“After I kissed you that first time and you avoided me, I did a little wandering around. When I found it, I thought if I ever had the chance, I’d find a way to show it to you. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t already been here.”
She shook her head. “I’d visit when I was a kid, but I don’t remember this spot at all.” She stretched out on the blanket, facing him. “I know I’ve already said it, but I had such a good time in that hot air balloon. It was incredible.”
“For a second, I thought you were going to bolt from the truck and run away,” Julian replied, lying down to face her.
She chuckled. Had she been that transparent? “I’m sorry.”
He threaded his fingers through hers, lifted them to his lips, and kissed the back of her hand. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you stayed.”
There wasn’t a time she could remember being treated so well. The little gestures were huge to her. Simply things like kissing the back of her hand. Tiny shows of affection that took her breath away. “Me too.”
“I’ve taken one once before, but it’s been a long time.”
Summer’s eyebrows knitted together as she looked at him. That kind of hit her wrong. Just how many women had he taken on things like this? “Oh?”
He shook his head, grunting a laugh. “With my dad when I was a kid. He’d plan things for us when we were young. Things he’d wanted to experience as a kid growing up poor.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and then peeked one open, embarrassed by the sudden jealousy. “I’m sorry. That was—”
“No, it’s okay. I set myself up for that.” He kissed the back of her hand again. “I’ve never dated much, and when I did, I didn’t do things like this with them.”
“Oh.” He didn’t date much? That surprised her. It did lead her to wonder what it was like for him back home. How did he spend his time? “What’s it like living in Houston and being famous?”
He tilted his head. “I’m not sure I’d call myself famous. I can still walk down the street and be anonymous. I’m a painter, not a movie star.”
A famous painter. Well-enough known that someone in their small town knew him. “Yeah, but a teacher here in Sage Valley knew who you were. She made it sound—”
“In the art community, I’m known, but that’s it.”
She untangled her fingers from his. It couldn’t be that simple. While she might not know what it was like having that kind of money, she knew his world was completely separate from hers. “But you’re a billionaire, right? That has to come with a little bit of celebrity status.”
“I guess, but I’m not the face of the company, Zach is. I’m just a guy who loves to paint and be creative. Having the money did give me the freedom to pursue art, but that’s where it stopped.” He sat up. “My dad was a staunch proponent of teaching us that money doesn’t make the person. Growing up, we had to work.”
“I guess I just pictured—”
“Me sitting on the beach in Fiji, sipping umbrella drinks with gobs of women?”
She chuckled. Now that he said it aloud, it sounded silly and incredibly presumptuous. “Okay, maybe the drink, but not gobs of women.”
He lifted an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe gobs of women too.”
“No, I was never like that. Of my siblings, I’m the quietest and the least outgoing. I love being alone with my paint and canvases. Or I did. I think the reason my paintings didn’t do well during this last showing was because I was already wondering what I was missing in my life. I didn’t have words for it, and it came through in my art. Once the critic said what he did, that’s when it hit me. My work was emotionless because I didn’t have what I really wanted.”
“And what was that?”
“Someone I wanted to spend my life with.”
Whoa. The words hit her like a brick. Hadn’t she thought of spending her life with him? Why was it so different when he said it? She sat up.
He held up his hand. “I’m just saying I know where I stand, and I want you to know it. I’m still willing to take this at a pace you’re comfortable with. No pressure.”
Summer could hear the words, feel the sincerity of them, but for some reason, her heart was in panic mode. What if she was letting rose-colored glasses cloud her judgment? Could she trust herself enough to trust him? Was he telling her the truth about his life in Houston? How many signs had she missed with Naomi? Summer knew he wasn’t like that, but it didn’t stop the thoughts.
The one thing she knew was that with him looking at her all puppy-dog eyes, there was no way she could think straight. Not when her heart was pounding out a rhythm that could make Cupid bust a move.
No, what she needed was a second alone to think it all through, and she didn’t need him getting scared and thinking he needed to reassure her. This had to be on her terms. She’d missed things in the past, and she needed a chance to make sure she wasn’t making a mistake.
For now, she’d relax as much as she could and finish her date. When she got home, she’d take the time to think everything through and then figure out what she wanted to do.
26
Julian stared at his phone as he slowly sat on the couch. “She just wants to be friends,” he said barely above a whisper.
It had been a couple of days since their date. He’d tried calling, only to get her voicemail. When he did finally reach her, she sounded different. She’d given a list of reasons why it wouldn’t work between them. His family, her family, their commitments to them, and his life back in Houston. It had made no sense at all to him. What could have happened in the last two days to make her think it wouldn’t work? He was willing to do whatever it took to be with her.
“Friends? I didn’t get that from her at all,” Britney said, taking a seat next to him.
“I don’t know what happened. We had a great time on the date. She said as much.”
“Something must have happened.”
Raking his hand through his hair, he shrugged. “I know, but what? It was romantic, relaxing, and…” He closed his eyes. “She started asking about my life in Houston and what it was like to be a billionaire.”
“Ohhhhh…well, that’s easy to fix. We’ll just let her meet the family. She’ll see that all those dollars don’t make us any less crazy than a regular family with fewer zeros.” She chuckled.
He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“Summer loves you. I could see it.”
“She also said that because of the distance between Sage Valley and Houston, it wouldn’t work.”
Britney scoffed. “She does know you’re a billionaire, right? It’s not like you can’t visit anytime you want. Noah and Mia live in North Carolina. Zach and Harley visit all the time. And you know Momma will visit. She’d like this little town. It’s cute and quaint.”
“So, what do I do? If I tell her I want to stay here, she’ll think I’m only doing it for her. I want to stay here. I feel at home here. I like the slow pace, the people, and, honestly, I liked teaching the kids at the elementary school’s summer art program.”
His sister leaned back, her mouth slightly open. “You taught art?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
She chuckled. “You big ol’ softy. I knew you were a family man down under all that free-spirit nonsense.”
“I want her, Britney. I want her so bad it hurts. I need to finish that barn. I promised I would, but I also need to show her I want to stay and that it’s not just because of her. How do I do that?”
Britney crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back on the couch. It felt like forever before she spoke again. “Does this town have a gallery or art studio?”
“Not that I’ve seen.”
Her eyes glittered, and he could tell her mind was working a mile a minute. “Well, personally, I think it’s time it got one, don’t you?”
Julian’s pulse jumped. He could see where she was going. “But I have a barn to finish. Summer is expecting it. I don’t want her to thi
nk I’ve ditched it.”
“You find a building for the new Sage Valley Art Gallery, and I’ll take care of that barn.” She paused. “It’s the one sitting off in the distance, right?”
“That’s the one. Part of me hates letting someone else finish it.”
She tapped her chin. “Fine, we’ll switch jobs. You work on that barn, and I’ll find the space. We’ll get it hammered out. I have the most perfect, most romantic thing in mind when it comes time to show Summer.”
Nodding, he said, “Okay.”
Britney leaned her head against his shoulder. “We’ll fix this, big brother. If I have to move mountains, we’ll fix this.”
He leaned his head against hers, thankful for his family and the love they gave him. He hoped that one day the incredible woman sitting next to him would find someone who would love her as wholly as she loved people. Anything less wouldn’t be good enough for her.
27
“You did what?” Lexi asked Summer. The second she’d called Lexi and told her what she’d done, Lexi’d driven straight to Summer’s townhome.
“I told him I thought it was best we remain friends. That I couldn’t handle all that money or the possibility of him becoming even more famous. I’m not cut out for that life.” Summer dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “It was hard, but you didn’t see him. If he loves the rest of his family the way he loves his sister, he needs to be in Houston.” She pulled another tissue out of the box sitting next to her on the couch and blew her nose. It was as sore as Julian’s looked a few days ago.
Lexi curled her legs under her as she took a seat in the chair adjacent to the couch. “That makes no sense. You don’t have to stay here. The only real reason you want to stay is that you’re stubborn and you want to finish that barn.”
“That’s not true. I love being here. I like being close to you, Nanna, and Bucky.”
“But you’re in love with him, Summer. I saw how you looked at him. And, with as sad as he looked coming into the store, he was miserable long before he caught that bug. He’s in love with you too.”
Summer shrugged. “That might be, but I can’t ask him to stay, and I don’t want to leave. Plus, there’s the issue of him being famous. I don’t know that I want all that.”
Rolling her eyes, Lexi pinched the bridge of her nose. “I swear, I want to beat some sense into you.”
“Lexi, I’m in love with him. Asking him to stay here with me would be making him choose between not only his family and me but his career too. It wouldn’t be long before he resented me for it. And I can’t say I wouldn’t feel the same if I went with him…if he’d have me. At this point, I’ve driven him as far from me as I can. Even if I wanted that now, I couldn’t. Twice, I’ve walked away from him. He’s not going to give me a third chance.”
Lexi lifted her head and looked straight into Summer’s eyes. “That is without a doubt the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, but until you decide you want him, there’s nothing anyone can do to change your mind.”
“I do want him.”
“I don’t think you do. I think you like the idea of him, but you are terrified of getting hurt. This way, you can love him and never risk a thing. There’s no risk. You don’t trust him, and you certainly don’t trust yourself. There will always be that what-if, but because you didn’t take the leap, you’ll get to live in this fantasy.”
Summer’s mouth dropped open. “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. The truth just hurts, and you’re not brave enough to admit it.”
Was that true? She loved Julian. Being with him was the best thing that ever happened to her. She didn’t want a fantasy. She’d always wanted something real. That’s why she’d been picky with her relationships.
Lexi stood and walked to the door. “Final parting thought. You can drum up all these excuses if you want, but you know I’m right.” She slipped out the door.
Summer tipped over onto her side on the couch and cried. As much as she wanted to deny the truth in what Lexi said, she couldn’t. She was afraid to trust Julian. No, that wasn’t true. She was afraid to trust herself. The last time she’d done that, it had allowed her coworker to undermine her and take her job. What if she was wrong again this time? Her heart hadn’t been on the line then.
Yes, she’d lost her job. Yes, it had hurt. But Julian breaking her heart would crush her. How could she fix the mess she was in?
28
In the weeks following Summer’s message to Julian, she’d spent her time working on photos of the barn in the last stages of its restoration. Her plan was to post them on the ranch’s website with the final reveal of the newly refurbished building kicking off what she hoped would be a flood of event bookings.
She’d also spent the time searching her soul. She couldn’t flip a switch and turn trust on, and she didn’t want to run to Julian when she wasn’t sure. That didn’t mean she didn’t spy on him from time to time. Even after she’d hurt him, he still worked on the barn. It made him all that more loveable.
Now, Summer was parking in front of her nanna’s house. She’d been summoned for dinner, and as conflicted as she’d been, in her heart, she knew she needed some Nanna wisdom. Apparently, her grandma thought the same because she was waiting on the porch for her.
“Hey, Nanna,” Summer said, hugging her grandma.
Nanna gave her a loving pat on the back. “Hey, sweetheart.”
“Dinner smells good.”
“James brought me some chili.”
Summer knitted her eyebrows together. “Are Lexi and James here?”
“Just Lexi, but I get the feeling me and you need to talk.”
“Yeah, we do.”
Nanna led her through the house to the back porch, and they sat on the swing.
“Okay, so, what’s on your mind?” Nanna asked.
“Lexi said the reason I ran from Julian is that I’m not willing to risk getting hurt. That I don’t trust him or myself. That I love the idea of him, but that’s it.”
“Is that true?”
“I don’t want to believe it is, but I think it might be. How did you know you and Bucky would make it so long?”
Nanna snorted. “I didn’t.”
“You didn’t?”
“I knew I loved him. I knew I wanted him, and I knew I wanted to be with him as long as humanly possible. But as far as knowing we’d be together this long? No.”
This wasn’t going like Summer planned at all. “So, then…it’s just a fluke?”
Nanna chuckled and shook her head. “Not at all. What I did know was that every day I’d have to decide to love him whether I liked him or not. It’s a commitment, sweetheart. Love is a feeling, and it’s so grand. It can be exciting and wonderful. It can also bring down an empire and the wickedest of men to their knees in prayer.”
“I want that, Nanna. I want that with Julian. I love him so much. But he really loves his family. I would have to be the cause of his choosing. I don’t want him to hate me down the road.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
Summer shook her head. “No, I don’t want to put him in that position.”
“That’s not how this works. You can’t decide for him whether he stays or goes. Just like he can’t decide for you if you stay or go.” Nanna paused. “But if you love him—and I mean truly love him—then you need to talk to him.”
Her nanna was right. Summer wouldn’t like it if someone were trying to make her decisions for her, and there she was, doing it to Julian. And if she really loved him, it didn’t matter where they lived as long as they were together. “How did you trust yourself enough to love Bucky and for him to love you?”
“The way he loved me. The way we fit. How he made me laugh. That he now lets me meddle and doesn’t butt in. He loves me just as I am. I love him just as he is. That doesn’t mean we don’t push each other to be better people. We just love each other enough to push gently.”
Summer smiled. “I love Julian. I love the wa
y he smiles and how he holds me. I think he loves me too.”
“I’ve thought that since the moment I met him, but that was something you needed to figure out. Love is risky, but it is truly worth it.”
“Thanks, Nanna.”
The screen door opened, and Lexi leaned in the doorframe. “Hey, after we eat, how about you and I go for a walk downtown?”
“I need to find Julian,” Summer replied.
“I agree, but I overheard him and his sister talking today. I don’t know where they’re going, but it sounded like they were going to be out late.”
Summer’s shoulders sagged. “This isn’t something I want to say over the phone, and I don’t want to interrupt him spending time with her. I know he’s missed his family.”
“Then it’s settled. We’ll eat dinner and then take a stroll.”
“Okay.”
Nanna patted Summer’s leg. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
As soon as Summer could, she was finding Julian and telling him she loved him, that she wanted to be with him. The details could be worked out afterward. But that was the biggest detail of all, and if she didn’t tell him, she’d regret it for the rest of her life.
29
Sweating bullets. Stomach tied in knots. Julian hadn’t been this nervous with his first gallery showing.
Britney had worked her magic and roped Lexi into helping him. Any moment now, Summer would be walking through the doors of the new Sage Valley Art Gallery and Education Center. Not only would he be able to show his own paintings, but he knew enough people in the art community that he could show theirs as well.
“Stop pacing. You’re giving me a headache.” Britney grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop inside the small office where he was to be hiding.
The plan—well, Britney’s plan—was for Lexi to bring Summer to the gallery, and once she’d had a chance to look at all the paintings, he’d step out and surprise her. Apparently, that was the romantic thing to do. He’d wanted to see her initial reaction to the paintings.
Inspired By The Creative Cowboy (Sage Valley Ranch Book 5) Page 10
