Beauty Queens and Cruises: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 4)

by A. R. Winters

  Diana nodded slowly and then reached to adjust her dress. When her hand returned, like magic, it was clutching a business card.

  “Here,” she said, reaching past Martin. “If you ever really want to learn how it’s done…”

  Martin rolled his eyes, and with the skill of the experienced he snatched the card out of Diana’s hand and screwed it up into a ball.

  Diana laughed. It was like this was a game the two of them had played before. Clarissa hadn’t raised her hand to take the card, but she hadn’t spoken to reject it either. She just stared at Diana with a gentle smile on her lips.

  “You can find me online,” said Diana with a mischievous wink.

  She turned away from Martin and Clarissa and walked toward the edge of the pool to stare down at her sunken crown. As she stood by the edge, she looked over her shoulder a final time, giving Clarissa a curious look.

  There was a loud splash, and I saw that someone had dived into the water. Sam was watching, and so I walked over to her.

  “Who’s that?” I asked. Under the surface a sleek figure was sliding through the water to the bottom of the pool.

  “The pool boy, of course. Who else was I going to send into the pool to get the crown?”

  Amused, I watched as the crown broke the surface of the water, followed by the arm and then the head of Shaun Anderson as he triumphantly retrieved the beauty queen’s crown.

  With an easy one-armed stroke, he made it to the edge of the pool, put the crown down, and pulled himself effortlessly out of the water. Now clad only in his underwear, the young pool boy offered the crown to Sam with a shy smile on his lips, water dripping off his rather fabulous torso at our feet.

  “Here you go, Sam. Your crown.”

  She shook her head at him. “Not my crown. It’s Diana’s,” she said with a nod of her head toward the beauty queen.

  Shaun stepped past us to return it to its rightful owner.

  “You just wanted to see him with his clothes off,” I said to Sam with a nudge.

  She shook her head innocently. “Did not. I’m just trying to do my job.”

  We both watched as the young, athletic pool boy handed the crown over to Diana who took it with an appreciative smile—appreciative of the return of the crown and of his looks as she ran her eyes over him, finding him much more agreeable than when she had done the same thing to me.

  Diana leaned into Shaun and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, causing him to blush adorably.

  “Well, you’re doing a great job,” I said to Sam. “Diana seems pleased.”

  While Shaun came back toward us, I went to speak to Diana. I’d leave Sam to deal with her pool boy.

  “Diana, could I get a couple of pictures of you? You’re the biggest star here.”

  I could be quite good at flattering people when I tried.

  “I’d love to. But look at me—I look awful.”

  She did not look awful. As far as I could tell, she was still immaculately coiffed and presented.

  “You look great.”

  She shook her head in disagreement.

  “No, my hair’s no good. I can feel it. That awful woman mussed it up. Give me a few minutes to do some touch-ups and I’ll be back with you in a jiffy.”

  “I think you look great already. But I’ll be here waiting for you if you’d like to try and improve upon perfection,” I said with a winning smile.

  She gave a sharp nod, accepting a compliment well-earned, and hurried off inside the ship.

  Sam and Shaun had gone to the other side of the pool were Shaun was slowly redressing himself.

  Looking around the pool deck, things were now once again calm, though there was a frisson of energy in the air that hadn’t been there earlier. Truth be told, I think the excitement of Ruth bursting onto the stage and trying to harangue them all had added to the electric atmosphere rather than taken away from it.

  “Hi!” came an incredibly bright and cheery voice. “Is everything okay?”

  I looked down at Kelly with an amused smile.

  “Yes, everything’s under control now.”

  “Oh, that’s great!” she said brightly. “Sorry I had to pop away for a little bit earlier. Did you get some nice pictures?”

  “Yes I’ve got a few. I’ll get some of Diana when she comes back. She needs to fix her hair after the scuffle.”

  “Wonderful! I’m going to see how everyone’s getting on. Thanks, Adrienne!”

  Kelly hurried away to mingle some more.

  With the immediate drama over for now, I decided to do the same. With my camera ready, I got back to it.

  Little did I know the drama was only just beginning.

  Chapter 5

  An hour later, most of the excitement around the pool had died down. The contestants had headed inside to check out some more of the ship, Sam and Kelly had left, and Greg Washington had rolled away his mostly-full food cart.

  “The pool deck closes in twenty minutes,” said Shaun Anderson.

  The pool boy was now fully clad in his work uniform and, with the absence of Sam, was able to focus fully on his task of stacking up the sun loungers and tidying the pool area before it reopened to the general public.

  “Okay. You didn’t see Diana Penn again, did you?”

  He shook his head, sending his messy hair flopping back and forth. Despite having been in the pool, he still looked fine. It was one of the advantages of having a ‘just got out of bed’ haircut.

  “Nope. She went inside after I gave her the crown back.”

  “Yeah, I know. I was going to take some pictures of her. She’s probably gone to do something else instead. I guess I’ll head inside too then.”

  “Adrienne? Have you got a minute?”

  I hadn’t noticed Ethan Lee approaching and I greeted him with a shy smile.

  “Hi, Ethan. Sure. I was waiting for Diana Penn, but I think she’s forgotten about me.”

  The first officer shook his head in mock disbelief. “Forgotten about you? She must be crazy.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle.

  “Honestly,” I lowered my voice, “I think half of these beauty pageant contestants are crazy.”

  “I think you might be right.” It was barely an hour since he’d had to separate Diana and Ruth, and the memory was still clearly fresh in his mind.

  “Why don’t you catch up with Diana tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, I think I will. Have you got something more interesting in mind?”

  “Yep. How about joining me for dinner?”

  My heart skipped a beat. I was still thinking about the ring I’d found in his office before. But I’d never find out what it meant if I didn’t spend any time with him, would I? And surely there was an innocent explanation.

  “That sure sounds more fun than waiting around here for the beauty queen to come back. Can I get changed first?”

  “Sure. Want to meet me at the Italian restaurant at six thirty?”

  “Sure, it’s a... that sounds great.”

  “It’s a date,” he said firmly, looking into my eyes as he said it. “See you then.”

  When I arrived at the restaurant he was there already, standing at the entrance having a friendly chat with the greeter.

  I never brought much to wear with me on these cruises as we spent almost every waking hour working. Our ‘days off’ happened when we were back in port. When we were at sea, it was basically nonstop work.

  But I had brought a couple of things with me, and this evening I was wearing a light yellow dress that matched the carefree atmosphere I felt was appropriate for a relaxed ocean cruise. At least that’s what I thought it was going to be when I’d done my packing, before I’d found out I’d be herding dozens of so-called beauties.

  “Adrienne. You look lovely,” he said after gazing at me appreciatively.

  Ethan was dressed in his work clothes still, and I didn’t mind a bit. The well-tailored white and gold uniform suited him and showed off his athletic physique admir
ably. “Shall we?”

  With linked arms, we went inside, the greeter leading us to a window table. As it was dark outside, there wasn’t much to see apart from the moon, but it was a full one and I enjoyed the sight of it. Most of the tables inside were full, except for the far side of the room, which had been set up for a large group meal. Several tables had been pushed together to create a long dining table with room for more than twenty people to sit.

  “So, a beauty pageant on this cruise, huh? Was that your idea?”

  I shook my head. “My idea? No way. I didn’t even know about it until this morning. Kelly Cline gets so caught up in her work she forgets to tell me what mine is.”

  “Ah. She does seem to be a bit frantic most of the time.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, when she’s not hiding from trouble anyway.”

  “A little conflict avoidant, is she?” He asked with an amused smile.

  “I’ll say. Though not a little. Completely.”

  I had a plan for this meal. I wanted to see if I could get to the bottom of the issue of the ring in his office. See if I could figure out what the story was. But I needed to be subtle about it.

  After we had both ordered—spaghetti carbonara for me, and lasagna for him—I got down to business. Very subtle business.

  “You know, I heard there was an antique jewelry shop in Cozumel. Do you know anything about that?”

  I had a theory that he had picked up the ring during our last visit to Cozumel. It was after he had returned from shore leave there that I had seen it in his office.

  “I’m afraid I don’t know much about jewelry. But if we can fit it into your schedule, perhaps we could go ashore together and check it out?”

  I nodded and smiled at him. I liked what he was saying, but it wasn’t really getting me closer to any answers.

  I decided I would try again in a few minutes, taking another tack.

  “I love the breadsticks here,” I said, snapping one in half and popping the end into my mouth. As I began to chew, a crumb got caught in my throat and I ended up coughing and spluttering.

  “They don’t seem to love you.” Ethan picked up my water glass and offered it to me, which I took with shaking hands and spluttering red cheeks. I greedily gulped down a couple of mouthfuls.

  “Sorry about that. I think I’ll swear them off now.” I dropped the other half of the breadstick back onto my side plate.

  When I’d recovered, Ethan reached over and patted my hand.

  “You know, I wish we had more time to do things like this.”

  “Choke on breadsticks?”

  Of course I knew that wasn’t what he was getting at, but sometimes I use humor as a defense.

  “Not so much the choking part. But having a meal together. Or you know, something else—drinks, a movie, a play—spending time together.”

  I stared down at my plate for a moment before looking up shyly into his eyes. I gave a small smile, willing my cheeks not to be so red. My cheeks did not listen.

  “I… I would like that too.”

  I felt his hand closing over mine, and a moment later we were holding hands across the table. It was nice—warm, romantic, but most of all comfortable. Even though I had just about choked myself a moment earlier, I hadn’t died of embarrassment. He had a calming presence about him.

  “Of course, I’m sure your shoreside girlfriends would be jealous.” I tried to say it as lightheartedly as possible, like a joke.

  He shook his head with a smile. “I spend most of my time at sea.”

  “They say a sailor has a girl in every port.”

  “I don’t know how they could afford that.” He gave my hand a squeeze as he chuckled. “But seriously, no, there aren’t any onshore girlfriends. You’re the only one I want to spend time with these days.”

  I almost blurted out the question then. It probably would’ve been a good opportunity. But I didn’t really want to admit that I’d seen the ring in his office. I hadn’t exactly been snooping, but I had looked in a bag that had been sitting on his desk.

  “I haven’t felt like I’ve had much time for anything these last few cruises. What with all the…” I made a grimace. “You know.”

  He gave my hand another supportive squeeze and nodded his head. He knew exactly what I meant. Our previous three cruises together had all involved some rather unfortunate incidents and the deaths of several passengers. Not to mention the staff that had been arrested for various crimes. It didn’t exactly leave much time for romance.

  “Well, hopefully this cruise will be a lot smoother than the last one,” said Ethan.

  “Yes, I hope so,” I told him. “I just hope that crazy lady doesn’t cause too many problems. What did you do with her earlier?”

  “Well, I ended up taking her to the Boulevard Café and having a coffee with her, to calm her down. She’s quite a well-known activist, you know. A kind of iconic figure for some people.”

  “Are you a fan?” I asked with an amused smile.

  He chuckled. “I’d never heard of her before today either, I’m afraid. I’m more of a history buff than into politics or social affairs.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  Why did I just say that? I don’t know much about history. It was true that I wasn’t particularly interested in either politics or social affairs either though, so it wasn’t a complete lie.

  “After I’d spoken to her for a while, she seemed to become reasonable. I think she’s just going to try and avoid the beauty pageant from now on. It shouldn’t be too hard. After all, the ship’s big enough, right?”

  “It sure is.”

  While the Swan of the Seas wasn’t the largest cruise liner out there, it sported a bigger population than my whole hometown. Though perhaps town was too grand a word for where I came from. Cornridge, Nebraska wasn’t exactly a hub of activity.

  There was the sound of a large commotion near the door. Not of trouble, just of a large group of people arriving all at once. Curiously, we both looked over to see what was happening.

  “Oh look, it’s my lucky day,” said Ethan with a grin. “I get to have dinner with two dozen beauty queens.”

  I gave him a playful, gentle kick under the table.

  “You keep your eyes over here, mister.”

  He grinned back at me. “Don’t worry. They’re not exactly my type. I prefer people who are much more real, you know?”

  I nodded. I’d never really considered myself to be ‘real’ before. But when I compared myself to the pageant contestants, I supposed I really was.

  The entire group of contestants was making their way in, along with the judges Martin and Rolf, and the captain of the ship.

  “Your boss is there too, see?” I said nodding my head toward the door.

  There was just the faintest flash of annoyance across Ethan’s face at the mention of his boss.

  “So he is. He’s being a good host, I suppose.”

  “Or the idea of dining with beauty queens appealed to him for some reason.”

  Ethan didn’t say anything in response to that, but I could tell from the look on his face that he agreed with me.

  The giant group headed toward the long line of tables that had been set up along the opposite side of the room to us, taking up an entire wall of the restaurant.

  “Looks like there’s a spare seat.”

  Scanning the people I could see immediately who was missing.

  “It’s Diana Penn. She’s not there.”

  “She’s probably back by the pool deck, waiting for you,” said Ethan with a mischievous look in his eye.

  “What!? You told me to leave it!”

  He gave my hand another squeeze. “Just kidding. I’m sure she’ll be along in a minute.”

  Our food was placed on the table in front of us, and Ethan finally released my hand. I missed it as soon as it was gone.

  “This is delicious,” I said as I finished my first mouthful.

  “Excellent as ever,” said Ethan with a nod
of satisfaction. “I always get the lasagna in here.”

  “You’re a creature of habit, are you?”

  “I suppose I am, really. When I first joined the ship, I tried every item on every menu. But now I have my favorites. Here, it’s the lasagna.”

  “It’s good to know what you want, I suppose.”

  Saying it out loud made me wonder whether I knew what I really wanted. Did I want to be a social media manager on the ship all my life? Did I want to be dating Ethan? I gave my head a little shake to clear it. I should just enjoy the moment.

  “Looks like your cruise director is here too,” said Ethan nodding his head back toward the big group.

  On the other side of the room, Kelly Cline had walked in and was talking to the captain.

  “Do they know each other?”

  “I think they did work together on another ship for a while,” confirmed Ethan.

  Whatever they were talking about, it didn’t seem to be making the captain happy. In fact, he was looking quite angry, and after a final sentence, Kelly turned and hurried out of the room as fast as her two little legs could carry her.

  Just as Kelly left, Diana Penn made her entrance. She had her crown back on her head, though it was now missing one little prong, and she was again wearing the large sash with her name across her chest.

  “Do you think she always wears that?” I asked Ethan.

  “You know, I really think she might. Can you imagine?”

  “Yeah. Walking around the supermarket, pushing her shopping cart dressed up with a crown on her head.”

  “Lining up for a burger and fries? Waiting for the bus?”

  We were both laughing at the images we were creating together. Although I had enjoyed Ethan’s company in the past, I think this was the first time we had laughed so much together.

  Diana walked to the empty chair, which was directly next to Rolf. He stood up, and offered her his left hand, while he used his right to pull out her chair for her. Like a princess, she took his hand and allowed him to help her into his seat. When she was sitting, she looked around the room until finally she saw me.

  “Oh dear,” I said to Ethan. “I think I’m in trouble.”