by Emma Nichole
I wipe tears from my cheeks and smile for the first time in twelve hours. “I’ll make her the biggest batch when I get back the day after tomorrow.”
The reality of that, of leaving, sinks like a brick in my stomach.
“I’ll be sure she knows. And Faith? Don’t be afraid to do whatever is best for your mental health. Even if that is leaving.”
“Thank you for understanding. That means more than you know.”
“You’re in California and the weather is beautiful. Why don’t you call an Uber, go to the beach, soak in some vitamin D, and really take a moment of serenity to think. Take advantage of the locale.”
“That’s not a bad idea. If I don’t, I’ll stay locked up in this room and if anything, that’s just going to make things worse.”
“Good. That makes me happy. Call me if you need anything, all right?”
“I will.”
But I don’t want to go to the beach.
No.
There is only one place I can go right now where I will feel at peace. Where I can really think.
I open my phone and order a ride on a rideshare app before quickly getting dressed and heading out.
Falcon
“Falc. Come on, man, you have a workout to get to.” Joe is pounding on my hotel room door, but I don’t move from where I am on the bed.
I have no desire to get up and see anyone today. I don’t want to work out. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to do anything but lie right the fuck here and think about what a damn idiot I am.
“Don’t make me call security to open this door to check on your well-being. I’ll do it. I’m not afraid to cause a scene.”
Christ sake.
“I’m fine, Joe,” I call out from the bed, as I rise from it and trudge across the room to pull it open. “See. I’m fine.” I motion to my body. “You can go now.”
He sticks his hand in the door to stop it from closing. “What the hell is going on?”
“Faith left. She left me, and no, I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll show up in the gym in an hour if you’ll just leave me alone. All right?”
He sighs heavily. “Keep your mind clear, Falc. If you’ve ever needed it for any fight, it’s this one.”
“I’m always clear for the Octagon. I’ll be there.”
My answer satisfies him enough that he turns and heads back into the hallway as the door closes.
No sooner do I collapse back in bed does my cell phone ring from the nightstand beside me.
I scramble to answer, not even looking at the screen.
“Baby? Faith?”
“Not quite,” Case says through the phone.
“Fuck. Sorry. I just thought it might be Faith.”
“Nope. Just her pseudo big brother, who is calling to find out why you decided to break her heart, when I remember very clearly threatening your life if you ever hurt her.”
“Go for it. Nothing could be worse than what I’m feeling right now.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Honestly, I always thought you were smarter than this.”
“Excuse me?”
“You let someone like Faith, a fucking catch: beautiful, smart, caring, entirely too good for you, walk out the door and you didn’t even go after her.”
“What did you want me to do? She wanted to leave. I wasn’t going to forcibly make her stay, Case. That’s worse.”
“Did you even try? Did you even stop her at all?”
“How could I? She wanted to go. She made it very clear to me, so I just watched her go and stayed here licking my fucking wounds with a broken heart.”
“You fucked up, man. You really did.” He laughs a bit and it does nothing but piss me off.
“Are you trying to make this worse than it already is? Give me a fucking break here.”
“No, but you are so eager to fight for yourself, but you weren’t even willing to fight for her.”
His words ring in my ears loudly, really sinking into that thick skull of mine and making a home for themselves in my cerebellum.
“I’m a fucking idiot,” I whisper.
“Glad you could join us in what we all know now.”
“Watch it, Officer Asshole.”
“That girl is my family, and I won’t stand for anything hurting her, and you putting yourself at risk not only hurts her, but it hurts my fiancée. That’s double me being pissed the fuck off because my girls are upset.”
“I don’t know what you expect me to do, man. I really don’t.” I begin pacing the room. An uneasy energy starts to course through my blood.
“I want you to stop making the women I care about cry. That’s the first thing I need from you. Once you do that, then we can talk. I told you if you hurt Faith in any way, I would end you. I meant it. That girl is brokenhearted. That is more than obvious.”
“How do you know? Where is she? Have you talked to her?”
“Why would I tell you anything about her? You had your chance. Why do you deserve another?” Case growls.
“Don’t you play with me right now, Case. I’m really on fucking edge and games are the last thing I need. If you know where she is, and you aren’t telling me, you’re crossing a major line. I can’t be expected to make it right if you’re going to stand in my way. Where is she?”
“You know Faith, probably better than I do. You tell me where you think she is right now.”
“I don’t know. She left, so I assumed that meant she was going back to Georgia. I’ve been trying to call her all damn night.”
“Think harder. She loves you, right? Told you so herself? Do you honestly think she could go anywhere without making sure you were okay first? Is that the Faith you know?”
Realization busts into my brain like a freight train through a brick wall.
“She’s still here.”
“You didn’t hear it from me.”
I check the time. “Look, Case, I have to go. I have the weigh-in soon, and I have a couple workouts first.”
“Are you serious? After everything we just talked about? Tell me you’re joking. Your sister is going to lose her damn mind, and then I’ll have to lose mine, and I promise you don’t want to see that.”
“This is all I know, Case. I need to meet it head on before I can move forward. Just…trust me, okay? I need someone to just trust me.”
“Earn it first. Earn my trust, then you’ll always have it. And earn hers, Falcon. Show her. If you care about her, show her.”
“How? How can I do that? I’ve shown her. I’ve told her.”
“Christ, it’s like you’ve never done this before.”
“I haven’t. No one, nothing, has meant this much to me.”
“Listen to what you just said. Let that sink in...then you’ll know what you need to do.”
With that...he hangs up the phone, leaving me with one thousand questions, and only one answer.
Chapter 30
Faith
Finding the overlook at Marco took me to after the meeting on my second day here in California was honestly easier than I thought.
I asked the Uber driver to drop me off just a short walk away because I didn’t want anyone to come up there with me, even to drop me off.
It feels sacred here.
I am sitting on a rock that is just high enough I can see out over the raging Pacific Ocean, and the salty breeze is brushing my face.
I love the beaches in Savannah off of Tybee Island, but there is something to be said about these West Coast waters.
I’ve been sitting here for so long, I’m certain I look like an insane person to an outsider, but it is bringing so much clarity to me.
Not just with Marco, but with my life as a whole.
The man who attacked me that night in college didn’t break me.
At least not all of me.
He damaged small parts of me, but those parts are growing back even stronger than they were before, and they will only continue to grow with each day that passes.
I want to help people who need it. Those who are so scared they think they have nowhere to turn. I want to show them being brave is possible and that even at rock bottom, you can overcome anything life throws at you.
Even when life throws you a six foot three inch brooding fighter with a beautiful smile who is too stubborn for his own good.
All I want is for him to understand he doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone. That there is no shame is stepping away, but he’s scared. I know that now.
He’s scared because he doesn’t know what his life will look like once his career comes to an end. The unknown is a scary thing. I know that just as much as he does, and I can completely understand it.
He wants to prove to himself, to Nora, to me, to everyone he can, and he will protect himself and his family no matter the cost. While I love that about him, it’s so incredibly stupid.
But maybe I’m just as stupid for walking away? For letting him think that fighting really is all he has in his life?
I check the time on my cell phone.
“Shit.”
The weigh-in started forty-five minutes ago.
I couldn’t watch it. I couldn’t bring myself to see his face yet, even if through a screen, but now, my fingers are itching to pull it up on my phone to watch it.
I miss the hell out of him.
But I can’t sit on the sidelines and watch him choose risking his life over me. Over everyone.
I want more for myself and more for him.
I stand and take in the view one last time before firing up my Uber app and ordering a car.
When I slide into the back seat ten minutes later, my cell phone pings in my hand with one, single text.
Nora: Open Twitter. Trust me.
I tap the little blue bird icon and it’s immediately clear why she told me to do this.
Marco is a trending topic nationwide.
“Oh my God,” I whisper to myself before I even click the first link. “What did you do?”
I scroll through until I find a trusted account and click open the video, they tweeted out just ten minutes ago.
I can see two tables: one with a blue tablecloth and Falcon’s logo, the other with a green tablecloth and what I can only assume is Braxton’s logo.
Both men are sitting behind theirs with security in between them, taking questions from the press in front of them.
It’s your typical post weigh-in press conference.
Braxton is being a cocky fuck, answering questions about he’s guaranteeing a victory tomorrow and his voice makes me cringe.
That changes when Marco opens his mouth to speak next. His voice is silky smooth. It wraps around me like a warm blanket and tugs deep at the knot forming in my throat.
I’m crying just from seeing his face. Damn it.
“Actually, before we go any further, I do have a bit of an announcement,” Marco says, and the room explodes with questions and he raises his hands to quiet them down.
I stare down at my phone as the Uber merges onto the freeway, waiting to hear what he has to say.
“As you all know, I’ve been doing this a long time. Since I was a little kid, really. Too damn young for it, if we are honest. I’ve shared my story before and shared that I did it because I was tasked with raising my sister after our parents passed away. Fighting is what I did, it’s what I was good at, it’s all I was good at. Why would you ever stop doing what you’re good at?”
I slide my hand to my chest and rest it over my racing heart and hot tears begin to pool in my eyes, wishing I could crawl through this phone right now and wrap him in my arms.
“But sometimes, your body just knows when to call it quits. I met a woman recently who…” He looks down and scratches his chin with a grin that I can’t help but match. “…frankly knocked my world off of its axis. She has given me something new I want to fight for, and in order do to that, I have to lay certain fights to rest. With that being said, as of this moment, I am officially retired from Mixed Martial Arts.”
The sob I was trying so hard to hold in bursts free and I have to cover my mouth as the tears stream down my cheeks. My Uber driver even checks on me, but I reassure him that I’m okay.
I’m not looking at my phone anymore, hell, I couldn’t even see it if tried because my vision is so blurred with tears.
But I can hear it. It’s loud and insane much like the ending of Iron Man when Tony Stark gave his famous declaration.
I take a few deep breaths then wipe my eyes about the time the video cuts off. I swipe to rewind it a bit and see that as soon as he made his announcement, he left the stage, not taking any questions.
I exit the video and scroll through more tweets, seeing the same video but from different angles.
He is choosing me. He’s choosing his safety. He’s choosing himself in the way I needed him too.
“How far we from the hotel?” I ask my Uber driver.
I want nothing more in this moment than to go find him as fast as possible.
***
After the longest forty-five minute ride of my life, I walk through the lobby to see that most of the crowd has dispersed, save for the few lingerers trying to determine what they are doing with their day tomorrow since the main event is no longer happening.
I look around for him, for Joe, for anyone, but I don’t see a thing.
I take the elevator up to his floor and step off into the hallway. It’s eerily quiet. I can hear my heart beating through my chest when I stop outside of his door, cursing myself for not taking a key with me before I stormed the last time I was in there.
“Please be here. Please be here.” I knock on his door.
Nothing.
I knock again.
Nothing.
“Shit.” I drop my head to the wooden door and close my eyes.
I stand there, waiting to hear any type of movement on the other side before finally giving up and walking back down to the elevator and calling his cell phone. I’m sent straight to voicemail as the doors close and I begin the two-floor descent to my room.
“Marco…it’s me. I saw what you did. I’m so proud of you for it too. I love you so much more than I can possibly put into words.”
The elevator pings, the doors slide open, and I step out into the hall and turn left toward my room.
“I just want to talk. I want to hold you…” I continue into my phone.
I finally look up from the floor as I walk and halt in my tracks when I see him.
He’s there, right there, sitting on the floor by my hotel room door with his head tilted back against the wall and his knees bent, his elbows resting on each of them.
I lower the phone from my ear and slip it into my bag. He must sense the movement, because he angles his face toward me and sits up when our eyes connect.
We don’t say anything. We don’t have to.
The energy pulsing between us and the sheer desire to just be in each other’s arms sends my feet racing down the hallway toward him, and by the time he is standing up straight, I’m colliding with his body.
Falcon
I never once realized how addicted to her scent I was until I didn’t have it for twenty-four hours. She has this citrus, floral, sweet thing happening on her skin that is more intoxicating than the best whiskey I’ve ever had.
She’s back in my arms, where I’ve wanted her for an entire day, and she’s trembling. I can hear her sobs against my shoulders.
“No, don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”
I cup her cheeks and stare down at her face.
“How did you know I was here?” she asks.
“Case. He ratted you out.” I smile. “Then I had Joe sweet talk the older woman at the front desk for your room number.”
“I saw what you did. I saw the press conference. Marco, I’m so proud of you. I know it wasn’t easy.”
“Havin
g you at the other side of it made it easier than you could have ever imagined. I just had to get myself in check first. I needed a swift kick in the ass.” I use my thumbs to wipe her tears away.
“I’m so sorry for walking away. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I think it’s what I needed. Faith, I’ve been so scared for so damn long of what my life will be once I’m done fighting, because it was something I never thought about. Fighting was never going to end for me, until the day I realized it was, or it would kill me. I never thought about what my life with be after I hang it up…and then I met you.”
She curls her fingers into the material of the T-shirt on my chest, like she’s trying to keep me anchored to her, like I’m going to float away.
“I saw days spent in bed having sex or not, even just talking. I saw making dinner together and going out to movies. I saw dates, and fights, and make-up sex. I saw marriage and even kids if that’s something you want. Faith, all of those things are what I want in my future and I want them with you. I want the good and the bad. The exciting and boring. Fuck, baby, I just want a life with you.”
She closes her eyes and more tears slip free and I rest my forehead on hers and whisper softly, “I’m in love with you, Faith. I think I have been since the moment I laid eyes on you. I just needed my mind and body to catch up to see that there is more to life…more to live for…than fighting.”
She still hasn’t said anything and to be honest, I’m starting to panic.
“Baby, please say something. Anything.”
She sniffs a bit and brings her eyes back to mine.
“Marco Masen, you are the most frustrating, incredible, sweet, caring, phenomenal person I’ve ever met in my life, and the fact that you want to be with me, a girl with so much baggage she could build a fort out of it…”
“I’ll carry it with you and besides, I like forts.”
She throws her arms around me and smashes her lips to mine.
“I love you, Marco. I love you and I want you for as long as you’ll have me.”
