by Kit Morgan
She watched him wolf down his lunch across her small table. Wylie and Katie were playing next to the bed, waiting. They’d already eaten, and as soon as Colson finished, they were all going out to find a Christmas tree. “Have you had enough?”
Colson sat back in his chair and patted his stomach. “More than enough, thank you.” He straightened, folded his arms on the table and leaned toward her. “I’m going to fix the smokehouse – it looks like something keeps getting in there.”
“Probably the fox that killed my chickens. Thank you for fixing the coop, by the way –”
“You’re welcome.”
“– but you don’t have to fix the smokehouse.”
“Nonsense – I’ll take care of it. Besides, you’ll need it. Wylie and I are going hunting if his father allows it.”
Wylie jumped to his feet. “We are? Yeehaw!”
Colson’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “Have you hunted before?”
“Sure, with my pa. And he says I’m a good tracker. Can he go too?”
“We’ll ask him.”
“Ask?” Merry said. “Are you planning on paying a visit to the Jones Ranch?”
“Yes, after we get the tree.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
She tried to tamp her worry down. “Well … this time of year they usually have all sorts of company.”
“Mrs. Morgan and Mrs. Tisdale and some other ladies are at the big house today for tea,” Katie volunteered. “I helped bake the cookies!”
“That’s wonderful, sweetie,” Colson said. “I bet they’re some of the best cookies in the world.”
Katie beamed. Merry didn’t. “Colson, what if they’re still there when you …”
“Pay them a visit? Are you worried they’ll discover where I’m staying?”
“Well … yes.”
“Don’t worry.” He gazed out the window. “I’ll be gone soon.”
Her heart sunk straight into her toes, as it always did when he said something like that. “But you’ve been here a couple of weeks already.”
“Yes, and save one day, so have Wylie and Katie.”
“I know, but …”
“Merry,” he said tenderly. “Who knows how many people already know? I’d wager not many.”
“How do you know?” she said tightly. “The whole town could know.”
He smiled at her. “And yet no one has come to visit you?”
She hadn’t thought of that. He was right – people would be curious. Someone would’ve come up with an excuse to pay her a visit. “I see.”
He nodded. “If Doc Rawlings or the Joneses or Whites had told anyone I was here, you’d know.”
Her eyes met his. “But if you show up at the ranch today while Mrs. Morgan is there …”
“I’m working for you, aren’t I?”
“But I’m not paying …”
“You already did.”
Merry stared at the kids, who were doing the lawn-tennis thing again, then at him. He was right about that too. She’d taken care of him, and he was only doing what was right in return. “Oh.”
He smiled. “You’re a worrying little thing. But there’s no need. I’ll be out of here before you know it.”
“No!” Wylie and Katie said at once, jumped to their feet and ran across the cabin to him. “You can’t leave!” Wylie cried.
“We don’t want you to!” Katie added, her eyes misting with tears.
“Children,” Merry said as she got up and went around the table. She put an arm around each of them. “Mr. Hunter has to be going. He has his own business to attend to.”
“What business?” Wylie demanded, his jaw tight.
Merry shrugged and looked at Colson helplessly.
“Business,” he said with a shrug.
“But where will you go?” Katie asked, tears spilling onto her cheeks.
Now it was his turn to look helpless. “I don’t know.”
* * *
He shouldn’t have said that. It bordered on cowardice. But doggone it, it was true. He didn’t know – and frankly didn’t want to think about it.
Merry began to gather up the lunch dishes, her face unreadable. What was she thinking? Did she think he was a coward, a man who didn’t know his own mind? Worse, did she think he was trying to worm his way into staying so he’d have a warm place to sleep and food in his belly, regardless of what people might think about her having a stranger under her roof?
Because eventually folks would find out – they always did. He was figuring that by then he’d be long gone and the Jones and Whites would keep the gossip at bay. Doc Rawlings, from the sounds of it, could also be counted on – but he’d told Merry two weeks of bed rest, and he was in his third. He’d have to leave soon.
There was no excuse to stay other than Merry’s list of chores, and he’d whipped through those tasks this week save for a little fence-mending. Christmas was only three days away. There was little left other than fix the smokehouse and hunt some meat to put in it for the long winter ahead. Still, how was she going to survive? Even if he stayed long enough to store up food for her, what would happen after he left? She had a cow and nothing else, for heaven’s sake!
He watched her stir something on the stove, already starting something for supper. Wylie and Katie still stood by his chair, waiting for him. “We’ll go in a little bit, all right?”
They nodded silently and returned to their toys on the floor.
Colson rubbed his face. He hated to give this up, but it was just a dream anyhow. He’d been a lot of things a woman like Merry Bright would want nothing to do with. No one here knew him, but someone who did could come along … no, he couldn’t take the risk. For all he knew, Clyde Rossmore had turned him down because he knew it … but then, word would’ve gotten around town that “Deadly Jim” Hunter was in town and men would be seeking him. If not to arrest him, then to challenge him
But none had. All he’d gotten was a bullet in the leg and a concussion. Better than a gun fight. If he hadn’t let those yahoos go, he never would’ve met Merry and the White children. He looked longingly at the little ones playing on the floor. Wylie loved his marbles. Katie loved her bugs, spiders in particular. He’d had to remove a couple for Merry’s sake after she found them. He smiled at the memories, then closed his eyes as if trying to forever store the picture of her face.
When he opened his eyes, he found her looking at him, a wistful look trimmed in sadness. What was she thinking? She looked the way he felt, as if by leaving her sanctuary his life would be … oh Lord, he thought. The word was “empty.” But that was the price he paid for the life he’d lived. She would never have a man like him. Ever.
“Come along, children,” Merry said, cutting into his thoughts. “We should see to the tree now.” Wylie and Katie jumped to their feet with yelps of pleasure and ran for their coats. Merry wrapped her shawl around her shoulders, then handed Colson his red coat.
As he took it, their hands brushed against each other, and a bolt of heat shot through him. He swallowed hard to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest. When had he fallen in love with her? It didn’t matter – he had, and it was all he could do not to take her in his arms and kiss her in front of God, the children and the wide world.
But she’d never return his love. What woman would want a man like him, who’d killed so many men? Never mind that for many of them he was under orders, or that others drew first, had challenged him. Never mind that he wished those days behind him. He’d erase them if he could, but they remained, a black stain upon his life that would never go away, even if no one ever recognized him again. Eventually she would ask. He would have to tell her.
No, better to leave things as they were. He stood, put on his coat and forced a smile. “Ready.”
She nodded, pulled her shawl tighter and ushered the children out the door. He wished he could get her a proper coat, but he had no money to speak of and no immediate means t
o get his hands on some. With a heavy sigh he followed, went to the barn to fetch the ax, then joined Merry and the children at the edge of the woods. Three days, that was all – he’d stay until Christmas, then leave to protect her reputation …
The thought nearly tore his heart out.
“Look at that one!” Katie pointed at a big tree as they entered the stand of pines.
“No, honey,” Colson said, amused. “That’s too big. But it would be great for firewood.”
“Oh,” Katie said, disappointed. She glanced around. “What about that one?”
It was much smaller, but still far too big for Merry’s cabin. “I’m afraid not. We need one about this tall.” He held his hand at his own eye level.
Katie glanced around some more. “Hmmm …”
“I found one!” Wylie called.
Colson looked around, but couldn’t see Merry and the boy. There was a small rise to his right – they must be on the other side of it, near the creek. He could hear the water. “Come on, Katie, let’s go see what your brother has for us.”
Katie ran up and over the rise before he could say anything more. He laughed at her eagerness and followed. Once he reached the top, he saw Merry and Wylie standing proudly next to a small hemlock, and his heart swelled at the sight. “Perfect.” With a determined step, he went down the rise to join them, all the while telling himself she could never be his.
The thought almost made Colson choke. But what could he do about it?
Eleven
The rest of the day was spent getting the tree up – Colson taught Wylie how to make a tree stand – and decorating it. The children had been gathering pine cones all week, painting them green, red and yellow with whatever paint they could find, mostly leftovers from Zadie Jones’ projects. Colson made holes in them with a hammer and nail, and the children and Merry pulled string through each and tied the ends together. Once complete, the four hung them on the tree.
And that’s when Katie burst into “Silent Night.”
Merry and Colson took one look at each other and had to turn away. In fact, Merry unable to stand it any longer, grabbed the bucket from under the dry sink and went outside to the pump, her heart in her throat. Tears dripped down her cheeks and into the snow. How could she let Colson Hunter affect her like this? What was happening? She never cried or felt this way when it came to George …
Of course not, her mind argued. You were never in love with George.
Merry shivered, and not from the cold. “Oh no,” she whispered. “No, no, no …”
“Merry?” Colson called from the porch.
She quickly wiped her eyes. “Yes?” She grabbed the pump handle and rapidly went to work. “I’m over here.”
She heard him come down the porch steps, followed by the crunch of snow as he made his way toward her. “Need any help?”
“No, I’m fine …”
“Stop it.”
“What?”
“You’re not fine. You haven’t been in a long time.”
“Colson, I …” She stopped her rapid pumping. “I know I might not be the smartest woman when it comes to farming, but I love it here. I’ll make it work!” She stopped. Oops. Where had that little outburst come from? “What did you mean, I haven’t been fine in a long time?”
He smiled. “I meant, you’re tired. Anyone can see it. I want to help you, and you keep pushing me away.” He sighed. “Just like you do with everyone else.”
She took a step back. “I do no such thing! I … I simply get things done myself. Besides, I let people help me.”
He arched an eyebrow at her, as if to say you’re not even convincing yourself. “I know you said the Whites brought food in compensation for their pig getting into your garden. But was it really? Or did they know if they brought it to you as charity, you wouldn’t have accepted it?”
Her eyes widened. She wanted to believe she could make it on her own, work her small piece of land, grow her own food, sell some of her produce and butter. Unfortunately, she hadn’t counted on foxes, wandering pigs, dwindling finances, the inability to fix things – or for that matter, a lazy, unknowledgeable, abusive, drunken husband who refused to do any of the work himself. George had put all his money into building the house – the barn had thankfully come with the property when he’d bought it.
She had to hang onto it – it was all she had left. And she wasn’t about to admit defeat, sell it and go … where? She had no idea. Which meant she had to do something differently, even at the expense of her pride. “Thank you,” she finally said.
“For what?” he asked with a chuckle. “Asking you a question? One you haven’t answered yet, I might add.”
She stared at the bucket. “Yes, for asking the question. And yes.” She sighed, as if releasing all the weight of the world. “Yes, I do need help.”
He smiled lopsidedly, and she noticed he had a dimple. “I was just asking about carrying the water, but at this point … I think you might mean more.”
“Oh heavens, yes!” She caught herself, giggled and glanced at the house. “We should go back inside. The children will be wondering where we are.”
He nodded. “Also, Wylie says we’ve been invited to Christmas with the Joneses.”
She took a deep breath, let it out. It felt like the first time in years. “That would be nice. But …”
“But I think we should accept. Besides, it will help protect your reputation.”
She cocked her head to one side, not quite following.
“We’ve only been alone one day, Merry – one day too many in a gossip’s mind. Spending the day with the Joneses will be better for you in the long run than if you spent it alone with me or by yourself.”
“By myself?”
“Yes. If you’re not going to spend Christmas with them, you won’t be spending it with me either. I won’t put you in that position.”
Her heart sank. She did want to spend Christmas with him alone, just the two of them, gossips be damned. In the back of her mind she’d been looking forward to it, selfish and perhaps scandalous as it was. She wanted Colson Hunter to herself for one more day. One last day, perhaps, given his words about leaving the day after Christmas.
She realized she was freezing and rubbed her arms with her hands.
He watched her as he picked up the bucket, put his free arm around her and drew her against his warm body. How could he not be cold too? “I need to get you inside. You’ll freeze out here.” He rubbed his hand over her arm for good measure.
Merry realized he was making her warmer – in more ways than one – and she didn’t want him letting go once they were back inside, even as she knew he had to. “Very well, then,” she said as they went up the porch steps. “Christmas with the Joneses it is.”
* * *
Christmas Day at the Jones Ranch …
Anson and Zadie’s house was the largest on the ranch. Jess was still building his and Lillie’s, so they were staying with Anson and Zadie, along with Luella, Jess’s sister, who’d married Jonas Cummings the foreman. It was a houseful, but as soon as Caleb and Viola headed west, Jonas and Luella would move into their cabin until they had to build a bigger house.
At the moment it was not just crowded, but contentious. “Wylie, give your sister back her doll,” Viola ordered her son.
“Aw, Ma,” the boy said. “But she took my new ball.”
Viola pinched the bridge of her nose. “Katie, give him back his ball.”
Katie frowned and tossed the ball at her brother. He caught it in one hand and tossed her doll back.
Viola blew out a breath. “I got used to not having them around, and now that I have all three, I feel like I’m getting broken into motherhood again.”
Merry laughed. “They were angels at my house.”
“They always are when they’re with someone else,” Luella replied. She glanced around. “Are the men back yet?”
“I didn’t realize there was such a population here,” Merry commented
as she watched Zadie and Lillie play with their babies. She glanced at the baby in her own arms – Viola was letting her hold little Hezekiah while she set the table. “He’s beautiful.”
“That’s because he’s sleeping,” Wylie said.
“Yeah, you should see him when he’s awake,” Katie added sourly.
“Children, don’t speak about your brother that way,” Viola scolded. “He’s just a baby. Crying is what babies do.”
“He sure does a lot of it,” Katie griped. She leaned toward Merry’s chair. “That’s why we liked staying at your house.”
Merry nodded with a silent “ohh.”
The front door opened and men filed into the house. Anson was the first to enter the parlor. “Is it suppertime yet?”
“Almost.” Zadie went to him, kissed him on the cheek and handed him Trent. “I’ll go get the potatoes ready.” Before he could say a word, she was off.
Anson shook his head and laughed. “Well, it’s just you and me, boy.”
Trent gurgled at him – and spit up.
Merry tried to hide a smile just as Colson entered with Jess. “That’s one mighty fine piece of horseflesh you got there, Mr. Hunter,” Jess commented “Is it Spanish? Where did you get him?”
“Andalusian, or so I’m told. And I hate to admit it, but I …” He glanced at Merry and winced. “… I won him in a poker game a few years ago.”
“He’s incredible,” Jonas commented as he too entered. “Special training, you said?”
“Yes, the man I won him from had him in a circus.”
“He gets on the ground to let you get on him!” Wylie said. “I’ve seen him do it!”
“So have I,” added Katie. “He’s a nice horse.”
