“It was at a dance. Some girl had asked me to go, and so I went. You don’t want to hurt a nice girl’s feelings if you have a choice—I used to get asked to parties and dances as an eligible young bachelor in his teens—I’m sure you’re familiar with the phenomenon—Anyway, the girl who asked me was nice, as I said; I liked her, but I liked her more as a buddy than as an object of romance. Besides, I wasn’t particularly interested in romance back then. At sixteen, you’ve got some hormones surging through your veins, but there are lots of inhibitions too; and my inhibitions far outweighed whatever hormones were doing to my head. Basically, what I’m saying, is that the girl was nice and friendly, and I was nice and considerate, and I wouldn’t have wanted to hurt her for the world. But the way things happened, I didn’t have any control.
“So we danced a little, and after a while, she started chatting with some of her friends. She was popular and had a lot more friends than I did at the time; and off she went giggling with a few of the girls she knew, and I just stood there alone till Eddie came over to keep me company. He and I were talking for a while, about school, about one of the girls he had his eye on, when I looked across the room—It was a big gymnasium at the school where the dance was—and I saw this amazing pair of eyes. I didn’t even see who the eyes belonged to for several seconds. And then I saw the rest of her. You’ve seen the picture, Tommy; but the picture can’t do justice to the way Lizzie looked in real life. She was—how can I even describe her?—she was dazzling, breathtaking; there aren’t even words for me to tell you how phenomenally, breathtakingly beautiful she was.
“I didn’t think. I mean, at fifteen, you don’t really know how to approach a girl, or what to say, or how to act—You really don’t know much of anything, truthfully. But I wasn’t thinking about that. My mind was blank, and it was like this enormous magnet pulling me straight across the room. I was drawn to her, I mean. I couldn’t help being drawn to her. It was like—it was almost like I got propelled across that fifty-foot space by some force that was irresistible. What I’m saying is—OK, here I am standing and talking with Eddie, and a minute later—Zap!—there I am across the room staring into the gorgeous eyes of this girl, this strange, amazing, incredibly beautiful girl. But the funny part of it was, that when I looked at her, she wasn’t strange at all. It was as if we’d known each other all our lives. I stared at her and she stared at me, probably for a minute, although it felt like a year, and then I put out my hand and touched her cheek. She had this fabulous long blonde slightly wavy hair and I brushed it aside and touched her cheek, this soft, warm, gorgeous cheek. And what she did—God, I can almost feel her do it today—she leaned her cheek onto my fingers—Remember, I’m fifteen years old, and have no idea what the fuck I’m doing—But that didn’t matter. None of what happened was volitional. The two of us just saw each other and bonded, and from that day until the night I lost her, we could never, even for the five-day weeks I had to be in school, stand to be apart.
“So to answer your question about my goals and aspirations, Tommy, Lizzie is the answer to both. Everything else since then has been nothing but a poor, pathetic substitute for what I had and what I lost. For thirty empty years, I’ve missed her every single lonely minute of every single lonely day.”
“God, Ben! That’s a story that’s horrible and wonderful at the same time. I can’t relate to it personally, of course—I’ve never known anybody like your Lizzie—But to hear it coming from you, it’s sad, of course; but the relationship the two of you had sounds amazing.”
“Amazing? Until you experience it for yourself, kid, you can’t even imagine what amazing is. But I wish that for you, Tommy. Maybe one person in a million is lucky enough to find the love of his life; and if a guy finds the love of his life and a girl finds the love of her life, and they just happen to be each other—What is that? One in a trillion? Honestly, it felt like a one in a trillion phenomenon to both of us at the time, and I lived that one in a trillion phenomenon for almost seven years. So you see, Tommy, everything that’s come afterward was merely killing time; and I guess it’s only fair for time to finally get a shot at killing me.”
“I know, Ben—but you won’t reconsider about the surgery? Look, it’s not that I’m unappreciative of all the things you want to do for me—I am appreciative; I’m grateful for everything—But the two of us have bonded almost the way you and that girl once did, haven’t we? I want you around. I need you around. I can’t run a giant company without you. I need you, and Carole needs you, and Eddie needs you, and….”
“And I need a little rest. My batteries are running down, Tommy, and I’ve got a pretty girl I have to meet. And, honestly, I don’t want to turn into compost before I get to see her. Listen to me, kid, you’ll run the company just fine; I know you will. Hey, look what I did starting with nothing. You’re starting off with at least thirty billion in the till—and a whole lot more if our FaceMate buddies ante in. And Eddie is going to be around to help you too. You’re going to make it big, kid, I know you will. I only wish….”
“What, Ben? What do you wish? Is there anything else I can do?”
“Maybe there is—Yeah, maybe there really is. Look, do me a favor, will you, Tommy? That room where you and Eddie were sitting last night? Where is it? Someplace down the hall, right?”
“It’s part of your suite, Ben. Out the door from here, first left. A nice big room with a couple of sofas if your visitors need to sleep.”
“OK, then, great. Do me a favor, Tom, go wait in there. That way I’ll know where to find you when I want to call you back. Will you do that for me?”
“Of course—You need to ask? For you, Ben, I’d do anything.”
44
It was 1:20 when Eddie stuck his head in the room:
“Bennie?”
“Is she here?”
“Right behind me. She’s amazing—I mean fucking amazing! You want me to send her in?”
“Carole with you?”
“No, I sent her back to the room the way you told me to. Is that OK?”
“It’s perfect, pal. You’re my best friend ever, Eddie, and I love you, you know that? Just thought I’d mention it in passing, OK?”
“Yeah, uh, likewise, Bennie, likewise.” Eddie wiped his eyes. “I’ll send her in then. Hold your hat, though. You’re gonna be dazzled. Like totally blown away, I mean!”
And the door swung open all the way … and there she was, and….
And oh my God! It was incredible! It was her—Her! The eyes, the mouth, the hair, the way she stepped into the room, that seeming shyness, but behind the pseudo-shyness was that clever self-assurance that he recognized from thirty years before. He recognized everything from thirty years before. Because it was Lizzie, precisely, Lizzie, exactly Lizzie. No one knew Lizzie the way that Ben knew Lizzie, and right in front of him, right before his incredulous, gaping, awestruck eyes—Oh my God—Dear God!—It was her!
“Come over to me, please? Liliana, right? Come here, please. Don’t be afraid.”
“No, sir, I am not afraid. I will come. Where do you want me to be?”
“Here, over on this side, by the chair. Do you want to sit down?”
“If you like, yes, I will sit. I am…. My name is Liliana like you said. And you are Mr. Atherton, yes?”
“Yes, Mr. Atherton. But I would like it if you would call me Ben. Will you do that for me? Please?”
“Yes, of course I will, Mr. Ben. It is a very great pleasure to meet you, sir. Lady on plane told me to say ‘a great pleasure’ and not just ‘great pleasure’—This way of speaking, it is good?”
“Yes, Liliana, it is good, it is very good.”
She stepped over and sat in the chair to his right, a seat that was considerably lower than the bed, and so he looked at her from a foot or so above. The hair was identical to Lizzie’s, the face Lizzie’s exactly, every line, every shade of coloring, every nuance of expression; even the way she moved her neck, her eyes, the tiny up-curl of her lips whe
n she went to speak. The picture didn’t do her justice, not exactly. This was Lizzie in the very flesh. Ben trembled and his heart throbbed. But what of it? What did it matter now? He didn’t care.
“Do you know why I wanted you to come here, Liliana?”
“Yes, Mr. Ben. Mr. Eddie and Mrs. Carole, they told me everything in the car. Your girlfriend’s name was—we in Russia say ‘Elizavyetta’—is this right?”
“Yes, Elizavyetta is exactly right. You say it perfectly. I used to call her Liz. Or Lizzie; either one. She and I were very close.”
“Yes, I understand. Mr. Eddie told me the very terrible thing which happened with her. I am very sorry to hear this story. It made me very sad.”
“Me too, Liliana. It made me very sad too. You look just like her, though; amazingly like her. It’s just like seeing her again. I … don’t be afraid, but would it be alright for me to touch your hair, and your cheek? I did that with Lizzie the night I met her, and it would be wonderful if I could do it again with you, just for remembrance sake. I don’t want to scare you or offend you, but….”
“No, I am not even little bit scared. You know, Mr. Ben….”
“Ben. Just Ben. Don’t say Mr.— Please?”
“Yes, OK, I call you just Ben—OK? I am not even little bit scared, Ben. And should I tell you why I am not even little bit scared? You tell me I look like Elizavyetta, and I look at you and see like someone I knowing for long time. It is strange, but you seem like old familiar friend. Not old like stary, like old person, but old like meaning familiar, you understand?”
“I think so. I think I do understand.”
“You look like person I know all my life. Like person very close to me, very dear to me. It is strange for me to feel like this, but I do. Somehow I do.”
“So it’s OK for me to touch your cheek then? You won’t mind?”
“Why I should mind? I get up, come closer, bring cheek closer. Here, give me your hand.”
“Oh my God! My God!”
“What? You are sick? You not feeling good? You very hard of breathing, Ben. Not good. Something wrong? I worry. Wait. Wait. I call person in to help.”
“No, no. I’m fine. I’m just tired, that’s all. I’ll be fine in a minute, just let me catch my breath. I … need you to … to do something for me though. Will you do it?”
“Yes, of course I do. Tell me what you like and I do it right away.”
“I want you to go out the door there, turn left—you understand left?”
“Yes, left. Nalyevo, it is toward left.”
“OK, good, go out, turn left, and then the first door you come to, also on the left-hand side, go in and tell the person in there to wait until I call him in. Will you do that for me?”
“Yes, of course I do. And I shall wait there too, Ben? Shall I wait there too?”
“Yes, Liliana. That’s exactly what I want you to do. Go in and stay there with the person in that room until the time I call.”
45
Tommy saw the door swing in and then….
A pair of eyes. He had never seen eyes like that before, staring at him, as though they would pull him in, draw him in forever.
And they did pull him in. He didn’t feel his legs lift him from the couch, or their movement that impelled him toward the eyes, and toward the face around the eyes.
And the face was beautiful—no beyond beautiful—beyond any conception of beauty he had ever known or even imagined until this very moment, this solemn, breathless juncture of his life.
And the eyes pulled him toward them, and to them; and his hand went up, as though of its own volition entirely.
And he swept the beautiful blonde, slightly wavy hair off the gorgeous face and touched the cheek beneath.
And as he did, at the moment that he did, she leaned into his touch, as though she too were irresistibly impelled, and the eyes drew him closer, then closer yet, into her very soul.
And he forgot everything else in the world, right then, right there: the cars, the money, and everyone and everything he’d ever known, in that warm, soft, delightful, unfathomable touch.
FaceMate Page 39
