at the white pillow that was rumpled with the imprint of his head.
My heart squeezed as if it were gripped in a vise. My stomach hurt. My body ached all over. Was this it, then?
The moment that she realized I was not worthy of her? I kept trying to remind myself that it was not to me that she’d said those words to, but more and more, I felt myself becoming that man for her. The one that she’d so obviously loved. It was getting harder to separate myself from the one who’d had the privilege of lying beside her. My pulse echoed rapidly in my ears.
He shook his head. “Speak freely, Aphrodite. You are safe with me.”
Tears shone in her brilliant blue eyes as she looked up at him. “Ares has been so kind and… and he—”
I closed my eyes. She had not been mine, not really, but her words pricked at my soul all the same. I remembered the promise she’d made him. That she would never force the brothers to choose.
And yet I knew when I got deep into my creations, I was a man possessed, lost to the rhythms of the making. But was it really possible that he, I, could have neglected such an exquisite creature simply to please a man who’d never cared a damn for me?
I knew the answer to that question before I even finished thinking it. Because yes, I would have. Even now, in this time, I’d often taken Zeus’s side over hers.
I looked up at the male I’d always wanted to call me as his own, but he would not look at me. Though I knew he felt my stare, because of the way his shoulders suddenly stiffened, he refused me, the same as always.
He’d never wanted me. Never cared for me.
But she had.
And yet somehow, dumbass that I clearly was, I’d still chosen him.
I groaned, dropping my head into my hands, and shook my head. The Aphrodite of my time and the other one, the perfect one, they couldn’t be more different. Just because we came from the same worlds didn’t mean we’d shared the same environments, or clearly even the same thoughts or beliefs.
If she’d ever give me another chance, would I be the same too, or was it possible that I could also be different? Was it possible that I could learn from the mistakes he’d made? Was any of that possible?
Fire blazed through the pit of my stomach with those questions. Would I have chosen Zeus if my version of Aphrodite had loved me as deeply as the other version had so clearly loved her Hephaestus? I’d like to think not. Like to believe that I was different too. Possibly even better. But I wasn’t sure I’d ever be given the chance again to prove it, because in the end, I’d acted no differently when I’d refused to listen to her and had cast her aside.
“Then I free you of your oath, Aphrodite,” he said, jaw clenched tight, dark clouds spreading through his eyes.
Fucking pansy-ass loser. The thought exploded in my mind,
and I hated him with every ounce of my being. Especially when he slipped on his legs and walked out of that room, headed back, no doubt to his damn forge, never once bothering to look back at her. Leaving her alone to struggle with the pain those words must have inflected.
He’d not chosen her. Yet again. And she lay there on the bed, alone and looking defeated. I would not blame her for stepping out on him. He’d all but handed her off to his brother to do just that. I ground my molars. How could he have left her in question of his love, his desire for her?
Didn’t he understand that a rose could only thrive if tended to? If cared for? Roses were sturdy, but they were also unbelievably fragile blooms. The slightest damage to them could ruin them forever.
The colors shifted, the scene reformed, and she was at the ball. Dressed from naked head to bare foot toe in gold body paint. Beautiful, she was. A wild, exotic bird that had come out to play. And everyone looked at her with desire and naked lust in their eyes. But unlike my Aphrodite, she didn’t seem to even be aware of it. There was turmoil on her face and pain glittering in her diamond blue eyes.
She stood by the doorway, looking as though she wanted to flee. Clearly unsure why she’d even bothered to come in the first place. I leaned up on the balls of my feet and reached for the image, the need to comfort her so strong that I forgot myself. Forgot to hide what I was feeling, forgot to pretend to the glittering throng that I didn’t care about anyone or anything.
My fingers came so close to her beautiful face, but it was just a memory. Nothing but a dream. I could not touch her. Not now. Not ever. I curled my fingers in tight and grabbed my aching chest. And I stared at that image, seeing all the gods and goddesses I so despised having fun without me there. None of them missing me. None of them wanting me at all. Save for one. The very best one of all.
I did not much like the other me, and yet I couldn’t help but hope that he’d show up. That he’d show her just how much she meant to him, that he would take that pain from her eyes. That his pride and ego would take a backseat to her needs and desire. That for once he’d leave her in no question that he’d chosen her, just as she’d so proudly chosen him.
The Forge King Page 18
