by Stacy-Deanne
Lisa laid the book on her lap. “Did what?”
“I kissed Winston.”
Lisa’s mouth dropped.
Dee paced. “I couldn’t help it. I was just looking at him and all the feelings I’ve been holding back just overwhelmed me and—”
“You kissed him?” Lisa squinted. “So what happened after you kissed him?”
“I ran out of the room! I was so embarrassed. Then it gets worse.”
Lisa scooted to the edge of the couch. “How?”
“Well, he came to me and told me he knew I was in love with him.” She shivered. “Then he gave me that...that speech.”
“What speech?”
“The speech when someone wants to let you down easy!” Dee threw her purse on the couch.
“Here I am feeling more embarrassed and humiliated than I’ve ever felt in my entire life, and he’s telling me that he only thinks of me as a friend.”
“He said that?” Lisa stood.
Dee put her hands on her hips. “I was so embarrassed. He was trying to be nice and kind but—”
“What exactly did he say?”
“He said that he thinks I’m gorgeous and fun but...”
Gorgeous and fun? He thinks she’s gorgeous and fun?
Lisa’s stomach cramped.
“Then he said that he thinks of me as a friend.” Dee sniffled. “And after that everything he said just didn’t even register.”
“Dee.” Lisa hugged her. “I’m so sorry.”
“Are you?” Dee pulled away from her. “Why are you sorry? He wants you and that’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Dee.” Lisa raised her hand. “Don’t start.”
“Don’t give me this false ass sympathy, Lisa!” She yanked her purse off the couch. “You want Winston and Jake and you don’t want me to have anyone!”
“That’s not true!”
“It is!” Dee shook her purse at her. “You don’t even want me to have Grayson. That’s why you tried to humiliate me when you found out I’d slept with him.”
“I wasn’t trying to humiliate you. I was just mad that you lied.”
“Look, I’m sick and tired of sitting by why you get everything.”
“Dee.”
“No!” She pointed. “You don’t deserve Jake or Winston! You got a great guy like Jake who’s willing to do anything for you yet you don’t appreciate that.”
“I love Jake very much.”
“But you want another man!” Dee stomped her foot. “The man that I love!”
“Dee, please.” Lisa rubbed her arm. “I love you. Don’t let Winston come between us. You’re a smart and beautiful woman. I could name a thousand guys at the station alone who’d want to be with you.”
“But not the one I want!” She shook her purse. “He only sees me as a friend and that’s never gonna change as long as you’re in the picture.”
“I can’t help it if Winston likes me.”
Dee scoffed. “You don’t have to encourage it either.”
“I don’t encourage him!”
“Bullshit.” Dee got in her face. “Did you sleep with him? I want the truth.”
“No! I love Jake.”
“When you say that...” Dee backed away. “Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”
She stomped toward the front door.
“Dee?” Lisa ran in behind her. “Wait!”
She slammed the door in Lisa’s face.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Lisa’s cell rang right after Dee stormed out. “What now?” She yanked it off the table without checking the ID. “Hello?” she snapped.
“Whoa,” Jake said. “You don’t sound like you’re doing too well.”
She sat on the couch. “Jake.”
God, you don’t know how much I needed to hear your voice right now. I wish your arms were around me, holding me so tight that you never plan to let go.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “I’ve been worried about you.”
“Things are a mess! Everyone at the station’s acting like teenagers, and Dee’s lost her damn mind!”
“What happened?”
“She came in here acting like a fool!”
“Why?”
“She likes Winston.” Lisa snatched up Grayson’s book. “And she’s mad that he likes me.”
“Dee likes Winston?” He groaned. “I thought she had better taste than that.”
“She’s being so nasty and unfair to me all around.”
“Well you know I’m here for you if you need to talk about it.”
She slammed Grayson’s book in her lap. “I’m tired of worrying about Dee just to have her treat me like shit.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I was there with you and holding you.” He sighed. “But that’s a decision you’ve made.”
“You made it.” She opened Grayson’s book to the page where she’d left off.
“Well I’m deeply sorry for attacking Winston, but I can’t take it back. Are you gonna hate me forever?”
“I don’t hate you. I hated how you acted.” She set the book aside. “It reminded me of—”
“Mason? Oh, honey. I wasn’t even thinking about that.”
“It reminded me of his tirades.” Lisa tried to force the memories from her mind. “You can’t believe how violent he was, Jake.”
“I feel like an asshole now.” He breathed into the phone. “I wasn’t even thinking about how my actions would affect you or anyone else.”
“I just don’t understand this thing men have for violence.” She huffed. “Why does everything have to resort to that? I can deal with anything but that.”
“Sweetie, it was a fight and it was stupid for me to have it. You know I’d never hurt anyone just to do so. And I’d never hurt you.”
She closed her eyes.
“I was very upset and I was scared of losing you.”
“We’ll never be happy until you stop being scared. Jake, your fear is what’s driving us apart and nothing else.”
“I know. That’s why I went to see Dr. Guzman today.”
“What?” She folded her legs Indian-style. “You didn’t.”
“Yeah I did. We had a nice little talk and I can see why you like her. She’s very easy to open up to.”
“Wow.” She felt a slight tingle. “You did that for me?”
“I did it for me. I feel much better. I won’t say I’m not still afraid of losing you, but I know I can survive even if you and I don’t stay together.”
“You’re not gonna lose me.” She laid the book in her lap and opened it. “That’s what I want you to believe. I love you. Please believe in that and nothing else matters.”
“I do believe it, Lisa.” His voice grew deeper. “I believe it within every part of me.”
“I’ve missed you so much.” She glanced around. “I walk around this empty house and I feel so lonely. You’re a part of me, Jake. I don’t think that’s ever gonna change.”
“I don’t want it to. And I can’t begin to tell you how much I miss you.”
Lisa tugged at the corner of the book.
“So...is everything good between us now?”
“I don’t know.” She teased. “There are a few things you’ll have to do to make it up to me.”
“I see.” He chuckled. “Well your wish is my command. When do I have to perform this torturous feat?”
She laughed as the tingle traveled between her legs. “Can you get over here in five minutes?”
“Shit, I’ll definitely try!”
She laughed. “Okay.” Her nipples dug into her bra. “I’ll give you your mission then.”
“Just let me call my ride and I’ll be right there. Wait a second. I forgot why I called. Uh, I might have information that’ll help you on your case.”
“Okay?”
“Well you know the wannabe cop in me can’t seem to stay out of your cases, so I’ve been doing some research on Grayson. I came across a Baltimore website where they
discuss books on this forum and people were swearing up and down that Grayson doesn’t write his books. This isn’t the first time people have said that either.”
“I’ve heard that too. I also saw some things online about it, but to be fair I’ve heard people say this about a lot of authors and it didn’t mean it was true.”
“But it might be good to look into it though. There was this one person with a user name.” He told her the name. “He or she said they used to be in some writing group or whatever with someone who claimed they’d written some of Grayson’s books.”
She grabbed the pencil and paper from the drawer of the end table and scribbled the name.
“It might not mean jack, but remember these people are the literary community right here in Baltimore,” Jake said. “So some of the people on that site might know Grayson and know for sure if this is true or not. I also saw other national and global sites where folks said all this stuff about him. Sure is big to be just a rumor.”
“Well if his books are ghostwritten, that could be a motive for murder.” Lisa tapped the paper. “Maybe Edana knew for sure he didn’t write his books and threatened to expose him or something.”
“That would ruin his career and reputation, Leece.”
“I know I’m always telling you to keep your nose out of my cases, but this time...” She unfolded her legs. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
****
The Next Day:
“This is absurd, Detective,” LaVonda Howell said over the telephone the next day. “Grayson writes his own books.” She sounded as if she were sipping something. “This is a vicious rumor that started a long time ago and won’t die.”
“I’ve seen several book forums online,” Lisa said. “I spent all night reading about twenty of them, including one right here in Baltimore, and it just seems weird to me that these people are so adamant at believing that Grayson uses a ghostwriter. I mean if he does then that’s fine but—”
“I’ve been Grayson’s agent since he began. Don’t you think I’d know if he used a ghostwriter? He’s one of the most popular mystery authors today. Of course people are gonna make up lies about him.”
“Two people claimed that they had worked with his previous publishing house.” Lisa covered her other ear to block out the noise from the station. “They both posted that they worked on Grayson’s books for a long time and know for sure he didn’t write them.”
“What people?”
“Well they all used usernames. I’m trying to track them down by contacting the website but—”
“Detective Swanson, you have no idea how nasty the literary world can be.” LaVonda sighed. “Even the most prestigious people have a grudge against someone. I’m telling you this is unfounded and based off of jealousy and nothing else.”
“How can you be so sure he writes his own books?”
“Grayson and I are not just colleagues but friends. If he uses a ghostwriter, I’d be the first to know. Now I’m sorry but I have a Skype meeting in a minute with an editor for one of my other clients. Is there anything else?”
“No.” Lisa scrolled through another online book site. “Thank you for your time.” She hung up.
Winston headed to the officer’s desk beside Dee’s desk.
Lisa smiled.
He tossed the file on the detective’s desk and headed out of the room without looking Lisa’s way.
She got up and followed him out of the room. “Winston?”
He continued down the hall.
“Shit.” She ran behind him. “Winston, wait.” She caught up with him and grabbed his arm. “Stop, please.”
He stopped but didn’t look down at her.
She stood in front of him. “I know you’re mad but you can’t avoid me forever.”
He crossed his arms.
“Come here.” She pulled him aside as officers passed. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve had it with your shit.” He snatched his arm from her. “Wasn’t that clear to you in your bedroom? How much do you expect me to take?”
“I’m sorry about what happened the other night, but you were moving too fast.”
“I was moving too fast?” He poked his chest. “As I recall you were a willing participant.”
“I know I was,” she whispered. “I was wrong. I accept full responsibility.”
“You said you want Jake, right?” He moved from the wall. “That’s fine. I’m over it. I hope you and Jake are very happy.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“No, I don’t, but I’m sick of going back and forth with you and I’m taking myself out of the game.”
“What do you want?” She moved closer. “What?”
“I want to be happy and have peace, Lisa. I can’t get that if I’m running after you and having you step on my heart in the process.”
“That’s...that’s not fair.”
“It is fair!” He lowered his voice. “You expect me to keep running after you like a moron?”
“So you love me but you’re just going to walk away like that?”
“What do you want from me?” He bent down to her face. “I don’t get you. When I make a move on you, you push me away. When I move away you start coming on to me.” He waved his arms. “I can’t take this shit anymore!”
Passing officers glanced at the heated exchange.
He whispered, “If you want me then you let me know but we’re not going to keep playing this game anymore.” He moved from around her.
“You kissed Dee?” Her voice cracked.
“No.” He turned around. “She kissed me.”
“She’s in love with you.”
“Yeah, well, tell me something I don’t know, Lisa.” He turned to leave.
She hopped in front of him. “So how do you feel about that?”
“Well, I’m flattered.” He raised an eyebrow. “Dee’s a beautiful woman. Any man would be.”
“She said you’re not interested in her.”
Can he see how jealous this is making me? I have no right to be but I am.
“Is what Dee said true?” Lisa’s voice shook. “Are you not interested in her?”
He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close.
“Don’t.” She twisted in his arms. “Winston.”
Officers stared as they passed.
“Look into my eyes,” he said. “And ask me again if you think I want any woman but you.”
“Winston...”
He kissed her.
“Mmm!” She pushed him away. “How dare you?” She glanced in both directions of the hall. “People can see us!”
“Everyone knows what’s happening between us, Lisa.” He pushed open the door to the stairwell. “You’re the only one who hasn’t accepted it.”
She wiped her mouth.
“It’s your choice now.” He leaned against the door. “If you want me, you let me know, but I have to be your only choice. And if I can’t be then whatever this is, it’s over for good.”
“Winston.”
He went into the stairwell.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
That Night:
“I don’t know where this is coming from.” Grayson sat beside Dee on his living room couch. “Why are you asking if my work is ghostwritten?”
“Because Lisa thinks it might be. She spoke to your agent today.”
Sylvia brought in a bottle of champagne and two glasses then left the room.
“Lisa spoke to LaVonda, huh?” Grayson grinned and filled the glasses with champagne. “She can’t get me on killing Edana so she wants to mess with my career?”
“Lisa wouldn’t do that. If she’s on this ghostwriting kick then she must think there’s a connection between it and Edana’s murder.”
Grayson passed her a glass.
“No.” She fanned it away.
“Come on, Dee.” He moved the glass to her lips. “It’ll loosen you up.”
“I don’t want it.” She snapped her head awa
y. “I came here on business.”
He sipped from the glass. “And how long do you think that will last?”
“I’m serious. Besides, after the way you threw me out the last time, you’re lucky I’m even speaking to your ass.”
“I’m sorry.” He took her hand. “I didn’t mean to act that way but I was jealous.” He kissed her cheek. “I hate that you want another man.”
“Well you knew that from the beginning.” She wiggled her hand from his hold. “I didn’t come here to talk about us. Why are people saying you’re not writing your novels?”
“This rumor has been going on forever. People are jealous of my success. You know that.”
“A rumor is one thing.” She sat back. “But there are tons of people saying this. These aren’t just any people, Grayson. Many are involved in the Baltimore literary community and claim to know for sure that you’re not writing your books.”
“I’m not using a ghostwriter!” He slammed the glass on the table. “Now, you’re a fan of my work. You said you could tell the passion I have for my work when you read it. Could you do that if it was ghostwritten?”
“I’ll see you.” She got up.
“Wait.” He pulled her back down. “I don’t care what Lisa or anyone else thinks.” He gently gripped the back of her neck. “All I care about is you. Do you believe me?”
“I don’t know what to believe.”
He let her neck go.
“It’s hard for me to think that all of these people have a grudge against you.”
“I need you.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Please.”
“No.” She squirmed from his hold. “We’re not doing this and I mean it this time.”
“Are you angry with me?” He touched her cheek. “I swear I’m not lying about my work—”
“This is not about your work.”
“What’s it about?” He looked her up and down. “Winston Lewis? I’d give you the world if you let me, Dee.” He kissed her. “I still want to even if you want Winston.”
