Brush Strokes

by E S Karlquist

  Eventually, people leave, but almost all of them have been shaking his and Mrs. Floral’s hands, telling them that they’re going to be back.

  “Can I talk to you?” Daniel comes up to him, and Todd is surprised, because they’ve barely seen each other since New Year’s Eve.

  “Sure.”

  Daniel moves off to the side, behind the front desk. “I got in,” is the first thing he says, and Todd doesn’t get it, until he does.

  “You did?” he breathes, heart hammering behind his ribs. Daniel got in!

  “Found out this morning.”

  “Oh, my god,” Todd whispers, wondering why he sounds all choked up. “That’s amazing. Congratulations!”

  Daniel smiles, then. “I promised to tell you as soon as I found out. I’m sorry it was on your big night.”

  “No.” Todd shakes his head rapidly. “This just makes everything better.”

  Daniel looks away, still smiling, but it’s the smile is shrinking with every second they look at each other.

  “So, you’re doing it? You’re moving?”

  “Most likely.”

  “That’s awesome.” It’s not awesome at all. Well, for Daniel it is, because he doesn’t have to live under the same roof as his dad anymore. He gets to see if this law thing is actually something for him. However, Boston seems billions of miles away now, though it’s not that far. It’s not as if he’s moving to California or Europe. “I’m so happy for you. I knew you’d get in.”

  “It’s the next adventure, right?” Daniel says, but he’s pale, even for the middle of winter.

  “A big one. Then you’ll take on the world.”

  “Christ,” Daniel laughs. “You’ve got high hopes for me.”

  Todd is just about to reply, when Jamal calls for him. He’s standing by the door with his mom, switching from one foot to the other. Daniel must have gotten the picture from his reaction, because he smiles. “Go. We’ll talk later.”

  “Todd,” Jamal says when Todd reaches him. “I told all my friends in school about our club. So maybe some of them want to come next year. That’s good, right?”

  “That’s great.” Todd’s ribcage can’t fit his heart. “You told all your friends? Thank you so much, buddy.”

  “I only have three,” Jamal confesses. “But they’re funny and nice.”

  “That’s the only thing that matters,” Todd says and squeezes his shoulder. “I don’t have that many friends either, but if they’re good, you don’t need a hundred, right?”

  “Right.” Jamal looks so relieved that Todd wants to hug him. “See you Thursday.”

  “There’s always a spot for you here,” Todd says, half to Jamal, half to his mom. Todd’s going to make sure of that somehow.

  He’s helping Mrs. Floral clean up after everyone has left, when she pushes a familiar book into his hand. It’s his copy of History of Modern Art. It’s been here since his midterms.

  “You should take this home with you,” she says. “And we’ll clean up the rest tomorrow. We both deserve some rest.”

  “Do you think we pulled it off?” Todd asks her and accepts the book.

  She leans the broom against the front desk. “Honey, I think we just made us a name.” Then she smiles. “And even if we didn’t, I think we did something amazing and worth being proud of. You, above everyone else, worked so hard for this.”

  Todd swallows desperately. “It’s all thanks to you. You hired me.”

  “And thank the Lord that I did,” she says. “This place would have been closed months ago if it wasn’t for you.”

  “Well, I had help from a whole bunch of people,” Todd says, because working by himself didn’t go all that well. He’s said it a hundred times to the journalists, but he wants to make sure that she knows too. “It wouldn’t have been possible without them.”

  “You have amazing people in your life, honey,” Mrs. Floral says, and he knows. He knows. “I’ll see you again on Monday.”

  “Yes.” Todd hugs her tight. “See you Monday.”

  At home, he lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling. History of Modern Art is still on his chest, a friendly weight on his ribcage, and Sandwich is eyeing it with suspicion, as though it’s taken her spot. He tries not to think about Daniel moving away. It’s better this way, so he gets a chance to get over his crush.

  “This,” Todd tells her and holds the book up. “Is something I’d be happy for you to eat. It’s a really terrible book.”

  Just as he’s about to put it on the floor, thinking that accidents happen more easily if you give them a good opportunity, he notices a white piece of paper sticking up between the pages.

  It’s thicker than normal paper, reminding him of a postcard, but a lot smaller. It’s maybe an inch tall and two inches wide, when he pulls it free. He thinks it’s just a blank bookmark he found somewhere and forgot about, until he turns it over.

  I’d like to give the dating thing another chance. Let me know if you want to grab that coffee sometime. /Daniel

  It’s simple and definitely not very out there. However, since the book has been lying around the gallery forever now, Todd has a hard time pinpointing when Daniel put it there.

  Then he remembers Daniel holding this book when he came for a visit during midterms. In October. Has he been waiting since then? For three months? Because he doesn’t think he’s wanted?

  “Sandwich, I’m going to be brave,” he tells her as he gets out of bed, heart flat against his ribs, and gets his coat where he’s left it hanging over the back of his desk chair. He grabs the painting from where it’s leaning against his desk too. He never got a chance to give it to Daniel for Christmas, and now he’s got a good excuse for visiting.

  His pulse doesn’t slow during the entire train ride; all he can think is, what if Daniel has moved on? It’s been three months. Todd might be the only person ever to have a crush for three months and not do anything about it.

  He almost slips and bashes his head against the sidewalk a few times as he hurries to Daniel’s house. The paper, now deformed by his sweaty palm, is still in one hand, and the canvas in the other.

  His fingers are trembling as he punches the doorbell. He tells himself that it’s because he forgot gloves, but the pumping adrenaline is making him sweat.

  Ava opens the door, and her eyebrows climb when she spots him and then rise even farther when she sees the painting in his hand.

  “Is Daniel home?” He pulls a hand through his hair so she won’t notice him trembling.

  “Uh, yeah.” She eyes him, not stepping aside to let him in. “Are you here to declare your undying love for him?”

  “Something like that,” Todd admits, helpless. “Unless you force me to freeze to death out here first.”

  “About time,” she mutters as she steps aside. “Our parents just left for some dinner. I’ll be playing really loud music on my headphones all evening.”

  Then she bangs the door closed and leaves him in the hallway.

  “No one said anything about sex!” Todd says, exasperated.

  “Dude, it’s even more gross listening to you guys declare your love.”

  Todd rolls his eyes and swears under his breath as he fights the laces on his boots. God, he should’ve picked freaking flip flops or something.

  He takes the stairs two at a time and reaches Daniel’s bedroom door completely out of breath. It’s closed, and all Todd can think is: please don’t be naked, please don’t be naked as he pushes it open.

  Daniel is on his bed, reading, fully clothed thank god, and he startles so badly when he sees Todd that he drops the book.

  “Hi,” Todd says.

  Daniel blinks at him, eyes wide.

  The words don’t come. He thinks about going with his backup plan, but then he drops the painting to the floor. Todd has no clue what to say,
so he holds out the note Daniel left him.

  “I found this.”

  Recognition dawns on Daniel’s face as his gaze locks on it. “Oh,” is all he says.

  Doubt creeps up his spine, but Todd needs to know. Needs to ask. “Does it still stand? The offer?”

  Daniel looks at him for what feels like an eternity. “You didn’t find it until now?” he asks, instead of answering Todd’s question.

  “No. Like an hour ago. Then I came here.”

  Daniel still looks as though he’s been struck by lightning, as if he can’t quite comprehend what’s happening.

  Todd takes a breath. He did tell Sandwich that he’d be brave, so here goes.

  “Because if it still stands, I’d very much want to have that coffee. Date. Coffee date. I mean, I hope it still stands. I’ve been wanting to since… well, yeah, since I met you.”

  “Todd, I can’t make out what you’re saying.”

  So he repeats it all, slower this time.

  Daniel stands up then, and Todd shivers. “Can you say that again?” he asks, when he stops in front of Todd, and this time Todd doesn’t think it’s because he’s been blabbering.

  “I don’t care that you’re moving to Boston. I’d like to try the dating. If the offer still stands.”

  And this time, when Daniel kisses him, it’s like none of the other times they’ve kissed. It’s a little hard, and a lot desperate, and he digs his fingers into Todd’s back as if he wants to make sure that he won’t leave. Todd’s lips are raw when they pull away, and he’s out of breath for a different reason than running up the stairs.

  “Is that a yes?” he asks, grinning.

  “Here I’ve been moping all this time, thinking that you’ve tried to reject me nicely, and, in reality, you just don’t study enough.”

  “Bullshit,” Todd says. “I got great scores on all my finals.”

  Daniel’s gaze roams his face, as if he’s something new to discover, and his hands cup Todd’s jaw. Todd doesn’t think anyone has looked at him like this before.

  “Is that a yes?” he asks again.

  “What?”

  “Is that a yes?”

  A soft smile spreads on Daniel’s lips. “Yes. That’s a yes.”

  Todd is the one to kiss Daniel this time. It’s so easy now, when he knows that he has all the time he wants. There’s no cab, or New Year’s countdown rushing them. He presses in close. Breathes in through his nose.

  This is where he’s supposed to be.

  ONE YEAR LATER…

  Todd locks his phone after checking the flight times for Mexico one last time. Travelling with Evan is nerve-racking, as he seems to think that everything will solve itself as soon as they get to the airport. Todd thinks it’s pretty vital not to miss your flight. Abuela won’t be happy if they do.

  He welcomes a few patrons. The gallery is always less-frequented during Christmas break. In a moment, however, it will become significantly more crowded. He still has one final exam left, but most students are already finished.

  A few minutes later, the door opens, and a group of kids piles through. Behind them, Daniel steps in, cheeks rosy from the cold. Todd hasn’t seen him in two weeks, and the sight of him walking through the door causes his heart to malfunction.

  “Hi,” he signs, and resists the urge to readjust his beanie when Daniel gives him one of his huge smiles. It takes a moment before he remembers that there are a group of kids here, too, staring at him with interest. “Why don’t you guys have a look around while I set things up?” he signs.

  They scatter through the next door, pulling off hats and scarves. Todd doesn’t know why they bothered, since their club is in Cruella’s old space next door.

  Daniel steps around the counter and gives him a sweet kiss. “How are you?”

  “Missed you,” Todd signs. “You?”

  “Tired.” Daniel’s hand moves to his waist briefly before he signs again. “Just got back from Boston. When are you leaving to see your grandma?”

  “New Year’s Day. Plenty of time until then.” Todd grins when Daniel pinches his side. “I have one final left, and then I’m all yours.”

  “Accounting?”

  “Dad is going really hardcore with the private lessons.”

  Daniel smiles. “I think it’s great that you decided to take the class.”

  Todd doesn’t like admitting it, but so is he. “I’m not sure how great I’ll be at doing this, though,” he says, nodding in the direction where the kids went.

  “You’ll be great, and, if you need some assistance, I’ll be there to help out.”

  Todd nods and takes a deep breath. “Did you talk to your dad?” he asks, just to stall for a little while longer.

  Daniel nods. “We’re going to watch a game and have dinner on Thursday.”

  Todd doesn’t know what sport that would be, but the fact that Daniel and his dad have both worked really hard to reconnect after not speaking for a few months is making him proud. Todd, knowing all too well how long it takes to rebuild a broken relationship that you’ve put the lid on for too long, might have been the driving force behind Daniel talking to his dad about their situation.

  “You’re disappearing on me,” Daniel says, and Todd looks up.

  “Sorry.”

  Daniel nods and kisses his cheek. “Are you ready?”

  “You’re staying over after, right?”

  “For sure. I’m not missing out on your dad’s quesadillas.” Daniel gives him a look that makes Todd’s skin crawl in anticipation. “Or having you to myself for a bit. To catch up.”

  “To catch up,” Todd snorts.

  Daniel smiles against his lips before he kisses him. “Come on. Let’s go teach these kids, and me, something about art.”

  Todd’s painting was the first thing Daniel put up in his new place, and, according to Jesse, he brags about it to anyone who wants to listen. Except for Todd’s own art, Daniel isn’t too enthusiastic when Todd tries to drag him to a gallery or museum, but he still goes. In turn, Todd has to listen to Daniel’s endless law-rants. That’s more than okay with him.

  The kids are in an awed cluster, gazing up at the huge, winged, clay sculptures in the next room. Daniel rounds them up, and they look at Todd with big eyes, as he flexes his fingers.

  “Who is ready for a guided tour?”

  THE END

  Acknowledgments

  Writing this book was a journey from start to finish, with its ups and downs, challenges as well as rewards. There are a number of people I need to thank for helping me come this far.

  First, I need to thank my family (mamma, pappa and Lina) for supporting me and encouraging me when times were rough. You taught me perseverance and bravery, and always encouraged my creativity. Your faith in me means everything, especially when my faith in myself waivers.

  I can’t forget my extended family, either: farmor, faster, Ellen och Clara. I’ve grown up with you in my life and it’s much better for it. Having incredibly strong women like you so close to me is an inspiration every day.

  I want to give a special thanks to Amy, Anna, Carlos, Elias and Josh who shared their experiences, knowledge and stories with me to help make this story true. Without your feedback this wouldn’t be the story it is today. I also want to thank Cinthya for generously sharing your last name with Todd.

  I also want to thank the IP team, and in particular Annie, Nicki, Candy and CB who helped me bring this book to life, get the word out there, and who made this story come to life through a beautiful cover. I can’t thank you enough for the understanding you’ve shown when things haven’t been easy and the encouragement you’ve given me when I’ve needed it the most. Thank you!

  I also want to thank a bunch of my close friends for all the laughs and adventures I’ve had with you. To have such amazing people in my life
that I can trust with anything is the most incredible thing. Thank you Julia, Andrea, Emilie, Agnes, Sara, Pernilla, Anna, Ullis, Ellen, Fredrik, Lina, Maja and Carro.

  Carrie, M and P: we’ve been friends for so long and having your support, love and encouragement has been invaluable to me during this journey. I’m grateful for your advice, knowledge and how generously you’ve wanted to share all of that with me.

  Thank you to everyone in the TWMSG GC who’s always there to share your creativity and talent.

  I also want to thank my IP family who welcomed me with open arms. It’s an honor to share a publisher with such amazing authors.

  I want to direct a special thank you to everyone who’s read my work in the past and pushed me to develop my writing style. If it wasn’t for your comments and support, I wouldn’t have dared to finish this book. You’re too many for me to mention you all by name, but please know that I am forever grateful for the support and love you’ve showed me.

  Last, but not least, I want to thank my high school teacher Sonja who read my work and told me to never stop writing.

  About the Author

  E.S. started writing stories as soon as she learned how to string letters together to create words and sentences. One of her first creations was around seven pages, eighty words, and about a tortoise living in a microwave. Since then, her stories have become a little longer, and perhaps slightly more complex. E.S. works for the Swedish government and has a master’s degree in human resources. Brush Strokes is her first novel.

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