Onyx: Forever

by J. S. Lee

  With more resolve than I thought I had, I moved further down the bed so that I could massage his thighs, keeping my attention on his legs and trying to ignore the ache between my legs.

  “My girlfriend is the most beautiful woman in the world,” JongB sighed happily. His eyes hooded as he watched me.

  I switched to his other thigh. He really had become lean – they were solid. Slowly, I worked upwards until I got to his balls, gently cupping them. JongB cursed, his hand suddenly covering his eyes. I froze, and he peeped at me through his fingers. “Don’t stop!” My touch was light and gentle, but it was enough to get JongB cursing again. “Fuck, yes,” he grunted.

  I moved to his shaft, taking it firmly in my hand. He bucked straight into me before propping himself up. When I looked at him, he was watching my hands with a burning intensity. I ran my hand up and down it several times before I lowered my mouth, taking him deep into my throat.

  Taking care to lick as much of his length as I could, I returned to running my hand up and down with steady strokes, my other hand returning to his balls.

  “You’ve got to go a little faster, beautiful,” JongB told me.

  I ignored him, carefully keeping the same pace.

  His hands cover mine, trying to get me to stroke his cock with a little more vigor. I batted them away. “No,” I warned him.

  It lasted two minutes before his hands were back. Once more I swatted them away, but instead of returning my hands to his cock, I placed one on his chest, using it to steady myself, and then I maneuvered myself on top of him, easing his cock into me.

  I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of him filling me. “Oh, that feels good,” he said, it almost sounding like a purr. Beneath my hand, I could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

  I ran my hands over his chest, smiling in amusement as he groaned when they skimmed his nipples. And then I continued the massage of his shoulders, doing my best not to wiggle around with his cock inside me.

  “You’re not playing fair,” he complained.

  Tilting my head, I stared down at him. “I have been at home, alone for weeks, and for most of that time, I’ve been daydreaming about having your cock inside me,” I told him. “This feels so good, and so satisfying.”

  “What else have you been daydreaming about?”

  “Many things,” I said, continuing with my massage. “Most of them involve me naked, end in an orgasm, and quite a few have you watching.”

  “Tell me,” he begged.

  I reached for his hands, placing them on my breasts. “You’re playing with these.” It was my turn to moan as he did that, massaging my breasts as he ran my nipples between his finger and thumb.

  “I fall asleep to the unreleased version of Youngbin’s mixtape,” he admitted as I moaned again. “That would have charted if he’d have used that version.”

  “Then, you take my nipples with your teeth,” I continued. I leaned forward, in doing so, moving along his cock. JongB took my nipple, sucking before capturing the tip between his teeth, while he pulled at the other one. “And then, I start doing this.”

  Slowly, with measured movements, I began moving my body, easing myself up and down his cock. My nipple slipped from his mouth as I did, but his fingers took back over.

  Desire eventually took over, and my resolve disappeared as I sped up. JongB’s hands flew to my waist to help me out, his gaze alternating between my breasts and my face.

  He came before I did, I continued to ride him, and then his fingers reached for my clit, working it until I orgasmed. Exhausted, I went to slide off him, but he held me in place, pulling me to him. “If you’ve been daydreaming about my cock in you, I think it’s only fair we keep it here,” he said, sleepily. He wrapped his arms around me.

  I snuggled into the crook of his neck. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, but it was exactly where I wanted to be.

  At some point, I drifted off to sleep, because I was awoken by my phone vibrating on the side. JongB’s arms were wrapped around me, his hand resting on my belly.

  The lamp was still on and my eyes were barely able to open because of the sudden brightness. I reached for my phone, almost knocking it on the floor. “Hello?”

  There was a long silence. “I am going to murder him.”

  “Sungmin?”

  “Tell JongB that if he wants to keep breathing, he had better be outside in five minutes, and that I’m going to be electronically tagging him.” He hung up on me.

  “JongB?” I said, shaking the arm wrapped around me.

  It tightened, pulling me closer. “Sleep,” he murmured.

  “I answered your phone.”

  “Don’t care. Sleep.”

  “I think you’re supposed to be at a studio,” I reminded him. “And Sungmin is going to come by and pick you up.”

  JongB let go of me and, like I was a giant wasp, leaped off the bed, almost tripping in the bedsheets. “Shit!”

  “I love seeing you, I really do, but you’ve got to stop doing this. This kind of thing is going to get you in a lot of trouble.”

  JongB flew around the room, gathering up his things. Dressed, he ran to the door, pulled it open, and then paused, as though forgetting something. He darted back to the bed and kissed me. “Worth it,” he said, swiping the phone from my hands.

  “IM JONGSUB!” Sungmin bellowed from somewhere inside the house.

  The door clicked shut behind JongB. “I’m sorry, hyungnim…! Ow!”

  There was a very good chance that Onyx was going to be a five-member group if JongB wasn’t careful.

  제20 장

  Under Cover

  The last day of Onyx’s promotions was the same day as my sixteen-week scan. I had a bigger bump now and my clothes had definitely become tight. I’d done a few more photography jobs, including one for another company, and my days had been a little more occupied with that and post-shoot touch ups, but I missed my guys.

  I’d begged Sungmin to let me into a show so that I could surprise them, and I’d even tried sneaking around his back to Holly, but they had both refused, claiming that standing with exited fangirls and fanboys who would push and shove, with the loud music, was not a suitable place for a pregnant woman.

  So, I went out and bought their album.

  And by that, I went out and bought so many of them, I had four crates in my wardrobe. I’d been complaining to a girl in the record store that it was hard to see them, and she’d explained that I needed to buy a lot of copies and I would get a ticket to a fan meet.

  A lot of copies and some luck, because they were popular and had a lot of people wanting to go.

  On the last day, my luck arrived, along with a notification on my phone that I had a ticket. My appointment with the doctor was in the afternoon, a couple of hours after the fan meet ended, which gave me time to get to the hospital. Sungmin hadn’t mentioned picking me up this time, so I assumed after the last appointment, he didn’t want to go with me anymore.

  That was fine. I was a grown up and I knew how to use a subway.

  I arrived at the venue a little late because I was wanting to surprise them, and I didn’t want to risk them seeing me stand in line when I went in. I slipped into a seat near the back, watching. Much like the fan meets on the tour, Onyx were on stage, seated behind a table as fans filed around, getting their albums signed, interacting with the members, and gave them gifts.

  Behind Xiao was an enormous pile of Hello Kitty memorabilia, exactly as I predicted. CX had a small collection of dragons, but otherwise, there were gifts of clothes, electronics, and plushies.

  They were so caught up in talking with their fans that I got almost to the stage before anyone saw me. It was MinMin. He was stretched out over the table, looking as pitiful as he could, waiting for the fan to move on from JongB before him. The cute look was gaining him a lot of ‘aws’ from his fan sites as cameras snapped away.

  He rolled his head, looking around the room, and then I saw him spot me. He sa
t up, clearly ready to wave at me, before he realized that wasn’t smart, and sent a finger heart to some girl just behind me.

  MinMin leaned over, whispering in CX’s ear. Although CX didn’t look over at me, a giant grin appeared on his face as he spoke to the guy in front of him. Thankfully, MinMin had the sense not to tell JongB.

  Youngbin didn’t see me until I sat down in front of him. His mouth dropped open. “The fuck?” he exclaimed.

  I covered my mouth as I gave the worst impression on a devoted fan with a high-pitched, slightly embarrassed giggle. “Hi oppa,” I greeted him, pushing the album in front of him.

  “You’re insane,” he muttered, but he gave me a bright smile.

  I’d already bookmarked his page in the album book, and when he opened it, ready to sign, there was a post it with a question waiting for him. He read it, glancing up at me with an amused smirk, before switching his sharpie out for a pen to scratch down an answer.

  While he did, I pulled out a headband with wobbly hearts on it, placing it on his head, over the top of his bandana. Even though he’d been given hair the color of a stop sign, he was still wearing his bandana. It was only when I did this that Xiao realized I was there. “Ka-yoot” he said, his recovery apparently passing the girl sat in front of him, as she giggled at Youngbin and Xiao.

  Youngbin shut the album, pushing it back towards me. Before I could open it, he had reached for my hands, holding them in his. “Thank you for coming.” His gaze fell on my bump. “It’s big!”

  “That’s what she said,” I said, winking at him. My belly had grown in the month since I’d last seen them. As the seat next to me was vacated, I slid along, pulling my hands free from Youngbin as I grabbed my album and opened it to Xiao’s page before pushing it to him.

  “You’re pregnant,” Xiao said, taking the album off me. “Your boyfriend is very lucky.”

  “I’m the lucky one,” I told him. “But he’s been working away, and I miss him.”

  “I’m sure he will make it up to you when you see him next.” He glanced down, seeing the post it. He read the question, snorted, and wrote something down quickly. He shut the album and folded his arms, pouting. “Where’s my present?”

  “I was going to buy you something, but the Hello Kitty store had sold out of stock,” I said, staring pointedly at the mountain behind him. I pulled another heart headband from my bag and tried to put it on.

  Xiao took it out of my hands before placing it on his head like it was a crown. He then placed the bottom of the palms of his hands together, creating a V and held them under his chin, batting his eyes. I jumped at the screams behind me.

  I moved along to Jiwon who had been deep in conversation with the girl in front of me. From the tail end of a conversation I’d caught earlier, she ran one of his fan sites. He’d clearly recognized her and was chatting to her with familiarity.

  “Oppa!” I cried, excitedly.

  Jiwon’s eyes widened, and then his head titled, lifting his hair away to reveal his undercut. That was a look. I wasn’t sure if he was more surprised to see me, or if he was surprised to hear me call him oppa, considering I was actually older than him.

  Its traditional meaning was an older brother if the person speaking was a girl. For a boy, the equivalent was hyung. But it had broadened slightly. The younger members of the group would frequently call the older members hyung, and all of them called Sungmin hyungnim. It was a term of endearment and respect.

  Even though I had become more fluent as time passed, it had never felt natural for me to call any of them oppa. Only Youngbin and Xiao were older than me, although I could have gotten away with calling the others oppa too, but it didn’t roll off my tongue comfortably. Even how, I’d gone high pitched and giggly.

  Jiwon was looking at me like I was insane.

  I slid the album towards him with a cheesy grin on my face, before hiding behind my hands.

  Jiwon glanced towards the girl running his fan site, her attention focused more on him than on JongB, which was a good thing, considering he was staring at me with a stupid grin on his face. Carefully, he flicked the album book open to his bookmarked page, signing it before looking at the post it. He smirked and then bent his head over to write something down, using his arm to shield the post it so that no one else could read it.

  When he looked up again, I had my cheesy heart headband in my hand. When he shook his head, people in the audience booed. Jiwon leaned to the side and gave them a look of disbelief. Slowly, he waved his finger back and forth, earning more boos.

  “Please, oppa?” I pleaded with him.

  “You’re a naughty girl,” he told me.

  “And yet your fans think you’re a naughty boy.”

  He reached over, taking the headband off me, and promptly deposited it on my head. He pushed my album to JongB and folded his arms, giving me a fake glower.

  Laughing, I moved over to JongB. Before I could sit down, he had reached over and stolen the headband, putting it on his own head as he turned to Jiwon and poked his tongue out.

  Jiwon leaned over and flicked his forehead, rolling his eyes, and then turned his attention to the fan in front of him, but not before sending a heated look in my direction.

  In front of me, JongB picked up the album. It took me a moment to see that he was flicking through the book, reading the previous post it answers. I wasn’t sure whose he was reading, but his eyebrows disappeared under his fringe. He lowered the book to peer over the top of it at me.

  I batted my eyelashes at him. “Hello, SubSub.”

  “You’re really weird,” he told me.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m Kate.”

  JongB lowered the book and frowned at me. “That’s not funny.”

  “We’ve been telling you that for the last six years,” Jiwon muttered under his breath. “Glad you finally caught on.”

  A mischievous smile spread over JongB’s face as he turned to his page, writing something down which had me certain that I needed to keep the album under lock and key.

  He passed it back to me, smug. I could not wait to read these responses.

  I moved along to the next seat, but MinMin was already leaning over the table, reaching for my belly, his eyes wide with delight. “Can I?”

  I stared down at the top of his head. His hair had been bleached, and at the start of the comeback, it had been green, but now it was looking more like blonde hair that had been in a swimming pool too much.

  As I nodded, the ‘aws’ from the audience came back. “I haven’t been able to feel it,” I told him, unsure if he just wanted to touch my stomach, or if he was hoping to feel the baby move.

  “Is that normal?” MinMin asked, looking worried.

  “Don’t worry,” I reassured him. It had taken several weeks before I could feel the baby in me. It was definitely in there, chilling. I’d been a little worried myself considering how many people would talk about feeling the baby kick, but what few people mentioned was that it could be as late as sixteen weeks before you could feel it move.

  MinMin sat down, grinning like an idiot. Which was when I noticed Taeyoon and Sungmin at the side of the stage. They looked like they were trying to decide if they needed to remove me.

  I ignored them. I’d weighed the pros and cons before coming and had come to the conclusion that even if I was recognized, it would be as Onyx’s photographer.

  I’d been keeping an eye on the various SNS ever since Jiwon and I had made the scandal headlines. Ever since the apology and Dongjun being brought on, combined with our efforts to hide everything, I was now known as one of Onyx’s tour photographers.

  It was still a gamble, and maybe my loneliness was making me take a bigger risk than was necessary, but I missed them.

  I gave MinMin his headband and moved onto CX. His smile was softer, like the curls he was sporting for the comeback. At some point, someone had fashioned CX’s hair into two stumpy pigtails on either side of his head. It was cute as hell.

  “
How are you feeling?” he asked me, sounding very polite. But he was the one sat the closest to Sungmin and Taeyoon.

  “I’m good,” I said, fighting the urge to play with his hair; it looked so soft. “I really enjoyed this comeback. Your song is brilliant. I even bought a lot of copies of the album.”

  CX frowned. “I’m not sure…” he trailed off. “Thank you for supporting us.”

  “Always,” I beamed, handing over his headband. He took it from me, sitting it just behind the pigtails. “You’ve all worked hard, so I hope that you have some time to relax before your next comeback.”

  “Me too,” he agreed.

  I returned to my seat at the back of the audience, watching the rest of the fan meet. There were a few songs performed, but the seating meant that everyone was out of the way of me. It didn’t mean that the audience wasn’t vocal. They were calling all kinds of things out to the members, loving the reactions they got back.

  I didn’t shout anything. Aside from not wanting to draw attention to myself, and I was hyperaware of all the furtive glances sent in my direction by the guys, I was content watching. I’d worked all the previous shows and I’d never really experienced one from a fan’s point of view. It was a little different from the international fan meets, but I was happy.

  These men were alive on a stage.

  When it ended, I filtered out with everyone else. Instead of following the group to see them off, I decided to head for the subway before the masses. I had some time before I had to be at the hospital, but I wanted some fresh air and a mango smoothie from Starbucks. It was hot and humid and coffee was still off my menu.

  The subway train filled a little, but the special pregnancy seat was free. That was something I liked about this city; no matter how busy the train was, that seat was always empty.

  With a glass of smoothie, I found a seat with my back to a wall and finally pulled out the album. I’d been itching to read my answers, but the subway had been too busy.

  On each post it, I’d written the same thing: You’ve been away from your girlfriend for some time and you’re finally going to see her later. She’s missed you and wants to do something special for you. What would you like her to do?