A beat later, Windbreaker spills through after me, letting in one last gasp of gray before the blackness takes over.
At first it seems like there’s no light at all, but eventually, my eyes adjust enough to make out the cinder block walls on either side of me. Skimming my fingers along the stone, I move as quickly as I can, taking a corner too fast and nearly falling before I regain my balance.
“Come on, lady,” a deep voice calls out from behind me. “You don’t want to be collateral damage. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Not bothering to dignify that with a response, I break into a jog, willing light to appear around the next curve. But there’s still nothing but shadows and more shadows and the seemingly endless maze of the hallways inside the old factory. I might never find my way out, which means I need a new plan. Fast.
My hand bumps over a door set into the wall. I trust the flash of hope in my gut and fumble for the knob, silently turning it and slipping inside what seems to be a storage room. It’s utterly black in here, but as I flatten myself against the wall, it feels like a close space, warmer and quieter than the hall.
Willing my heart to stop roaring in my ears, I sip in slow, silent breaths, straining for sounds from the corridor. Once I hear Windbreaker pass by, I’ll slip out and retrace my steps. I remember the two turns back to the kitchen. And then it’s only another twenty feet to my phone and another twenty to the street outside where someone might be close enough to hear me cry for help. The crew finishing up the final touches on the condos isn’t working today, but other shops and businesses are nearby, and Colette is on her way to meet me.
I just have to get outside, and everything will be fine.
I catch the sound of footsteps outside, and my pulse rockets back to jackrabbit speed. Crossing my fingers and biting my lip, I will the creepy man to keep going past me, deeper into the maze.
Instead, the footsteps slow way too close to my hideout for comfort, and his deep voice reaches out to poke me through the closed door. “You need to come with me, lady. Right now, for your own good. This isn’t about you.”
I roll my eyes so hard it sends a flash of pain through my forehead, but I don’t move. Or breathe. Or even think too loud.
Please, go away, I beg silently. Please, please, please.
“If you don’t get out of here soon, you’re going to be sorry,” he calls in a louder voice, making me think he has no clue I’m barely three feet away, separated from him by one thin, unlocked door.
My toes curl tighter in my shoes, and my hands ball into fists as I will him away from me before my heart beats out of my chest.
Finally, I catch the soft scrape of his shoes moving away down the hall, back the way we came. “Fine, it’s your funeral, bitch,” he mutters, and I grind my teeth together.
Yes, asshole, I’m the bitch. How dare I walk around inside my own restaurant, thinking I had the right to exist without being chased or threatened by some weirdo in a windbreaker? What a bitch I am.
The rush of anger mutes the fear trampolining around inside me. Indignation makes me stronger. Braver.
Still, I know better than to make a run for it just yet. If Windbreaker went back the way we came, I have to give him time to get out of the building before I retrace my steps. Or I can keep pushing deeper into the maze and hope that I’ll find my way out before Colette arrives and has her own run-in with the bad guy.
The thought of that shit stain scaring or hurting Colette jolts me into motion. I can’t afford to wait. I have to get out of here.
I reach for the door, but before I can turn the knob, there’s a sound like a baseball bat striking a lobster pot, and the door jumps in my hand. A second later, it slams into my chest, and I go flying backward as the walls rumble around me.
My head hits something hard, and fireworks flash behind my eyes, and then I’m out, sucked into the dark.
Chapter Twenty-One
Cutter
Megan hands my phone back to me with a nod and a smile bright enough to dim the sun streaming through the windows behind us.
She’s as beautiful as she ever was. Probably more so—the love in her eyes when she talks about her daughter tells me her heart is an even bigger, kinder place than before—but her smile doesn’t punch me in the gut the way it used to.
And when she reaches out to take my hand, my blood doesn’t rush faster.
My pulse remains steady. The only thing that grows is the suspicion that I’m an idiot.
I put the phone to my ear as I squeeze Megan’s fingers reassuringly. “So we’re all set?” I ask my guy in LA.
“All set. Did you seriously doubt me, kid?” Craig asks with a booming laugh. The band’s old security coordinator quit to start a private security firm a few years ago, when life on the road got to be too much for his arthritis, but he sounds as relentlessly upbeat as I remember. “I got you boys. Anytime. Anyplace. I might be based in LA, but I have people all over. And Kurt and Steve are two of my best. Both ex-Navy SEALS and as professional as they come. They’ll take care of your girl. But if she has any questions or concerns, she knows she’s welcome to call me anytime. Day or night.”
“Thanks, man.” I ignore the voice that insists I should tell Craig that Megan isn’t my girl. Whether Megan and I are dating is irrelevant. All that matters is that Craig’s going to have two badass motherfuckers on her porch by five o’clock today. “I appreciate you. Everyone around here is going to sleep better tonight.”
“Absolutely. My pleasure. Say hi to the boys for me and let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.” He lowers his voice. “And tell Megan to hang in there. I’ve seen shit like this before. Her ex is eventually going to get the message and back off. They almost always do.”
I thank him again and end the call, trying not think about the “almost” in that reassurance. I’ve seen my share of depressing-as-hell news headlines about women hurt by their ex-husbands and boyfriends, but that isn’t going to be Megan. Thank God I have the money and connections to keep her and her family safe until her dickhead ex gets tired of being a piece of shit and moves on with his life.
“Thank you,” Megan says, curling her fingers tighter around mine. “You have no idea how much this means to me. It feels like I can finally breathe again. I didn’t realize how scared I was until Craig said he could have the guards here tonight. It’s like my brain was holding it all at a distance, you know? Trying to protect me from realizing how awful things actually were.”
“I get it.” I bring my other hand to cover hers. “I’m just so glad you called me and that I was able to help.”
Her gaze softens. “You’re a good helper. That’s one of the things I’ve always admired about you. When the chips are down, you’ll do anything for a friend.” She laughs beneath her breath. “Or an ex-girlfriend, I guess. Which is really above and beyond.”
“You’re more than an ex-girlfriend.” I want her to know what she meant to me, how she changed my life for the better. “You’re the person who taught me what it felt like to be in love. Before you, I didn’t get it at all.” I shrug. “And by the time I realized it was love with you, it was too late.”
Her lips curve. “I kind of figured. But it’s okay. We all learn about love at our own pace. And it seems like you’ve got the hang of it these days. I don’t know her well, but I’ve heard wonderful things about Theo. You two are cute together.”
“Thanks.” I pull my hand from Megan’s with a wince. “But I don’t know that I’ve got the hang of it. To be honest, I think I’ve already fucked things up again.”
“What? How?” Megan catches my gaze and holds it with a no-nonsense look. “You aren’t cheating again, are you? Because that’s bullshit, Cutter. And if you keep cheating on the women you love, that’s something you should work on with a good therapist before you break someone else’s heart.”
I shake my head. “No. No, I’m not cheating, and I don’t want to.” I realize the words are true as I say them. I don
’t want to be with anyone but Theo, but considering what a douchebag I was this morning, she’s probably never going to let me near her body again, let alone her heart. “But I’m still playing catch-up, Megs. It’s like I don’t know how much I care about someone until it’s too late.”
Megan sighs. “Well, that’s not really all that surprising, honey. You’ve got some major walls up, Cutter, and you spend a lot of energy defending them. It doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for living in the moment and paying attention to relationships as they unfold.”
I thread my fingers together in a double fist in my lap as my jaw goes tight. “Yeah. You’re right. I guess I just…” I hate looking inward like this, but it’s past fucking time for some self-reflection. “I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen next. If you slap a label on something from the beginning and keep things casual, you never have to worry about a friend becoming someone who can rip your heart out.”
“But you also cut yourself off from finding something more than a friend. Someone you can trust with parts of yourself even your best friend can’t completely understand.” Her brow furrows, and a sad, faraway look creeps into her eyes. “There really is nothing like being in love. Even though it ended badly, John was… He was important to me. He loved me so much I finally had no choice but to believe that I was lovable, too.”
The thought summons a startled huff from my chest. “How could you have ever doubted that, Megs? You’re one of the sweetest people I know. Beautiful, inside and out.”
She smiles. “Thanks. But you know how it is… To someone looking in, it can seem like you have everything, but if you don’t have your shit figured out, you can feel like you have nothing at all.”
I nod slowly. Yeah, I know exactly how that is. “Having a parent run off when you’re a kid really screws a person up, huh?”
She laughs softly and shrugs. “Yeah, it does. But even if my dad had stuck around, I think I would have struggled. Some of us just have a harder time learning to love ourselves than others. And until you love yourself, being in love in a healthy way is hard. It can take time to get to that place, and there’s no shame in that.” She reaches out, tapping the back of my hand. “But don’t take too long. People like Theo don’t come around every day.”
“I know. You taught me that, too. Or I thought you did…” I drop my head back with a groan. “Shit, I feel so stupid. I fucked it up, the same fucking way I did before.”
“Hey there, chin up.” She gives my fingers an encouraging squeeze. “If Theo feels the way you feel, she isn’t going to give up on you that easily. If you make an effort, she’ll meet you halfway. I can almost guarantee it.”
I nod, but my stomach is still churning. “My gut says you’re wrong, but maybe...”
“Well, your gut is stupid,” Megan says, grinning. “Don’t listen to your gut, listen to me. Go find Theo and tell her how you feel. Then get yourself a good therapist and do the work. Having someone teach you more effective coping techniques can really help. Believe me, I speak from experience on that one.”
I huff. “I don’t believe it. You’ve always had your act together.”
She rolls her eyes. “If that were true, I wouldn’t have married a man I knew deep down was never going to leave the family business. Mobsters don’t retire. They just develop cocaine habits to go along with their mobster habits and morph into someone so awful you can’t believe you ever truly knew them in the first place.” Her forehead wrinkles. “Thank you again for still being the decent human I remember. It really is the only thing giving me hope that I’m not the worst judge of character on the planet.”
I’m about to confess that I’m not decent, that all this started as a plan to get her back, but I lock the confession down at the last second.
Nothing good will come from sharing that shit, and Megan has enough on her plate right now.
It’s also irrelevant. I don’t want to be with Megan anymore. I want to be with the woman who rocked my world last night and made me excited to wake up this morning. I want to pull Theo into my arms and know she’s staying there because she wants me to hold her, not because we’re putting on a performance. I want to be her boyfriend for real and see where that might lead.
“I’m happy to help,” I say instead. “I like being the good guy. I might try it more often.”
“But not too often. Your bad-boy side is part of your charm,” Megan teases, shrugging on her jacket before she stands. “I’m going to swing through the store and get some groceries before I head home. Go find your girl and tell her how you feel. I’ll be—” She cuts off as her cell dings in her purse, and she reaches inside. “Sorry, I just want to make sure it’s not my mom.” She glances down, then her face goes white as she takes in whatever’s on the screen.
“What is it?” I surge to my feet, circling the table to stand beside her as her hand begins to shake. I reach for her, but Megan flinches and shuffles a few steps away.
“No,” she says, her voice breaking. “Don’t stand too close. They’re here. Watching us.” She turns the phone my way, revealing a picture of the two of us holding hands across the donut shop table and a text underneath that reads, “I always know where you are. And I always keep my promises.”
“He means the note,” Megan says, panic in her eyes. “That there would be consequences if I kept seeing you. God, what is he going to do, Cutter? I have to get home to Beatrice and my mom.” She darts toward the door only to stop and spin back to me. “But I don’t have a car. Shit! Can you drive me?”
“Of course,” I say, grabbing my jacket. “And you can call the police on the way.” I’m in such a rush, I almost forget my phone on the table, but luckily, it starts to ring just as Megan and I reach the door.
I turn and jog back to grab it. Seeing Colette’s name, I answer as I hurry back to Megan and out through the door to the shop. “Hey, shit is going down right now, Colette. Can you do me a favor and—”
“It just exploded!” Colette shouts over me, the words ending in a sharp inhalation. “The back of the new restaurant under your building! The whole wall came out. There are bricks all over the sidewalk and smoke, and Theo was inside, Cutter. I’m almost positive she was inside!”
“Call the police,” I say. “I’ll be there in five minutes, and we’ll find her.”
“I already called them,” Colette says with a sob. “But they’re not here yet, and I’m so afraid she’s dead, Cutter. I’m so afraid.”
“It’s okay, I’ll be there as fast as I can. Hang in there.” I end the call with a tap of my numb finger. All the blood has rushed away from my head and limbs, surging into my churning stomach.
“I heard. Come on,” Megan says, grabbing my arm. “I’ll drive.”
“But your mom, the baby…” I mutter, not even sure what I’m saying as I allow Megan to drag me to my car.
“I’ll call them as soon as I get you to Theo. That comes first.” She opens the door to the passenger’s seat, assuring me, “She’s going to be okay, Cutter. She will be, I promise,” as I slide inside.
But I’m not so sure. I only know that I can’t imagine a world without Theo. I don’t want to think about that shitty place, about living alone in it for the rest of my life, haunted by the fact that I didn’t even get the chance to tell her how much I cared about her.
Fuck that. I more than care about her. I’m falling in love with her.
And now she might be gone, and it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t given her the key to the restaurant, she wouldn’t have been there when it exploded.
“The restaurant fucking exploded,” I blurt, draws snapping together. “How did the restaurant explode? We had our ten-thousandth inspection last week, and it was all clear. I’ve replaced everything in that fucking building except the bricks. It’s all brand new and up to safety code. There shouldn’t be anything in there capable of causing an explosion.”
Megan presses her lips together. “It could have been a gas leak no one noticed. Th
ings like that happen.” She hesitates, her voice dropping as she adds, “Or…it could have been John.”
I go still, but the words don’t sound so crazy. Maybe I was headed down that road, but I just didn’t get there as quickly as Megan. “You think he would do that? Try to kill my girlfriend because he caught us having coffee twice?”
Megan drags a hand through her hair. “I don’t think so. As crazy as he is these days, I can’t imagine him giving an order like that, but…”
“But?”
She glances my way as we stop at a red light that I want to smash with my bare hands for the sin of holding us up. “But deciding to wreck something you’d built when he assumed no one would be in the building? Yeah, I can see that.”
I curse through a clenched jaw. “I want to hurt him, Megan. More than hurt him. If he did this—”
“If he did, I’ll hurt him for you. I’ve already got a plan in place in case the law lets me down.”
I glance her way sharply, but she doesn’t flinch.
“I will do whatever it takes to protect my daughter,” Megan says softly, “and other innocent people. But hopefully, it won’t come to that.”
The light turns green, and she accelerates swiftly, sending us cruising toward the coast at a speed just short of dangerous. I grip the door handle and clench my jaw, fighting to hold on to hope. I know the bad guys win way more often than any of us would like to believe, but not this time…
This time, the innocent are going to live.
Theo’s going to be okay, and from now on, I’m going to do everything in my power to protect her. Because that’s what you do for the people who matter most.
Bang on Loosely Page 18
