“Let’s get you dressed, sweet girl.” Charlotte resisted, twisting and arching her back while Laramie tried to tuck the squirming baby into the purple-striped pajamas.
“Whew.” Laramie zipped up the one-piece, snapped the flap in place so Charlotte couldn’t undo her zipper, then picked her up. “Bathing you is a workout, girlfriend.”
Charlotte caught her own reflection in the mirror and blew raspberries. Laramie chuckled, hung up the damp towel on the hook behind the door, then carried the baby into the kitchen.
Jack handed her a warm bottle of formula.
Charlotte leaned forward, both arms outstretched, gasping little shallow breaths in anticipation.
“Oh my.” Laramie let her hold the bottle. “Let’s go sit down.”
Jack followed her into the living room and they both sat on the sofa and settled the babies in their laps for the last feeding of the day. Her body was weary from the physical exertion of bathing both girls, and the constant worrying about Jack, his choices and her grandparents’ health added another layer of exhaustion. As she sank into the leather cushions and savored the warmth of a sweet-smelling baby nestled in her arms, Laramie let herself relax and her imagination roam.
She imagined this was an ordinary evening—feeding the babies together, then tucking them in. She imagined the handsome guy beside her making her heart do cartwheels with the way he stared lovingly at his daughter wasn’t just a friend she was helping for only a few more days. In her wildly creative mind, she imagined she didn’t have to leave after the girls were in bed. That this was her home. And they were a family.
“Laramie?” Jack’s voice saying her name pulled her back to reality. “Hmm?”
He angled his head toward Charlotte. “She’s asleep already.”
“Oh.” She glanced down at the baby in her arms. The bottle was barely half-empty, but it had slipped from Charlotte’s mouth and her eyes were closed. Laramie stared, certain she’d wake up and cry if she couldn’t finish the bottle. Instead, Charlotte drew a deep breath, then released it in one long contented sigh.
“I’ll put her in bed,” Laramie whispered, her legs brushing against Jack’s as she moved past him. Walking slowly down the hallway toward the girls’ bedroom, Laramie kept her gaze locked on Charlotte’s face. There were plenty of times in recent weeks where she’d tried to tuck her in, and the baby’s eyes had popped open as soon as her backside touched the crib mattress. Then they’d start over with the cuddling and the bottle and even gently rocking until Charlotte settled down again. Laramie was not interested in repeating that vicious cycle tonight. All she wanted was a few quiet moments with Jack to talk and make sure he was all right. As a concerned friend. Nothing more.
Jack came into the room behind her and gently eased Macey into the crib beside Charlotte. Then they stood completely still, both listening to the babies. Laramie held her breath. Was this the rare evening where both girls went to sleep at the same time without resistance? Could they be so fortunate?
Jack gave her two thumbs up, then turned and tiptoed out of the room. Laramie followed, pausing to turn on the white noise machine and cast one more glance toward the babies.
When she stepped into the hallway and pulled the door closed, Jack was waiting, his muscular frame blocking her path and those amazing blue eyes locked on hers. He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Her body hummed as his fingertips skimmed her cheek. Oh. She swallowed hard, unable to move.
“Want to stay and watch a movie?”
No. Yes. She should go. But oh, how she wanted to stay. It was impossible to think clearly with Jack standing so close, those smooth, kissable lips only inches away.
“I have a whole carton of chocolate chip ice cream.” His eyebrows lifted. “And you can pick the movie.”
“Well, you really know how to sweet-talk a girl, don’t you?”
His wide smile made her insides dance like wheat swaying in the field. Then his eyes deepened to a shade of indigo like the evening Colorado sky and he angled his head slowly toward hers. Laramie’s pulse fluttered in her throat as his gaze slid toward her lips. Instead of taking a step back, her hands found their way to the soft cotton of his gray T-shirt and she rested her palms on his chest. Jack’s breath was warm on her skin as his lips parted and she tipped her chin up, no longer able to resist the anticipation of kissing him again.
His lips were soft—softer than she remembered—and she twined her hands at the nape of his neck as he pulled her close and deepened the kiss. The warmth exploding in her chest and Jack’s strong hands splayed across the small of her back chased away all her doubts and worries about the future. Just this once, she let herself get lost in the moment.
* * *
Jack trailed kisses along Laramie’s jaw. A delicious sound slipped from her throat and he relished the sensation of holding her. She was here. In his arms. The girls had stayed asleep. He let his lips linger near her ear, then forced himself to pull away.
“Laramie,” he whispered, resting his hands on her waist.
“Hmm?” Her eyelids were heavy and her lower lip full. And tempting. One subtle dip of his chin and he could kiss her again. He managed to hold back, though.
Don’t ruin a perfect night by talking about the future.
His thoughts were at war.
If he didn’t speak up while he had the courage, he might not get another opportunity before she left for volleyball camp. And after a kiss like that, his heart couldn’t handle being in limbo.
“Come with us to Utah.”
Her eyes widened and she stepped back. “What?”
Okay, so maybe that was too direct. He’d never been good at greasing the skids before broaching a tough topic. The electricity that arced between them only moments before had been snuffed out.
She wrapped her arms around her torso and rubbed her palms along her upper arms. “I have a job. A team to coach. My family is here. I—I don’t want to move.”
“That kiss doesn’t change your feelings at all?” He hated the irritation that crept into his tone. See? This was what happened when he gave into his emotions. They came crashing into the conversation like an angry bull, stomping out any fragile peace he’d established.
“Our kiss was incredible.” Laramie’s voice shook. “I’m just being honest.”
“You won’t be alone in Utah. The girls and I will be there, too.”
“But you work, and I’ll need a job, too. The girls will be in day care. We wouldn’t see each other very often.”
He turned away, gritting his teeth against the frustration her words churned up. Why couldn’t she understand his perspective? He wanted her to come with him. He wanted her to be a part of his new life with his daughters in Utah. More than anything, he wanted to convince her that tonight was only a glimpse, a small taste, of what was possible between them.
“I respect your parents, and your desire to be close while your grandfather isn’t well. On the other hand, don’t you think they have the support they need from your brother and the community?”
Even in the late-evening light coming through the kitchen window, he sensed her fierce gaze.
“You know as well as I do that Landon won’t help care for my grandfather. Or anybody other than himself.”
Her frigid tone should’ve served as a strong warning. He’d known her long enough to know bringing up Landon was a weak argument. Don’t go there. Just don’t. Yet he couldn’t hold back. Wouldn’t hold back. There was too much at stake.
Jack faced her again, his heart pounding. “You know, someday you’re going to have to choose your own happiness over what’s best for other people.”
“Like you’re doing?” Laramie asked. “Why are you really moving to Utah, Jack? Is living here really that horrible that you just can’t stand it?”
Her words knifed at
him. “I told you, it’s a government job. Great benefits, no more traveling.”
“And no family within a day’s drive and no friends. Apparently, that’s the way you like it.”
“Oh, so just because I don’t want to stay in the same town where everybody is always gossiping about my family and telling me how I should live my life, that makes me the bad guy?” His voice was rising, and he was fighting for control, but he didn’t care. They’d just shared a mind-blowing kiss. And she was too afraid to admit she was scared.
“Why are you doing this?” Her voice broke. “Why?”
“Because I want you in my life, Laramie. Not because we’ve been friends forever. Not because you’re great with my girls. I want you.” He pushed his tongue in the pocket of his cheek, wrestling against the emotion clogging his throat. “I thought after what happened tonight, you wanted me, too.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this.” She shook her head and brushed past him. A tear glistened on her cheek.
“What? Fighting for you? Trying with everything I have to prove how much you mean to me?”
“You’re not fighting for me. You’re calling me a coward. Thanks for that.” She marched into the living room, grabbed her tote bag and shoved her book, her sunglasses and her water bottle inside. Her keys jangled as she stormed toward the door.
“Wait. Where are you going?”
She paused, her hand on the doorknob, then looked back over her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed into icy emerald pools. “I’m leaving, Jack. Because the only coward in the room right now is you. If you really cared about me and wanted a relationship, then you wouldn’t be in such a hurry to drag me away from everything that matters.”
Ouch. Didn’t he matter? Didn’t Macey and Charlotte matter? Jack gritted his teeth to keep any more regrettable words from slipping out.
“Oh, and one more thing.” She hovered in the doorway, one foot already out on the porch. “You can find another nanny. I quit.”
He winced as the door clicked shut behind her. How had he messed this up so badly?
Chapter Thirteen
Laramie woke up in her childhood bedroom with Bear standing on her stomach and licking her face.
“Ugh, stop.” She scrunched her eyes shut against the sunlight glowing behind her striped curtains and gently eased the puppy to the side of the bed. “Puppy kisses are sweet, but not right now.”
Trixie raised her head from the end of the bed and blinked slowly, tucking her snout on her paws. She then heaved a sigh and went back to sleep.
If only it were that easy. Laramie yawned and scooped the smaller dog into her arms. “Come here.”
Bear whined and twisted against Laramie, squirming to get down. The scent of bacon sizzling in the kitchen teased her senses and made her stomach growl. “That explains why you’re trying to get my attention. Thanks for waking me up for bacon.”
She lowered him to the floor and eased out from under the covers without disturbing Trixie. As her bare feet touched the shag carpet, Laramie caught a glimpse of her tote bag sagging on the floor by the dresser. Memories from last night came rushing back. The kiss that had made her swoon with happiness, and then the heated words they’d exchanged.
Mortified and shocked that she’d stomped out of Jack’s house, Laramie had cried all the way home, then coaxed the dogs into her car and driven to her family’s farm. Mom and Dad had welcomed her, offered her hugs, then helped her get settled in her old bedroom.
She rubbed her palm against the hollow ache in her chest. Jack had called her a coward. Why? And she’d hurled ugly words right back. They’d known each other for years and never raised their voices at one another in anger. How had their relationship become so convoluted?
Bear raced out of the room, then turned around and charged at her, tongue lolling. He jumped up and pressed his paws against Laramie’s bare knees. When Laramie didn’t stand up, Bear yipped impatiently.
“All right, I’m awake. Honest.” She stood and rummaged in her closet for her old bathrobe, slipped it on, then followed the puppy downstairs and into the kitchen.
Her mother stood at the stove, humming softly as she turned the bacon in the pan. She was dressed in denim shorts and a flowered blouse, and her pale blond hair was twisted into a neat bun.
Bear leaped off the bottom step, his nails skittering on the linoleum as he raced into the kitchen and pounced on an old stuffed animal lying on the floor.
“Good morning.” Mom smiled at Laramie. “Would you like some coffee?”
Laramie nodded and pulled a green mug—a souvenir from a family vacation in Branson, Missouri—from the cabinet above the coffee maker.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Not really.”
Mom plated scrambled eggs and added three strips of crisp bacon. “If you’re hungry, you may have this.”
“Yes, please.” Laramie added cream and sugar to her coffee, then padded to the oval table by the window and sat down. Mom set the plate in front of her along with utensils wrapped in a paper napkin.
“Would you like some toast or orange juice?”
“No, thanks.” Laramie dug in. “I’m glad Bear woke me up in time to eat. Where’s Dad?”
“He and Landon are changing the oil in the tractor.” Mom filled her coffee cup and sat opposite Laramie.
Laramie hesitated, a slice of bacon halfway to her mouth. “I didn’t realize Landon was still around.”
“Sweetie, we hired him to work for us.”
No. She finished the bacon and chased it with a sip of coffee, measuring her words carefully. Landon had a lucrative career as a bull rider. Didn’t he? Sure, he’d told her he was broke, but she didn’t believe him. Hopefully, her parents didn’t, either.
“I can see you’re not too happy about that news.” Mom cradled her coffee in both hands. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t understand why a world champion bull rider is back home working on his family’s farm. Isn’t he supposed to be out on tour or something?”
Mom’s features pinched. “We all fall on hard times every now and then. Landon is...regrouping.”
Laramie snorted. “Right.”
An awkward silence hovered between them. Landon was working an angle. Hatching a plan. He might know how to work on the farm, but she was confident it wouldn’t be long before he asked someone in the family for a loan and then disappeared again.
Laramie ate her breakfast while Mom quietly sipped her coffee. Finally, Mom’s chair creaked as she sat up straighter, her gaze curious. “Speaking of regrouping, what brings you by?”
Laramie shoveled her fork into the scrambled eggs. Where did she even begin?
“Not that you and your dogs aren’t always welcome.”
Her heartache brought her here. Where she always wanted to be when life didn’t go the way she’d expected. Even though she was a grown woman with a job and a house of her own, when she was hurting, she longed for the comfort of her family and her mother’s cooking.
Would that ever change?
“Jack and I kissed,” she confessed. “For the second time.”
“Oh?” Mom’s green eyes widened. “Is that the reason for the tears?”
So she’d heard. Laramie nodded. She’d tried to muffle her crying into her pillow last night. Apparently, it hadn’t worked.
“Typically kissing doesn’t lead to crying.”
“The kiss was great.” Laramie’s skin heated and she averted her gaze. Her lips still tingled from Jack’s touch. The sensation of his warm hands pulling her close wasn’t a memory she’d be able to banish anytime soon.
“What else happened that made you upset?”
“He wants to move to Utah and asked me to go, too.”
Mom’s gasp was audible. “Why don’t you go with him?”
Laramie’s fork clattered
to her plate. “Because I have a job and volleyball season starts soon. Besides, this is my home and I definitely can’t move when Grandpa isn’t doing well.”
“Honey, no one expects you to sacrifice your happiness to take care of the farm or your grandparents.”
“You don’t?”
“Of course not.” Mom rested her hand on Laramie’s arm. “Why would you think that?”
“Because I’m always the one who takes care of everyone else.”
“That’s true.” Her mother tilted her head to one side. “And why do you suppose that is?”
Laramie shoved her plate aside and reached for her coffee. “Because you were always too busy with Landon and his bull riding.”
Hurt flashed in Mom’s eyes. “I was afraid that would happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your dad and I argued a lot over the years about how much time and attention we devoted to Landon.”
Laramie stared into her coffee, surprised by the hot tears pricking her eyelids. “Do you know that Dad never came to even one of my volleyball games?”
“I know,” Mom whispered.
“But he never missed a single one of Landon’s events.”
“It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you.”
Laramie couldn’t speak around the emotion clogging her throat. She really didn’t want to fall apart all over again.
“We can’t change the past and I certainly understand why you feel hurt and ignored, but please hear me when I say that you are loved for who you are and not for how you care for others.”
“But caring for others is how I show that someone matters to me.”
“And you are very loving and attentive,” Mom said. “We are grateful for all you do. But we don’t expect you to end a relationship with Jack because—”
“We don’t have a relationship.”
Mom arched an eyebrow.
“We’re friends.” Laramie sniffed. “We were friends. Now we’re not speaking.”
“What about the twins?”
An Unexpected Arrangement Page 15
