by Gwen Cole
Knox was already on the phone, trying to find out where they were, and Dad was there with a hand on his shoulder.
But nobody seemed to remember that Buck was still missing, along with Reid. I quickly tried to find him, and I glimpsed him in a Canadian forest, blood dripping down his temple.
“I need to go,” I said and Dad looked over at me. “Reid is with Buck right now and he needs help.”
“Alex—” Knox said, the phone still to his ear. He had heard what I said, and he knew Buck was the one who wounded Gavin.
Dad turned to him and said, “I’ve got this. You go find Gavin.”
A look passed between them; they didn’t even need words. Knox finally nodded, silently thanking him. Dad came over to me, and Mom looked unsure about our going.
“You can follow us there,” Dad offered.
“I will if you don’t come back after a few minutes.” She gave him a warning look.
Dad held out his hand and I took it, drifting us away immediately.
SAM
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA
WE DRIFTED TO THE FOREST JUST IN TIME TO SEE Reid drifting away. Buck stood there alone, holding a knife in his hand. The forest we drifted into was full of huge trees with green moss inching up their trunks and spreading over the grassy floor. Wind rocked the high branches—a promise of a coming storm.
Why had Reid brought them here? Did he just want to get Buck away from Gavin, or did he bring him here hoping for a fight?
Dad approached Buck slowly, and I followed behind.
“It’s over, Buck,” Dad called out. “You don’t have to make this any harder.”
“Back in the day, you would have approved of what I was doing.”
“I was a different person back then,” Dad agreed. “But that’s definitely a stretch, even for you.”
Buck shrugged. “Apparently not. So what’s it going to be? Will you take me back to Knox? Have him deal with me?”
“Maybe we’ll leave you in your warehouse for your buyer to find,” Dad said.
Buck laughed, nodding. “That’s a good one, even for you.”
“Just trying to play on your level.” Dad got serious again and said, “I didn’t think you’d ever do something like this. I know you’ve always been angry about your father, but this was too far.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to have an anger inside you so great that it feels like it’s consuming you. After all these years, it felt like I was burning, and then I found I could do something about it—that I could channel it and force them to feel what I felt. To make them pay.”
Buck stuck the knife in a nearby log, and once I got a closer look at it, my breath caught in my throat.
It was covered in blood. Reid.
Buck noticed my reaction and said, “Guess he wasn’t fast enough.” He shrugged.
Dad glanced at me, eyebrows pulled together, and asked Buck, “What did you do?”
“Nothing he wasn’t asking for.”
Dad saw the look on my face and said, “Sam, go. Your mom will be here soon.”
“Might already be too late,” Buck said.
I didn’t want to leave him with Buck, but I also needed to find Reid. Dad nodded at me again, and I left.
SAM
ALASKA, UNITED STATES
THE FIRST THING I SAW WAS A SPLASH OF RED against the snow. It was just a dusting over the grass, probably one of the first snowfalls of the year. It was still white enough to see the blood, as clear as day. A trail of it followed a pair of footprints and I pushed past a few evergreens and stopped short.
Reid stood with his back to me, just wearing his black T-shirt, which outlined his figure against the snow-covered trees. He stood leaning a little to the right, so his hips weren’t perfectly aligned, like he’d been standing there all day, tired and worn out.
I started toward him, but he didn’t react, so I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me. I stopped at his side. He didn’t glance my way, just kept staring forward.
“Reid?”
Gaining enough courage, I forced my eyes down to find his wound, just beneath his ribs. His right hand covered it, doing nothing to hold in the blood. It ran over his fingers and dripped onto the ground. His body was probably still in shock from what happened, and he didn’t seem to be in any pain yet.
When I looked back to his face, his eyes still stared ahead. I finally followed his gaze.
At first, I saw nothing but forest, but the longer I stared, the more something took shape among the branches. It was a house, hidden under the canopy of trees. It looked like nobody had touched it in years.
“This is where I grew up,” Reid said. His fingers twitched over his wound and he flinched. “And this is where my parents died.”
Then I understood why he came here, quickly drifting away from Buck and his knife.
It was his drift point, where he drifted when he didn’t have time to think of anywhere else.
My eyes traveled over the house again. I was unable to imagine what he went through every time he came here. No wonder he didn’t like talking about his past—there was nothing but heartbreak.
“I’m sorry I lied to you.” Finally, he tore his gaze from the cabin and looked at me. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, but I should have. It’s such a stupid thing to lie about. Maybe I was afraid of losing you.”
“Why would you lose me?”
He gave me a very sad kind of smile. “Because I seem to lose everyone who gets close to me. You know I’m not perfect, far from it, and my past always haunts me no matter what I do.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I wasn’t there when they died, and I still don’t know who was responsible. And for some reason, this seems to be the place I always come back to.” Reid looked at the house again, breathing a little heavier. “It’s my drift point, even when I don’t want it to be.”
His free hand lay limp by his side and I took it, brushing my fingers over his knuckles.
Reid closed his eyes and his fingers tightened around mine.
“You haven’t lost me yet,” I said, “and you’re not going to. You may have a different past than I do, but that doesn’t change who you are now. It doesn’t change that I care about you.”
He opened his eyes, but they were still downcast, lashes dark against his skin. “You’ve meant more to me in this past week than anybody has in a long time.” He caught my eye. “I just keep thinking it’s too good to be true. Or I’ll somehow ruin it.”
“Then it’s a good thing you can always find me,” I joked.
A half of a smile appeared. “I’m serious, Sam.”
I allowed my smile to fade away. “I’m not going anywhere, and if I ever do, know that it isn’t by choice. Nothing about your past is going to make me leave.”
“You don’t get it,” he whispered, looking at the house again. “I always woke up in the middle of the night, and instead of going back to sleep, I would drift somewhere. My parents always tried to make me stop, but I was just a kid, you know? But that night when I came back—it was too late.”
“Why do you think it’s a bad thing?” I asked. “You might’ve been killed with them.”
“But what if I could have helped them?” he asked, desperate. “That’s what I hate most. I keep thinking I could have saved them. I could have helped somehow.”
“You were just a kid . . . you can’t blame yourself.”
Reid winced as a shiver ran through his body. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain and the fact he was still bleeding. He needed to get to a hospital.
“I haven’t gone in there since it happened,” he said, nodding toward the cabin. “When I come here, I usually leave straight away, so I don’t have to remember. I keep thinking I’ll have enough courage to walk through that door, to face what I left behind. But I never do.”
“Maybe someday you will.”
“Maybe.”
When Reid turned toward me, I knew it was another one of those moments he was thinking about
kissing me, and I wanted him to. But now was probably the worst timing for it.
“We should go,” I told him. “You need a doctor.”
Reid glanced down to his hand, moving it slightly away from the wound. He studied it. He nodded, still looking down.
I tightened my hand around his and drifted to a hospital in San Diego, appearing in the parking lot across the street. I still remembered this place from years ago, when I sprained my wrist on vacation, so maybe that’s why it was the first one I thought of.
The streets were quiet with just a few cars, and the people walking by didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong with us. I took a step toward the hospital, but Reid held me back.
“You’re not coming with me,” he said.
He looked ready to fall over, clenching his jaw in pain.
“Reid—” I opened and closed my mouth twice before I knew what I wanted to say. “I just found you—I don’t want to leave you already.”
“I know, but you have to. If you come with me, they’ll ask you questions that you can’t answer. It’s better if they know nothing about me, or you.”
I had to admit, his explanation made sense. Even though I hated it.
“What will you tell them?”
“I’m not going to tell them anything. I’m going to get stitched up and leave the first moment I get. If I have to, I’ll tell them I don’t remember anything, or give them a fake name.” Reid’s eyes found mine. “Trust me. I’ve had experience with this before.”
I smiled but couldn’t hold it. “I guess I’m not surprised, but how will I know you’re going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. Once I get out, I promise I’ll find you again.” I looked away, forcing the lump in my throat to stay where it was. “Sam, look . . .” He stepped closer, his breathing hitching in his throat. “I don’t want you to look for me either, not even a glimpse.”
I hated that he had asked that, but I had to respect his privacy.
“I won’t,” I promised.
His hand came up to my face, his touch setting my skin on fire. “But when I do see you, I promise that we’ll finally have that kiss.” A dimple appeared with his half smile.
“Don’t make me wait too long, or I really will come to find you,” I warned.
He gave a low laugh.
Reid took a step back toward the hospital with his hand covering the wound. He was pale again, almost on the verge of collapsing, and I was afraid he would, but he finally turned and walked across the street. I could tell that every step was an effort.
The feeling I had while I watched him walk away, not knowing when I would see him next, was nearly unbearable.
Someone outside the hospital’s revolving door shouted when they saw Reid. A couple of EMTs ran toward him. He took a bad step and staggered to the ground, no longer able to hold himself up.
I couldn’t watch any longer. My last image of him wasn’t a pleasant one. His hand, limp and bloodied, lying motionless next to him as hospital staff surrounded him. The hardest thing to do was drift away.
REID
CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES
I REMEMBERED FALLING DOWN OUTSIDE THE hospital doors. I remembered somebody shouting to get help. I vaguely remembered being brought into the building.
It was all a blur.
Until the pain became so bad that unconsciousness wouldn’t even take over. Bright lights flashed in my eyes, upside-down heads appeared over me, and people talked without pause. A heavy pressure on my stomach made it hard to breathe.
And I lay there, watching the world spin around me as they tried to patch me up. I could feel every time someone touched the wound and every moment I took a breath.
When the pain got bad, I clenched my fists and closed my eyes, imagining myself away from here but forcing myself to stay. I had to stay, and I wondered what they would think if I disappeared before their eyes. The thought made everything a little more bearable, taking my mind off the pain.
I felt a sharp prick in my side, and then a steady beeping in my ears quickened, too fast. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to wake up and have the nightmare be over.
My wish came true a moment later when the medicine hit my veins. I closed my eyes, waiting for nothingness to overtake me.
It was about time.
My eyelids were heavy when I first tried to open them. Every muscle in my body felt weighted down, whispering for me to go back to sleep. When I finally blinked awake, I was alone. I was always alone, so I should have expected it, but for some reason, it surprised me. The last time I was awake, there were so many people around, I just figured there still would be.
How long ago was that?
A vacant chair sat next to my bed, and for a very brief instant, I wished Jake were there.
The door to my room stood open, showing the half-lit hallway. I had no way of telling what time it was, but it had to be sometime in the night because the hospital was quiet and no natural light came from the window.
An IV was connected to my arm, and beeping came from the machine next to me. I couldn’t move anything but my head, my body feeling so heavy and tired, but I could see one of my wrists wrapped in white cloth. When I tried to move my fingers, they responded, twitching and feeling the blanket under them.
I had never felt so tired before, so drained of life.
I assumed this was from whatever medicine they had pumped into me.
I never minded being alone—it was who I was, and it was the only thing that I knew. But I was hurting and tired, and being in a hospital, so far away from the only home I had, made me yearn for some company.
I wondered how long I would have to stay there, and even debated if I would be fine if I left right then. But I wasn’t sure how much damage had been done. I decided to wait, at least until the doctor could fill me on what I didn’t know.
Then I would leave.
A soft breeze rushed into the room, warning me.
My heart quickened until I saw Jake at the foot of my bed. His hair looked more disheveled than usual, and for once he wasn’t smiling or smirking. He looked over me once, like he was making sure I was alive, before he walked to the door, shutting it quietly so the nurses down the hall wouldn’t hear.
In his arms, he held the jacket I had left in the forest with Buck. He also brought an extra pair of clothes, which meant he had gone to my apartment at some point. He draped them over the chair and sat down, sighing.
He didn’t put his legs up on the bed—again, surprising. He had something on his mind.
“Look—” he started, having a hard time meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry for not being there for you more than I was.”
“You have been,” I replied, hesitant.
“Not as much as I should have.”
As much as I would have liked to admit that I didn’t care, I really did. Whenever Jake came around, he stayed about five minutes unless I spent the night at his place—which wasn’t that often.
I never had the nerve to bring it up.
I never wanted to admit I needed help.
I looked away and lay back on my pillow. “Why are we talking about this right now?”
“Because seeing Kiato bring you in that night when I couldn’t help you, I felt like I somehow could have prevented it. Like maybe if I was around more, you wouldn’t get into so many fights, and Buck wouldn’t have taken so much notice of you and then he wouldn’t have sent Kiato after—”
“Stop,” I said. “None of this is your fault, okay? I—”
I could feel my heart beating a little faster, his eyes staring into mine, and I wanted to drift so badly right then, just to get away from his steady gaze. He waited, knowing I wasn’t finished.
“It’s just—” I closed my mouth, battling myself to say what I wanted. “There was this one time I drifted to somewhere in Iowa. It was literally in the middle of nowhere, just corn for miles and empty roads. I was at this gas station, and someone else was there waiting outside on the curb. Another kid, ar
ound my age. He looked so alone and I almost said something to him, but then an old truck pulled up and a man got out, asking him if he was okay and hugged him. You could hear the worry in his voice.”
I paused and glanced at Jake. “And I couldn’t help but think—I don’t have anyone like that. Someone to call and they’ll come, no questions asked.”
“But you do,” Jake said, leaning forward.
“I know,” I said, nodding. I could feel the first tears run down my cheeks and I said again, “I know.”
“No, look at me.” Jake put a hand on the back of my neck, coming closer to make sure I saw him. “Remember how we first met? You were so young and happy, and I knew after that day, my life wouldn’t be the same without you.”
I could only nod.
Jake said, “I will always be there for you. Because that’s what brothers do. You hear me?”
“Okay,” I replied. Because that’s all I could say.
Jake sniffed once and pulled back. “Okay then.”
I found the strength to swipe at my cheeks. “Thank you for coming.” I said it so softly, I wasn’t sure if he had heard me.
But Jake nodded. “Of course.”
“What happened with everyone? Is Gavin okay?”
“Gavin will be in the hospital for a while, but yeah, he’ll be fine. I stayed to make sure, and then I got hold of Knox to let him know where we were. I heard after you and Buck left, things settled down pretty fast. Thankfully nobody was killed.”
Jake glanced at me, wanting to say something else.
“What?” I asked.
“Why did you take Buck? Where did you go?”
I shrugged and admitted, “I’m not really sure. I just wanted to fight him, you know? After everything he did, I just wanted . . . I don’t know. It was dumb, okay?”
“Not dumb,” Jake said. “Just human.”
“Where is he now?” I asked.
“Knox has him—so not our problem anymore.”
“And the buyers?”
“Well, they’ll show up to an empty warehouse that was bleached top to bottom because we didn’t want to leave behind any samplings. Buck was their only contact.”
