I opened my mouth to award points for his correct use of Earthen swearing and closed it again. Pain cut deep, like shards of glass. Atticus wouldn’t be collecting any more points from me.
Silas searched my face. “Say something.”
So much had changed since I had asked him for more. My memories had been restored. I remembered everything I had lost, everything my people had sacrificed to protect Earth from the Council, the Brotherhood, all of it. I was a different person.
“You can’t break the bond-mating without Alaric’s blessing,” I said. And we both knew Alaric would never allow that.
“Let’s leave everything behind,” he said. “Tonight. Pick a place, and we’ll disappear—Earth, Aeterna. Hells, we’ll find a new realm no one has heard of.” His eyes burned with intensity. “Don’t you want more?”
I rubbed my palm over the building pain in my chest. “Wanting has never been our problem, Silas.”
He slipped his fingers between mine. “Tell me what you want.”
My heart squeezed in my chest. I loved him. I couldn’t deny it. I loved him like a desperate idiot, even when I had thought he didn’t want me in his life. But there was too much standing in our way.
“What about Aria and Stephan?” I asked. Silas had claimed the baby as his own, and my heart clenched. “You have to make things right for them.”
“I don’t know,” he breathed. He pulled me against his chest and pressed his cheek against my temple. His arms gripped me so tight, as if he could hold us together before the world pulled us apart.
“They deserve so much more.” I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart. It beat under my palm, strong and steady. “So many people are counting on us.”
“What happened to ‘screw everyone else’?”
“Half the Aeternal Council just defected. And Elias is still out there.”
His jaw flexed against my temple as I continued.
“Lower Aeterna is a powder keg about to blow, and your government just fell apart. I know you hate the way the Council manipulated you, but you’re a part of it now. And after all you’ve done to give Stephan and Aria a life together, you can’t abandon them.” I sighed. With my memories restored, the weight of responsibility sat on my shoulders. “Without me, the Circle can’t access the full power of the Earthen Source. They need my help to recover from centuries of hiding and all our losses fighting the Brotherhood. We’re scattered across Earth, and I have to help bring them home. I just don’t know how the two of us fit in with all of that.”
“I won’t give up that easily,” he said.
I ran the tips of my fingers across his stubborn, determined jawline. I was tearing out my own heart. Neither of us could live with ourselves if we ran away from everyone counting on us. But our lives couldn’t overlap in two different realms with the Council and the Circle between us.
Crunching footsteps alerted us to someone’s approach. I stepped away from Silas, and both of us flared with magic as Tessa appeared a few yards away.
“The Circle is waiting for you,” she said, her eyes locked on Silas’s new flare.
I took another step away from Silas. He reached for me, but I shook my head. For once, his expression was completely unguarded, and his pained expression matched the feelings shared through our bond.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
I skimmed to the ring of tents before he could talk me out of my decision. A shimmering dome extended across the site, blocking outside magic from entering, including Silas and the Guardians. Casius waited just inside the boundary.
I paused before I walked through, wiping the moisture from my eyes and gathering myself. I couldn’t deal with the pain of my impossible feelings for Silas right then. I simply didn’t have room for more emotions. The Circle was waiting, ready to start working on everything that had to be dealt with. I had to push down my feelings until I could accept the pain of letting Silas go.
A few minutes later, Silas, Tessa, and Acting Commander Corin walked up to the dome. Casius extended his hand to each, granting them access through the barrier.
I turned away from Silas’s burning gaze, but the emotions raging through our bond were full of pain.
Polar ice caps. Antarctica. Cold like ice.
“Thank you for welcoming us, Lord Casius,” Silas said. His voice was stiff.
“Just Casius. We aren’t formal here.” He motioned toward me. “You can thank Maeve for convincing us to hear you out. I can’t promise anything, but we owe you our lives today.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.
While Casius led us through the encampment, Silas’s stare weighed on my back the entire way, but I couldn’t meet his gaze. Tents circled campfires burning brightly into the night sky as we passed huddled groups of exhausted survivors. Their whispers followed us as we wound our way to the center, where the Circle waited.
My guilt flamed higher. The Sect had stayed to fight because I’d asked them to. I’d told them we could win this. And now so many were gone. We weren’t celebrating a victory; we were mourning our losses.
The three remaining members of the Circle gathered around a large fire, sitting in what would have been a circle if not for the obvious gaps. I sat next to Casius, and the empty spot on my right was like a fireball in my heart.
Silas stood on the edge, with Tessa and Corin a few feet behind him. “I recognize your losses this day,” Silas said to the Circle. “Your dead are remembered.”
“They remain in our hearts,” a soft chorus of voices responded.
Casius, Jason, and Tamara stared openly at Silas, Tessa, and Corin. I couldn’t blame them for being nervous. They’d been running from the Guardians for generations. Even I had grown up fearing them and hearing tales of terror before the Brotherhood. If I’d had those memories when I had met Silas, I would have run the other direction and never stopped. It had taken a lot of convincing to get my people to agree to broker a deal with the Lord Commander of the Guardians.
“I’m here to discuss your Sect’s return to Aeterna,” Silas announced.
Angry murmurs rippled through the Circle.
Tamara stared at Silas with furrowed brows and a raised chin. “We’re not going back to Aeterna.”
Silas bristled. “An arrangement needs to be reached—”
“Our home is here,” Jason said firmly.
“You have nothing left here,” Silas countered. “The Council will take care of you.”
I gritted my teeth. He was going about this all wrong. His approach wouldn’t work, and we didn’t have time to waste. “Silas, please sit down.” I pointed at the ground next to me.
Eyes popped around the Circle as he sat without argument to my right, crossing his long legs on the ground.
“We’re all on the same side here,” I said. “You all saw what happened today. The Guardians risked their lives to stop the Brotherhood, and they lost people too.” I paused so the Circle would think about my words, then I locked up my feelings and forced myself to meet Silas’s gaze. “Your dead are remembered.”
“They remain in our hearts,” he murmured, and we locked gazes.
His eyes flickered in the firelight. The gravity between us was undeniable, drawing us together. But there was so much standing between us. I swallowed hard and looked away.
I turned my attention back to the Circle. “We refused to run from the Brotherhood today, and I refuse to run and hide from the Council any longer. It’s time to take back control of our lives.”
Casius nodded in silent agreement.
“Silas can help us find a way to live our lives in peace.” I held each of my people’s gazes before I spoke to Silas again. “My people will not leave Earth. This is our home. You need to accept that so we can move forward. It’s time for a new arrangement between our people.”
WE TALKED LONG INTO the night and finally agreed to a plan, which Silas would present to the Council. The Lost Sect would not return to Aeterna.
The Council would leave us in peace in return for access to a portion of the Earth’s energy, which we would harvest and transfer to them. We would no longer need to run. All our people who were still in hiding could return, and we would be free to live our lives without fearing the Aeternal Council.
“I have one more condition,” Silas announced. “I want Maeve to return with me to Aeterna and present the plan to the Council.”
I stared at him in shock.
Casius was the first to object. “No. We can’t agree to that. She’s too valuable to our Sect, and the Council could use her as leverage.”
“Maeve is the perfect intermediary,” Silas disagreed. “She helped to flush out Elias as a traitor within the Council, and she killed Titus. She will be respected as a leader within your Sect. As such, she can present your terms with the greatest chance of success. And if she presents your conditions, then I remain neutral. I can influence the Council from within.”
I had very mixed feelings about this plan. On one hand, being around Silas would only cause more pain. But his proposal did make sense for all the reasons he’d just shared. And a tiny part of me hoped it might give us the time we needed to figure out how to make our stars align.
Casius tapped his fingers on his thigh as he thought. “If the Council were to harm her—”
“She is under my protection,” Silas said. His face went hard. “I gave an Aegis oath to protect her, and no one will dare harm her.”
“I think she’s proven capable of protecting herself today,” Tessa murmured.
I nodded at her in solidarity. Finally, someone appreciated my mad skills.
Casius’s fingers started tapping again. “Maeve?”
I looked at Silas. He had presented the plan as the best option for my Sect, but he was also bargaining for himself. For us. Once again, our fate hung in the balance. But this time, I had the power to choose which way it would tip.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Atticus’s body lay atop a rough-hewn stone altar, shrouded in white linen. I fought back tears as I watched his family beside the flower-strewn altar. They stood in a large group, discreetly wiping their eyes. His parents held each other, and tears dripped freely from his mother’s chin. I remembered the tears in her eyes when she had thanked me for freeing Atticus from the compulsion spell. Now her son was dead.
The Council chamber was packed to the point of claustrophobia. Atticus had been absolved of his Traiten sentence, but Silas had seen to it that he was restored to his title of Guardian posthumously. Atticus was being buried as a hero. And that meant that everyone who had any social status had shown up for the funeral, and so had most of Lower Aeterna. Everyone knew Atticus’s name.
The crowd was tense as Silas stood behind the altar in full dress uniform, golden armor gleaming over his chest. Six other Guardians stood behind him, decked out in ceremonial armor, including Tessa, who once again sported short hair, and Corin, the imposing Acting Commander of the Guardians.
Silas had spent the past two days meeting with each of the families of his fallen Guardians and attending Council meetings, some of which I’d attended as we negotiated our treaty. Between all of that, I hadn’t been alone with him at all. Other than negotiations, we hadn’t talked since I’d turned down his offer to leave everything behind.
Our time had run out. We still hadn’t found a way to make everything work, and I was more convinced than ever that our responsibilities would keep us apart. It was tearing my heart open, but I didn’t know how to fix it.
What was left of the Council stood with their own families to the side of the great chamber, opposite Atticus’s family. Their white robes made it easy to count how few remained—only the Shifter representatives, Lord Nero, and Lady Octavia, along with the Human ones, Lord Alaric, and Silas. Elias’s treachery had gone deeper than anyone could have suspected. Everyone had been surprised when the Fae Councilors, Lord Nuada and Lady Treva, had fled with him. The Council still hadn’t unraveled the full extent of their treachery, but we knew that Elias had engineered the energy shortage by diverting power to the Brotherhood, preying on the lower-class citizens, and gridlocking the Council for years.
Alaric stood with his arm around Aria as she delicately wiped tears away. The small swell of her belly was unmistakable now. My heart clenched again, thinking about her child—Silas’s named heir.
Alaric nodded at me. When I’d returned to Aeterna, I wasn’t convinced I could trust him, but he had been cleared of any connection with the Brotherhood or Elias. He had also been instrumental in getting my proposal approved by the Council. With Silas and Alaric on the same side, the rest of the Council had fallen in line with less argument than I would have thought possible. The Council was reeling and desperate to restore their power. Bringing additional energy into Aeterna through a deal with the Lost Sect would go a long way toward stabilizing their government again.
Surrounded by the small entourage of people Casius had insisted on sending with me, I watched a stranger eulogize Atticus. Stephan stood at my side as the man talked about our friend as though he were a different person. If he said the word “sacrifice” one more time, I was going to scream. There was no remembrance of the vitality and humor that had defined Atticus, or the dedication it had taken to get into the Guardian training program, or the ridiculous amount of food he could put away.
Angry murmurs echoed through the crowd. There was also no mention of the way the Council had falsely imprisoned him because of his class or the reason he’d become the unwilling symbol of the rebellion.
This funeral was not what Atticus deserved. I locked eyes with Silas and shook my head. Although his blank mask was firmly in place, his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides almost convulsively. He stepped around the speaker and walked off the stage to Atticus’s family. The man stopped mid-sentence to watch what Silas was doing.
My stomach twisted as more whispers spread through the crowd of people.
Silas bowed his head in front of Atticus’s parents. “I offer penance for the death of Second Legatis Atticus of House Fervatis.” His voice carried across the silent room, and surprised whispers echoed back through the crowd. I watched with them, just as confused and anxious.
Energy flashed around Silas, and the crowd gasped. The purity and strength of his magic had already been legendary, and as I’d suspected, his new white flare didn’t go unnoticed.
A small dagger appeared in his hand. He held the knife out, hilt first, to Atticus’s father.
The man took the dagger with shaking hands. Silas pushed up the sleeve of his shirt. Atticus’s father drew the blade deeply across Silas’s forearm, carving a fourth mark.
I covered my mouth and watched blood pour from the gash. Silas held his arm out to Junia, Atticus’s mother. She ran her thumb over the wound and licked it, ingesting Silas’s blood. Atticus’s father did the same, then he took Junia in his arms, and the sound of her weeping brought tears to my eyes.
Silas faced the crowd. “Atticus was a good man. His sacrifice was great, and there’s no doubt that his actions were the turning point of the battle for Earth.” He exhaled sharply and rubbed his hand over his face. “Death in battle is not glorious, and it’s certainly not easy for those left behind.”
Silas and I locked gazes. Through our bond, I sensed the shift in him from my spot in the crowd. He let his guard down in public, giving a rare glimpse of the man I had fallen in love with. “Atticus was more than just his sacrifice. He was a son.” Silas nodded at Atticus’s family. “And a friend. We failed him—I failed him—and still he was loyal. He fought his entire life for the same opportunities others are born into, and ultimately, he gave his life for them.”
The people around me started whispering again. From the lower Houses, angry murmurs rose, joined by fresh confusion.
“In his honor, enrollment into the Guardians will be opened to everyone, regardless of House standing. There is a place for every skill and ability. And I will push the Council to
do the same for all Sects. I’ve asked the Council to commit to a representative from Lower Aeterna among our number. It’s time to bridge the divide between Upper and Lower Aeterna. I won’t leave our people behind any longer.”
Cheering erupted from the Lower Houses, although I couldn’t help but notice that not everyone was thrilled with Silas’s proclamation. The Council members had clearly not been expecting Silas’s announcement, which publicly pressured them to add equal representation. And many around me were not going to be satisfied with a few minor changes. What Silas had just done was a step in the right direction, and my heart was a little lighter knowing Atticus would approve, but there was still a long way to go.
SAYING GOODBYE WAS hard. Tessa, Aria, and Stephan were strangers whose lives were now entwined with mine, and each of them was dear to me. I would miss them terribly. I’d already sent my entourage through the shimmering gate as I said goodbye.
I hugged Tessa first. We had spent the night mourning Atticus and making plans to stay in touch. She had become someone I respected and trusted—a true friend. She had her responsibilities with the Guardians, and I would be in Earth, but we promised to visit as often as possible.
There would be opportunities to see Tessa again soon. Silas’s announcement at the funeral, and my deal with the Council, had already caused a lot of change, not the least of which was reopening access to Earth. My people, officially known among the Aeternals as the Earthen Sect of Harvesters, would integrate with the Aeternal Harvesters to control the flow of energy and people to and from Earth. Our Sect would benefit from the additional trade and the right to live our lives out from underneath the will of the Aeternal Council.
I hugged Aria. “Send word when that baby comes,” I said, releasing her. “I’ll be here in a jiffy. With presents.”
Her eyes lit up. “Chocolate?”
I laughed. “You bet.”
Stephan gathered my hand in his and kissed the back of it. “Lady Maeve, it has truly been my pleasure and honor.” His eyes crinkled handsomely as he grinned. That was as close to a “thank you” as a Fae would get, even a half-blooded one. I gave him another hug.
Fate Forged Page 37
