by Laney McMann
“That’s the definition of the word insane, Kade.”
“I know that. My dad used me, too, so I understand. You know I do. What I mean is that a lot of times when people do bad things they actually believe they’re doing something good. Your dad probably didn’t think he was damaging you.” She had no idea if those were the right words. Wrong was wrong no matter how a person tried to spin it, but something about Euryale’s words to Kade in the cave had given her some peace. Dracon wasn’t a good guy, but Kade thought he believed he was. She wasn’t sure why that mattered, but it did.
“My dad was the mastermind behind this the whole time?” Cole let out a breath. “I mean what in the hell? All of it was planned between your dad and mine. Getting us together, feeding you my power to make you stronger, to get the map out of my head that would lead them to the Araneum—to bind you and me with these goddamn lines all over me. I can’t wrap my head around it. This probably took years for them to plan.” He stared at her. “Years, Kade.”
“I know. I think. I don’t know.” She averted her eyes.
“It’s like being the prize pig on a farm only to get slaughtered for it. My dad was the cause of the Araneum attack three years ago. I just …” He sat on the side of the bed, head in his hands. “Your dad, uncle, Dracon, said he moved you here for the sole purpose to meet me.” He took a breath. “He was afraid he’d have to settle on Jake at one point. Remember?”
“Sort of.” Her head was shaking. “I was really out of it the night of the attack. I kind of couldn’t breathe.”
“Please don’t give me the visual again.” He eyed her. “Dracon said he wanted to bind you to the strongest Primori. Me. And he succeeded. He was thrilled he succeeded. I don’t believe he had any intention of hurting me, when I think back on it. Why all the talking? All the explaining? He could have taken you and left. I mean, he wouldn’t have gotten far—I would have made sure of that, but you get my point? He wanted me to know what he was doing, what he’d done. He was happy, giddy almost that we’d fallen for each other.”
“I …”
“And my dad did the same thing. He has no intention of hurting me. He needs me.” He fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “We don’t even know what the fusionem crystal can do. Dracon didn’t know everything it could do—he told me that—but it seems like my father does. I think we’ve, you and I, have been connected since we were kids. Since that first night I met you at Crystalline, and I picked your crystal up off the floor after you dropped it and handed it to you,” he glanced at her, “I swear to the gods I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. It’s a feeling I couldn’t, and still can’t, throw off. And my dad thinks—or thought—I’d just get involved with you long enough to feed my information to you and then I’d break up with you?” His eyes narrowed. “What a dick.”
“Cole, you’re going to make yourself crazy going round in circles.” Kade ran her fingers through his hair. “Sometimes people just don’t make sense, and you have to find peace with that.” She let out a breath. “Dracon’s dead.” She didn’t know why she just blurted it out. There didn’t seem to be an appropriate time to say it, and once again she didn’t know how she was supposed to feel.
“What?”
“Jake told me. He said Dracon died just before the bomb hit the Brotherhood. I don’t know the whole story. Jake and Danny saw him die, but they didn’t kill him. He died of his injuries from the attack. Apparently Danny has a message for me.”
“A message?”
“That’s what Jake said.”
“I’m sorry, Kade.” He put his arms around her waist. “I really am.”
She knew he was. There was no need to rehash it again. She’d cried her tears. She needed to move on. Hesitating before she spoke, she said, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah.”
“Your dad said you were the heir. The heir to what?”
He stared up. “To everything.”
“Sorry?”
He shifted his weight, laying on his side with his head propped on his hand. “I am the heir to everything.”
“As in …”
“Stella Urbem, the Celestial Plane, the Ward, everything.” He held her stare.
“Whoa.” What was she supposed to say to that?
“It’s the reason, well one reason, why a lot of the Principals hate me.”
“So, you don’t want that title, or …?”
“Nope. My great-grandmother Hadriana gets angry about it every time I see her, so I’ve stopped visiting as much. She’s—well she was—the Eldership Chancellor until recently. Another reason I didn’t want you going to the Star City. Elder Cato is the new Chancellor, and he’s a snake. I don’t trust him. He basically stole my great-grandmother’s position. Anyway, I’m not interested in any of it.” He exhaled. “Apparently, my dad thinks he can use my ‘authority’ or whatever the hell he said before to take over? Don’t know—don’t care.” He let his hand fall and his head thunked onto the bed. “My head hurts.”
“Isn't your dad the heir?” she asked. “I mean, before he died anyway?”
“He was,” he said, “but my great-grandmother withdrew his rights a long time ago. When I was young.”
“Really? She could do that?”
“Yeah, if she has due cause, she can,” he sighed, looking so tired, deep purple wells were forming underneath his eyes. “They didn’t get along, and my great-grandmother didn’t trust his motives. I guess he had some … unscrupulous ways of killing Daemoneum. Surprise, surprise by that, right?” He grinned but not in a friendly way.
“I'm sorry.”
He touched her face, drawing small circles at the corner of her mouth. “Thanks.”
“There are worse things than being an heir,” she said, running her fingers through his hair again.
“That’s not who I am—not who I want to be.” His voice was muffled by his face being half-buried in the comforter. “Want to go for a walk? We have a five acre radius of nothing but trees. I need some air.”
“That sounds good.” She kissed the palm of his hand, still on her face. “I know you might not want to hear this, but your dad loves you.”
Cole pushed up to stand. “You’re right. I don’t want to hear that.”
Chapter 37
Faint early morning light bled through the trees as they made their slow, relaxed walk through the still dark woods in silence, Cole’s arm slung over Kade’s shoulders. His jacket was zipped up to his throat, hair disheveled, jeans low on his hips. His energy had soothed, shoulders relaxed, his walk casual, fingers rotating in slow circles on her shoulder.
The forest reminded her of Colorado in a calming way. Out of all the places she’d lived, she never expected Boulder to be the one that felt the most like home. Even with the bad memories, there were so many good ones Cole had given her. For days, they’d been on the move, and walking with him, just the two of them in the woods, brought some of the peace back she’d been missing. Being together felt like ‘them’ again.
“This is nice,” she said, as their shoes crunched through the thick layer of fallen leaves on the ground. There were no sounds of wildlife, only the stillness that cool weather always brought. No crazy laser light show, no training, just quiet. Osiris’ small house stood close by, both of them choosing not to wander far.
“It is nice.” He kissed her temple, and Kade wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking her hand underneath the hem of his jacket. “I’m sorry about everything, Sparrow,” he said.
“I’m sorry, too.” She looked up at him. “We’re okay, though. That’s something to be thankful for.”
“Something to thank the gods for.” His steps slowed, and he turned her toward him, holding her hips. “I missed you,” he whispered. “I feel like months have passed since we were alone and safe and normal.”
“I missed you, too.”
Guiding her mouth to his, he brushed hers, gently, lovingly, his lips cool from the chilly weather.
He was right—it felt like forever since they’d been alone. Really alone in a place that had a familiar feel. Kissing him was like breathing again. A vital part of her existence she’d thought she’d almost lost. He was the life she needed. The shot to her system. The blood in her veins.
Cole groaned against her mouth and pulled away. “Dammit. Hold that thought.” He put his hand on his throat, over his wings, and his eyes went to Kade’s, desperate and wide.
“What’s happened?”
His hand dropped to his side like a dead weight and his knees collapsed underneath him, and he crouched onto the forest floor with his head in his hands.
“Cole.” Kade was on the ground next to him.
He shook his head back and forth slowly. “She didn’t make it,” he whispered. “She …” Tears streamed down his face. “Plumb, she …” His voice hitched and broke.
Kade’s stomach hit her feet. Plumb had been like a mother to Cole.
“Ahhhh!” He flew off the ground and swiped his arm through the air. All the trees in front of them were uprooted, yanked out of the earth with so much force dirt spewed everywhere like rain. He hurled them through the air as if they were torpedoes. Birds took flight in a squawking chorus.
“Cole!” Kade ran after him. “Stop.”
He didn’t. The ground trembled, and Kade tried to find purchase and not fall. Boulders from deep underground wedged their way upward through the soil everywhere she could see, vibrating the earth, before Cole set them airborne. Tears and dirt streaked his cheeks.
“Cole, please don’t do this.” She wanted to go to him, but he continued destroying everything. Trees went up in flames. Red light ricocheted through the forest. Hurricane force winds trampled everything, spreading the flames, and consuming the underbrush.
“I am done with this!” he screamed. “I’m done with all of this.”
Kade had never seen him lose control. Had no idea, although she’d been told, the immense power he held. He was a Rubeum—the only one in the Primordial race for over several millennia, and for the first time she understood, with startling clarity, exactly what that meant.
“Stop!” she shouted. “You’re destroying everything!”
Trees flew like matchsticks, leaves and dirt, swirling in a blinding mass, sporadic fires everywhere.
“Who are you fighting, Cole?” she yelled. “Are you fighting to protect me? To get Plumb back? Or are we a damn good excuse to get revenge for your dad? It doesn’t work like this!”
Everything stopped, and he turned toward her, and all the color bled away from his face. He stared at her in a way she’d never thought he would. Jaw tight, muscles working, fists clenched over white knuckles. “Please, please tell me that I heard you wrong. Please.”
Kade was too angry to take it back, too pissed off and tired and sick of constantly being on the run. She understood. She’d been angry so many times ‘angry’ might as well have been her name instead of Kade, and she was devastated about Plumb, but she knew, she’d learned, that losing control wasn’t the answer. Cole had every reason to go off the deep end, she got it better than he probably understood, but he was better than this. It wasn’t the way. Her heart was breaking for him, but she wasn’t sure who he was fighting anymore. All she could do was stare at him in silence.
“No,” he averted his eyes for half a beat and a forced laugh erupted from his lungs, “I heard you right.” Arms on his hips, he shook his head and gazed at her so intensely Kade wanted to apologize and rush him all at once. “You know what you’re an excuse for, Kade?”
She flinched a little at the force behind his words and the serious nature he had when he used her name instead of Sparrow.
“You’re an excuse for me to feel something again.” He held her stare. “You’re the best goddamn reason I have ever known to be able to breathe again! To feel like me again. But my heart is broken, and I—” his voice cracked.
Her chin dropped. “I’m sorry, Cole. I was just—”
“Pissed off?” His voice was full of anger again. “And I’m not? Good god! You know what we have right now? You and me. That’s it.” He stared up at the dark sky, through the perfectly clear view straight up from all the trees being ripped from the ground. “You and me, Kade. And I wish sometimes I could tell you I had an issue with that, but I don’t.” He glanced at her. “Maybe that makes me a bad person, maybe it does, but it’s no less true. I would choose you over everyone, every single time, I would choose you, and … I don’t know,” he said. “Is it awful of me to stand here and thank the gods you’re here? That it wasn’t you Heru told me died?” The residue of tears streaked his dirty face. “Because that’s the first thing that crossed my mind. Thank god it wasn’t Kade. What does that say about me?”
“Cole, I—“ She felt as tall as a blade of grass. “I’m—”
He held up a hand, silencing her. “I would bring the world to its knees for you. I am fighting for you. Don’t you know that?” His eyes were brimming, and Kade closed the distance between them.
“I’m sorry,” she said, holding him, tears streaming. “It’s just … you got so mad, and I wasn’t sure at who.”
He brushed her cheek with his thumb, holding her jaw. “Never at you, Sparrow. Never, ever at you.” He let out a deep breath. “I’m just trying to get through everything the same way you are, with no real explanation as to the whys and what ifs. My heart is breaking. Plumb …” his voice hitched. “I feel like the world is coming apart, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I’m doing the best I can.” He kissed her. “You come first for me.”
Chapter 38
The little house was quiet, the logs in the fireplace popping every now and then, breaking the silence. Kade and Cole sat on the couch, arms around each other. Heru had sent word that Danny, Giselle, and Jake were still in stable condition, although Jake hadn’t regained his sight, but Lindsey was in critical condition. She’d undergone surgery for internal injuries, and they were just waiting for news.
“When I was little,” Cole said, his finger drawing on Kade’s hand, “Plumb used to sneak orange juice into my room while I did my homework.” He grinned. “It wasn’t allowed, but she did it anyway. I think she hoped I would trust her and ‘open up’ as she always called it. She was good to me.”
“She loved you.” Kade ran her fingers through his hair at the nap of his neck. “After my dad died, and I was getting settled in the underground bunker she checked on me all the time and always brought hot chocolate.”
He smiled a little. “She had a way with making everyone feel at home. She was great at what she did.” His gaze was trained on the fire. “I miss her.”
Kade held in the hitch in her throat. “She was trying to protect you, you know. With all of this—wanting me to go to Stella Urbem for questioning. She was looking out for you.”
“I know.” He let out a breath. “I wish I wouldn’t have yelled at her for it. She just didn’t understand, not fully.”
“She understood why you were upset. You know, when she first met me, and found out we were dating, she told me you were like a son to her, and she asked me to please not hurt you.”
He glanced at her. “I love you.”
She leaned into him, not wanting to upset him more with her tears and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”
“Did Heru leave us any food?” He smiled a little. “When did we eat last?”
“There’s food,” she said, still leaning against him. “Want me to make you something?”
He tugged her close. “Can you? Cook, I mean?”
“My dad was a terrible cook, so I had to take up the slack.” She pushed to her feet and tracked into the tiny kitchen. “There’s soup,” she said. “Mac‘n’cheese, bread, apples …” Cole came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her.
“Is there orange juice?” he asked in a sweet voice. “Chocolate milk?”
“Yep. Both. Heru knows you well.”
“He does.” He opened the cabinet over
her head. “Clam chowder?” He made a face. “Who eats that?”
“Have you ever had it? It’s good.”
“How about chicken noodle.” He put the can on the counter, and rummaged through another cabinet. “Are there crackers? Ah.” He set a box of saltines next to the soup.
“Comfort food.” Kade’s voice broke, as she looked up at him.
Tears filled his beautiful eyes, and Kade hugged him, nestling her face into his chest before she reached for a pot.
Elder Cato’s shiny dress shoes clapped against the cobblestone street. He hated being there—being anywhere in the Mortal world. It made him feel dirty, like he needed to take a shower—several showers. The smells were overwhelming for one—vomit-inducing—and all of the cordiality was almost painful to endure. If one more of these people smiled at him and said hello, he thought he might scream.
He’d left his guards to deal with Miss Plumb and all the degenerates at the Brotherhood, hopefully he would receive word of some good news on the Anamolia's whereabouts soon. Otherwise, he would have to enlist his own arsenal to locate her. Which was fine except Cato wanted all the credit for himself.
He turned down another street and his eyes widened. What was it with all of the potted plants and flowers all over the place? In front of people’s doors, around the fountain in the city center, hanging from lamp posts. Why all the color everywhere? There were two colors: black and white, like Stella Urbem—the darkness of the cosmos and the bright glint of stars. The rest of all of this was foreign and unsettling, making it hard for him to concentrate on the issue at hand. Some of the plants had even been allowed to crawl up the side of buildings like serpents. How Warden Caelius and so many other Primordial could stand to live like this was something he would never understand.
