Onyx: Forever

by J. S. Lee

  I’d tried a few times to clear the air, but he’d always escaped from the room, claiming a fake phone call, or some other bullshit. The guys might have thought they’d given me the ‘green light’ on something, but the longer I spent with him, the more I was inclined to believe everyone had been sniffing the same glue and hallucinating.

  I spent most of my time napping or taking walks around the neighborhood. Needless to say, I was excited when my first job came in. And it had me on a road trip. It was only to the countryside, but it was out of the city. Even better, it was with a group I was familiar with, having done photography for them before; 1SO: Fire.

  In only six months, they had aged a little. Not in a bad way; just in a way which made them dangerously attractive. The youngest member was positively lethal looking, and I was sure he was going to have some new fans freaking out when they realized he was under twenty. Kota, their Japanese member, was talking more in Korean. He’d improved as much as I had, but it was nice to talk to him in Japanese.

  It was also the group with Holly’s brother. The one that we liked. Apparently. I still thought he was arrogant, but Holly was adamant he was OK. Their final member looked exhausted though. If he had side gigs, he needed to slow them down, because he looked like he was going to drop.

  But on film, you’d never tell. They all photographed beautifully, wearing nothing on their top half other than glitter. Naturally, I’d somehow managed to get covered in it myself during the two-day shoot.

  It was only a few hours’ drive back to the house, but we’d finished late and I slept for most of the way, waking only when the driver politely woke me. I grabbed my bag, and stepped out of the car, thanking him. It seemed to be muggier back in Seoul. There were also a ton of mosquitos about. I slapped one off my skin and hurried inside.

  “What are you covered in?” Sungmin asked, stopping and staring at me. He’d been crossing the living room to the kitchen but had done a double take when he saw me.

  “This is the point where I hope the answer to this is glitter and not mosquitos,” I said, glancing down at my arms.

  “It’s glitter,” he assured me. He looked like he was going to disappear, but he stopped. “How did the shoot go?”

  “It was nice to be out of the house,” I admitted as I carefully deposited my backpack on the floor and moved over to flop on the couch. “It was nice to have people to talk to. I guess I got used to the guys always being around. I miss them.”

  “Your belly got bigger.”

  Stunned, I looked up at Sungmin’s outburst. He turned pink. “Yes, babies make that happen,” I said, deadpan. “It’s been growing for almost twelve weeks now. In fact, I have a scan tomorrow.”

  “I just didn’t notice it before,” Sungmin muttered, walking off into the kitchen.

  He hadn’t noticed it because we barely saw each other when we were under the same roof. And when we were in the same room, it was rarely for longer than ten seconds before he would disappear. This was probably the longest conversation we’d had in weeks.

  With a groan, I pulled myself off the couch and walked into the kitchen, blocking Sungmin’s escape route. “I’m sorry I walked in on you that day,” I told him. “I know you’ve been embarrassed, and I know you’ve been avoiding me, but I’m sorry.”

  “It’s OK,” Sungmin muttered, refusing to look at me as he pulled a glass out of the cupboard and busied himself pouring a glass of water.

  “It’s clearly not OK if you can’t look at me,” I pointed out. “Or is it that you don’t like me looking at you?” I moved over to him, stopping right in front of him, almost in his personal space. “Sungmin, you are ridiculously handsome, and a little scar doesn’t change that.”

  Sungmin’s head whipped up for his eyes to meet mine. “It’s not little.”

  “It might not feel like it to you, but it’s not the first thing I see when I look at you. It’s not the second. Hell, if you’re not wearing clothes, it drops down to the bottom of the list,” I added, trying to make light of the situation.

  The joke was lost on Sungmin. He shook his head, stepping around me, and hurried out of the room.

  I was at a loss. While we were on tour, especially in the last few weeks, we had been getting on. This was completely weird, and I had no idea why.

  I wasn’t surprised when the weirdness was still there in the morning. It was time for my twelve-week checkup and Sungmin was taking me again. This time, I waited on the couch; I was not going near his room. “I can get a taxi,” I offered when he eventually appeared.

  “It’s fine,” he responded, gruffly.

  By the time we got to the hospital, I was wishing I had gotten the taxi, regardless. Once more I had spent the ride in the back of his car, surrounded by awkward silence. It made it even more surprising when he walked in with me. At this point, I fully expected him to wait in the car.

  The checkup was fine. Baby Gem was growing as he or she should, which wasn’t much considering it was about five centimeters and my bump was making it look bigger than that. I even had a print out of the scan, once they had promised me that there was no way to tell what sex the baby was from the scan.

  I’d spent most of the appointment staring in disbelief at the monitor. Considering Baby Gem was smaller than the palm of my hand, I could see a head and a torso.

  I walked back to the waiting area, staring at the piece of paper. Sungmin was waiting for me and we walked in silence to the elevator. It wasn’t until we were heading down, that he finally looked over. “What’s that?”

  I held the printout out for him. “Baby Gem.”

  Sungmin took it, going quiet. “She’s beautiful.”

  “We don’t know it’s a ‘she’ yet,” I reminded him as the doors to the elevator pinged open. We stepped out into the parking lot. “And what makes you think it’s a girl?” Sungmin stopped suddenly.

  I frowned, but took the scan off him, wishing I could take a photograph and send it to Onyx. With their schedules so crazy, I couldn’t risk it. Instead, I started tucking the scan carefully into my purse. And then I realized I’d zoned out and someone was stood in my way. “I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off as I looked up and saw a familiar face in front of me.

  “Ko Moonhee? What are you doing here?”

  The question came from Sungmin. I half turned, expecting him to be close to having a meltdown, but I was surprised to see the calm on him. Ko Moonhee was a stunning ex-girl group idol in her late thirties. She was also the cold, heartless bitch who had left Sungmin at the alter because of the scar on his face.

  “I’ve come for my vitamin injection,” she replied, still not looking at me. “What are you doing here?” she gestured to her face with a questioning look.

  The private hospital had several specialties besides obstetrics and gynecology. There was a department who did non-emergency elective surgery, and another one which was apparently a very good cosmetic surgery department – which my suspicious mind had Moonhee going to, because what the hell was a vitamin injection?

  But was she implying that Sungmin was here for plastic surgery?

  My hand curled into a fist around the strap of my purse. “He’s here with me,” I said, without thinking.

  Moonhee’s attention switched to me, her eyes sweeping over my body before settling on the slight bump on my body. “Who are you?” she asked, clearly not recognizing me.

  “No one I want to introduce you to,” Sungmin responded, curtly. The palm of his hand settled into the small of my back. “We should go,” he said to me, gently guiding me past Moonhee.

  “Couldn’t wait to jump into bed with someone else, could you,” she called after him.

  “Ignore her,” Sungmin hissed at me. I glanced up at him; his jaw was tight, and I could see the tension around his eyes.

  “Well, I’m happy you found someone, at least,” Moonhee added.

  I whirled around, ignoring Sungmin’s protests, and stared at her, trying to work out if she was somehow being si
ncere with her backhanded compliment, or if she was just trying to hurt him. “Excuse me?”

  “His scar,” Moonhee clarified. “I guess you’re a better person than I am.”

  The weird thing was that I genuinely thought she believed she was being nice. And I would have let it go… if it wasn’t for the sharp intake of breath beside me.

  “How can the only thing you see be a small scar?” I asked her in disbelief. “You had the opportunity to marry a trustworthy and honorable man who is polite and respectful and would do anything for the people he cares for.” Moonhee stared at me, stunned. “But you got hung up on something superficial, which…” I turned and grabbed Sungmin’s hand pulling him forward, “look at him! The man is gorgeous, and when he does occasionally smile because he’s so serious, he has a beautiful smile. And underneath those clothes he has a body to die for. He’s a whole package right there, and you turned it down? I think you should be asking that doctor to prescribe you something stronger than a vitamin injection, because girl, you’re crazy.” I twirled my finger around my ear.

  “How do you know what his body looks like?”

  That was what she picked up on.

  “Kate, let’s just-”

  “How do you think this happened?” I asked her, using both hands to point at my stomach. I tilted my head. “Or do you need a refresher on how that works?” I asked, raising my hands; one creating a small circle while the other poked a finger back and forth through it.

  As Moonhee’s mouth fell open, I sensed Sungmin leaning down. I turned my head, just as he pressed his lips against me.

  He’d obviously been aiming for my cheek, because he didn’t completely get my mouth. He stepped back, stunned.

  Before I could let Moonhee tell that wasn’t intentional and ruin all of this, I grabbed his hand. “Let’s go, honey. Baby needs ice cream.” I led him towards the car, which was, mercifully, out of sight of the elevators and Moonhee. I let out a sigh and looked up at Sungmin.

  In an instant, I knew I had just made things infinitely worse between us. The tensed jaw was back, and he was refusing to meet my eye. He unlocked the car, opening the rear door.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him. “But she had no right to make you feel like-”

  “You have no idea what I’m feeling, Kate,” he said, tightly. He didn’t even wait for me to get in the car as he walked around to the driver’s side and got in himself.

  He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night.

  제19 장

  Tattoo

  Hello Kitty was staring at me. On Onyx’s comeback stage, dressed all in white and silver, Xiao had shared his tattoo with the world. Fans were going insane.

  It definitely wasn’t intentional. He’d had a slight wardrobe malfunction – which was another reason for the hyped fan reaction. He, like the rest of the group, were wearing leather pants. His, JongB’s and Jiwon’s, all had slits in them, a bit like ripped jeans, only the rips had lace in them.

  Xiao had thick, muscular thighs – he’d never skipped on leg day when he was at the gym – and the pants were already tight on him. But during the first bridge, he’d dropped into a lunge while simultaneously thrusting, and it had ripped the lace and the seam, leaving a hole which had the face of Hello Kitty poking out of.

  I already knew about the other tattoo. In the same place, on his other thigh, he’d a quote written in Chinese which was dedicated to Onyx’s fans. Despite the shorts he favored, they’d somehow never discovered that one.

  Of course, the one that they did see was of Hello Kitty.

  I stared at the television screen, the image on pause. He was going to cop some crap for that.

  Probably off me.

  Definitely off me.

  I pulled out my phone, finding the image all over Instagram. I screenshotted one of them and forwarded it on to Xiao. Of all the designs in the world, you went for that one?

  Whatever they were currently doing, it wasn’t recording because his response was almost instant.

  Xiao: I couldn’t exactly ask someone to tattoo your face there.

  Me: So you went for Hello Kitty? She must feel so defiled.

  Xiao: She would if she knows what goes through my mind when I’m jerking off and thinking of you in that hotel in Japan.

  I was horny and this was not helping. I hope you realize that for now until the end of time fans are just going to buy you Hello Kitty merchandise.

  Xiao: The best part is they will never know I will be creating my own Hello Kitty room, tián xīn.

  I set my phone down with a groan. Horny as hell.

  It had been five weeks since they had all been back in the house, and the last sex I’d had was with Youngbin on the studio floor, which had been a quickie. I flopped back into the sofa with a groan. They still had three weeks of promotions left, which meant I wasn’t likely to get any for a while.

  I’d gone from lots of really great sex to none. And not one person had pointed out that being pregnant would amplify everything. There were times when my own clothes brushing over my skin would turn me on.

  This. This was the real downside to dating idols.

  I flicked the music show off pause. The performance sprang back into life. The song was a winner. Literally – they were heading for an all-kill, a win on every show. And with good reason. The song was powerful, with strong dancing and heavy hitting lyrics about how they were going to protect their ‘baby’. Oh yes, they threw that one right out there, although they used the English word, and as a pet name.

  Sometimes I wanted to slap them and others I wanted to hug them. As I watched today’s performance, I wanted them in my bed.

  I wasn’t picky. The couch would also have worked.

  I grabbed my phone and sent a message to the group. You killed that stage. And me, a little. I miss you all. I can’t wait until you’re back in the house xx

  This time, there was no instant response. Whatever they were doing, they were busy. It had taken a while for them to convince me, but I was no longer worried about sending them a message. Their phones had passwords, and their Kakao app had another set of passwords. They’d turned notifications off, and then they gave their phones to Sungmin.

  Watching the music video didn’t help. In the end, I decided on a warm shower, some ‘Kate’ time, and then I fell into bed, exhausted.

  I awoke to an orgasm. With a pounding heart and my brain trying to catch up with the waves of pleasure rolling over me, I pulled back the covers, finding JongB looking up at me from between my legs. “Even when you’re asleep you can’t be quiet,” he said, grinning.

  I sat upright, still lightheaded and breathless and wondering if I was having really vivid dreams. “Are you real?”

  “There are fans who will tell you I’m not,” he said with a cocky wink. “But I am real, and I am ready to let you feel just how real I am.”

  I leaned over and flicked the lamp on before flopping back on the bed, I tried to catch my breath. “Jongsub, does anyone know you’re here, or did you sneak out again?”

  “Let’s discuss that after sex,” he told me, pressing kisses along my stomach, pushing my nightshirt up as he went.

  “So, no,” I muttered, suddenly not caring as his mouth latched around my nipple.

  “I wanted some alone time with you, and we have a few hours before we have to be at a fan meet,” he said, between kisses.

  While I was certain Sungmin was going to castrate him if he found out, I was touched. And also worried. “Are you going to get any sleep?”

  “It will be worth it,” he said, sounding like he genuinely didn’t care.

  “Roll over,” I said, suddenly.

  JongB sat up, frowning. “Huh?”

  “Just lie on your stomach,” I instructed him.

  Although pulling a face, JongB did as I requested, bringing his hands up beneath his chin. I completely pulled the covers back, unsurprised to see he was completely naked. I took the nightshirt off and then, carefully, lowered
myself onto the small of JongB’s back, making sure my legs were taking more of my weight than him.

  I leaned forward, my hands following his spine, up to his shoulder where I started massaging his muscles. JongB let out an appreciative groan, making me smile. “What’s this for?”

  “Once upon a time, I lost a bet. It was worth it, but a girls still got to pay up.” He was tight, his muscles hiding the stress he seemed to easily be able to keep from his eyes. I was rewarded with another moan as I worked at a knot in his neck.

  He’d gotten more ripped over the last few weeks. He didn’t have a muscular frame like Xiao or Jiwon, but it was getting close. His shoulders seemed to have gotten broader.

  “What time do you have to be at the studio?” I asked him.

  He took a moment to respond and I half thought he had fallen asleep. “Four.”

  “What time is it?” I asked, amazed.

  “Some time after two-ooooh!”

  I was working down his back, my hands starting to tingle. He was so tense in places, I was getting a good workout in. Slowly, I made my way down his body, paying particular attention to his butt. That was hard, and tasty looking…

  “Ow!” JongB propped himself up to look back at me. “Did you just bite my ass?”

  I looked him dead in the eye. “I can promise you, I’m not the only person who wanted to do that,” I told him, completely unapologetic.

  “You’re weird.”

  “No,” I shook my head. “I’m Kate.”

  “And my girlfriend thinks she’s punny,” he grumbled.

  “Your girlfriend is currently massaging your ass.”

  “I’m going to remember this forever,” he beamed, lowering his head back down. “I have the best girlfriend.” I took my hands off him, kneeling up. “Or not,” he grumbled, looking back.

  I arched an eyebrow. “I was going to tell you to roll over, but-”

  In a flash, JongB was on his back, arms underneath his head. Right in front of me, his cock was standing to attention. He might have been silent, but I could practically read his eyes, begging me to wrap my mouth around it.