by Roxy Wynn
Mum said I have the gift of gab, and while I prattled on about my life and career, Sarah gave me her full attention. I wondered if she was as nervous as I was, but her expression was hard to read.
“I’ve done more partying than is good for me,” I admitted. “But when I’m wearing trousers, I’m a respectable man. If you agree to this wedding business, I promise not to hurt you or your boy.”
She squinted and tilted her head as if trying to read my mind. “So you’re ready to forsake your rock and roll lifestyle to marry a single mom? I find that hard to believe. Do you have a MILF fetish or something I should know about?”
I nearly choked. “No way. You seem like a decent person is all. And Ollie says if I clean up my act, I can be bigger than the Beatles.”
She scrunched up her face and downed the rest of her glass. “The Beatles are overrated.” She scooted out the other end of the booth. “I want one more. You in?” She asked.
I looked down at the almost empty glass in front of me and then up at the woman who just told me the Beatles were overrated. “No I don’t think so, Love. Just water for me this time.”
While she nodded and headed toward the bar without a second thought, my mind reeled. No one thought the Beatles were overrated. Saying the words out loud was practically blasphemy, yet here she was echoing back my exact thoughts and dancing away like it was the most normal thing in the world.
I may be in love with you, you small sexy vixen.
When she came back, she handed me an ice water and set a wine glass in front of herself. I eyed it suspiciously with a raised eyebrow.
“What?” She asked, not meeting my eyes. “It’s white wine, but it did not come from a box. I watched the man pour it straight from the bottle.”
“Americans…”
“Yeah, yeah…” she waved her hand at me, took a sip of wine and rolled her eyes back in her head in mock ecstasy.
“What about you?” I asked. “You haven’t said ‘no’ to marrying me yet. In fact, you even got a sitter so you could come talk to me. Your ex must be shit if you’re considering marrying a strange man to keep him away.”
As if a light switch were flipped, she straightened up in her seat and her demeanor changed. “Yeah. He abandoned me the day I gave birth and didn’t come back around until his wife decided I must be loaded because my bakery is thriving and my best friend married a celebrity.”
“What an arsehole.”
“And get this, he wants child support from me.”
I vowed to myself right then if I ever saw this bloke, I would punch him right in the nose. “I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“I don’t want my son to end up anything like his father.”
“Can’t blame you there. He shouldn’t get away with it.”
“And if I have to marry you to show the courts I’m a good mom, then I guess that’s what I’ll do.” Her eyes grew dark again, and she grabbed the front of my shirt in her tiny little fist, bringing my face inches from hers. “My son is smart, and loyal, and loves everyone he meets.” She shook her head. “If you hurt him, I will end you. Is that clear?”
Her lips were close enough to smell the bitter orange and whiskey on her breath. I knew grabbing her by the hair and kissing her was an incorrect response to her question, but I didn’t think I had ever craved a woman as badly as I did her right then.
Don’t stare at her lips, just answer the question!
I gulped. “Crystal.”
“Excellent,” she said, releasing my shirt and backing away. “Alright, I’ll marry you.” Her words were casual as if she had just ordered another drink instead of agreeing to be legally bound to me for a full year.
This was it, I was getting married. Sure, she was a stranger, but she was also a beautiful angel who in the twelve hours since we had known each other, had captivated me. Images raced through my head of weddings and babies and waking up every morning next to a nest of vanilla scented chestnut brown curls.
I stared off in the distance, wondering if she liked tea, and if her son was a fan of music. Perhaps I would teach him to play guitar…
This is not a real wedding you idiot, calm down.
“Alfie?” She asked, snapping her fingers. “Where did you go? I just agreed to marry you.”
“Right. Sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “Let’s do this then.” I stood from the booth and got down on one knee.
She looked around to the other tables, before covering her face. “You don’t have to do all this.”
“Yes I do. I’m doing this, here for the world to see.” I fished in my pocket and retrieved the ring I purchased on my way to the bar. It was a huge pear shaped diamond monstrosity set on a gold band, but it was the smallest band they had. Taking her hand, I gazed into her eyes while the band stopped playing behind us, and the three occupied tables gave us their full attention.
“Sarah… “ I searched my memory for her last name. It was on the tip of my tongue.
“…Taylor?”
“Right! Sarah Taylor, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
She looked to the small but very interested crowd and then back down to my face before shrugging.
“Sure, what the hell.”
Behind us, all seven onlookers cheered.
Chapter Nine
Sarah
After getting engaged and then finishing my second way too strong cocktail, I headed back home.
Correction… I headed to Chrissy’s house. I, no longer had a home of my own since my mother met Owen, the slimy real estate agent. For the past ten days, we had been staying in Chrissy’s guest wing while Bailey and I waited for the construction on our condo to finish.
Alfie Lane left me wondering what the hell I was doing with my life. One second I think I have everything on lockdown with a happy kid, successful business, and great friends. But then he showed up in his underpants and completely turned things around.
Sure, the engagement wasn’t what I dreamed of as a little girl. There was no romantic dinner filled with rose petals and Johnny Depp, but separating fantasy from reality was what adulthood was all about.
“Hey,” Chrissy said from the kitchen when I opened the front door. “Little Man only gave me a little shit about his bedtime, but Jax read to him for a while and the kid passed right out.” She waddled over to where I stood and offered me a bite of her sandwich.
“Tuna salad? At this hour?” I asked, shaking my head. “You know that shit sticks around on your breath even after brushing right?”
“Of course I do.” She took another bite and followed me into the living room. When she got settled on the couch, she rested the plate on her ample belly. “But this was the trade-off. I agreed to eject a human being out of my vagina, and Jax has to deal with my rank, tuna fish breath.”
“He’s a lucky man.”
“I know, right? But back to Alfie. Give me all the details.”
Without a word, I held up my left hand and showed off the world’s ugliest diamond ring. She nearly choked on her sandwich.
“Holy shit. That ring is….”
“Hideous?” I asked.
She grabbed my hand to take a better look. “I wouldn’t say hideous. More like, dated. Who did he buy this from, Sophia Petrillo?”
I took the ring off and held it up to my own face again. “I guess this is my punishment for agreeing to marry a total stranger. He knows nothing about me or my taste in jewelry.”
“For a hottie like him, that’s a damn shame.” She said, sighing. “After I pawned Little Man off on Jax, I watched all the videos I could find about Alfie Lane.”
“And?”
“And the guy is hot. I’m not saying I’m jealous, but I am saying that my hormones are raging right now… and I definitely want to know what his dick looks like the second you see it.”
I scoffed. “Dude, that’s fucked up.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but as your best friend I felt it was my duty to tell you,” she said. “S
o how was it? Was it all business or was there any spark?”
Before she could grab the other half of her sandwich, I stole it off her plate and took a large bite. “It was a little flirty, but not overly so,” I said, chewing. “We had a couple of drinks, and talked, and then he proposed.”
“Mhmm,” she said, eyeing me as if she knew something I didn’t.
“What?”
“Nothing. I didn’t say a damn thing.” Taking the empty plate from her belly, she waddled into the kitchen, and when she returned, she held a handful of cookies.
“Then what’s the ‘mhmm’ about?” I said, finishing the sandwich.
“Oh, nothing.” She held eye contact with me while eating an entire brown butter chocolate chip cookie.
“It was nothing.”
“Sure it was,” she said nodding, about to start on cookie number two.
“Listen to me, you Amazon. I’m not sure what you’re getting at here, but we are getting married and that’s it. We aren’t in love if that’s what you’re trying to say.” When she didn’t reply, I continued my line of defense. “We don’t even know each other.”
“Yet you had drinks with him?” She put her feet up on the coffee table and started in on cookie number three.
“So what? People drink all the time. I’m an adult.”
“Yeah, people drink all the time, but you don’t. Last time I saw you drink around a guy was when you were trying to get Eli’s attention at that tailgater out on Goodpasture Road.”
I winced thinking of myself at seventeen in a miniskirt downing jungle juice out of a bucket, so I wouldn’t freak out when the captain of the football team looked my way. “Ugh! What does that have to do with anything?”
“You like him. You were nervous. It’s cute.”
“It’s not cute,” I said. “And I sure as hell don’t like him. This is a business deal.”
“A business deal that stipulates you have to live together and pretend to be married.”
I nodded. “Still a business deal.”
She stood up and the brushed cookie crumbs off her silk pajama pants.
“You can call it whatever you want, but I know you. I see how flustered you get when you talk about him.” When she leaned down to pinch my cheek, I slapped her hand away.
“I do not!”
“Yes, you do. You did it before when he was just some guy whose music you liked, but ever since Mrs. Calloway mentioned marrying him, you’ve been extra happy.”
“You haven’t met him, so you haven’t experienced this for yourself, but the man is mildly repulsive in person. He makes way too many jokes, and I think he might have ADD.”
“Judging from all the interviews I watched tonight, he can’t be that repulsive. Those reporters were practically drooling over him.”
“They didn’t see him in his boxer briefs escorting a gaggle of strange women out of his room.”
“Something tells me they would still love him even if they did. It’s okay to let your hair down every once in a while, Sarah.” She walked over to the hallway and turned the lights off, leaving me in darkness.
Letting my hair down and having a good time was one thing, having sex with a British rock star was another thing entirely
“I don’t understand why we have to do mediation first?” Aimee said, smacking her gum loud enough to be heard in the next state. “Can’t we just go to the judge and tell him we want our boy? It ain’t fair she gets to keep him all the time.”
The four of us had just entered the mediation room, and my ex’s current wife was already making me want to smash my head against the wall.
“We do mediation first to see if we can all come to an understanding without tying up the courts,” the mediator answered with a warm smile.
Once everyone was seated, and she read through the notes, she continued. “Now, I’m sure we are all aware of why we’re here today. We are trying to come to a custody agreement for a…” she adjusted her glasses and looked down at the paper in her hand. “Bailey Taylor, is that correct?”
“Yes, your honor,” Aimee answered, turning her southern charm up to eleven. I could tell from the peach pantsuit and teased hair, she was trying to look the part of the proper mom. “My husband and I would like to have full custody of Bailey. We have another little one on the way, and we would love the two to be raised together. A full family unit. Mommy, daddy and babies.” She rubbed her flat stomach and looked at me with a saccharine smile.
“Oh, I’m not a judge dear, just the family law mediator. You can call me June.”
“Oh,” Aimee giggled, covering her mouth. “June it is then. What a lovely name.”
“And may I ask you, sir, why now?”
Eli shuffled in his seat and cleared his throat, but it was Aimee who spoke for him. “You see June, Eli was scared. ” She frowned while rubbing his arm.
“Scared?”
“Yes. Sarah can be a little… bossy sometimes.”
“What?” I demanded, sitting up straight in my seat.
June put her hand out to shush me. “Ms. Taylor, you’ll have a chance to speak. Right now I want to hear Mr. Shepard’s reasons for not contacting his son for five years. What made you wait until now?”
Eli looked from June to Aimee again. “Well, your hon…. June. Well you see, Sarah said I couldn’t see him. I wanted to, but after she gave birth, I didn’t really feel wanted, she was cold to me. So I packed up my things and drove to Mississippi.”
My heart raced. “I’m sorry, how did I make you feel unwanted?”
“You called me a dumb son of a bitch…”
“Yeah, when I was in labor. You ignored me for hours to watch the game with Chucky and get wasted.”
June watched the back and forth while scribbling notes on her legal pad.
“Honey,” Aimee said, still smiling like a lunatic. “You were cruel to him. He told me time and time again how controlling you were.”
“Wanting him to use a coaster on my mother’s antique coffee table is not controlling…”
“Ladies,” June interrupted. “Let’s keep this about Bailey.” She looked down at her notes again, and then to me. “Why would you want to deny Bailey his father? I have always been of the belief that a complete family unit is best when it comes to raising happy, healthy children.”
“I’m sure it is,” I said. “My issue is that he just left. He didn’t call, or send an email. Nothing. He just vanished into thin air. Bailey wouldn’t know him from Ronald McDonald. How can that be good for a kid?”
Eli spoke up again. “Sarah, I’m sorry for leaving, but like I said, I didn’t think you wanted me around. So I left to become a better man. And then when I found Aimee, I knew God was telling me that I needed to come back and get my boy.” He turned and looked at Aimee again who beamed at him. “I knew I was put on this earth to be a husband and father.”
Barf.
“Ms. Taylor, is there any amount of custody we could get you to agree on today? I’m afraid if we can’t figure something out, I will have to refer this to the courts.”
Thinking about all the times Bailey had asked about his daddy in the past few months, there was a part of me that did want him to meet Eli. After all, they did share DNA. But I couldn’t imagine ever just handing him off to Eli and his Sears catalog freak of a wife without being there to supervise. The worst outcome I could think of was raising a son who would leave his newborn at the hospital. It was an inexcusable offense. I wanted Bailey to be better than that.
“Bailey doesn’t know these people, they’re strangers to him. I am open to some supervised visitation, but that’s it,” I said.
“That is a big load of crapola!” Aimee hissed, slamming her hands down on the table.
“Mrs. Shepard, what kind of visitation would you like to happen?”
She looked at Eli again and took his hand. “We would like full custody of Bailey…”
“Over my dead body,” I said through gritted teeth.
“I’m his father…”
“You’re not a father, you’re a stranger.”
“He wasn’t such a stranger when you were opening your legs to him,” Aimee said under her breath.
I stood quickly, seeing red. “You uneducated hillbilly!”
“Ms. Taylor, if you don’t calm down I will call security.”
Aimee kept her smile and continued. “We would like custody because we are afraid she no longer has time for Bailey. She has a big, busy bakery, and she’s running around all the time.”
Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down. Not wanting to play her game, I took a seat, refusing to stoop to their level. “None of that is true at all.” I did my best to keep my voice down but failed miserably.
“Ms. Taylor, I told you to stay quiet. One more outburst and I will have you removed.”
My heart racing, I pursed my lips while Aimee lied through her teeth.
“I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mother. We are a complete family, Eli and I. We can give Bailey everything his momma can’t.”
June looked at me again and nodded her head. “Now you may speak.”
A trick I taught Bailey last year was counting to three when he got mad. For example, if I was making him eat his veggies, and he didn’t want to, instead of screaming and throwing them on the floor, I told him to take a deep breath and count to three. As a Taylor, I understood better than anyone just how hot-headed we can be.
Much like Bailey, as I sat there counting, my rage did not subside at all.
“I am not running around all the time. I have a successful business that affords me the luxury of spending time with him. I have been a great mom all by myself for the past five years. I imagine I’ll do just fine for the next five years as well.”
“Yeah, but Honey, he needs a daddy. You didn’t have a daddy and look where you are. You’re an unwed mother. We all just want what’s best for him,” Aimee said.
I worked hard and followed the rules all of my life. Even as a child, I was a big stickler for doing the right thing. It was just my nature. Since high school, I studied, I worked, and I raised the hell out of Bailey, wanting so badly to do right by him. And now here I was, face to face with a grown woman who called strangers ’Sugarplum’.
