by J. S. Lee
ONYX: Forever
Onyx, Book 5
An Atlantis Entertainment Novel
J. S. Lee
Axellia Publishing
Onyx: Forever
Copyright © 2020 J. S. Lee
All rights reserved.
First edition, May 2020
Published by Axellia Publishing
Print ISBN: 978-1-912644-93-3
eBook AISN: B086YQHKQV
Cover design by Natasha Snow Designs;
www.natashasnowdesigns.com
Onyx logo by Shezna Love
Edited by C. Lesley
Proofread by S. Harvell
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval systems, in any forms or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, unless for the purpose of a review which may quote brief passages for a review purpose.
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locations are used fictitiously. Other characters, names, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblances to actual events, locations, or persons – living or dead – is entirely coincidental.
CONTENTS
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
THE ATLANTIS ENTERTAINMENT UNIVERSE
K-101
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Epilogue
CHAPTER TITLES
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHARACTER BIOGRAPHIES
ATLANTIS ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
WAYS TO CONNECT
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to the following idols whose visuals* helped inspire Onyx and bring this series to life, and added to the soundtrack which allowed me to write:
Bang Chan
Lee Hoseok (Wonho)
Seo Kangjoon
Kang Daniel
Lim Jaebeom (JB)
Choi Chunghyeop (Baron)
And of course, Lee Jongsuk
*Visuals only, guys! Onyx are kinky AF – I don’t want to make a sweeping statement on those idols listed above. I mean, they’re men and some of them quite possibly are, but I’ll leave that to your fantasies…
THE ATLANTIS ENTERTAINMENT UNIVERSE
Reverse Harem
(As J. S. Lee)
H3RO
Idol Thoughts
Idol Worship
Idol Gossip
Coming Soon
Idol Threats
(Available exclusively in the Wicked Souls Collection)
Onyx
ONYX: Truth
ONYX: Heart
ONYX: Love
ONYX: Unity
ONYX: Forever
Young Adult Contemporary Romance
(As Ji Soo Lee)
Zodiac
The Idol Who Became Her World
The Girl Who Gave Him The Moon
The Dancer Who Saved Her Soul
The Leader Who Fell From The Sky
Coming Soon
The Boy Who Showed Her The Stars
Serenity Ackles & J. S. Lee
Reverse Harem
The Goddess of Fate & Destiny
Cursed Luck
Stolen Luck
Coming Soon
Twisted Luck
Chosen Luck
K-101
For those of you unfamiliar with K-Pop / K-Dramas / Korean culture, here’s a short handy guide:
Names in Korean are written family name then given name. It’s not uncommon to use the full name when addressing a person – even one you’re close to.
김영빈 is the Korean way of writing Kim Youngbin.
윤지원 is the Korean way of writing Yoon Jiwon – pronounced like Gee-one
임종섭 is the Korean way of writing Im Jongsub (JongB)
공민혁 is the Korean way of writing Gong Minhyuk (MinMin)
렌용식 is the Korean way of writing Ren Yongsik. However, as Yongsik goes by his stage name, CX, it would be written 시엑스.
Xiao is a little different he is Chinese. It would therefore be spelled out phonetically in Korean. (For those curious, it would be 샤오 which is really hard to write phonetically in English but would be pronounced she-yaow – run it all together to make one syllable.)
Surnames (Family names)
As the western worlds combined, we ended up with a lot of variation in surnames. In Korea, although there is variation, you will find a lot Kims, Lees, and Parks. To try to keep things as easy to follow as possible, I have tried to make sure that all characters don’t have the same surname unless they’re in the same family – like Holly. However, in reality, this is most often not the case.
BTS, for example have Kim Namjoon (RM), Kim Seokjin (Jin), and Kim Taehyung (V). They all share the same family name, but they are not related.
Oppa (오빠), hyung (형), noona (누나), and oennie (언니)
This one gets a little confusing at first. The first thing you need to know, in Korea, age is a very important thing. It’s not uncommon for you to be asked your age before your name because you need to be spoken to with the correct level of respect (known as honorifics). To show this, there’s actually several ways to speak to address a person and it usually depends on your age (an exception to this might be in a place of work where someone younger than you is more senior to you). But I’ll keep this simple and limit myself to terms used in the book.
Traditionally, oppa, hyung, noona, and unnie are terms used to describe your older sibling – depending on what sex you are and what sex they are. If you are male, your older brother is hyung and your older sister is noona. If you are female, your older brother is your oppa, and your older sister is unnie (technically, 언니 when Romanized is oennie, but unnie has become a more standard way of writing this). However, this can often be transferred to people you are close to. A girl will call her older boyfriend oppa. An idol will call his older groupmates hyung.
Sunbae (선배) and Hoobae (후배)
Along the same vein, sunbae (senior) and hoobae (junior) may be used as an alternative when using experience as a basis, rather than age.
Other
Comeback: this is an odd one for most people. Your next single isn’t just your next single. It’s a comeback – and it doesn’t matter if you’ve waited two months or two years.
Kakao: Kakao is a messaging app similar to Whatsapp or WeChat.
SNS: What we would call Social Media, Koreans use the term Social Networking Service. Included in this would be V Live, an app which allows Korean idols to communicate with their fans (a bit like Instagram Live)
화이팅: Fighting, or ‘hwaiting’ is a word commonly used as encouragement, like ‘good luck’ or ‘let’s do this’.
Maknae: a term used for the youngest member of a group.
‘Ya!’: The Korean equivalent to ‘Hey!’
제 X 장: Chapter (pronounced jae X jang)
AAA Pass: Access Al
l Areas Pass. Usually reserved for artists and key members of staff – this is the pass that will let you backstage and in areas like the green room.
Tián xīn: This Chinese term of endearment for sweetheart.
Character Bios are also available at the back of this book
More terms and information is available on Ji Soo’s website:
www.jislooleeauthor.com/k101
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I was one of those people who had never figured out what they wanted from life until it hit them. Back in high school, when everyone was making plans to go to college and choose their majors, I was putting names of colleges and courses into a box and pulling them out at random. That was how I ended up in Chicago studying Japanese.
Half of my female friends had their colleges and careers planned out, and the other half had decided that college was where they were going to meet their future husbands and had already shortlisted their favorite boys and girls names.
It was only through being at college that I had discovered that I loved photography and that I wasn’t half bad at it. As for this job with Onyx; I’d fallen into this one because my best friend had turned out to be an heiress to an entertainment company.
I’d been happy with that. Life was uncertain and not having a plan worked for me.
Until now.
Now, I had no plan and I was terrified.
Not only did I have no plan, I was also pregnant.
The screen on the back of the chair in front of me went bright as the film I hadn’t been watching ended and the home screen automatically flicked on. Blinking from the brightness, I leaned over and selected the next film without really caring what it was.
Onyx had finished up their tour in South America and we were on a plane up to Los Angeles. We had just over two days there before we were flying back to Seoul for the final tour date which they’d rescheduled thanks to the accident.
I wasn’t sure why we were stopping in LA. It had been in the schedule since we left for the final leg of the tour. At some point it had been decided that Youngbin was going to film a music video for his mixtape, but I was planning on using that time to escape.
While time had passed since I had told everyone that I was pregnant, we had all been caught up in the whirlwind wrap-up of the tour. After the initial shock, none of us had really had the time to process everything. It had been straight to Peru for the last show in South America, and then almost straight on to the airport for this flight.
A hand wrapped around mine, snapping me out of my thoughts. “What’s wrong?” Sungmin asked, groggily.
“Nothing.”
“You’re rubbing your stomach. Is everything OK?”
I glanced down at my hand, now wrapped in his. I had been rubbing at my stomach as he had said, but I hadn’t really noticed. “It’s not the baby,” I assured him. I’d felt like there were pterodactyls flying around in there since I’d gone to tell the guys I was pregnant and there was an unease that I hadn’t been able to shake even after they had all assured me that they were happy.
This was why we needed space so I – so we – could really have time to process this.
Them, more than me.
I loved them. I loved them all more than I thought was possible. And I was sure they loved me too. But they all loved being idols and Jiwon had been the first to declare that an idol’s life was practically over if they got pregnant. I wanted to be able to give them all a little space and time to be able to work out what they really wanted.
I knew what I wanted.
I was keeping the baby. I wanted the baby, and I was hoping that they did too.
But I was also extremely aware that idols couldn’t date without fans going crazy (and not in a good way). Hell, the fact I wasn’t Asian, older than half of them, and dating all of them was as good as us carving out our names on our own tombstones, but throw in the fact that one of them had gotten me pregnant?
I needed them to really think about what they wanted, and there was no way I was going to hold it against any of them if they decided that this wasn’t it.
I turned to Sungmin and found him watching me. He still hadn’t let go of my hand, and strangely, I was grateful for that.
Sungmin was tall and lean, and honestly, I thought he was good looking enough that he could have been an idol, even with the scar on his face. He was extremely self-conscious of it though and I knew with absolute certainty it was because his fiancée had abandoned him at the altar on his wedding day. Because of that, and the fact he was walking with a limp, thanks to the accident.
“When we get to LA, I’m going to drive back to Vegas,” I told him.
“Kate,” he sighed. “We can’t go to Las Vegas. We have-”
“Me,” I said, cutting him off as I shook my head. “I am going to Vegas. I don’t need you guys to come with me.”
“Kate,” he said again.
“I’m pregnant, not ill. Vegas is only a few hours’ drive and I need to see my mom.” I glanced past him. On the other side of the aisle, MinMin was curled up into Xiao and both were fast asleep. I glanced around the plane at the other members, everyone else apart from Sungmin was asleep. It had been a long tour and we’d caught an early morning flight back to LA. “And they need some time to think about things without feeling obligated to give me the answer that they think I want.”
“Jiwon came back,” Sungmin said, gently.
“I know, and I think he means it too, but I want to give the others the opportunity to make sure that’s what they want too.” I sighed and slumped back into the chair. “We’re talking about a baby, Sungmin. I just…” I couldn’t say it out loud, but I was scared that this would somehow become public and that Onyx would get so much hate. I didn’t want to be responsible for that, but more importantly, I didn’t want an unborn baby to be carrying that burden. “I need them to be as sure as they can be.”
Sungmin swiveled in his seat, his blanket slipping slightly as he used his body to block out MinMin and Xiao behind him. “I’ve heard enough of the conversations between all of you to know that’s going to upset them. I don’t know if most American men are expecting their girlfriends to get pregnant all the time and they’re never surprised by the news, but we’re not. And these guys are idols; yes, they want families, but normally, that happens after their contracts end or are renewed.”
“I’m not running away, and I have no intention of hiding out at my mother’s place,” I told him. “I have no idea how any of this is going to work, and that kind of terrifies me, but I want to have this baby with them. I expect them to be surprised and I expect them to be scared, because I am. But I’m carrying this baby and I’ve made my choice; I want to have it. I want the guys to have the opportunity to really think about what they want. The easiest way for them to do that is if I’m not around.”
Spending all the time around the group and their team, speaking a hybrid of Korean, Japanese and English meant that as a whole, our language skills were improving. My Korean was much better than it had been only a few months ago, but there were times when I felt I struggled, especially when it came to Sungmin.
This was one of those times. He was watching me with a slight frown on his face as his gaze flicked between my mouth and my eyes as I spoke. When I had finished, I could almost see him replaying the conversation in his head. I was doing the same, trying to make sure my language skills were covering baby basics.
“Then I will come to Las Vegas with you,” he said, suddenly.
“I want to go to Vegas to have some distance between me and Onyx,” I sighed, realizing I had failed miserably in trying to get my message across. I reached for my phone, charging in the pocket in the back of the seat in front of me, when Sungmin reached over and took my hand so that he was now holding both of them.
“Just me and you,” he clarified. “Onyx can stay with the rest of the team. When we arrive in LA it will be afternoon. You will be arriving back in Las Vegas in the evening. If I g
o, they won’t worry as much and we will know you will come back.”
I don’t know why that made me feel better, but it did. I wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of going back home. Aside from a few messages from my mom when I had been in Europe, berating me for sending Damien to prison (because that was clearly my fault), I’d barely heard from her.
But she was still my mom.
“We will be landing in a few hours and you haven’t had any sleep,” Sungmin pointed out. He released my hands, only to reach over for my blanket and pull it back up. “It won’t be long before they come around with breakfast. Get some sleep.”
I relaxed back into the seat and watched as Sungmin fussed around me, untangling my headphones to tuck them to the side, and turn the screen off. This was… weird. This wasn’t what I expected from Sungmin, but I supposed our friendship had improved recently.
I closed my eyes to keep Sungmin happy, but I didn’t sleep.
Needless to say, when we landed in LA, I was exhausted.
“Are you OK?” JongB asked for the umpteenth time as we stood in line. Being the only two with American passports, we were in a much shorter line than the others at Border Control.
“I’m just tired,” I told him, wearily repeating the same statement I had been saying since we got off the plane.
“You should let me carry that,” JongB said, trying to take my rucksack off me. Again.
I batted his hand away. “I’d rather not make a scene in front of the TSA, but I swear I will put you in a headlock if you keep fussing over me.” JongB’s eyes went wide and then he pulled out his phone, quickly tapping out a message. I rolled my eyes. “Don’t pretend you can’t see that poster saying ‘No phones’ over there, because even if you do start speaking Korean at the police, they’re going to point out it’s got a picture of a giant phone with a red line through it.”
Sheepishly, JongB slipped his phone into his pocket, casting a glance at the nearby TSA agent to see if he had been spotted. “Have you thought about names yet?” he asked me.
